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Suyin
The first to leave was her half sister Su.
Lin gently traced her fingers over the new jagged lines across her jaw, she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. Thanks to aunt Katara the throbbing pain in her jaw was no longer existent, yet every time she glanced at the scar a pit formed in her stomach. It physically ached to look at herself because all she could think was...
my sister did this to me.
A lump formed in her throat.
My sister scarred me and now mom is letting her get away with it. As always.
She shook her head.
No.
As much as she wanted blame them..As much as she wanted to scream and shout at Su and their mom. Deep down she knew who's fault it really was. Maybe if Lin had payed more attention, maybe if looked after Su better...Maybe if she was a better sister...Daughter. None of this would've happened.
She keeps thinking about the moment it happened. About how she could've handled the situation better.
Lieutenant Lin Beifong. An ace detective getting hit by her own fucking equipment. How embarrassing. Whether it was her sister or not, she should've stayed focused.
Suyin...She's just a..Kid. A stupid, annoying and bratty teenager who makes mistakes. But she's still Lin's little sister...
Shes still the 6 year old who used to climb into Lin's bed whenever she had a nightmare, shes still the 10 year old that used to follow her "badass big sister" everywhere.. The same sister who looked up to her.
Lin doesn't understand how it all changed.
Sure they never had a perfect relationship, but it wasn't always this bad. All they did was argue and fight, maybe Lin was too overbearing...To controlling..Maybe she acted to much like a mother than a sister. But she tried, she tried so fucking hard to be there for Su and it all just blew up in her face..Literally.
Long story short...Lin fucked up and now her sister is leaving the city..
Lin didn't know what she wanted to happen, but it certainly wasn't that.. She wanted Su to be punished, she wanted her to learn from her mistake and be better...She didn't want her in jail and nor did she want her sister to be banished.
Lin was awoken from a thoughts when she heard rustling echoing from Suyins room, she's probably packing her bags now.
She then glanced at the bag full of money (she withdrew from the bank earlier) and box full of Veggie spring rolls (Suyin's favourite snack) She sighed. Why was she doing this? After what Su did to her? Lin wanted to hate her, she wanted tell herself that Su meant nothing to her.. But no matter what Su was still her baby sister.....Lin still cared about her, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise. That's what hurt the most. The fact that no matter what Suyin did...Lin still cared about her. But as far as she knew Su hated her guts...And that hurt even more. Just thinking about it left an aching pain in her heart.
Lin took a shaky breath. No.
She can't let it bother her, Beifongs are strong...Suck it up Lin.
After composing herself Lin quickly grabbed the gifts and marched to Suyin's room.
She peered through the open door.
The sight before Lin broke her heart even more. There on the floor was Suyin ,eyes red and watery,sitting infront of a packed bag. She was holding something in her hands, Lin looked closer. They were small figures made out of meteorite...Oh...Her and Su made them when they were younger and still practising their metal bending. There were three figures in total each being a different sized badgermole: An adult badgermole, a young badgermole and a baby badgermole..
Lin pushed down all the emotions growing and knocked on the door.
Suyin quickly threw the figures in her bag and crossed her arms.
"What do you want now? You already got what you want, have you just come to rub it in? Yell at me some more?"Suyin spat
Lin rolled her eyes "No" She spoke firmly hiding the break in her voice.
I didn't want this. She wants to say it but the words don't come out.
Su finally looks up at her, confusion spreading across her face.
Lin throws the money and box of snacks next to Su.
"It's a long journey to Gaoling" Lin says "You're gonna get hungry"
Su studies Lin's face as if she thinks she's being played.
"And the money?"Su asked
"In case you run out of food on the way"Lin stated "Or spend it on what you want: clothes,food, jewellery or waste it..I don't fucking care, its yours"
It came out harsher then she meant it to.
A wave of surprise washed across Su's face.
"Really?"suspicion grew in her voice
Lin scoffed "Do you want me to take it back?"
"No.."Su's voice is nothing but a whisper "Thanks"
Su is still watching her but then Lin sees her eyes stop at her jaw.
Lin realises that her sister is now staring at the irregular scars on her face (still red and swollen a day later)
She notices the guilt in her eyes, it was the same look Su gave her after...it happened.
Lin clears her throat "Whatever"
"Just don't fuck this up too"She tells her
Just be careful.
Su frowned
"I'm not gonna be there to clean up your mess anymore neither is mom. Your'e all alone, I hope your happy I won't be a pain in you ass anymore...That's how you put it right?"Lin spoke bitterly
Don't do anything stupid...I still care about you
Lin's never been good at words, she can never say what she wants to in the moment...Its like they're stuck in her throat, choking her, begging her to open up and say what she needs to...to fix this. But she swallows them,pushes them down just so she can pretend she doesn't care.
"Yeah right"Su replied her voice breaking looking away from her sister.
Lin wanted to hug her then, apologise to her for being a shitty sister. But she couldn't, it felt as if she was glued to the doorway.
Lin crossed her arms.
"I-"Lin started
I....love you
Su turned back to Lin.
Lin looked into the green eyes that mirrored her own. It was like Su was pleading her...Begging her to tell her the truth.
Lin took a deep breath.
"I...think you train leaves soon, you should finish packing...I'll drive you"Lin informed Su.
Su rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Don't bother.I'll walk"She replied bitterly "Wouldn't want to bother you anymore right? Lieutenant Beifong"
Su quickly closed her bag, she looked up at her sister one more time.
"Well then...Don't miss it"Lin forced out.
I'll miss you
Su then pushed passed Lin "I'll try not to."
Lin didn't reply or look back at her as she left. She felt her sisters heavy footsteps echo through the stone floor and then the front door slams with a loud bang.
Her sister was gone.
30 Years later
Republic City
Lin gently leaned against the balcony,a cool breeze gliding through her hair as she watched the stars silently. Echoes of laughter and immersed conversations arose from the building behind her. She should be in there, celebrating the first air bender master ceremony in over 30 years. The youngest at that. Dare she say but Lin was proud of Jinora, oddly enough over the last year she has grown quite fond of the young girl. Deep down she knew it was because Jinora reminded her so much of Aang in both looks and personality, she knew if he was still alive Aang would be immensely proud of her too.
Lin let out a sigh.
Parties weren't really her thing. Too much people. Too much noise.
So as much as she wanted to congratulate the young air bender, she just couldn't bare the overcrowded building. Tenzin seemed to understand as he gave her a knowing look as he watched her slip away from the celebration. He always knew her better than most.
Besides it didn't really feel like an appropriate time to celebrate. So much has happened in the last few days, so many people nearly die (herself included) and Korra...That poor girl has gone through so much in the last year and now this? Lins heart ached for the young avatar. They didn't get along at first, butted heads constantly. Partly because she saw parts of herself she didn't like in Korra, it didn't help that her recklessness also brought up bad memories of Su. Then also the fact seeing Korra was a constant reminder that Aang was gone.. Korra wasn't Aang, they are polar opposites..But Lin would be lying if she said she hasn't grown to like the new avatar. Korra has grown a lot and so has their relationship. They've both grown to have a mutual respect and have saved each others asses on multiple occasions. If only Lin could've saved her this time..
It just felt wrong to pretend everything is fine, like its disrespectful to Korra. Lin knew that wasn't true though,Korra sacrificed herself for the future of the air nation. Jinora's ceremony was in honour of that sacrifice. Yet still Lin couldn't bring herself to do it anyways.
She felt someone approaching behind her. The vibrations in the earth below her felt familiar, she didn't have to focus to recognise the soft beat of her younger sister heart along with her up beat walk.
Lin frowned.
Su was the last person she wanted to see right now. She just wanted to be alone, to have some peace and quiet. Suyin was neither of those things.
The reconciliation between her and Su was rushed,a quick patch up over old wounds that have yet to heal. Lin doesn't hate her sister (She never really did) but there's still so much unspoken tension and history between them. Part of her wants to pretend they don't exist and just move on like nothing happened. But Lin knows she won't be able to do that as it will lead to her blowing up at Su. The last thing she wants is another 30 year separation, at their age it might as well be forever. The thought lingers in her mind, she missed so much of her little sisters life: a wedding, the births of her niblings , birthdays and so on. She doesn't want to miss anymore of it, they don't have the time.
Su stood next to her her gaze following Lin's.
"Never was one for parties were you?"Su spoke
Lin glances at her sister.
"That's an understatement"Lin replied dryly
Suyin let out a soft chuckle
"It just hit me that soon enough Opal will have a ceremony like this. I'm gonna have to come around to the idea of my little girl with a shaved head an tattoos"Su laughed "Though she isn't really little anymore"
"She's a naturally gifted air bender, I wouldn't be surprised if she became a master in the next few years"Lin spoke softly
She only knew her niece for less than a month, but she already had a soft spot for her.
"I can only imagine what mom will say about having an airbender as a granddaughter"Su replied
"I know Aang would never let her live it down..If he was here"Lin spoke
She could imagine the scene before her, Aang smugly commenting how Toph has a "Twinkletoes in her family"
She never understood their odd friendship, one minute Toph was downright bullying him the next the two were laughing and joking together. They were complete opposites and yet had an extreme loyalty for each other. Almost as if they were siblings.
Su sighed, her smile slowly faltering. Bringing up Aang wasn't an easy thing, Lin was honestly surprised she did it and with Su of all people. Aang was...He made a big impression on their lives as he did with everyone. Growing up Lin and Su would speculate who their fathers were or who they wanted their fathers to be. The members of the Gaang were their main ones. They never knew their real fathers and honestly despite wanting to know who they were, they didn't need their dads. They had their mom and the whole of team avatar with them. Zuko and Sokka were always there but...
Aang was...different. When he wasn't doing avatar or air bender business he was in Republic city or more specific air temple island. Lin and Su practically grew up on air temple island as Katara and Aang looked after them if their mom was busy (so all of the time) Su would run around, pulling pranks with Bumi and Kya (Lin was a casualty of them 99% of the time) whereas Lin preferred peace and quiet, and spent mosr pf her time her room or playing pai sho with Tenzin. She remembers her and Su cooking and baking with Katara, sparring with Kya and sometimes Aang woukd meditate with them or take the flying with Appa... It was like having a second family.
"He would be proud of Jinora and Korra"Suyin replied
Lin silently nodded.
Suyin took that as a hint that Lin didn't want to talk about Aang right now.
An awkward silence remained. What do you say to your sister after 30 years of silence?
"So why are you out here?"Lin asked
"I needed some fresh air"She responded "Same as you I presume?"
Lin hummed in agreement
"I also..came to say goodbye"Su spoke
Lin raised an eyebrow
"I have to go back to Zaofu with Bataar and the kids. My airship leaves tomorrow morning, I wouldn't of had time to say goodbye to you and Opal then"Her sister explained
"Oh"Lin simply replied "Wait Opal isn't coming?"
"No, I don't want to get in the way of her training by dragging her with me. Even if I want her home, it would be selfish of me ti ignore what she wants"Suyin told her
"I'm sure the girl could use time with her family after everything that's happened"Lin didn't mean it to sound so harsh
"Trust me I'll be sending her letters and radio air temple island every week and visit when I can"Su didn't seem to mind though
"So she's training on air temple island now?"Lin asked
"With the northern air temple wrecked, Tenzin decided to resume the air benders training here" Su explained "And I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?"
"You want me to keep an eye on her?"Lin guessed
Su nodded " I know i'm in no place to ask anything of you, but your right Opal shouldn't be alone...I think she would feel a lot better if she had someone like her aunt to talk to"
"I'm not much of a talker Su"Lin responded
"Well neither is Opal, she's more mellower and quieter than the boys. Prefers to read quietly rather than running around. She gets it from her father"Suyin explained
"Well she certainty doesn't get it from you"Lin remarked
Suyin let out a soft laugh "Yeah the two of you will get along just fine, if you give her the chance.She already looks up to you"
"Of course Su"Lin smiled "My door is always open for her if she needs it"
"Thank you Lin, I owe you...Well on more than one occasion"Su replied softly
Lin waved her hand dismissively
"You're family, you don't owe me anything"She replied
Su looked up at her older sister in shock.
A smile slowly plastered her face"I'm so glad to have you back in my life Lin"
"Likewise"Lin simply said
She cursed herself...Dammit Lin why can't you just have an emotional conversation for once.
"Just know if you ever need a break, you're always welcome in Zaofu"Su told her
"And so are you in Republic city"She responded
Suyin smiled up at her older sister.
Another silence hung in the air but this time it was comfortable.
"Can we stay in contact? I don't want to go back home and never talk to you again unless the world is in danger...I miss talking to my amazing big sister"Su asked
Lin scanned her sister, she noticed the sad expression on her face. It reminded her of the face Suyin made after having a nightmare and running to Lin's bed for comfort.
Lin took a deep breath and relented.
"Of course...I'll try to stay in touched...I missed you too"Lin was cut off with a swift hug from her little sister.
Su was always more of a hugger than her.
"I love you Lin. Thank you for giving me a second chance....Even if I didn't deserve it"
"I.."
Lin slowly wrapped her arms around Su and melted into the embrace
She didn't need to hide what she wanted to say anymore...
"I love you too Su"She finally let out as the words no longer suffocated her.
Nothing held her back this time.
The embrace continued for what felt like hours, but Lin couldn't complain. Part of her needed this hug, needed that reminder that her sister was back. Maybe they still had more to speak about, but that didn't matter to Lin anymore. She had a family again, people who needed her. Su needed her.
For the first time in years she felt loved...Wanted.