Chapter Text
The beam of blinding white light slammed into Jim, knocking him off his feet. He crashed to the ground and disappeared from view behind a rather large rock formation. Spock felt his unacknowledged T'hy'la bond twinge and dashed over to him. He got there just as Jim stood to his feet.
Only it was not his Jim. The man he knew and secretly loved was gone. Instead, a small blonde boy stood there, practically swimming in Jim's command gold uniform shirt. His sky blue eyes looked up at Spock, confusion evident. He was maybe 4.
It was Jim. Spock knew it as he knew himself. He would know his T'hy'la anywhere. The eyes were the same shape and color. The hair was the same golden hue. The facial structure was the same, only younger. The jawline and cheekbones were more masked by baby fat. But it was still him. Spock's chest filled with horror. How had this happened?!
"Where am I?" Young Jim asked in a small, halting voice, glancing around himself frantically. He scrunched down in an attempt to make himself smaller. "Did momma send me away again?"
Another beam of the same white light shot past them barely missing Spock. Spock quickly gathered the small boy into his arms and darted away. This was obviously not a safe place for a child.
Once he was sure they were out of range of the weapon? Or whatever that thing was, Spock called for beam out. The rest of the away team would have to handle the problem on their own. Spock needed to get the young captain out of there and to safety immediately. For while adult Jim had signed up to risk life and limb on this misson, this child had done no such thing, nor could he, and must be kept out of harms way.
The request was immediately granted, and they materialized on board Enterprise, young Jim desperately clutching Spocks neck. He looked around the transporter room with wide eyes.
"I really messed up this time, didn't I?" He whispered solemnly, then in a tiny voice whimpered, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems again."
Spocks blood ran cold at hearing his beloveds younger self's words. He didn't want to consider what would cause a child to talk like this.
The doors slid open, and Dr, McCoy stormed in, ranting. "What damn fool thing did you do now, Jim?! I swear to -"
The child in Spocks arms physically flinched away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He cried out, tears filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. "I promise I'll be good! I promise! I'm sorry!"
McCoy stopped short, horrified. "Jim?" He asked, looking at the small boy. Spock nodded.
"Hey. Hey.. You're ok.... No one's mad at you." McCoy held his hands up placatingly. "I'm mad at our ship's captain. He likes to do dumb things. His name is Jim. Not at you. Is your name Jim too?"
Jim nodded haltingly. "I'm not in trouble?"
"No, kid. Not even a little bit." McCoy reassured him.
Jim slowly uncurled himself from Spock. Though from his hesitant expression, it was obvious that he was not doing it because he wanted to, but rather cause he felt it was expected of him.
McCoy sighed inwardly. This was not going to be easy. "Hey, kiddo." He said gently. "Why don't you and Mr. Spock here come along with me, and we'll get some ice cream? Does that sound fun?"
Jim shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, keeping his eyes downcast.
McCoy found this lack of a response concerning. However, he knew better than to make a big deal out of it. It wouldn't the kid feel more safe or trusting. It would only make him feel more afraid. So he just led the way to sick bay, making sure to swing by the mess hall on the way to grab some ice cream for Jim.
Thankfully, he knew Jim well enough that he didn't need to ask what flavor he wanted. It was very obvious from the child's demeanor that it would have been difficult to get an actual answer out of him. Jim always was partial to vanilla chocolate swirl. Adult Jim would wink suggestively at him each time he got some saying that he enjoyed more than just one flavor. McCoy made sure to douse it in sprinkles before continuing on his way.
Once at sick bay, he directed Spock to set Jim on a bed. The captain's gold shirt pooled around him on the bed. McCoy handed him the ice cream. Jim looked up at him for confirmation that he was allowed to have it. At McCoy's nod, he dug into it like he was afraid it would be taken from him at any moment.
Spock and McCoy watched this with growing concern. This was not how a happy, well adjusted child acted. It hightend their concern.
McCoy began running some scans of Jim while he inhaled his ice cream. He compared them with his most recent scans of adult Jim.
While he did so, Spock instructed one of the personnel to track down something for young Jim to wear. It was unfeasible for him to continue to wear the captain's shirt that fit him like a rather large dress. They were gone directly.
They returned shortly with a child sized outfit comprised of black pants, a starfleet t-shirt, and some underwear. Spock took the clothing from them and sent them on their way.
The comparison scans confirmed what they already knew. It was Jim alright. Just him from roughly twenty years ago. There was temporal energy completely surrounding him, weaving through his entire body.
Once he finished his ice cream, he sat perfectly still, silently watching McCoy work. It was unsettling to see such a small child so quiet and still. The doctor remembered when his own daughter Joanna was that age. She was always on the move, chattering away like it was her job. But Jim sat motionless, curled in on himself slightly as if to make himself smaller than he was, not making a single sound.
It worried McCoy. In the entire time he'd known Jim, he'd never known him to be this quiet and unmoving. Even in sleep, he was louder and more restless than this.
Spock also watched with alarm. For while Vulcan children were known for being very sedate, human ones were not. Spock had never seen a well adjusted human child act in this manner. Even Vulcan children were more lively than this. And the way that Jim compressed his body, as if he was trying to make himself go unnoticed, was telling.
Jim was not a happy child, and something was very wrong. Someone had hurt his T'hy'la as a child. Spock felt indescribable fury fill his chest, fill his very bones. He wanted to hunt down those who had hurt such an innocent child, his T'hy'la, and he wanted to rip them limb from limb. His T'hy'la, his Jim, did not deserve to feel like this. Especially not this young.
"Are you done with your scans, Doctor?" Spock asked spine stiff with anger at the treatment that must have caused this behavior in the child.
McCoy looked up from his scans. "I believe so. Mr. Spock."
"Would it be acceptable that I remove young Jim from sick bay and take him on a tour of the ship?"
"Yeah. Good idea, Spock. Show the kid around."
Spock walked forward and knelt in front of Jim. "Would you like to see the rest of the ship?" He asked kindly, making sure to emote that kindness as he knew that the normal blank Vulcan expression could be disturbing to humans, and especially to an abused child.
Jim nodded shyly.
Taking in the child's appearance, Spock held out the clothes to him. He took them hesitantly.
"Once you change into these clothes, we will go. Do you require assistance?"
Jim shook his head.
"I see. Then I will turn my back to give you privacy while you change. Let me know if you require assistance."
And with that, Spock sent young Jim on the floor and turned his back.
The quiet rustle of clothes, easily picked up by Spock's ears, told the story of the child's careful dressing. When he was done, he padded over to Spock and tugged on his hand.
Spock turned to see Jim dressed and, presumably, ready to go. Keeping his expression carefully soft, he knelt down next to Jim and smiled.
"Would you like to walk and hold my hand, or would you like me to carry you? Keep in mind that you can change your mind at any point in time. If you wish to walk now and be carried later or vice versa, I will be perfectly agreeable to that as well."
Jim blushed slightly and held out his arms to Spock. Looking away, he whispered, "Carried, please."
Spock wasted no time in scooping the young boy up into his arms. Jim squeaked and gripped Spock's shoulders tightly, burying his face in his neck.
Spock simply stood up and left sick bay, carrying the fair haired child easily. He was small and light for his age. It concerned Spock.
They walked the hallways as he showed Jim the highlights. They got funny looks from the crew, but luckily, no one actually said anything. Spock took Jim to the cafeteria, where he stopped to replicate two meals to bring along and one of Jim's favorite candy bars. This earned him a shy smile as Jim snatched the treat from his hand and devoured it as soon as he was given permission.
He also showed Jim some of the more child friendly science experiments happening on board at the moment. This fascinated Jim enough to get him to haltingly whisper questions in Spock's ear. Spock patiently answered each one. He was surprised by the child's thought process. Young Jim was just as brilliant as his older self.
They stopped at the gym momentarily. However, Jim wasn't very interested in it, so Spock moved on quickly. The rec room was also not a big hit. There were too many people. Jim shrank away from everyone, cuddling even closer to Spock.
The observation deck was next on Spock's mental list of places young Jim might enjoy. The observation deck was blessedly empty. Jim was enthralled. He uncurled from where he was hiding in Spock's arms. A huge grin spread over his face as he looked in wonderment out at the stars.
Spock sat down fluidly, despite the child in his arms. He crossed his legs and set Jim down on his lap.
"Wow." Jim whispered reverently, getting up and walking over to put his hands right up against the glass. "I like the stars. They're so pretty."
Spock hummed in agreement.
Jim turned to look at him. "You're nice. This is the bestest place momma's ever sent me to. Can I stay? I don't wanna go back. Momma's boyfriend isn't nice like you. He yells at me." He shuddered slightly and crawled back into Spock's lap. He wrapped his little arms around Spocks torso.
Spock gently stroked his blond hair as his heart filled with rage. He did not like the picture young Jim had just painted. He forced those emotions down, however. They were not useful in this moment. He merely continued carefully hold Jim.
"Of course, Jim." He whispered solemnly. "We'd be happy to have you stay here with us. I promise no one will yell at you or harm you here."
Jim smiled brightly up at him and snuggled closer. After some time, Spock brought out the meal he had replicated them. They happily ate as they watched the stars twinkling all around them.
Jim became more and more relaxed the longer he sat there, cuddled up in Spock's lap. They stayed that way for a long time, alone on the observation deck watching the stars. Jim fell asleep on Spock's lap.
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Bones worked over the scans and samples he'd taken from young Jim. He ran every test he could think of, every treatment he'd ever heard of, trying to find a solution.
The rest of the away team had thankfully returned unharmed, though they were unable to disarm the weapon.
It began to get late. He knew it would do no good to keep pushing through. Maybe he'd have fresh eyes after he got some sleep. Thinking this, Bones stood up and stretched.
Leaving sick bay, he headed to his quarters. He had just entered them and sat down when the door beeped, alerting him of a visitor.
"Come in!" He called out.
The door slid open to reveal Spock carrying young Jim. The golden haired child was snuggled against him fast asleep.
"Hey, Spock. So looks like the kid's sleeping, huh. Can't say I'm surprised. He's had a big, scary, confusing day."
"Yes, doctor. That brings me to the question I would like to discuss with you. Where should we put him to sleep? I do not think he should be left by himself. He is very young and obviously timid, I believe that giving him his own room would simply frighten him."
"That's probably about right. What do you suggest?"
"The best solution I see is to put him in my room since he seems to be more comfortable with me than with anyone else. I could set up a cot for me to sleep in and put him in my bed. That way, he would not be alone."
"Ok, but you are in command of Enterprise since the captain is..... indisposed..." McCoy said with a meaning look at Jim, sleeping in Spock's arms.
"I could pass command off to Sulu. I believe my presence is necessary to Jim at this time. Even though he somewhat trusts you, you have sickbay to run. On top of that, you have to find a way to return the captain to his former self. You do not have the time to adequately watch him. And he is terrified of everyone else. Sulu can easily take the Conn in my absence. But I believe it would do severe mental harm to Jim to be without me at this time, which is something I am not willing to do."
"Ok, Spock. That sounds reasonable. Go grab a cot from supplies and put the kid to bed. I gotta get to bed myself. If I ever wanna figure out how to fix this mess, I need my rest. So get on out so I can sleep."
"Very well, doctor. I will bring Jim by to see you in the morning."
"Good. Now shoo!"
Spock turned on his heel and left. He contacted supplies and requested a cot be sent over to his quarters. It was at his door when he arrived. He had the person who delivered it bring it inside before he dismissed him.
He carefully laid the sleeping child down on his bed before setting up the cot next to it. He then tucked Jim into bed and turned the room temperature down. He knew that humans tended to appreciate temperatures lower than Vulcans.
Walking into the bathroom that he shared with the captain, he quickly used the toilet and brushed his teeth. Once he had finished, he dimmed the bathroom lights and left the door open so that the low light out into the room. He didn't want Jim to wake in the night and be disoriented and frightened in the dark.
Changing quickly, Spock settled into the cot he had set up next to the bed. He made sure he was within visual range of young Jim in case he should wake up in the night. He didn't want the child to think he was alone. He had a feeling that Jim was all too used to that feeling, even at this young age.
Done all the needed preparations, he turned off the lights and soon after went to sleep. Hopefully, they would be closer to a solution in the morning.