Archive of Our Own ^beta

Fist slamming into metal a dull thud punctuated his anger. Randy’s knuckles burned as he pressed his fist into the cold metal of the Inn’s basement wall. An emptiness stretched his heart thin. A feeling of anger at himself that mingled with loneliness. For several days he had been stranded in this backwater of a village powerless to do anything save for witnessing history repeat itself.

First, his friend from when he was in the Red Constellation, then Lloyd and now Mireille. Each one snatched away from him like chips in a game of poker. All a strategy of villains wanting to crush his spirit. And by Aidios their strategy was working. Too damn well.

Deep down he wanted Lloyd to be alive. No, he knew that Lloyd was out there somewhere. But until he saw those fiery eyes and that burning soul of his Randy had no guarantee. Self-loathing consuming him Randy feared that his own failure had killed two of his closest friends.

Despair really was a bitch. A fickle ex who came back at the worst time possible. Another swing of his fist, another crack of pain. As blood trickled in a stream through his dark red knuckles he clutched his head in his hand and screamed at an unjust world. For as much as the SSS had sought justice in reality it was all a lie. The biggest lie the world ever sold anyone.

“Randy?” A soft voice spoke like a moth fluttering in the lamplight.

Body tightened like a coiled spring he swung to face whoever called his name. Standing there was a soft-faced man with a gentle smile whose calm waves of purple hair washed over his head. Harold Hayworth. A familiar face but not one Randy had expected to see.

“Harold?”

“Shall we get a drink? It’s on me.”

Like an elastic band let loose, Randy's conscience snapped back to reality. That simple question snared him to the present. With blood still fresh on his hand his rough voice wavered. “S-sure. I’ll clean up my hand first.” He said.

“Man, talk about coincidences. The fact that you all ended up here after the shit that went down in the city is crazy. Thanks for the drink by the way.” With a swig he downed the rest of his beer, the hint of bitterness accompanied by the lifting of a weight from his mind.

“You’re welcome. And I’m sorry to hear about Mireille. If I could communicate with my contacts I would try to get some medical supplies here. Unfortunately, all we can do is wait.”

Restlessly Randy tapped a leather booted foot on the metal floor. A dim metallic clang resonated at his feet slowly building in tempo. On realising how his worries were building up Randy pushed his foot firmly into the floor and drained the dregs from his glass. Not enough to drink. There was never enough.

He had told Harold about what had happened with Mireille and how she had taken several bullets defending the villagers. A worthy cause, certainly. And part of her duty as a lieutenant of the CGF. But why her? Why not someone else, someone more deserving?

No. He should not be thinking like that. If only Lloyd were here. He would slap some sense into him, tell him that his anger was misdirected. Randy barked a laugh letting it roll into a thundering chorus that shook his chest. After a few moments he sharply cut off the laughter when he noticed Harold tense, the edges of his eyes folding in apparent concern.

“I imagine you’re angry at yourself for not being able to defend her, right?”

“Read me like a book, pal.” Randy smirked. “And rather than do something productive I’m here shooting shit with you. No offence.”

“None taken.” He smiled. Randy swore there was almost nothing that would make this guy angry. Jealousy cut his heart like a blade. If only he could control his emotions like that. It would save him from losing control and from showing his weakness.

“It’s a feeling I’m familiar with too.” Harold continued. Smile tightening into a shallow frown, his eyes wandered elsewhere.

“Renny?”

“How did you know that name?”

“Oh, I just give people nicknames. Force of habit. Tio Tot, KeDo, Towee, Macchiato. They just sort of come out of nowhere, y’know.” Randy felt his face redden. Now he said it out loud it did seem a little silly. But he only gave nicknames to those he cared about, people who had given meaning to his once meaningless life. It was his peculiar way of showing gratitude.

“I see. But you’re right, it’s about her. When we first lost her I was so angry at myself I couldn’t stand it. It was my decision to send her to the orphanage, my decision to cut her out from our life. Even after she came back to us I was furious at myself for not trying to find her in all those years. In the end all staying angry at myself did was stop me from acting, from looking out for those I cared for most. And that was the most painful realisation of all.”

There was truth in that. Something a little too close for comfort. Similarities were there but whilst Harold was forced to inaction Randy instead took on the world by himself. Just like at Mainz two years ago when Crossbell city burned.

“Don’t let your anger blind you into making foolish mistakes like I did, Randy. I’ve seen what you and the SSS can do. You even brought back mine and Sophia’s daughter who we thought we would never see again. So for Mireille’s sake if no one else’s let us all lend you a hand to get through this chaos.”

“I can drink to that.” With a wave of his hand he motioned to Noma to bring over a couple more beers. “Y’know Harold. I don’t think we’ve spoken like this before. Man to man, I mean. And we haven’t had a drink together. I imagine your Sophia wouldn’t take too kindly to us spending all our free time as drinking buddies, eh?” The pair shared a laugh at that, Randy’s laughter booming over the muffled chuckle of Harold’s. “You’re a good guy and a good father. You keep Sophie and Colin safe, y’hear? If you don’t I’ll make sure you will.”

A half crescent smile rose across Harold’s face. “I’ll hold you to that. Now, you go and look for your friends. When the SSS are back together no one will stop you from saving Mireille. Not even Aidios herself.”

When Randy heard rumours of two lone soldiers carving their way through the EDF line his heart ached for it to be true. That his closest friend, and stalwart partner, was here to save him from the anger that ate at the fibres of his very being.

Despite being a simple detective Lloyd Bannings would always overcome any barrier in his way, no matter its height.

And when he asked if Randy would help save the CGF of course he would say yes. Anything to help old friends. Anything to get Mireille back from the jaws of death.

Lanterns flickered like wisps caged in their metal frames. Eyes adjusting from the harsh midday sun Randy made out the silhouette of a short, slim woman clad in a coat as green as wind sepith. Aeolia greeted him with a wide smile as he walked down the dim corridors of Dir Ziegel. Shooting her a toothy grin he walked past. She was cute for sure, a white haired doll. But no one held a candle to the girl who stole his heart all those years ago. Back when he was a lost pup running from his old master.

Door cold against his calloused hands he paused before opening it. With a deep breath he crossed the threshold and into the dingy room. On a bed pushed up against the wall was a face Randy knew too well. One that made his anger soften and his lips tighten into a smile. Eyes of forest green shifted to look at him as Mireille tucked her waves of blonde hair behind her head. In a slow, jerking motion Mireille tried to get out of the bed. Clutching at her stomach she sank back into the pillows, red cheeks absorbed by a sea of white.

In an instant Randy rushed to Mireille's side. Taking her small hands in his own he clasped them tightly as they burned with the warmth of a roaring fire.

"Mireille! You should be resting!"

Gently a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Randy… It's good to see you. Is everyone okay? You haven't been slacking off… Have you?" She laughed weakly, as if the sound could be snuffed out as easily as a candle.

“Of course not. Given how much work it was to save you I’ve had no chance to rest. ‘Sides, Lloyd would have given me an earful.”

Mireille giggled, light as a feather.

Quietly the two sat together, hands resting in one another’s. Randy let himself enjoy the peace after days of shouts and gunfire. The rattle of explosives in his bones still lingered, an echo of a week of non-stop fighting. And then there was the Dusken Dancer, or whatever batshit name Rufus had given to Ilya. In the past Randy remembered often remarking on Ilya’s appearance and giving Lloyd an earful for getting so close to her. From knowing her for some years he could tell she was tougher than most Jaegers. Doubly so given how quickly she recovered from that little shit Shirley’s carnage. The sight of Crossbell burning over the mountaintops haunted him even now, the flames dancing on the stage of his mind. And, yet again, Crossbell was perched on the precipice of chaos. That was unless the SSS had something to say about it. It was one final barrier for them to overcome.

Lloyd’s cheesy speeches were rubbing off on him. Randy stifled a laugh. He had been somewhat surprised that he and Lloyd were close as family given their backgrounds. Despite seeing himself as the older brother he could not help but admire Lloyd. That unwavering ability to face anything head on. As fierce as a Jaeger, yet caring as a brother.

Then there was Mireille whose gaze was drifting to the far corner of the room. Bags of dark purple hung from her eyes, creases like ten mira bills folding the corners. Despite it all she held her face high and cupped a smile in her full lips. Even now in her vulnerable state there was a peaceful beauty to her unlike anything Randy had ever seen. Every time he saw her his heart ran away with his emotions, threatening to thrust them into the open. Yet, even when she was vulnerable like this Randy still felt a wall between them. One he could neither climb over nor shatter. For all his martial might and being a self-professed ‘lady’s man’ he was hopeless when it came to relationships like this. Lloyd did it so effortlessly. So much so that Randy had sometimes questioned his own preferences.

Sometimes though it was best to speak from the heart. All his friends had taught him that. Little Tio Tot especially. That memory of them all huddled around a hospital bed in St Ursula warmed his heart. She was an admirable girl, someone who had taught him a thing or two.

Taught him that there was no point in hiding feelings behind brick walls of emotion.

“Hey, Mireille. How you holdin’ up? Doc Seiland been treating you right?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. She has been excellent.” Eyes narrowing Mireille tightened the vice of her glare around Randy. “You’re trying something aren’t you Randy? Up to your usual schemes?”

“Maybe.” He laughed, halting abruptly as he composed himself. “Seriously though, Mireille. I was so afraid of losing you. So many times you’ve been close to biting it. So close to being sent to meet the boss upstairs. But every time you’ve scraped through. Damn near gave me a heart attack each time. So for my sake if no one else’s please look out for yourself if I’m not around to help you. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

Cheeks flushed deep red Mireille turned her head away. Meanwhile her hands still clasped Randy’s tightly showing no signs of letting go.

“Because Mireille, I-”

“You’re such a sap Randy. You do realise it’s my duty as a member of the CGF to protect the citizens of Crossbell? It’s in my job description. I can’t slack off just because a fawning, cute, red haired lover boy tells me to. Wait, I meant-”

“Oh? Could you repeat that last bit Mirelle? Just so I can hear it again.”

“No! You goof.” She slapped him on the back of the hand. Despite her weakened state it still stung. Pins and needles spiking his hand a faint red mark blotted his skin.

“Ouch. Way to knock a man when he’s down.”

Randy’s next words stopped in his throat. He and Mireille had beaten around the bush for a long time. Honestly, he was tired of the games. Emotions had been pulled like puppets on strings for so long. The SSS had helped him open up about his past. Fighting Sigmund and Shirley had let him carve a path beyond being defined as the son of the War God. Now there was one last thing to get off his chest before he could finally be free and burn away the guilt that he had held for too damn long.

So, with a deep breath and a shaking voice, Randy began to speak.

“Mireille. You mean the world to me. When you were drugged during the cult incident, then with the chaos of the Azure Tree and the Great War, I was terrified of losing you. Every time I fought it was to let us all see a new tomorrow. To see that precious smile of yours again. If I lost that then, well… I’m not sure how I’d keep on going. Even with Lloyd, Tio Tot and Elie I would still feel like there was a hole in my heart.” Dampness formed at the tips of his eyes as he wiped the burgeoning tears away. If he cried in front of Mireille like this he would never live it down.

“Oh, Randy.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “You know, that date you took me on before the signing ceremony was one of the sweetest things you’ve done. If you ever were to take a breather, to leave your life of constant fighting… Well, perhaps I’d find myself in a position to have a leave of absence from the CGF. I’m sure Commander Baelz would understand.”

“Given how her and Sergei’s relationship went she seems like the kinda gal to work non-stop. We might have to sneak you out of Bellguard gate when she’s not looking. Get over to Erebonia or Remferia. Perhaps even Liberl. I’m sure Estelle and Joshua know lots of good spots over there.”

“Or you could rejoin the CGF. Like old times.”

“Like old times. If the Commander would even have a washed up dropout like me.”

At this Mireille found an unknown source of energy. Pushing herself upright she pushed the thick covers of the bed away as one clears a drift of snow. Her eyes glimmered like shining poms as her grip squeezed Randy’s wrists as tight as handcuffs. “Of course she would. If you talked to her I’m sure she’d let you back in.”

The words Randy wanted to say burned on his tongue. Yet, seeing Mireille so excited and full of life made him hesitate. He was used to letting people down. Be that failing to succeed his father as the War God or failing to be there for his friends when they needed him most. And now he was about to let the person he loved have her dreams crushed. This was the way of the battlefield, Randy supposed. The reality always involved loss in some form. Besides, she would be safer away from him and all the trouble the SSS invited. If he kept his distance, then maybe-

“I already know you’re going to say no Randy. So just spit it out already.”

“Mireille?”

“Pfft, I can read you as easily as a book you dolt. We’ve known each other long enough for that. That’s why.” Faster than Randy’s reactions could register Mireille grasped the back of his head and leaned in close. Lips caressing his own Randy could not help but return her embrace. In that moment time stopped, his perception of it wiped clean from the slate of his mind. All he knew was the pressure from those full, sweet lips as the two shared something only lovers could.

Every time he had been with some woman, every time he had caught his gaze wandering, it had always felt hollow. Like a Jaeger blindly following the orders of a superior. That emptiness had clung to him like a leech ever since he left the corps.

Now, when Mireille kissed him, he felt those walls he had put up shatter under the weight of his emotions. Despite the smell of her sweat and her hair matting his face Randy felt happiness of a kind he had never experienced before. He felt admiration and trust towards Lloyd. As for Tio and Elie they were both dear friends. People who he could be a rock to, to help them stand up tall against any adversary. What he felt now he had no words for. All he knew in the moment were the tears that spattered his reddening face. It was a moment of warmth everlasting. One that opened his eyes to a world which had blinded him for far too long.

“Randy and Mireille sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-”.

Blushing red as a tomartian Randy tried his best to keep his cool. He failed. Miserably. “Tio Tot! What have I said about singing that?”

“I for one enjoy it. Your reaction especially, sweetie.” Mireille chirped.

“Who are you calling-”

“Ooh. Gone beyond first name terms have we? What am I to do with a lover bird like you Randy.” Tio taunted, a grin curling her lips. Zeit opened a single crimson eye. Pupil shifting from one person to another he seemed to inspect each of the people sitting around the table of the SSS building. That was the extent of the wolf’s contribution. The wisdom he had as a divine beast likely told him to stay out of this.

“I’m not sure what we should do, Tio. I reckon we can tease him a little more.” Mireille gave Randy a quick kiss on the cheek. His reactions were too slow. Devoid of any fighting, having been out of action since the reclaiming of Crossbell, had left him at a loose end. Randy felt he might have to go and whip the CGF back into shape again. After all, it had been a while since that had been given a good training session.

“So, Randy.” Lloyd interrupted. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. I guess I am. All thanks to this lovely lady here.” It was his turn to throw Mireille some affection. As both of them blushed their bright red skin closed in on the colour of Randy’s hair. “Let’s hope one day we can take a longer breather when our work is done.”

“You’ll have earned it, Randy.” Lloyd smiled and patted his friend firmly on the shoulder. “Even if I don’t have you to tell me when I lose my way I’ve learned enough from you to keep myself firmly focused on where I’m going. We are the SSS in name, but we are only human underneath it all. And without the support from everyone in Crossbell and from our friends across Zemuria we would not be where we are today.”

Pushing back a strand of blue hair Tio showed her face whose creases slowly unfolded. “He’s still got it. If you don’t have Lloyd as your best man at your wedding Randy you are making a calculated mistake.”

“That is true. You up for it, Lloyd?”

“Me? Best man?” He laughed, flashing white teeth as he rubbed the back of his head. The way he did when he was embarrassed. “I suppose I could. Though I’m not sure I would live up to your expectations.”

Droplets on a still lake of sound Elie’s voice gently entered the conversation. “I am certain you would Lloyd. After all, Grandfather has often remarked on your aptitude for public speaking.”

“Oh I’m sure he’s just being nice.”

The chatter bubbled away, warming the atmosphere of the room. As food and stories passed between all their lips Randy felt like he had been liberated from his chains. Now there was no holding back, no giving half measures. With the SSS at his back and Mireille at his side he felt that nothing in the world could stop him. Save, perhaps, the end of Zemuria itself.

Then, as day turned to night, Randy found himself atop the SSS building staring out over the darkening landscape of Crossbell. Moonlight shimmered on the water of the harbour as the entertainment district lit up like a festive tree in the winter season. He wondered what Drake was doing now that his best customer was no longer visiting. Probably debating to sell Berserker, the monster he kept in a case under the bar. Randy had no need for it any longer. Not after Crossbell’s independence.

A hand grabbed his own from his side. Eyes avoiding his own Mireille had her head turned away, blonde hair masking her face in a thick blanket. The more she stared away the more Randy’s hand was crushed in her vice. “You okay there? Mirri?”

“You’ve never called me a nickname before.” She muttered, the hum of the city nearly suffocating her words.

“I guess not. It’s alright, isn’t it?”

Bashfully, she gave a shallow nod. “Mhm. I love it.”

“I suppose I never called you it because I never wanted to let you get too close, y’know? If I had given you some nickname that would have been me admitting there was something between us. Here was me thinking I was protecting you by keeping you at a distance when all I did was hurt you and me both. I really was dumb huh?” A bark of laughter shot like a bullet into the night, fading over the rooftops of Crossbell city.

“You were, you goofball. But that’s why I love you. You will do anything it takes to protect those you love. No matter the cost.”

“I guess that part of me will never change.”

“I hope for both our sakes it doesn’t.” Feeling a tug at his waist Mireille pulled him round with surprising strength. Both facing one another Mireille grasped Randy’s gaze with a glint in her eye. “I’m glad we could open up to one another Randy. And I hope it stays that way. Even if we have to be apart for a while I’ll find a way to see you. Despite my commitment to the CGF and the commander. We’ll both protect Crossbell, the place we love, in our own ways. But together, with our hearts as one. As partners.”

From his jacket pocket Randy produced a dark brown bottle whose worn writing belied its age. It was half empty, the liquid swelling in waves within the container. Then, from another pocket, materialised a pair of shot glasses. Crystal glinting from the light of the city he placed the glasses carefully on the balcony. With the precision of a seasoned veteran he poured the rum into each.

“A toast.” He said as he handed one of the glasses to Mireille. “Our first, as partners.”

Downing hers in one deep gulp Mireille smacked her lips. A short, sharp breath left her lips cutting through the air like a knife. As she held her glass skyward she swayed on her feet. “To protecting Crossbell!”

Randy raised his glass, the two mirroring one another. Both in their posture and in the smiles that began to swallow their faces whole.

Paws padding silently on dark stone Coppe stood next to them, green eyes scrutinising the scenery below. Perhaps, Coppe thought, with people like these around I might be out of a job.