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Izzy is 16 when he becomes a pirate. His mother is dead. His father might as well be. After four months in the Navy, he's quite certain he would rather be than spend another moment on a Navy ship.
They're attacked by pirates somewhere off the coast of England. Izzy is a *small* sixteen, has just a dagger to his name, and yet he's turning away from the falling body of some asshole who'd come at him with a sword when he finds another pressed to his neck.
Like this, Edward Teach looks like a god. Tall and muscular and dangerous. "You're a feisty little devil, aren't you," he smirks down at Izzy. "Gonna have to keep an eye on you. Anyone you want dead?"
Izzy blinks, glances around. He spots the Sergeant who grabbed him, once.
Edward doesn't move anything but his head. The man's body hits the deck.
Izzy decides if he has to serve under someone, this might be the better offer.
Of course, Edward isn't a captain yet. He's seventeen, only slightly older than Izzy himself even if he's at least a foot taller with far more muscle than Izzy's ever had. He's Hornigold's favorite, though, and with the death of his first mate (oops, Izzy's fault) he's promoted.
They take care of that less than a year later. Hornigold is angry with Edward about...something, Izzy isn't entirely clear on what (He thinks it might be something to do with the raid the other day?)
Ed is tied to the mast. Hornigold has the whip in his hand. It never strikes.
Izzy slits his throat. Ed looks up at him, blood coating his hands, and says "Good job,first mate."As soon as he's off the mast he's clapping his hands onto Izzy's shoulders and Izzy almost falls over.
He's not sure he's ever been touched like that, before. Kindly. He wants it.
They don't keep that ship; it's way more than they can handle. They get a smaller one.They get a crew, all a decade older and fifty pounds bigger (at least) Than Izzy. They are not safe (though he has never been safe). He stabs the first man on their ship who says the word mutiny
Izzy likes being a pirate, is the thing. He likes the repetitive nature of life at sea, he likes knowing his role, being able to serve Edward (even if serving Edward's increasingly ridiculous impulses combined with the weeks he spends in bed is...hard)
He isn't sure he likes the part where any breath could be his last, where so little good things (an extra bite of orange. A week where you don't have to stab someone) ever happen
No one has touched him since Edward did, when he made him first mate. Sure, there's moments, stitching a guy up, sliding past someone in the food line, whatever, but...but that isn't the same
Good things don't last. Edward has fantastical, ridiculous ideas. More than once, they almost get Izzy killed. Sometimes they do get damn near almost everyone else killed.
Izzy still follows. Because Edward ordered anyone who hurt him dead. Because Edward had once looked at him.
Edward had looked at him, once, like he mattered.
It was enough for 20 years of fierce dedication. It was enough that he'd never be able to wash the blood he spilled for Edward away, not truly.
It was enough that this was all he'd ever have.
And then Stede Fucking Bonnet shows up and ruins the fragile peace that Izzy had made for himself.
Izzy means to duel him. Edward orders him to stand down.
For the first time in twenty years just for an instant, Izzy considers disobeying an order.
Izzy stands down.
He hates this ship. He hates this crew. His schedule is no longer followed, his duties list has become basically every single thing on the ship, and Edward...
Now that Edward has nice things, he can't even be bothered to be rude to him. It's like he's ceased to exist.
He feels torn open and raw, constantly on edge. He tries to hold himself to a schedule; he wakes up early, works, eats breakfast, works, eats lunch, works, eats dinner, works, keeps watch, sleeps. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
They've been with The Revenge for six weeks when Stede Bonnet claps a hand onto his shoulder and tells him 'good job.'
His knees almost buckle. he's certain his eyes betray him because Stede just keeps looking at him so he does the respectable thing and runs.
He doesn't want Stede to says he's a good first mate. (he does). he doesn't want Stede to touch him like that (he does, he does, he *does*)
Stede is...confused. He'd just meant to tell Izzy that he appreciated the first mate's effort, after how *hard* he's been trying, and the...the look Izzy had given him, like he was *ruining* him just by touching him...
He does the best thing he can think of; goes and talks to Edward. "Darling" he says. "I was talking to Israel earlier, and I put my hand on his shoulder, and he had a...a strong reaction? Not negative" he hurried to add, "Just...surprised?"
Surprised felt like way too small a word for the look on Izzy's face;he looked like Stede could've taken his heart from his chest and it would've hurt less.
"He... looked like noone had ever touched him, before," Stede admits. "Gently,at least. I'm...worried we've failed him."
Ed shrugged. "He's never asked for that kind of shit." "But maybe...I mean, from the stories you've told me, you didn't exactly...I'm not sure you would've been open to giving it before and he knows that. What if he doesn't know he can have it now"
Ed bites his lip because...that does make sense. He thinks about how Izzy used to look at him, like he hung the stars. He thinks about the way Izzy looks at him, now, like he's given up but is still trying.
"alright." ed says. "Then let's make a plan."
Izzy wakes up at his usual time, goes out to the deck, and finds the deck clean. The sails are correct. He doesn't get what the fuck happened, but...it's fine.
The day gets more and more bizarre. Edward is actually on the deck, and he glares at the crew until they...actually try to learn what Izzy is teaching them. Lunch is roasted meat, Izzy's favorite kind. Ed sits next to him. he doesn't *understand*
It continues. All day. Izzy comes up from below deck at five and...and there's *no work for him to do*. He doesn't understand what the fuck is happening.
"Iz" Ed says quite eagerly. "Come have a drink with Stede and I."
He has never been able to say no. He follows, all the way downstairs, all the way to the couch.
Stede hands him a glass of gin and Izzy blinks. "I thought you drank brandy."
"Cmon, Iz, Gin's always been your favorite. Drink." He drinks. It's *good* gin, the kind Izzy has only had a few times. It burns right, all the way down to his belly, and he sinks back into the couch.
"The fuck was up with the crew today?" "What do you mean, Iz?" He snorts. "They were fucking doing their jobs? They didn't harass me? Nobody called me a name, nobody tried to sneak something into my food?"
Ed and Stede were both slightly concerned about All Of That.
"Iz? were they doin' that shit...before today?" He shrugs and Ed growls "Why didn't you tell me, mate?"
"You would've laughed. Didn't need to be laughed at even more."
"New rule." Ed said firmly. "You come to me if you have a problem." "Ed..." "That. is. a. Rule. Iz." "Yessir."
Izzy bit his lip, nodded. They sat there for almost half an hour, chatting, before izzy excused himself. It was...it was *nice.*
That was scary. he didn't get nice things. This was just another weird thing Ed decided he wanted for two days and then gave up on.
The thing was, it sort of didn't stop. He ate next to them, the crew was actually trying now, and they started...getting him shit. A new pair of boots, a new shirt, a pair of knives that were so fucking pretty it hurt. A book. A new blanket for his bed. Gin.
They, of course, meant his fucking captains. Because of course they suddenly decided Izzy needed *gifts*, as Bonnet had found his room DISTRESSINGLY empty (according to him)
This goes on for a few weeks.
Then they start *saying things*.
Edward tells him "good job, mate" whenever he does the most minor task and it's too eager to sound patronizing. Stede asks him for help learning more about how the ship works, and he calls him *smart* and *capable*
This *has to stop* if only to save his poor wrist.
Then, some time after that, when Izzy was certain he'd already gone mad, they started touching him.
It was little things, really. A hand to his shoulder when giving an order, an arm draped around his side when bringing him downstairs for a drink. It was soft and gentle and sweet and so much more than Izzy could ever deserve
And then he gets sick. It's nothing too series, a nasty cough and his stomach is churning but he does what he always does; skips breakfast and goes to try and do his job.
Stede comes up onto deck and gives him a slightly concerned look (which Izzy does not see, because he's busy trying not to throw up).
Ed comes up onto deck, at Stede's urging, and takes one look at Izzy before he's moving to his side.
"Hey mate. C'mon, let's get you below deck Iz you look like death. "Sir." "No. No working like this, absolutely not. C'mon." Ed had a hand on his shoulder and it was like all of Izzy's energy was gone; his knees buckled and Ed only just caught him.
"C'mon, Iz." Ed murmured, hoisting the smaller man up and he is never going to live this down, oh god, he's going to be laughed at for *weeks*. Those thoughts are quickly banished by the overwhelming nausea as he fights frantically against throwing up all over Ed.
Out of nowhere, Stede is there, holding a bowl to his face and he gives up. His throat burns and his stomach is cramping as he throws up but finally he slumps back into Ed's chest and does feel at least a *little* better.
"Alright." Ed murmured and he sounded so fucking soft and Izzy didn't deserve it this wasn't his. He pushed weakly at Ed's chest, but Ed just made a quiet sound as Stede grasped the softest of blankets and wrapped him up in it like a burrito. It was warm and cozy and he gave up.
Ed gave a soft laugh as the smaller man went boneless. "There you go. C'mon, bed's so fucking comfy." he settled Izzy in the middle of the mattress so he could lay down on one side and leave room for Stede, stroking Izzy's hair.
"I don't understand" Izzy whispered hoarsely. "I know, Iz. I...we can talk when you're better, okay? I just want to make sure you're alright, so you're stayin' right here for me." Izzy nodded into his neck; he didn't understand. He didn't have any idea what was happening.
They make him drink soup. They pet his hair and call him good and sleep with arms thrown over his side. It's so much more than he deserves.
He never wants it to stop.
He does get better, of course, goes back to his cold bed. It's fine, he's fine with that; his room is softer, now, after all of their gifts. All he needs is the occasional touch, drink, whatever.
Except they don't stop. They just keep touching him. Ed tugs him closer and closer every story night until one day, he drags izzy *into* his lap and Izzy panics so hard he hears none of the story.
A few days after that, Izzy has a *bad* day. The crew are making comments about him and the captains and his stomach is killing him and he'd barely slept and he found himself having to work harder than usual and everything just felt awful.
"Hey Iz." Ed's voice is soft when he corners Izzy after dinner. "You coming to hang out with Stede and me?"
For the first time maybe ever he considers refusing but Ed is already leading him down the stairs and before he can think he's in a blanket between them on the couch.
Izzy has decided that he has gone completely and utterly mad.
"What the FUCK is happening?" He demands aloud and Ed if possible tightens the arm around his side. "Iz...we're just tryin'a take care of you." "WHY?"
"Damnit, iz.' Ed sighed but stede shook his head. "No, none of that Edward. Israel, we want that because we like you. You're loyal and you're smart and you take care of the crew. We just...you deserve so much, izzy."
"But..I don't need..." "s not about needing iz. It's about wanting. Like how we want you. Here. With us. Forever." Izzys eyes widened slightly, flickered between them. "H...here?"
"Yeah. Right. Here. With us.' Ed leaned to kiss him and izzy mewled as he pressed into it. "We wanna spoil you, iz." "You already have." "Oh, you haven't seen anything yet dear." Stede beamed
It becomes a regular thing. And slowly, izzy stops protesting. Once, after a truly awful day when he slips from the rigging and sprains his knee, he quietly goes up and asks Ed "can we. Tonight. Please?' And Ed kisses him soundly.
Stede rubs cream into his knee that night as Ed kisses him until he's an Izzy shaped puddle in their laps. It's warm and soft and gentle and everything he's never deserved and he just wants more of it.
They near the time he usually goes back to his room and he hesitates.
Izzy has always been a man of action, not words. He swings his legs from Stede's lap and hauls himself from Ed's and limps to the bed. He hears both inhale as he curls up and looks at them like "well?'
Ed tackles him into the mattress. Stede follows a little more slowly, eyes soft as he settles down and izzys side and kisses his hair. "We love you, my sweet."
Stede spoils him rotten, same as he does Ed. He buys him soft things. Theyre always stocked up on the foods he likes (and can stomach). He sits between them during story time, and can barely make himself sleep if it's not snuggled up with them.
They've made him soft. He's supposed to hate it.
He can't hate it. More importantly, he doesn't want to.
He finds himself sitting near the bow of the ship, one morning, Ed at his back. There's a soft blanket around both of them and they're eating the fucking cinnamon roals Roach made for breakfast. A hand is stroking his hair, stede half asleep on his shoulder.
A year ago, sitting down on the deck at all would've been insanity. A year ago, he'd been touched Once ever.
He's still not clear how he got here. But he wants to stay. He knows that much.
Izzy wants to stay. And they want him to stay.
That's all he's ever wanted, really. Like this, cradled between the men he loves, he thinks it was worth the wait.