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“Why do you care if I keep visiting? Why did you chuck Agustín at me, demanding I come over more regularly, I don’t appreciate you bringing others into my affairs.”
Bruno paced through the room, avoiding pointedly to look at his friend.
“I have duties, I can’t spare almost a third of a day each week to sit around and bother you. I’m an adult now, I do not need any more lessons.”
Hernando sighed. This was Alma he heard talking, Alma and her constant pressure to do more even when it was already too much.
“Bruno.”
The seer flinched as if he had been hit. The old scribe cursed himself, the name alone had sounded so accusatory, not at all what he had planned, but he felt exasperated. Every so often, it was just so frustrating dealing with Bruno, especially when he was agitated.
“Come on, amigo, settle down. I just want to…”
“What? What do you want? What do you want from me, I can’t…”
The seer turned again and continued pacing. Hernando stood in front of the door; otherwise he’d have fled the scene already, he had just come to apologize for missing so many of their standing appointments, and telling the man that he wouldn’t be able to keep a weekly schedule anymore. He had gotten a sermon from his cuñado, asking him to visit his Abuelo more frequently. But that just wouldn’t do. He knew exactly that he had already imposed too much, it was time to let go.
“I want to know what I did so you don’t want my company anymore. I thought you enjoyed playing chess with me. What have I done to anger you so much that you won’t even tell me what I did wrong!”
The seer stopped in his tracks, he whirled around, an expression of pure shock on his face. Hernando already knew what this was about, but Bruno was difficult. One couldn’t just tell him things, he had to get to the conclusion himself.
“Wha… No! You did nothing wrong. It’s just… I don’t need you anymore, I have stolen far too much of your time already. You have other things to do, I can’t…”
The old man sighed on the inside. In moments like those, the lack of social skills and experience showed again. Still so young. In the relaxed moments, the seer was so… old beyond his years, had so much insight, but not when it came to himself. Then, all of a sudden, he was only twelve.
Hernando had to be a bit mean to make him see reason.
“So you only visited me because you needed me? Is that what you’re trying to say? And now you don’t need me anymore?” He had to force his face into a mask of anger, he straightened his shoulders, towering over the smaller man. Bruno looked as if he had hit him for real.
“No! I would never…” The shock in the young man’s face was hurting. But this was necessary.
The seer rushed towards him, ringing his hands.
“No, please. That’s not what I’m saying, I didn’t use you, it’s…”
Hernando knew exactly what this was. But Bruno had to spit it out, see it for himself.
“It’s… It’s…” He saw the desperation, the pressure, his friend was a kettle under pressure, just about to explode.
“I can’t take advantage of you this way anymore. I can’t hog your time, and I can’t neglect my duties…”
Hernando sighed. Not moving one inch away from the door, he knew his friend would bold as soon as he did, and still, he hated trapping him like this.
“You are trying to tell me that spending a couple of hours once a week is impacting on your duties? That is already too much? Are you lying to me, Bruno Madrigal?”
“I-I…” He saw tears appearing in the other’s eyes. He hated himself for doing this, but he couldn’t let go. This was as necessary as it was painful.
“Spit it out already. Tell me the truth, the whole truth, Bruno. Otherwise, I have to assume that nothing we had was real, that I wasted my time with you. Or maybe I just wasn’t good enough to teach you anything.”
A sob escaped the younger man’s throat. “I have to be able to function without you! I can’t be so dependent on our… I can’t be so weak, so pathetic anymore because soon you will be…”
Almost there, just a little more, come on.
“I will die eventually. And that’s why I’m not worth your time.”
He knew it wasn’t true, but it was the only way to get him to talk.
“I already can’t stand dealing with my life without you. How is that supposed to go when you…”
Hernando knew he couldn’t push more, but he had to.
“You will be right where you are now. So what’s the difference? Why can’t we have a good time until it has to end, why do you need to cut it short? I miss you, Bruno. I just want to spend time with you. Please let me have this.”
The seer’s eyes finally focused on Hernando, and it broke out of him.
“Why? Why me? No one else wants to spend time with me, unless they need my gift. I’m just bad luck Bruno, the failure, the useless Madrigal, the one who can’t do anything right. What is it you want from me?”
Bruno screamed it at him, and it hurt, he knew it, he had known that this was festering inside the young man’s brain for quite a while now.
“Because I love you Bruno, I love you like the friend you are, like my son Jorge, like my nietos Agustín and Ricardo and my nieta Camila, like my nuera Maria, like family. You are my friend, I cherish you, and friends spend time together.”
The seer was shocked to silence for a moment. Tears streamed down his face.
“Why? Why do you, why don’t…”
Carefully, Hernando inched closer.
“You already know how much good you did for me, but that’s not the reason I love you. There is no specific reason. I can’t tell you a formula, or a recipe to make people love you. I don't understand why others don’t see what I see. But you are not useless, and you are not a failure. You are a wonderful, generous, amazing friend, you are witty, and funny and thoroughly enjoyable. I can’t explain to you why others don’t see it. Why they are too cowardly to even try. But I do, I see you, and you are worth it.”
The old scribe put a hand on Bruno’s shoulder.
“Please, Bruno, don’t you see? That’s what friendship is about. You just enjoy spending time together, you just want to be with the other. Friendship is just love, it has no other need.”
He drew the other closer, feeling his body tense under his hands, but didn’t let go.
“Or don’t you like me? Is it too much for you to waste your time on a boring old man?”
The seer was too tense to joke. And Hernando was too wise to think that words could silence those nasty voices in the seer’s heart.
“I love you too, and I wished I was…” He straightened up.
“Even if you tried, you couldn’t be boring. And you could spend as much time as you want with anyone.”
The scribe pulled the smaller man into a fatherly hug.
“Just accept it, Bruno. This old man likes you, and I don’t want to miss out on our discussions, and the chess is nice too. You’re the only one in the whole Encanto who can beat me, as soon as I’m gone, you’ll see how frustrating it is if you always win at chess. If you need a reason, then put it down to an old geezers peculiarities.”
He felt a pang of sadness when he felt the man melt into the embrace, always so hungry for human contact.
“I highly doubt I’ll ever find out how it is to always win at chess.” Bruno stated.
“Oh come on, you’re pretty good, I doubt anyone but me could…” He looked into his friend's eyes and realized he wasn’t joking, then he understood. When he was gone, no one would play chess with Bruno. He was the only one. He sighed.
“Well, let's not think about this now, there’s enough time to deal with that when the time comes.”
He felt guilty, maybe he did more harm than good.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted a friend too. Someone who didn’t reduce me to my status as the oldest member of the community. I hope you don’t regret our friendship one day.”
For the first time that day, Bruno smiled at him.
Hernando had to strain his ears to hear the answer.
“Never.”
“Does that mean I can expect you to come visit again? Regularly?”
The seer smiled.
“Yes, I will be there.”