Work Text:
In a forest somewhere.
❤️: Hey guys! Check this out!
💗: What is it?
💚: I swear if it's another boring rock that happens to be a bit larger than normal-
💚: EW! GROSS! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!
💙: Looks like a dead body.
*pokes dead body with a stick*
❤️: It is a dead body.
*also pokes dead body with a stick*
💗: *excited squeal*
A dead body?!
💚: Why are you excited about a dead body?! It is gross and disgusting. Let's leave it and pretend we never saw it. *already walking away*
💙: *drags 💚 back*
Awww but that's not fun. *attempts to put his bro in a headlock*
💚: *trying to keep his distance from the gross stick still in his bro's hand*
💗: I wonder how they died...
❤️: Probably a bear; judging from the claw marks.
💙: A bear? That's so cliche, Hubert. I say a big bird. A big pirate bird with laser guns.
*gave up on the headlock but successfully messed up his bro's hair*
💚: *tryna fix his hair*
❤️: *ignores 💙*
Yup! Poor guy seems to have been mauled by a bear.
💙: Excuse me?! I thought we established this was the doing of a big pirate bird with laser guns?!
💗: *sparkle in her eyes*
I wanna know what being mauled by a bear feels like!
💚: Webby, no. That's dangerous. You could die.
❤️: There's actually a nice chance she'd survive.
💙: BIG. PIRATE. BIRD. WITH. LASER. GUNS. Anyway, don't fear lil bro! We can totally defeat a bear and a big bird with laser guns.
*runs hand through hair dramatically*
💚: No.
*slaps the back of 💙's head*
💚: Guys let's just leave, please. The dead body stinks.
❤️: Of course it stinks! The trapped gases are beginning to build up... *more details*
💚: *promptly takes a huze™*
❤️: ...And that's why it stinks. *realizes 💚 napping and slaps him*
💚: Huh- what?
❤️: *glare*
❤️: *about to give a lecture but something's wrong here...*
...Hey wait a minute. Where's Webby and Dewey?
💗: *swinging in a vine*
WHOO-HOOO! I'M GONNA GET MAULED BY A BEAR!
💙: *also swinging in a vine*
AND I'M GONNA DEFEAT A BIG PIRATE BIRD WITH A LASER GUN!
❤️: WAIT! GUYS, NO!
*glares at 💚 while grabbing a vine*
❤️: This is all your fault!
*swings on the vine and catches up with the other two*
💚: What did I do?!
*grabs vine and tries to catch up with his siblings*
Much much later. The four of 'em are now out of the forest. They're back at the mansion now. The living room to be more specific.
💗: I didn't get mauled by a bear.
*sad webby*
💙: I didn't defeat the big pirate bird with laser guns.
*sad dewey*
❤️: *mutters*
Probably 'cause there isn't a big bird with laser guns nearby
💙: *slaps ❤️*
❤️: *glares at 💙 but continues reading what he was reading*
💚: *sips the first sip of Pep*
💚: *offers the rest of the Pep to 💗*
💗: *sips the Pep*
💚: *turns on tv and guess what? it's ottoman empire on*
💙: *sighs and just grabs snacks for everybody*
💚: *slaps book outta ❤️'s hands*
❤️: Hey-!
💙: *yeets snack directly at ❤️'s face*
❤️: *angry huey*
💗: *pats angry huey on the back*
Everyone settled on the couch; all sprawled one way or another. They just watched TV until it was time to sleep. The next day, no one remembered the dead body.
The next day features dart guns. Uh-oh.
*screams of terror followed by evil laughter*