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Ray is shocked by Sand’s reaction to his ex. He believed him when he told him that he had nothing to worry about, he didn’t have any reasons to doubt him. But seeing how surprised he seemed when Ray said they were boyfriends and how he sent him away, he can’t leave things like this. That’s why he hides behind the door and waits to see what happens.
To be honest, hearing them talking about Sand’s dream of going to music festivals around the world hurts a little bit. He thought he was special when Sand allowed him to go with him, turns out he wasn’t. But what hurts the most is Sand agreeing that Ray isn’t his type and saying that Boeing was completely his type. He knows –hopes– that Sand doesn’t want to get back with him, but he isn’t turning him down either.
Ray can’t stop the tears from falling but he has enough control to cry quietly, allowing him to remain unnoticed. He’s glad when they seem to head outside, hopefully to go their separate ways. But of course that fucking asshole keeps pushing and tries to go home with Sand. That’s too much for Ray, who makes his way to them and interrupts them, giving Sand another chance to come home with him and rejecting that moron, but Sand denies him again. Well, if this is how it has to be, then be it. He invites them to his house to have a drink in the pool.
Once they get to his house, Boeing and Ray immediately get undressed and jump in the pool but Sand chooses to sit and sip his drink. Ray knows he’s uncomfortable, he just doesn’t know if it’s him or his ex making him feel this way.
When Boeing invites Sand to get in the pool and he says no, Ray challenges him again. He’s still hoping he will realize how stupid this is and send Boeing away, but instead he chooses to get in the pool. Ray turns around trying to hide his disappointment and moves to the end of the pool, where his drink waits for him.
When Sand gets to them, he looks at Ray’s drink then at Ray, who gives him a small smile, then at Boeing. Ray’s had enough of this.
“Answer me. Do you still love him?”
Sand looks back at him in shock but doesn’t answer.
“If you can’t answer that, how about you guys kiss?”
“I have no problem with that,” says Boeing with a smirk.
Sand turns to him with anger on his face.
“I think you should leave”
“Oh, but we are having fun, aren’t we?”
“Please, leave. I’m not in the mood for a party”
“Okay, okay. I’ll see you around,” he says raising his hands.
They get out of the pool and once Boeing is gone, Ray gets inside to put on his robe. When he gets outside, he sees Sand completely dressed and putting his bag over his shoulder.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I don’t like him being around you. Deal with him or I’ll do it”
“Are you kidding me? You can’t choose who I’m friends with”
Before he can say something hurtful and make everything worse, Ray turns around and gets inside. He heads to the living room and opens the cabinet where the whiskey is calling for him. He sits on the floor with his back to the wall and lets the tears and pain run free. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, wallowing in his pain and regrets, but he suddenly hears steps approaching him.
Sand finds Ray sitting on the floor with his head between his knees, shoulders shaking, and a bottle of whiskey in front of him with a glass served but untouched.
“Ray”
Ray tries to stop his crying and make himself smaller. Sand sits next to him and puts a hand on his arm, trying to look at his face. Eventually, he pulls at Ray’s chin and looks all over his face.
“Ray”
“I hate this. I don’t want to feel like this. I trust you. I really do. I believed you when you said I had nothing to worry about, but when I saw him coming on to you and you going along with it... I hated it”
“I didn’t-”
“I saw you. In the bar. It hurt, but I hurt you so many times before. I know I deserve this. I deserve worse, probably”
“Ray, I don’t want Boeing”
“Do you want me?” he asks quietly.
“Of course I do. How can you doubt that?”
Ray hesitates and Sand holds his hand to reassure him.
“How can you want me when I’ve hurt you so much? When I’m not part of your dream? When I’m not your type?” he says with more tears running down his face.
With a gasp, Sand realizes that Ray heard his conversation with Boeing at the bar.
“I- I didn’t mean it like that”
Ray pulls away and buries his face in his knees again.
“I just wanted him to know that he hurt me. I didn’t mean to hurt you in the process. I’m sorry for not realizing how you would feel. I just... He was important to me and he hurt me, but I still loved him for a long time. Honestly, if I hadn’t met you I would probably had hesitated. But I don’t have any interest in getting back with him. It just… is a difficult change and I hadn’t seen him in over a year. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt”
Ray stays silent and keeps crying.
“I’m sorry. I love you. So much. And I don’t care if you are my type or not. I fell for you. I’m happy with you”
Ray still doesn’t say anything but he raises his head.
“Ray, please,” Sand says with tears in his eyes, “I- Say something. Please”
Ray jumps on his lap and wraps his arms around him, burying his face in his chest while Sand runs his hands over his hair and back and hugs him closer.
“I’m sorry”
“I know. You’re a good person, Sand. Too good sometimes. Some people don’t deserve your kindness. He doesn’t. I- I don’t. I never did”
Sand pushes Ray until he can look him in the eye and runs his thumb up and down his cheek.
“Yes, you do. You deserve good things”
“And Boeing?”
Sand tenses but replies immediately.
“I know he doesn’t. At least not from me. I just...”
“See? You’re too good”
Sand wipes Ray’s tears with his hands and agrees.
“I know I have a problem setting boundaries. I promise I’ll work on it”
“Thank you”
They hug again and stay like that for a few minutes before Ray breaks the silence.
“Hey, at least your lack of boundaries brought us together. I don’t know anyone else who would keep showing up for a drunk nuisance like me”
“Well, someone said that night was priceless. And I have to agree. It’s difficult not wanting a repeat of such a night”
“Ooh, Sand. You flirt,” laughs Ray.
“Asshole,” laughs Sand.
Ray nuzzles their noses together and sighs.
“I love you. I’m sorry I keep messing things up”
“You didn’t mess anything up. If you want to blame someone, blame Boeing”
“Let’s forget about him”
“Hm,” hums Sand in agreement as he kisses Ray’s neck. “He’s already forgotten”
“Good,” says Ray before he meets Sand’s lips in a passionate kiss.