Work Text:
“I love you, Nadie.”
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What if she said it when they were once again spending the night under the stars? They’d sit in front of a campfire, huddled together for what Nadie called warmth but they both knew she was a liar. She’d wrap her up in her poncho as the fire dwindled, and gesture for her to go in the car while she put it out properly. Ellis would smile at her sweetly from the backseat and open up the poncho, would lean her head on her shoulder when she sits down. They’d repeated the familiar routine so many times, but that time it would be broken by four words, and she wouldn’t mind it.
Or what if it was during the day, when they were driving? Nadie wouldn’t like that, it would throw off her focus and she’d swerve around, just barely avoiding driving their car off the road. She’d stop the car, fully intent on lecturing Ellis about the dangers of distracting car drivers, and get thrown for a loop when she’s stopped by a kiss. Would Ellis really be daring enough for that? Definitely.
What if it happened when they were splurging on a rare stay at a hotel? Nadie would be tired enough to sleep on the bed instead of taking her usual spot on a chair, and they’d lay there, freshly showered in clean sheets, talking about nothing and everything. She’d hold her hand, unclear which of them made the first movement, and maybe then she’d say it.
What if she confessed right after they’d argued and made up? They’d be hugging it out, letting the embrace wash away any lingering doubts, and that’s when she’d say it. Nadie would be shocked, emotions still a little raw, but she’d smile into her hair, quietly letting her know her answer.
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It was cruel, Nadie decided, for her brain to offer up all of these scenarios when they would never come to be. This really wasn’t what she had in mind when she first took the call that offered her the job that led to this.
What if Nadie had saved herself all the trouble from the start by never answering the phone? What if she’d never gotten attached at all by listening to the protagonist of that cheesy shooter show they always watched, taking the money and running away from all of it when offered?
She would’ve never gotten a taste of what this was like, to care for someone so much and be loved right back. Ellis changed her life, changed her, for good. She’d repeat it all, with only one regret right at the end.
“Ellis…” she whispered, letting the tears fall. Knowing what she had to do next, it was no use trying to hold them back; she wouldn’t be able to even if she wanted to.
Nadie closed her eyes tightly, unwilling to see what was to come, and pulled the trigger.