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Fit stood to the side of the group, watching them from the top of a small hill near Tubbo’s house. He’s not sure why they chose to congregate there, especially since Tubbo was new to the island, but there was a large group of people talking loudly by the couches that had been arranged in the shape of a 15 . He’d done his fair share of debating and explaining earlier as the other islanders woke up to discover their missing children, and he was tired. He felt hollow, completely drained of energy. He knew there was likely nothing they could do until the federation decided to give them more information or someone found something, and he knew the odds of someone finding something were slim. They could only wait, and discussing the same things over and over was making his head hurt.
He was about to leave, to return home to his empty house, when he noticed that someone was missing from the main group. It’s not like he was looking for anyone specific, not like he was looking for someone that he wanted to say goodbye to, he just happened to notice that Pac wasn’t with the rest.
After a bit of searching, he found the other man sitting on the bank of the river that eventually filled the pond underneath Tubbo’s house. His knees were pulled up to his chest with his face hidden, but he raised his head as Fit approached.
“What are you doing down here?” He asked, and his stomach sank when he met Pac’s eyes. They were red and his cheeks were wet. It was obvious he’d been crying.
“Hi,” He said quietly, giving Fit a sad smile. The sun was setting in front of them, casting his face in beautiful golden light.
“What’s going on?” Fit asked, taking a seat in the dirt beside him. He made sure to put a careful distance between them, not sitting close enough that it would be weird, but not so far that Pac would think he didn’t want to be there- Fuck . He cursed himself internally. He had to stop overthinking. It wasn’t the right time to be getting distracted by things like that.
“Just the usual,” Pac said, his voice cracking on the last word. He used the sleeves of his sweatshirt to rub tiredly at his eyes. “I just don’t understand how this keeps happening.”
“I know,” Fit sighed. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but we’ll find them. We just have to be patient.” He desperately wished he had something more concrete to comfort him with, but he could barely keep himself hopeful.
“I don’t get it,” Pac said. He huffed out a dramatic breath, flopping his head down on Fit’s shoulder. Fit immediately tensed, his heart leaping into his throat, but Pac continued talking like nothing had happened.
“I just don’t understand,” He was saying. “We literally have nothing. No clues, no hints, nothing to go off of. I’d feel better if we at least had something to go off of, but we don’t.”
“Mh-hm,” Fit said, scrambling to collect his thoughts and say something even remotely coherent. “Yeah, usually at least Cellbit has a lead, but I don’t think he has anything.” His instincts kicked in, and he forced himself to relax and loosely wrapped his arm around Pac’s shoulders. He still wasn’t entirely sure what there was between them.
People had told him that Pac flirted with him, but Pac flirted with a lot of people. It was just how he was. And people flirted back, because who wouldn’t? He was pretty, and funny, and sweet, and, well, Fit was maybe a little biased. He was reluctant to call it a crush, because that sounded so juvenile, and he was a grown man for god’s sake. He was too old to be getting crushes on pretty boys.
Regardless of how impossible it was to sort through his own emotions, he enjoyed the push and pull of their dynamic. He certainly didn’t mind being flirted with, and he would be glad to stay confused if it meant their friendship didn’t change. He was content to wait and see where Pac wanted things to go between them.
Richarlyson had insinuated they’d gone on a date, but Richarlyson was gone. Missing , he corrected himself. Not gone. His son was not gone either. Just missing. He couldn’t let himself lose hope, especially not now that he had people like Pac and Tubbo relying on him. And Mike. But Mike was missing, too. So he had to be the voice of reason, he had to be the one to pull the rest of them back to reality. No matter how desperately he wanted to close himself off and run away.
“Now that the eggs are missing, it feels like everyone forgot that Mike is gone too,” Pac said softly, staring off into the darkening horizon. “I know they don’t mean to, but it feels like I’m the only one who cares.”
“I care too,” Fit said immediately, tightening his arm around his shoulders. “He didn’t stop looking for you, and we’re not going to stop looking for him. This is all just another game for the federation, one that we’re going to win.”
“Thank you,” came Pac’s quiet response. “I know he’s not dead. I can feel it. And that gives me hope that the eggs are alive too.”
“Of course they’re alive. They’re alive and tomorrow, the federation is going to give Cellbit another enigma as a test and he’s going to crack it and pass with flying colors. He’s going to get us coordinates, and we’re going to rescue everyone and they’re all going to be fine. It wouldn’t be very ‘disfruta la isla’ of them otherwise,” he added, and got a small laugh. Fit hoped he sounded convincing. He wasn’t sure how much he believed that this whole ordeal was going to be over so soon, but if he thought about it any harder, he was going to shatter into a million pieces.
They were silent for a while, watching the stars appear one by one as the sun fully set. He wondered if somewhere, his son was able to see the same stars.
“When was the last time you slept?” Fit asked, remembering how exhausted the other man had looked when he first found him.
“Um, it’s maybe been a while,” Pac answered sheepishly. “I’m fine though, I swear.”
“Jesus, between you and Tubbo, I feel like the only thing I ever tell you is to go to sleep.”
“What, you don’t like playing the role of our father?” Pac said, and Fit could tell he was joking, but he still yelped and let out a series of panicked ‘ no’ s.
“Oh god, no, don’t even say that, please.” He did not have the time or energy to delve deeper into why exactly he responded so negatively to the thought of Pac seeing him as a father figure.
“Okay, okay, I’m kidding,” Pac said with a laugh. There was a moment of silence before he sighed and spoke again. “I have trouble sleeping when I’m alone,” He said, so softly it was almost inaudible, and Fit felt his heart shatter into pieces.
“Oh Pac,” Fit said, wrapping his other arm around him in a hug. “You should have said something, I- we could have helped you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking, sounding like he was crying again. Fit hugged him tighter.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s ok,” Fit said lowly, running his hand across his back. “You don’t have to go through this by yourself, you know. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“Thank you,” he sniffed. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Fit reassured again. “Would it help if I, I don’t know, stayed the night with you? Not in a weird way,” he rushed to add, feeling his face heat up. “Just so- like- so you’re not alone.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you-”
“I honestly don’t want to sleep in my empty house either,” he confessed. Which was true, he’d been dreading returning home and having to confront the fact that his son wouldn’t be waiting for him there. Better to distract himself by helping someone else.
“Okay,” Pac said, pulling away to look up at him with a small smile. “Let’s warp then.”
Pac led him easily through the lab’s dark hallways, and Fit couldn’t help but notice the familiar hum of machinery was missing. He decided against commenting on it, and instead silently followed Pac into the lower level where their rooms were.
“I, uhm,” Pac said nervously, hovering in the doorway of Mike’s room. “My room isn’t actually, uh, furnished yet. We were going to, but then we got arrested, and then I got kidnapped, and then he got kidnapped, and then- I guess I just haven’t gotten around to it.”
“Wow, when you put it that way,” Fit laughed. “Where do you sleep then?”
“In Mike’s room,” he said, and it was hard to tell in the low light, but Fit thought he saw the tips of his ears darken. “He has a huge bed, and, um, it’s easier to deal with nightmares if someone is right there.” He said the last part over his shoulder as he entered the room and turned on the bedside lamps.
“Nightmares?” Fit asked, following him inside.
“Yeah, I should probably warn you if you’re going to be anywhere near me while I’m sleeping,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “If you even want to sleep here, I mean, I could bring you a cot or a couch in here or in the other room or-”
“It’s ok, here is fine,” he said, giving what he hoped was a reassuring smile. After all, it would be rude of him to ask Pac to get him special accommodations when Fit was the one who was supposed to be there taking care of him. And the bed was huge, big enough that they could both lay out comfortably without it being weird. And this way, it would be easier to watch over him in case something happens. There was no reason to freak out , he told himself.
With that settled, they both began getting ready for bed. In Fit’s case, carefully taking off his armor piece by piece and laying it in a neat pile on the dresser. He wasn’t planning on sleeping, but he wanted to be as comfortable as possible for Pac if he decided to lay his head on his shoulder again. Just to be a good friend, of course.
Pac returned from the bathroom dressed in a new t-shirt and a pair of shorts, offering a change of clothes to Fit, who accepted after Pac pointed out that they’d been searching the island for the entire day and were covered in dirt. He knew he could have easily warped home and back for a change of clothes of his own, but he was reluctant to leave Pac alone for even a few minutes. The satisfaction he felt from seeing himself in the other man’s clothes was secondary.
He paused in the doorway of the bathroom to admire the way Pac looked in the lamplight. He couldn’t deny that he was pretty, beautiful, even, sprawled out on the bed in casual clothes with no armor and his guard down. Maybe it was the exhaustion of the day altering his judgment, but Fit did what he rarely allowed himself to do: he let himself stare. He let himself lean against the bathroom doorway and watch as Pac carefully removed his prosthetic leg and placed it on the bedside table. He lets himself stare, admire , long enough that he’s caught red-handed as pretty brown eyes look up to meet his own.
“What are you staring at?” Pac asked teasingly.
“I- uh, I’ve just never seen you remove your prosthetic before,” he fumbled, moving to lay next to him on the bed. Pac laughed, and Fit could tell he knew he was lying, but was thankful when he didn’t press him.
“I don’t make a habit of removing it outside of sleeping, seeing as I can’t walk otherwise.” He said it without any malice or annoyance, but Fit immediately felt bad.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, that was kind of insensitive wasn’t it.”
“You’re fine,” Pac laughed. “I don’t mind talking about it, really. Do you take yours off to sleep?” He asked, gesturing to Fit’s metal arm that lay between them.
“I probably would, but it’s a little bit uh, wired into my nervous system,” he said, and Pac sat up so quickly he almost fell over again.
“What?” he yelped. “How?”
“I don’t know, but how else did you think I was still able to move my fingers?” Fit laughed, sitting up as well.
“Oh my god, I don’t know,” Pac groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m so dumb.”
“You’re not dumb, you’re fine,” Fit said, still laughing. “But yeah, it feels and functions like a normal hand. Just a lot stronger. And, obviously, not cosmetically the same.” He held his hand up between them, inspecting it. The metal prosthetic was a perfect replica of the arm he’d lost, but he wasn’t lying when he said it was infinitely stronger.
“Can I?” Pac asked, extending his own hand, and Fit nodded. Carefully, almost reverently, Pac grasped the tips of his fingers. “Can you feel this, then?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I can.” Pac slid his hand downwards, placing his thumb on his wrist close to where a pulse might have been, the rest of his fingers grazing the back of Fit’s hand.
“Can you feel this?”
“Yeah,” Fit repeated breathlessly. He stayed as still as possible, unsure what was happening, but terrified to break whatever spell had fallen over them.
The absolute last thing he expected was for Pac to press Fit’s palm against his cheek so he was cupping his face, looking up at him through long lashes with the softest eyes he’d ever seen.
“Can you feel this?” he asked. Fit froze, heart hammering in his chest.
“Yes,” he whispers, tracing his thumb across Pac’s cheek. Still holding his hand against his face, Pac turned to press a kiss into his palm. Fit’s mind was racing, watching in awe. Nobody had ever treated him this softly before, and he wasn’t entirely sure he deserved it, but there was no way he was going to mess this up.
“Can I kiss you?” Pac asked, just as quietly as everything else.
“Yes,” Fit managed to get out, hardly able to hear himself over the thundering in his veins. “You don’t have to though, I don’t want you to feel rushed, especially with everything that’s happened-”
He was interrupted by Pac surging forward to press soft lips against his own. His brain filled with static for a brief second, but Pac pulled away almost immediately. “Was that ok?”
Instead of answering, Fit brought his other hand up to cup his face from both sides and pulled him back into a fevered kiss. Pac’s hands immediately wound around his waist to pull him impossibly closer, and Fit’s mind went blissfully blank as his lips moved against his own. He slid his hand back to tangle in the hair at the base of Pac’s neck, and felt him sigh into the kiss.
They pulled away after a few moments longer, resting their foreheads together to catch their breath. It was a relatively chaste kiss by all accounts, but Fit’s face was burning and he was panting like he’d run a marathon.
Pac suddenly burst into a fit of giggles, covering his face and flopping back to lay facing the ceiling. Fit stared at him for a moment before also flopping down onto the bed and letting out an incredulous laugh, and it was like the dam broke. Once he started laughing, it was impossible to stop, and the more Pac giggled, the more he laughed. It was hard to not laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, both of them nervous and blushing like teenagers high off the adrenaline of their first kiss.
Pac’s giggles finally died down, and he turned his head to look over at Fit with a contented sigh. Fit thinks he looks beautiful like that, all giggly with his hair messed up, looking over at him with far too much affection. Pac sat up to turn off the lamp and he looked even prettier with just the glow from the aquarium, laying on his back facing the ceiling. Fit rolled onto his back to watch the shadows from the water dance across the ceiling before Pac could catch him staring again.
They’re quiet for a long while, long enough that Fit started to suspect he’d fallen asleep, when Pac broke the silence with another barely suppressed laugh.
“I can’t believe we just kissed in Mike’s bed,” he choked out between giggles. “He’s going to be so mad.” Fit can’t help but laugh too, both of them devolving back into laughter that faded sooner than the first time. Pac takes his hand that was laying on the bed between them and laces their fingers together.
“We’re going to find them,” Fit whispered, squeezing his hand. “All of them. No matter what.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” Pac whispered back.
“Of course,” he said, tracing his thumb over Pac’s knuckles. “I’ll watch over you until morning. Just get some sleep, okay?”
“Okay, thank you,” came the soft reply. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
If Fit fell asleep almost immediately, that was nobody’s business but his own.
And even if things weren’t ok right now, Fit was going to make damn sure it ended up ok.