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“Where is Stark and Banner?” Fury questions, his voice tired and strained. He expects this kind of flippant lateness from Stark, but Banner? He had a good head on his shoulders when he isn’t a violent green monster. It was only a matter of time before Stark corrupted him.
“In their little club house.” Natasha explains with an eye roll. “The two had locked themselves away for the past week doing whatever super geniuses do when they have play dates.”
“Do you want me to get them Sir?” Steve asks in his most dutiful of leaders voice. It has nothing to do with the fact that he hasn’t seen Tony in six days or anything. Nope, he’s just an honorable super solider is all.
“Would you? Lord knows what kind of mayhem Stark is imposing on Bruce.” Fury sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Just as Steve moves to leave, the door busts open. Tony and Bruce, covered in a blue powder strolled, into the room casually.
“Hello hello.” Tony greets. “ How’s everyone? Pardon our tardiness.” He’s white and red shirt is covered in the thick powder, it is in his goatee, and rims his arc reactor.
“Stark! What is this that you are bringing into the room?” The director snaps.
“Sorry sir, that’s my fault. Nothing deadly, in it’s solid state at least. Just some crystallized star dust. Nothing too bad.” Bruce remarks, dusting off his curly hair. His glasses are covered in the apparent star dust.
“Star dust? Like, from space?” Clint asks in all honesty, rubbing the small powdery rocks between his fingers. Tony and Bruce erupt in giggles.
“He thinks i-it’s actual star dust.” Tony heaves between laughs. Bruce puts his head down to muffle his laugh.
“Yes Clint,” he moans lightly. “We went to outer space and got star dust!” The sharpshooter slouches, pouting.
“No need to get snarky…” He mutters as he glares at the two.
“Back in Asgard, star dust is used to make beautiful art, this does not look like the star dust at home.” Thor says, more to himself then to the group.
“If we are finished joking around here, I’d like to get a meeting started.” Fury seethes. Tony smirks and leans back into his chair.
“Of course, go on please.” Bruce giggles into his hand like a middle school girl.
~
Tony sears the a piece of glass like uranium into a large vat of boiling purple sludge. The two scientist are wearing gas masks and industrial gloves as causally as one would wear a pair of sneakers. Bruce pulls up images of the substances atomic make up, examining the structure for faults or defects. It had to be perfect, it would be perfect.
“JARVIS could you please pull up the elemental make up?” Bruce asked ever so politely.
“Yes Dr. Banner.” The AI appreciated the doctor’s finer manners and was happy to oblige. A new blue tinted holoscreen pops up at his finger tips.
“JARVIS how come you never do that for me?”
“What sir?”
“Pull up something with no back talk or sassy. You were down right happy to do that. Happy, JARIS, happy. I didn't program you to be happy.” Tony whines, hating getting less attention for all of four seconds.
“Why I’m sorry sir. Next time you ask me it will be with the utmost respect.” JARVIS replies flatly. If he had eyes, which he doesn’t, he’d be rolling them.
“See? There it is. You’re catching a tone with me!”
“Tony it can’t be helped that JARVIS likes me better. I’m likable.” Bruce remarks smirking. Hanging out with Tony is the most fun he’s had in years. There is finally someone who never walks on eggshells with him, talking to him carefully as if he is ready to explode at any minute. Tony treats Bruce just like how he treats everyone else, no fear in his eyes or alternative motives.
“I’m likable! I’m Tony fucking Stark: the most likable man in the world!” Tony mutters as he pours his goo into thin, non-permeable metal rings. “Anyway, try this on.”
The liquor’s temperature drops dramatically as it’s sealed into the rings. Tony activates the magnetic field what would pin the rings together and drop itself to the floor at a moment’s notice. Bruce took off his gloves and face mask and slid the rings around his wrist. They morph to fit his size and grip his skin.
“JARVIS! Lock down the lab please.”
“Certainly sir.” The tables and work stations are lower to the floor, vanishing under a trap door. The walls move back giving ample space for a 4 ton animal to bash about.
“Now all we need to do is to hulk you out.” Tony states, stepping back to admire their work. The holograms disappear and leaves Tony and Bruce in the middle of the workshop.
“I don’t know…I’ve been pretty calm lately and we’re in no danger. It’s going to be hard to get the other guy out.” Bruce drawls. He and Tony do this thing that whenever the other guy is need, Tony will do his best to royally piss Bruce off. The billionaire usually wins only because Bruce lets him.
Rubbing his hands together, Tony grins in a way that would rival Loki. “Okay, here I go. You're a no name loser. Girls never like you because you’re nerdy and lame. And not nerdy in that cool hipster way, nerdy in the ewww way!” Bruce gives a mock yawn.
“Heard it all before Stark, try harder.” He taunts lazily and Tony glares.
“Your dick is small.”
“Bigger then yours my friend.”
“You have no sense of style.”
“You wear a purple and yellow suit to the Grammy’s. Try again.” The engineer freezes in thought. A few minutes past before a delightfully evil smile curls across his face.
“What? Are you going to tell me my mom never loved me?” Bruce teases.
“You got your doctorates from community college.” Bruce starts getting a little green. No one insults his doctorates, NO ONE!
“Yeah, that’s right, mister fourth of his class. Valedictorian too hard for you? Aww poor boo boo. You couldn’t even figure out an atom from a sub-nano anti-matter. No wonder everyone never sites your work. It’s all wrong!” Tony says without a care, hiding a small smirk behind indifference.
Bruce starts to breathe heavy, his body trembling. Unlike any other time, he doesn’t fight the urge to get angry but allows it to take hold of him. Bruce starts to fade and the other guy takes hold. His last coherent thought is that he let Tony win this round.
“Hurraaagghhh!!!”
~
“What the hell was that?” Clint yells as the mansion shakes. Thor pounds his chest as he stays upright.
“It is a call to battle! We must take heed and follow it!”
“No Thor, it’s not. I think it was Bruce.” Steve says, eying the elevator that leads to the lab. Tony and Bruce have been done there all day after the meeting. No, he doesn’t miss Tony! What a strange thing to say! He just…just worried.
“If that was the Hulk, do you think Tony’s okay?”Natasha muses as she eats her fruit salad. They all stare at each for a second before taking off down to the lab.
“Tony? TONY-” Steve stares at the sight before him. Tony is petting Hulk’s head like it’s an animal. The beast is handcuffed and pinned to the floor and is sitting with his hands between his legs. He looks down right adorable, if you could even use that word for the Hulk because, you know, he’s the fucking Hulk.
“Tony?” The patriot is dumbstruck. Tony is perfectly fine.
“Hey guys! Isn’t he precious! We were testing some new chains so that the Hulk could be subdued easily after battle.” Tony explains as if all of this is perfectly normal.
“Why hello green beast! It is a pleasure to meet such a valiant warrior in pleasant company.” Thor booms, walking up to pat Hulk’s bicep.
“Hulk no like hammer man.” He growls but Thor shows no fear.
“I am no mere man, I am Thor: God of Thunder.” He explains delicately as if he is talking to a child.
“Hulk no like God.” Hulk still remembers the relation between Thor and Loki and all their fights at the beginning. He still hasn’t, and probably will never, warm up to Thor.
“Is this safe Stark?” Natasha inquires, not flinching a bit under Hulk’s gaze. Hulk stomps his heels against the floor.
“Red spider good.” He bellows. Natasha smiles, a short lift of her lips, and nods.
“Of course! He’s restrained perfectly.” Tony assures.
“Are you sure?” Steve asks.
“Are you questioning my awesome abilities?” Tony cries, appalled at the idea. “It’s perfectly safe. This would be a good time to see what he’s thinking without all the smashing and bashing. There might be a very refined gentlemen under that green skin.”
“And they said something similar about another genius I know.” Clint snips, walking around Hulk to examine him.
“Reeds right? Ugh, that man is so uncouth.” Tony sneers.
“Hey big guy! Do you know who I am?” Clint asks as if he’s talking to an infant.
“You no get smashed.” Hulk stated plainly.
“Awesome! He knows not to kill me.” Barton mock-cheers. They team spends a few more minutes coaxing out answers from the giant beast. They find out that Hulk likes chips and Steve’s shoes. He doesn’t like buses because buses need to be smashed. He also likes the music in stores. And he likes being naked…That one is a weird on and Tony saves that for later to torment Bruce with.
“What else do you like?” The Russian double agent is rather interested in Hulk’s mind and is the only one on the team that she hasn’t thoroughly picked at. It is fun to see all the secrets the gamma ray monster could have locked away. He is easier to crack then most but harder to decipher.
“ Hulk like tiny iron man. Hulk like Tony.”
“Aww! Tony like Hulk too.” Tony gushes. Clint makes a disgusted face at the two.
“Eww, get a room Stark.”
“I do not understand, does he not own this whole building? He has many rooms to get. They are all his.” Thor babbles in an attempt to decode the joke.
“Forget it man. Hulk, do you think you can change back?”
“Hulk do what Hulk want.” He huffs rather indigently. With a few steady heavy breathes, he shrinks into himself, leaving a very nude Bruce Banner in cuffs.
“Kinky.” Tony states with a smirk.
“Screw you…” Bruce mumbles, humbly covering his privates from the team. “What did you guys talk about?”
“Turns out that Hulk has a thing for star spangled feet apparel.” Clint says. “Maybe we should take him to Payless.”
“Oh no! We won’t be making a thing out of this.” Steve informs. “It’s too dangerous.”
“You say the cuffs! They worked perfectly.” Tony complains. He and Banner had worked their asses of making the new bendable element. Sure it went twice as fast with another set of brilliant hands but still, they worked hard.
“Tony, the Hulk isn’t your little experiment partner. He’s a real danger to civilian populace.” Steve snaps a bit to harshly.
Bruce deflates into himself. Of course. He told Tony it isn’t a good idea to try to get Hulk to a comfortable level so he wouldn’t go off smashing when the fights over. He is too unstable, too unpredictable to control. His own nakedness becomes more aware to him and he feels down right silly. This was a bad idea. He should have said no. He should had kept his distance, that’s what the file recommended he do when interacting with Stark.
“I don’t see why not. We just made small talk with him for fifteen minutes! It was a great success with no injuries or property damage, property that I like to remind you is mine.” Tony spits, just as hotly. He will not back down when he thinks he’s right and Tony Stark is always right so he never backs down. “ The Hulk is a member of the team like everyone else and I’m not saying we put him on a leash and walk him down Grand Central Station but periodic stabilization therapy would be good for him.”
“How would you know that? You’re not a doctor!” Steve demands.
“Well excuse the fuck out of you. I have ten doctorates!”
“Six of them are honorary and none of them are in psychology.” Natasha states bluntly.
“And how many doctorates, honorary or not, do you have missy?”
“Don’t call me missy.” Her voice is calm but Stark is sure she is thinking of a hundred and ten ways to kill him on the spot.
“I have eleven.” Bruce admits with some pride.
“Shut up you, I’m doing it for your benefit.” Tony notes roughly.
“I still don’t thin-”
“No one is asking you to think Cap. Leave that to the science bros.” Bruce facepalms.
“Science bros…what the hell?” Clint chokes out between snorts. Thor looks puzzled and Steve is boiling with confused rage.
“Who are this Brothers of Science? Do we know of them? Will they one day aid us?” Thor asks.
“Your looking at them!” Tony presents himself and Bruce rather proudlyto the rest of the team.
“I told him it wasn’t cool. I told him.” Bruce mutters into his hand.
“Not cool? It is the coolest of cool. Better then Team chemical.”
“No, Team chemical sounds better.” Clint adds.
“Yeah, I prefer that one.” Natasha says, throwing in her two cents.
“What? Science bros has so much marketability. We can even get a jingle. A kick ass guitar solo. Maybe some piano. You like piano right Bruce?” The other scientist nods.
“Can we get Adele’s song writer on the lyrics?”
“Of course science bro. JARVIS, hire Adele’s song writer for me will you?”
“Adele? Really? I don’t know, I prefer Lana De Ray. Off to the races was a good song.” The spy comments.
“I like that song to, JARVIS, hire that one too.” Tony orders.
“Of course sir.”
Steve shakes his head, the conversation had deteriorated into this…science bros mess. Stark had one this one. He walks out followed by a sadden Thor who’s idea of Asgardian folk singers had gotten turn down. The little inkling in Steve’s heart has nothing to do with jealousy, nope. He’s perfectly fine.
~
Steve unconsciously plops popcorn into his mouth. Usually on Fridays he and Tony would go watch movies from the past 70 years. It was supposed to help catch him up on “all the pop culture references that he needs to know”. It had been fun, he and Tony really bonded. They shared some laughs, eat popcorn, and just snugg- er um sit together and enjoy each others company. But no. He had science bros now. He didn’t need him.
The thought of Tony not needing him hurt. Tony isn’t some difficult child with a knack for not making good friends(well he was but not literally…right?). He doesn’t need Steve to hold his hand. He is a grown man. If he chooses to hang out with Bruce, then so be it. Maybe…maybe Tony was only playing nice, the man could play really really nice when he wanted to. What if this whole thing was just a way to show Captain America he wasn’t a bad guy? So now that Tony had Bruce, he dumped him. Steve was dumped. For Bruce.
That hurt. Bad.
“Hey Cap.” Tony walks into the room with his usual black wife beater( he abhors that name.) and stained jeans. “Wat’cha watchin?” He doesn’t sit down immediately but searches around for a bit.
“Jaws. What are you looking for?”
“My Starktablet. It’s okay…Jaws? Classic. I can’t believe we haven’t seen this one yet.” The billionaire slumps down next to the blonde, reclining into the cushions.
“Yeah well you’ve been busy with Bruce lately so I’d thought I’d watch it on my own.” Steve murmurs, hoping Tony doesn’t pick up on his sadness. He does.
“Oh, sorry about that. I have been bailing out on you lately.” Tony sounds remorseful. He puts a warm hand on Cap’s knee. “I’ve been a bad movie partner.” He sighs.
“Well, you can make it up. Here,” Steve hands him the popcorn bowl, their popcorn bowl. “sit back, relax, and enjoy.” He grins, reciting the words Tony had said before their first movie.
“You really are getting the hang of this whole references thing. Fast learner. I’ll give it a B.” Steve shakes his head, unbelievably happy, and presses play.
The whole movie is comforting. Tony is rambling on almost louder then the volume about all the inconsistent impossibles going on in the movie. Steve listens to both, drowning himself in the comfort Tony’s voice brings, and munching on popcorn. Their hands brush every now and again and their knees bump once or twice. Everything is warm and cozy and just awesome.
“Hey guys.” Steve never really isn’t one for cursing out someone, especially a teammate, but being around Bruce made him want to do it.
“Yo Sci-bro.” Tony greets without looking away from the screen.
“Jaws?”
“Mother fucking Jaws.”
“A classic.”
“That’s what I told Steve.” The man in question tries to hid his grimace from the two brunettes.
“Mind if I join you?” Bruce asks ever so innocently.
“Yes.”
“No- wait, what?” Tony looks at Steve. Did he just say he minds? Well he wouldn’t have said that. He would have said yes – but whatever, semantics and all – the fact of the matter is that Steve doesn’t want Bruce to join them. He genially wants to be alone with him. Like any reasonable man, Stark panics.
“What? Steve no! Come on, Bruce can hang. He’s cool enough.” The scruffy haired scientist nods and sit on the other side of Tony, leaving the metal super hero sandwiched between him and Steve.
“Oh, what? I didn’t mean that. Of course Bruce can join us.” Steve replies. He locks eyes on the screen and doesn’t look away. If Steve was a different type of man, he would of had some words to say to Dr. Banner.
~
“I suck!”
“You don’t suck Tony…you're just…you.” Bruce reassures sipping on his tea. The two had come up from the lab and a long night without sleep. The movie with Steve went well until he panicked and had Bruce come and join them to ease his tension.
“Exactly. That’s the problem. I suck. He actually wanted to be with me Bruce!” Tiny whines into his half empty coffee mug. “Like be be with me.”
“It’s fine Tony, stuff like this takes time.”
“But he’s so perfect and I just wanna hug him and fu-”
“Stop. I said I’d help you out with this but remember rule 2.” Bruce didn’t wanna hear all the things Tony would love to do to Cap’s dick. Actually, he can live his whole life happier if he never hears what Tony wants to do Cap’s dick.
“Okay okay…maybe we could go on a date or something. But not like a date date but like a ‘hey I’m your friend and you're straight but lets go out on a friend type thing’ date.”
“You don’t know if he’s straight.”
“He’s Captain fucking America Bruce.” Tony hates not getting what he wants, he hates being denied of something he so desperately craves. But Tony is also a masochist. He loves hurting himself, restricting himself from things that could save him from himself. Bruce is a gift for Tony, someone make him put the metaphorical knife down and take care of himself. The billionaire hates to admit how dependent he gets on people, especially when he portrays himself as self-serving and self-efficient. But he is. He is very dependent on Bruce, he’s is rock. He hates it but it’s true.
“And your Tony fucking Stark. And I’m Bruce fucking Banner living in a house with Natasha fucking Romanov, Clint fucking Barton, and fucking Thor taking orders from Nick Fucking Fury. Everything is weird and strange, I think it’s almost done right particle to think that you and Steve could date.” Bruce states firmly. The only one allowed to be deprecating to themselves is him.
“I.. did you ever curse this much before?” Tony asks completely baffled.
“You’re rubbing off on me.” Bruce winks and they laugh.
~
“But…it’s wrong to be jealous of Bruce! He didn’t do anything wrong, they are just so compatible.” Steve whines into his pillow. After hearing about Science Bros, Clint decided to follow suit and make his own club. The blonde squad, he called it. Their first meeting is held in Clint’s room at 6 ol’clock. Why? Because blondes can do whatever they want. They’re fabulous.
“Fear not dear friend! I do not think Tony is at all interested in friend Bruce.” Thor exclaims, rubbing Steve’s back.
“But how do you know?!” Steve sulks.
“Because Tony just..okay. We don’t know for sure bu-”
“Exactly! See?” Cap whines.
“But. But, I know a way that we can.” Clint smiles.
“How?”
“Well…I hate to say this but: Tony is kinda sort maybe a bit ‘attractive’ or whatever.” Clint says begrudgingly.
“Aye, Stark would catch a very fine price if he was up for dowry.” Thor points out, eyes misty with appreciation.
“Great. So now I have to worry about you guys.” Steve mutters.
“Ew. No, you don’t. Stark is totally not my type but I can appreciate his face. My point is that you aren’t the first to take interest in him and you certainly won’t be the last. Don’t interrupt!” Clint glares at the Captain and continues. “So he’s used to having multiple people fighting over him. What you need to do is get aggressive.”
“Aggressive?” Could Steve in do that? Is such an angry emotion even possible for him to make?
“Yeah. Stark loves the flashy. Do something big and bold and he will be yours.” Clint finishes, thoroughly impressed with himself.
“Would that even work?”
“In some parts of Asgard a warrior would go off and kill the biggest beast they could find to increase their chances of becoming the best suitor. You do not do this here?”
“Something like it buddy. See? It’s perfectly natural.”
“But what about Bruce?” He deserves a fair shot at Tony, no matter how much Steve didn’t want that.
“What about him? Tell him naw uh. Tony’s your man. Naw nuh. Not my man.” Clint whips his finger in his face and shakes his head.
“Are you referencing something? I feel like you are referencing something.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have the perfect idea to get Tony’s attention.”
~
“So, what do you guys want to do for our team day?” Team day is always fun. Sometimes it gets dangerous, like the time they went to Atlantic City and Natasha conned all the dealers or that time in Miami when Tony slept with a married Starlet, but their usually fun. Very fun. Usually.
“Well me and Tony wan-”
“Can we do to Coney Island?”Steve suggests quickly.
“Agreed.” Thor and Clint add.
“Sure, why not.” Natasha says.
“Thor do you even know what Coney Island is?” Tony asks.
“Doesn’t matter, majority wins.” Clint says quickly.
“Okay…Fine whatever. Coney Island it is.”
The park the quinnjet on the outer banks of the island. Tony makes it invisible and they head out over to the board walk.
“Tash, why don’t we go over to the ferris wheel? You too Thor.” They group disperses leaving an awkward triad of Steve, Bruce, and Tony.
“Isn’t this supposed to be team, as in together, day?” Tony inquires, scratching his goatee.
“Umm, it’s fine. Why don’t we go play some games?” Steve suggests ever so innocently.
“Sure.” Bruce leads them into the various stands having trick games. Tony and him immediately formulates a theorem to solve each game perfectly, talking about the best possible equations.
“Tony look!” Steve knocks down another row of cans with his pure strength. The vendor is sour but allows him to take an Iron Man and Captain America plushie.
“Awesome!” Tony reaches for the Iron Man doll but Steve pushes the Cap figure into his hands.
“I – ah – want you to have this one.” Steve stutters. “A-as a joke! Yeah, it would be cool to have each others figures.” Tony feels a warm flush take his cheeks.
“Good idea…” Tony press the doll to his arc reactor, smiling. “Thanks.”
“You're welcome.” Steve smiles down at him and he ignores how badly he wants to kiss him.
“I think your doll looks pretty cute!” Tony notes, looking over the soft toy.
“Yeah, I make an impressive model.” Steve curses his momentary boasting. He isn't like that but he fumbling. Clint said to show off and look good. Good thing Clint and Thor are smarter then they look because Tony laughs.
“Yes, I have to agree-”
“Tony! Look what I found at the gift shop.” Bruce runs up with Hulk hands.
“Awesome! Let’s see if we can replicate Hulk’s power!” The two run off, ready to cause scientific chaos.
Steve stares down at the Iron Man plushie, taking in the red’s and gold’s. The solemn faceplate stares back at him, the arc reactor a shiny metallic fabric. Sighing, Steve stalks after them. So much for aggressive.
~
Steve swallows, lingering in the doorway to the kitchen. Bruce is there fixing something for Tony and him. He just has to step it up, be aggressive. Flashy. A declaration of love rivals seems dramatic enough.
“Hey Cap.” No. Eww, only Tony calls him Cap. It's their thing. Coming from Bruce it feels wrong.
“Hey.” Steve drawls, narrowing his eye.
“What can I do you for?” Bruce doesn't look up from the table, slicing the sandwich in half.
“I want you to leave him alone.” Steve's voice isn't steady but he sucks it up.
“What?”
“He my man and..uh you can't have him!”
….What? Bruce looks over at his commanding officer. He is blushing beat red and kind of sweaty. Steve never sweats, even when he is in mid-battle.
“I'm sorry, did you just-”
“Tony. I don't like you guys hanging out but I can't stop you because Tony likes you a lot.” Steve mumbles. Bruce stares at him. Then stares some more. A little bit longer. Then BAM, he's doubled over laughing.
“Oh my god! You guys are ridiculous!” Steve starts turning even redder, this time from anger. Did Bruce not think he was a worthy competitor? He mentally stops himself, he's been hanging out with Thor too much.
“What's that supposed to mean?” The solider bristles. Bruce wheezes, coughs, then takes a few deep breathes.
“Tony is crazy about you!”
Now it's Steve's turn to be shaken silent. “What?”
“Tony is heads over heels, steal his arc reactor, give away his title as genius playboy billionaire philanthropist in love with you.” The scientist says slowly.
“...What? How do you know?” He's skeptical. Maybe this was a cruel joke to Bruce but even Cap knew that probably wasn't true.
“Because he won't shut up about you.”
“Tony won't shut up about a lot of things!” Steve counters.
“Woah woah! This is how you guys talk about me?” Tony jest, strolling into the room. “Can I get that sandwich?”
“No. You and Steve need to talk.”
“About what?” Tony is king of bullshit. He could spin this whole thing around. He's not ready for 'the talk'. Bruce knows that. “Is it Jaws? Because I'll talk about Ja-”
“No Tony,” Bruce insists, face stern. “you need to talk about it.”
“It? What it? It as in a person, thing, or place? It the idea?” Tony rambles, trying to find an escape route.
“Tony...please? I need to talk to you.” Cap has these big blue eyes. Puppy eyes, really. They could suck you in and hold you down for years. Tony could say know to that face, he really really couldn't. Goddamnit.
“Fine. It. Bruce, could you give us some space so me and the good Captain here can discuss the alleged it?”
“Of course. And no you can't have this sandwich until your done.” Bruce takes the food and walks out of the kitchen.
“So...it. It. It It. What about it? What is this concep-”
“Do you like Bruce?”
“Well yeah. We hang out all the time. I like Bruce a lot.” Steve nods slowly.
“So you'd like him so much you...you would go steady with him?” Tony looks at Steve who looks at the floor. The engineer notices how much he loves Steve, the way his heart swells from just staring at him. The way the phrase 'going steady' is so old fashioned and lame that if anyone else said it he'd laugh but it's just perfect for Steve. He's is perfect. And Tony is so imperfect and doesn't deserve him. Tony doesn't deserve to be with Steve, to love him like he does, but he does anyway. He's selfish and immature. He needs Steve like he needs air or the arc reactor.
“Steven Rogers, would you like to go to dinner to night?”
“Like a date? A date date?” Steve is blushing harder then he has in his life. His mind is on super solider autopilot. He's surprise that he even knows how to form words.
“Like a date date. Not a “let's be friends” kind of date date but a “yeah I'd love to be with your forever and kiss and hold you because I love you” date date.” Tony clarifies. “If you're cool with that date date type...we can go on another date. I don't care, literally anything you want to do I'm cool with. I don't care. Well, I care a lot but if you don't want to I'm cool with that. I respect your-”
“Tony?”
“Yes?”
“Please shut up.” Steve leans down and kisses him. It's the most earnest, sweetest kiss Tony has ever gotten and it feels right. Impossibly right. He presses back into the kiss, deepening. Slowly, they break apart staring into each others eyes.
“So..I'm guessing you don't like Bruce then?”
“Naw, I think I'm going to leave him for you.” Tony winks, pulling his Captain America back down for another kiss.
“Could you guys not make out in the kitchen?” Natasha requests, gliding past the two gracefully. “I eat here.”
“Ever hear of the word cockblock Tash?” Tony snips.
“If you are implying that I am one, you won't have a cock to block for long.”
“Kinky, but no thanks. I got me a man.”
“Where is that from? I feel like you guys are referencing something.” Steve rants. This is the second time he's heard that.
“Well congrats to you Steve, I'm happy for you.” Natasha says with a smile. She was always routing for him on the side lines.
“Blonde Squad Assemble!” Clint yells from down the hall.
“Blonde squad?” Tony quirks an eyebrow but his new boyfriend just laughs.
“You aren't a blonde. You wouldn't understand.” Steve reluctantly detaches himself from Tony. “I have a meeting to attend to. See you tonight?”
“Eight ol clock sharp. Look nice, I'm taking you somewhere fancy.”
“I'm expecting roses and chocolate Stark.”
“But of course my dear.” He bows as Steve's retreating form.
“You do know that if you fuck this up I will kill you right?” The Russian questions, not looking up from her cup.
“I wouldn't expect anything less.”
“Good.” She finishes her glass and walks past Tony, hand resting on his shoulder for a fleeting moment. “You deserve something nice for once.”
“Are you implying that I don't have nice things?” Tony asks. She smirks before walking out the room. “My things are very nice Natasha! Very nice!”
~
“Come on Bruce, you have to help me!” Tony begs, stomping around his bedroom sized closet.
“I thought you said I had no sense of style.”
“I didn't mean that! It's our first date Bruce! Please? Come on. Don't be cruel. Do I need to get the Hulk? He'd help me! What are Science Bros for?” Tony is freaking out, there is only twenty more minutes until it's nine ol clock, he is already late.
“Fine! I'll help. But only for my brother from another -alogy.” Tony stops in his tracks, turning to his best friend.
“You did not just say that. You did not just say that!” Bruce laughs at Tony's stunned face. He feels right at home.