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You Can't Play Strip Poker Naked, Unless You Have Removable Body Parts

Summary:

Somehow Nico and Will ended up asking Leo to babysit the Cocoa Puffs while they go on a date night.

Notes:

I had constantly imagined a joke about how you would not be able to play Strip Poker with the Cocoa Puffs because they are already naked. So this is me fulfilling this niche and wanting to write and post a fanfic for Solangelo, with a special guest appearance of Leo Valdez(A.K.A. The stand in comedian).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Among their many friends, a select few are great puff-sitters (who are unavailable to watch the Cocoa Puffs). Leo Valdez is not among the few. (Percy barely makes the list of great puff-sitters.) It is not because the Cocoa Puffs dislike Leo, but he was another kind of mischief that cooperated well with the Cocoa Puffs. It was just that he was the only friend available to puff-sit the Cocoa Puffs.

The puffs were scattered about the room watching their 'dad' (genetic one) give their designated puff-sitter the run down on what to do while he and their step-dad are out for the night.

“You got that Valdez?” Nico asked for the seventh time.

“Yep, got it.” Leo replied with the tone of a child who had to repeatedly be told not to do something. 

Will sighed. “Nico, we need to talk about separation anxiety.”

“I don’t have separation anxiety.” Nico argued. “I have questionable puff-sitter anxiety.”

“Which is not making us have less time for date night.” 

“I-well…”

“Death boy.” Will gave his boyfriend a withering look.

Nico pouted.

Leo patted Nico on the shoulder. 

“You two lovebirds should get going and enjoy your date night before the night is over.” Leo encouraged them. “I’ll watch the kids. We’ll have a bla- a dandy old time, watching movies, playing games, and by the time you come back the kids will be asleep.”

“Dandy?” Will snickered.

Leo shrugged amusingly. “Thought I’d slip in some vocab from the 1930s.”

Nico rolled his eyes. 

“Dandy came from the 18th century and is not typically used to describe having a ‘good time’.”

“And you were in the 1930s for how long?” Will asked.

Nico glared at Will, which Will did not wither at all from it. “You’re insufferable.” He said to Will.

Will pulled Nico into a side hug and gave him a peck on the head. 

Nico grunted, then turned his attention back to the puff-sitter in question.

“Are you sure you can handle watching fifteen mischievous little demons for a couple of hours?”

Leo smirked. “Well, you know what General Mills says about Cocoa Puffs?”

Nico wasn’t sure he wanted to know what some leading war officer named Mills knows about his demons. He also recognized that Leo had his signature smile when he was about to tell a terrible joke. It also does not help that Will looks very curious about Leo’s next line.

“What?” Will prompted.

“Cocoa Puffs are part of a nutritional breakfast.” Leo answered in a gruff, drill sergeant-like voice. He even assumes the stiff rigid posture of one.

Will snorted. Nico elbowed his boyfriend. The Cocoa Puffs much to Nico's dismay gurgled and cackled at Leo's joke, even if it could also refer to how nutritious and edible his demons could be.

“I mean it Leo.” Nico reproached. “If I so much see a bruise or sense an injury on any one of them-”

“Relax Nico, I got this.” Leo assured. “Don’t act like I’m telling you that I am going to teach your kids how to play Go-Fish, but will instead teach them strip poker.”

“Strip poker?” Nico echoed in dismay.

“Do you even know how to play strip poker?” Will managed to ask through his snickers.

Leo shrugged nonchalantly. “Wouldn’t matter. They wouldn’t be able to play in the first place.”

“Because they wouldn’t be able to hold the cards?” Will asked.

“Because you would cheat.” Nico groaned.

“The Cocoa Puffs are already naked.” Leo stated simply.

“What.” Nico frowned.

Will spluttered and blushed slightly.

“They don’t wear clothes, so they don’t have anything to strip off,” Leo paused for a second to ponder then added. “Unless they have removable body parts.”

“Removable body parts?” Nico distinctly remembered how he had wanted to kill Leo just days after his supposed death. He also always has his trusty sword at hand, but he also has fifteen little demons who could be possible witnesses and punished by association.

Before any blood could be shed, Will placed both hands on Nico’s shoulder and began to steer him out the door. “Alright time to go.”

“Huh?”

“Thank you for agreeing to watch the Cocoa Puffs, Leo. Iris Message us if it is an emergency like someone might die.” Will smiled at Leo then looked at the Cocoa Puffs. “Cocoa Puffs be good, do what Leo says unless he endangers your lives.” 

The Cocoa Puffs responded in a cacophony of chirps, moans, growls and other sounds in affirmation.

“Let’s say bye to your dads.” Leo said to the Cocoa Puffs. The little demons joined him at the door frame waving goodbye or watching their parental units leave the camp.

Notes:

If I wanted to continue this work, nothing really bad happens. Just Leo having fun with the puffs playing games, telling them stories, and placing the sleepy puffs on the bed, then quietly playing with the others until their parental units come back. (may have been one or more accidental fires.) During the date night Nico and Will would just be out having fun enjoying the city at night(nothing inappropriate they are still in their teens) maybe dealing with the occasional monster, but ultimately return back to camp see Leo did a good job.

FYI: I got into the PJO-verse mid-middle school years about 13 years-old. Had been re-hooked sometime after TSATS came out.

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