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"If we hurry, we'll at least look a little professional!" shouted Kunikida, quickly sweeping the floor himself. An hour ago, the president informed them of a meeting with the Port Mafia. Since there was peace between the organizations, both bosses decided that it was worth tightening the relations of their employees a bit. After all, if they are going to work together, they must not kill each other first.
"Kenji move the desks! Kyouka and Atsushi, Clean Up the Hen! Ranpo, stop throwing candy wrappers on the floor!" shouted Kunikida, quickly brushing the dirt off the floor "AND DAZAI DO ANYTHING!"
"I think you're doing fine, Kunikida~!" he replied singingly while lying on the couch with headphones on one ear.
"YOU SUICIDAL MACHINE!" he growled, waving his broom at him. Dazai deftly dodged the blow by sitting on one of the desks.
"Come on, come on Kuni~! You're turning into a househen!" he commented, making his partner even redder with anger.
Atsushi was surprised how Kunikida hadn't started to exhale pride from his mouth and ears yet. He looked even angrier than before.
"I'LL GIVE YOU A HOUSEHEN NOW!" he shouted, immediately starting to chase after the brunette, trying to hit it with his broom. Dazai was obviously having a great time jumping from one desk to another.
"You're getting old!" Dazai snorted, smirking at his friend. He deftly dodged the cleaning weapon attacks by moving from one piece of furniture to another.
"Watch out for my sweets!" Ranpo snorted as Dazai jumped on his desk.
Hearing his words, a satanic smile appeared on Dazai's face. He bent down, grabbing a packet of candy, still standing on Ranpo's desk. The other called out in protest, but bandaged man ignored him.
"Oh Kunikida~!" he exclaimed, jumping to the next desk and twirling theatrically with an open packet of sweets "You don't want those sweet circles to spill all over the office, do you?"
"YOU DARE NOT!" Kunikida gasped.
"Oh, I dare!" he replied, swinging the package dangerously.
"IF YOU DO THIS, I Swear I WILL GIVE YOU THE MOST PAINFUL DEATH YOU CAN IMAGINE!" blond rolled up his sleeves, looking menacingly at his partner. It was obvious he wasn't joking.
Dazai merely smirked, giving him a confident look. And here was the catch. It's impossible for him to die. On the one hand, it's a curse, but in this situation, it's definitely a relief. Although it wasn't good for the suicide.
"Oooops~!" the detective threw the package, which, according to gravity, flew down. Kunikida had already seen in his mind's eye how a clean office turned into chaos again.
When suddenly the cat's paw grabbed the package at the last moment. Only one candy fell to the floor. Atsushi breathed a sigh of relief as he lay on the floor. Immediately his hand returned to human form, and he carefully stood up holding a packet of candy.
"My god, Atsushi! I've never been so happy before!" Kunikida sighed, rubbing his forehead with his arm. He exaggerated a bit with his words, but he couldn't call it otherwise "...AND. YOU."
Oh.
Dazai hit the floor as Kunikida jumped on him, pulling him off the desk in the process. They both landed on the ground as the blond pinned the other down. Kunikida was furious like never before, so he didn't pay attention to the looks of others. And Dazai, as usual, paid no attention to it.
"YOU WILL REGRET THIS TIME, DAZAI!" he said, squeezing his hands around the man's shirt collar.
"Ah Kuni, I didn't know you loved me that much~!" the other replied, taking advantage of the situation "But not like that in front of everyone! You'll embarrass me~!"
Brunet smiled maliciously when he saw his partner's twitching eyelid. I think he just made it to the border. He didn't "reach", rather he crushed this border.
"Just like with kids..." sighed Yosano, standing next to the Tanizaki siblings.
"I'm surprised Dazai still has full teeth" joked the redhead, seeing the two fighting colleagues.
However, Kunikida finally managed to say anything before his anger reached its apogee.
"YOU." he only mumbled, gripping his collar tighter and lifting his fist up. This time there was no way to ignore his words. There are no rules in the office for him to break them all the time.
But he didn't strike. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head, ready to yell at the person. The words stuck in his throat as he saw that the hand belonged to the president. He immediately sprang to his feet, straightening up. As if when Fukuzawa showed up, all the anger left him. Now he was ashamed that he had lowered himself to the level of a brunet.
"Sorry President... I guess I got too emotional" he mumbled, bowing stiffly.
"Possibly... But Dazai isn't without fault either" He sighed softly, glancing at the bandaged detective who had already got to his feet.
"It's not my fault that Kunikida can't joke!" he replied, and the blond man felt his fist clench again. He squeezed it with his other hand.
The older man sighed heavily as he saw what was happening. He felt as if instead of an agency, he was taking care of a special needs kindergarten... Even a kindergarten would be calmer. If Mori had a similar experience with the mafia, he didn't know if he needed compassion more. Even if he was part monster, caring for murderous children is worse than this.
"...Please come to an understanding" he finally said, looking from Kunikida to Dazai "You are partners. You are supposed to cover your back, not stab it yourself" his words sounded firm but protective at the same time. He didn't want cracks to appear in their agency. Or rather, for their family to disperse again. Even when there was peace, you never knew if someone more powerful than them all would arise. They had to be strong and support each other at the same time.
"...It's okay" Dazai mumbled reluctantly "Sorry Kunikida" It sounded more like a pouting child said it.
"...I accept the apology" the idealist said, crossing his arms over his chest. Now they really looked like quarreling preschoolers who didn't want to play tag together.
Ranpo snorted a quiet laugh seeing this situation. Sometimes he really wondered how it was possible that their agency was full of grown children.
"All right. Now let's get the rest of things ready" Fukuzawa said, turning to the others. He didn't see Dazai immediately sticking his tongue out at his partner who shook his fist at him "Remember we have a state of peace. And please, let there be no acts of aggression."
"Of course, President!" They replied in chorus, and Fukuzawa nodded his head. He hoped it would be like this.
════════
When the time was right, all the agencies stood in the middle of the office, waiting for a delegation from the port mafia to arrive. Perfectly on time, the door opened. Inside came the mafia executive - Nakahara Chuuya.
Dazai waved his hand cheerfully, and the redhead rolled his eyes. An annoying ex-partner as usual.
Chuuya moved over so the other members could go inside. Kouyou then entered, dressed elegantly and beautifully as usual. Behind him came Hirotsu, adjusting his monocle. Then Gin appeared, Akutagawa along with Higuchi. Mori was the last to enter, smiling all the time. Of course, Elise accompanied him.
Everyone was throwing wordless glances at each other, which meant only one thing - just do something and you won't get out of here alive. Fukuzawa sighed softly, standing in front of Mori. Both were aware of the hatred of their co-workers. Well, except maybe Dazai and Chuuya. Like the rest, they stood motionless for a moment, casting hateful glances at each other, and the next they were gossiping as if it were just the two of them.
"As usual, you idiot, you're wearing the wrong shirt with the wrong pants. When I look at it, it hurts" commented Chuuya.
"Aww, is the dog worried about his owner~?"
"I'm not dog, mackerel! At least I have a sense of style."
"You look like you're going to a funeral."
"Of course, on yours!" growled the redhead.
Finally, Mori cleared his throat, gaining both people's attention.
"I think it's time to go to the meeting room," Fukuzawa suggested, heading there first. Ranpo followed right behind him, followed by the rest.
════════
They all sat down at one big table. Again, facing each other. Which wasn't a good idea. Although there were snacks and a few other trinkets on the table, agencies and mobsters were throwing warning glances at each other. The atmosphere was one hundred percent tense.
"That's the way this meeting is going to go for nothing" Mori muttered, seeing only Elise sitting next to him eating cookies.
"I like it there!" replied the girl with a smile. Already the corners of her mouth were covered with chocolate.
Again, an ominous silence fell in the room, interrupted from time to time by Elise. Even Dazai had had enough of this silence. And it usually didn't bother him. He felt as if his two close organizations were about to kill each other. It had been like that before, but now they had the option not to. And it was easier to visit some people without having to sneak out.
"So... Hirotsu. I heard you have a new duty schedule for the Black Lizards" Dazai spoke up, drawing the attention of the mafia elder.
Reportedly, Dazai was quite good at getting people to know you. That's what he'd heard from old friends and foes alike. Not only as a Demon of Prodigy, he had persuasive words. Clerivan would surely agree with him.
"Oh... That's right."
"Probably detailed as usual, right?"
"Correct. After all, without a shedule, everything will go wrong" said the gentleman.
"How fitting that you said that!" Dazai replied with a smile "Kunikida has its own schedule too! He's holding onto it like a lifeline!"
Said blonde already had a sarcastic answer when he heard Hirotsu's words.
"Oh? It's good to know that there are still conscientious people among the youth."
"...Thank you" Kunikida mumbled, not knowing what to say. It's kind of weird to get such a compliment, but he noticed what Dazai was trying to do. Apparently this mummy still had some brains left "It's good to stick to your plan so you don't get caught by surprise"
"Of course" Hirotsu agreed.
Seeing Kunikida starting a casual conversation with Hirostu, the rest of the detectives instantly relaxed. It was the same with the members of the second organization. It took a while, but eventually some conversation started. Kyouka was finally able to talk to her old mentor. Atsushi started exchanging a few words with Akutagawa and Higuchi. Overall, everyone got along fine.
Fukuzawa breathed a quiet sigh of relief, seeing that the agency hadn't started any fight. Mori, on the other hand, nodded, seeing how his men kept their composure. Maybe something from this peace between organizations will come out.
"Akutagawa~! You must try some of this cake. It's delicious" Dazai said, handing the former student a plate of sweets. He managed to hear from Higuchi about the problem with normal food. He went through it himself until the agency started taking care of his nutrition. Time for him to take care of it. He knew that their relationship would not be easy to repair, but everything would be done in small steps.
Dazai wanted a figure so that this black flower would also come to light.
The black-haired man looked at Dazai, and then at the plate with the cake. Apparently he didn't know what to do. However, apparently the words of his former mentor convinced him to try the cake. He didn't even know how happy Higuchi made him. She was really happy to see her friend eat normally.
"...Sweet indeed" Akutagawa admitted softly, staring at the remaining piece of cake. Seeing the smile on the man's face, he ate the rest of the cake.
And so their meeting went as bottles of wine appeared on the table. Fukuzawa didn't even know where they came from. Although he had the impression that Dazai and Chuuya were behind it.
"I'll never give up a good wine" mumbled Yosano, laughing to herself. She had evidently already had a bit more of it.
"I totally agree" Kouyou said, sipping the liquor from her glass.
"Don't set a bad example for the children, Ane-san!~" commented Dazai, who had already drunk a glass himself "You don't want Kyouka to start drinking too, do you?"
"You've already occupied bars at her age" was all it took to make Chuuya roll his eyes.
"The fact that one bar went up in smoke is not our fault" the redhead stated, slightly waving his glass.
"The owner was a pain in the ass" Dazai agreed, resting his head on his hand.
"Dazai, behave yourself" Kunikida sighed as his partner had already finished another glass.
"But Kunikida~! Have a little drink! It's one of the best wines I remember drinking!" he replied defensively, handing the blonde a glass.
"You're impossible..."
"How have you not smashed a bottle on his empty head yet?" he asked Chuuya "The guy is more of a problem with the hyperactive kid!"
"He's more like that baby!"
"Like a child in a fog" they said at once, immediately looking at each other with total understanding and appreciation.
Dazai already regretted that they started talking to each other. He was immediately moved aside so that Chuuya could sit next to Kunikida. It didn't take long for both of them to embrace each other slightly drunk, whining at their (ex) partner.
"I totally understand you Nakahara! You can't with him!" muttered Kunikida, emptying his glass of wine.
"I'll kill myself before that idiot gets a brain!" added Chuuya fanning himself with his hat.
The man they were talking about was literally sitting in front of them. He stared at them in disbelief. To get so drunk...
Oh no...
No, no, no, no.
He found himself thinking... Like Kunikida. Something was wrong. The balance of the world has been disturbed.
"Are you okay Dazai?" Atsushi laughed seeing his mentor's paranoid expression.
"Yes Yes Yes. Just... Strange thoughts" he admitted, pouring himself the last of his wine. "Wouldn't you like some?"
"No thanks. I'd rather not drink..." muttered the weretiger. Seeing Kunikida getting drunk already, he felt responsible for the rest. Besides, it's funny to remember Kunikida talking to Chuuya as if they were typical school teenagers.
"We'll have to work out drinking together sometime. I have to take someone to the bar when Kunikida gets too serious" Dazai decided.
"Now you want to get others drunk, Dazai?" Hirotsu raised one eyebrow "You have to know how to drink and do it with style"
"...I'm sure your style won't let you drink the whole bottle."
"...is that a challenge?"
"What do you think?"
There was a murmur of amusement among the Mafia members. Although only those who did not have time to lay their hands on the wine listened.
"Bet" replied Hirotsu.
Dazai smiled in his typical way as he rode on the mafia elder's ambition. Now it was just fun.
"They're like a bunch of children" Fukuzawa sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. Even Ranpo was tempted to take a glass of wine. And then Chuuya talked him into another one.
"And you're telling me this? I feel like Elise has multiplied several times" said Mori.
"So you too? I thought I was the only father" he muttered, to which the black-haired man nodded. They may have been enemies, but they had one thing in common - the same difficulty in guarding a group of kids.
"I don't even have to look for anyone to have a big family already" joked Mori "Although you have one troublesome kid, I have another."
"I rather have a whole bunch."
In the midst of this little exchange, they didn't realize that those who hadn't drifted away from the alcohol, were staring in their direction.
"So..." Dazai spoke up, almost spilling the wine in his glass "...That's kinda gay"
And with that, he ended their meeting. Let's hope the next meeting doesn't end with alcohol and tomorrow's hangover.