Work Text:
He can feel the guilt in the tip of his tongue.
It shouldn’t matter, his not human, just a supernatural being. But the problem is that Derek is too human, he can see it in his eyes, so vulnerable, in his defensive pose, his aggressive behavior (what about all those times that he slam him against every surface available), and especially in those moments when the name of his sister and uncle slip past his lips... is so human that hurts.
But he doesn't think about any of that and that's why he feel the guilt, and when Scott tells him about what happens, about Peter sending Derek to kill Jackson and how the beta obey everything, and Scott like the human being/werewolf with the biggest heart of the world goes and rescue Jackson and end being recues instead by Derek, then Scott lose his phone and he knows it, know that he can find him and then he feel the guilt.
He feel it for hours and days, isn't even enjoy the dance with Lydia and then Peter ruins the night, bites Lydia, hits him against a car and almost gave him the bite, then he ends in flames.
Derek is the new Alpha and the guilt goes away for a while.
The night when they get Isaac out of jail, when he touches Derek's arm, when he sees how he smiles to the officer like if him is the most charming guy in the whole universe and when he growls to his beta to avoid that he attacks him... The guilt comes back but not for the same reasons, because he knows that Derek is too human and can't avoid caring about him, but the guilt came back twist in desire, desires that makes everything worse.
He doesn't want to feel anything in his skin, in the way that his heart beats harder or how sometimes just can't breathe, and hurts, and it's not just a bitter taste in his mouth, is salty, in the way that it would feel if he can run his tongue in Derek's skin, just in that spot between his neck and shoulder.
He can feel the desire and the denial every time that he has goosebumps running across his skin and in his tongue what he feels now is the want, the desire about the things that he knows he can't have.