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Adonis had found himself in a small predicament.
He was out of lip gloss—not that it was surprising, he wasn’t the type to buy makeup regularly. In fact, that was probably where the problem stemmed from, he only had a single tube of lip gloss to spare. A tube—his sisters may add—he’d been using for over a year.
It wasn’t really that much of an issue, technically speaking. He could just go to the store and buy another one, but he’d realised he didn’t remember the shade he should be looking for, nor did he remember the brand.
“Hmm…”
He didn’t care for specifics like this usually, lip gloss was just lip gloss after all. Yet, he still felt troubled by the ordeal. Kaoru had told him before that fans tend to notice when an idol changes something, however miniscule, about themselves. His eyebrows naturally placed themselves in a furrowed position, perhaps he may need some help finding another tube of the same colour.
His first thought was to ask Arashi, out of everyone he knew—bar his sisters, he wouldn’t even dare go there—she should know best. However, even if Arashi was knowledgeable about the topic, her fatal flaw would be that she’d end up spending much more time distracted from the goal in favour of looking at the newest “celeb collabs” or what not releases.
He puffed his cheeks, “Narukami would just end up finding another type of lipstick entirely…” Shaking his head, he realised he couldn’t ask her, she’d just end up walking circles around him, using makeup terms he couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
—No, but seriously, what even is the difference between a “foundation” and a “concealer.” He relented, he would never truly understand.
He could also ask Koga, but he figured Koga was more into eyeliner or whatever gave him that “grunge” look. In contrast, Adonis liked to have a more “simple” look, really he only wore lip gloss because Rei said it enhanced his existing appearance.
“There’s always Kanzaki.”
He pondered on that thought, why not Souma? He wasn’t exactly someone that you’d go to for makeup advice, but he would wholly be dedicated to finding the exact item Adonis would be looking for. Plus—he probably was the only one who’d recognize the lip gloss Adonis used.
Adonis cringed, thinking about his last encounter with his friend—would “friend” even be the right word? Regardless of semantics, their relationship had become a little bit more complicated than what it used to be after his botched confession attempt.
He’d been so embarrassed he practically begged his roommates to tell the other that he wasn’t home every time he came knocking, which only made his conscience worse. It was his fault they were in this situationship, for a lack of a better word.
I guess this would make for a good excuse to see him?
The thought that this was a horrible excuse to see someone after days of avoiding them did cross his mind, but little rational thought was left in his mind once the name Kanzaki had left his dry lips.
“Otogari-kun, do you want to join me and Morisawa-senpai tonight for some rounds of Mario Kart?”
Adonis jumped, caught off guard, “huh—oh, it’s just you, Yuuki.”
Makoto looked at him in concern—well it’s only natural . Makoto had felt the blunt-end of Adonis’s complicated feelings, being forced to watch his roommate in a state of listlessness and all, so concern was to be expected. Adonis cleared his throat before turning to face his roommate in the eye, not because of any suffocating feeling in his throat he wished to rid himself of—but rather, he coughed to present an image of presence.
“I know you aren’t exactly feeling the best right now, so if you’re up for it… It’d be a good change of pace, no?”
“...”
Makoto gave an awkward smile, the type of smile you wouldn’t be able to differentiate if it was out of genuine pity, cheekiness, or maybe something else entirely. Before Adonis could ask, Makoto slapped the back of his head gently.
“On second thought, it looks like you have your hands full. Maybe some other time, Otogari-kun?”
“...Yeah, yes. Thank you.”
Makoto waved him goodbye and returned to whatever he was doing before, leaving Adonis to just watch him afar. Despite the lack of substance in their short conversation, it served as a reality check, Adonis had to do something; lest, he become the spitting image of taciturnity.
He groaned, should he just go straight to Souma’s doorstep? Or should he consult someone first? The chances of it being a successful solo mission were low, but he’d been reluctant to tell anyone what happened with him and Souma, for he was too ashamed of himself.
There’s only one thing I can do… right?
Taking a deep breath in, he slowly began to trudge himself to Souma’s dorm, letting the sounds of Makoto’s button mashing fade into the distance. He let the empty ES hallways latch onto his thoughts, the narrow walls only echoing the ruminations entrapped in his brain.
How would he even start a conversation? Address what happened? But talking about that would force him to also confront his feelings, was he even ready to try again? He recalled that the reason he confessed was that, well, maybe admitting his feelings would lessen them; because, there was just no way Souma felt the same. But, clearly, that didn’t work out, or so he wouldn’t be here right now.
He still had time to go ask someone for advice, maybe one of his senpai in UNDEAD? But what would they even tell him, and even if they did have something to say, he doubted that he could take the teasing nature of his senpai right now. Souma’s dorm was only a few doors away, his thoughts only continuing to rapidly spin around his head, a decision far from sight.
He had the opportunity to stop, maybe walk away, and figure something out, yet his body senselessly kept moving forward. He was too deep in now, he sighed—if Souma were to come out of his dorm room right now, a confrontation would be inescapable. He had to go through with this, yet his brain still shouted against the logic.
Wait, wasn’t there something else I had to—
Before he could catch his thought, he knocked on the door, the reality of his actions wasting no time to slam him in the face.
“Adonis-dono…?”
“Doyouhappentorememberwhatmylipglosstasteslike?” He hiccuped, surprised by what his own mouth had spit out.
Souma tilted his head, squinting at him in a concern similar to that of Makoto’s, but much more perplexed.
“Are you okay? Your face is all red, are you sick? Do you need a doctor?” Souma put his hand over his forehead, which only worsened the colour of fluster over his skin. “Do you indeed have the flu, this warm temperature is a cause for worry. Have you been sick with this illness this whole week?”
Adonis pushed himself away from the other, He’s acting as if nothing happened between us…?
But, that was just what Souma was like, a friend who’d care about him unconditionally—regardless of circumstance. Even when they were enemies pitted against each other, after the battle had been finished, Souma had offered him help in cleaning up. The only reason he was not able to carry out his offer was because Keito had dragged him away, Adonis twiddled his thumbs; he really was the worst.
He had to salvage their relationship, which only he blamed himself for the spiralling demise of. It would be cowardice to ask someone else for advice, and it would be cowardice to sweep the event under the rug; so, he decided that he wouldn’t do either. However, he couldn’t exactly skip straight to the chase right now, it’d be too sudden.
“And, if I may pry… What is this about lip gloss?”
He froze—ah, right, the lip gloss.
Admittedly, the lip gloss situation was minor compared to whatever this was. But, he may as well play his cards right and use it as a starting point? It could prove to be a light-hearted way to set the tone, and it wouldn’t completely be ignoring the prior situation.
Adonis raised his head, looking Souma directly in the eye, “do you happen to remember what my lip gloss tastes like?”
In turn, Souma, understandably, looked at him like he’d lost it, before quickly diverting eye contact (was he embarrassed too?).
“Kanzaki, I, erm—”
“No, no,” he waved his hands. “I am sure I have something like that stored in this head of mine, I shall try my best to…”
“Oh, ok. That’s great then,” the air around them grew tense, Adonis figured the feeling was mutual on Souma’s end too this time. Adonis shuffled his feet forward, raising his arm toward the other. “Are you free to leave now, then?”
Souma nodded, but not without Adonis noting the tips of his ears were painted in a deep reddish tone—no doubt from the awkward situation he had imposed on his friend. He really should apologise soon, but he couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. He shook his head, in any case, he troubled his friend, and he’d need to repent for it.
The store was crowded, much more crowded than it had any reason to be on a weekday afternoon. Adonis looked to Souma, who seemed to be standing on his tippy-toes looking for something.
“I cannot seem to find the lip section, have you any better luck Adonis-dono?”
Adonis looked up, but it was for naught—the sales floor was too full for him to grasp where any of the aisles were and what they contained. “I don’t see it either.”
“Then I suppose we shall just walk around until we find what we are looking for then, is that alright?”
“...Yes, of course.”
Souma instinctively grabbed his hand, leading the way around the store. Adonis made a muffled squeaking sound on impact, but quickly tried to play it off as a cough. Souma didn’t seem to notice the peculiar sound he had made, or Adonis hoped he didn’t.
Souma’s hand was neither cool, nor warm—the perfect temperature. The texture felt soft, which felt strange knowing how often his friend practised swinging his sword around, surely a few rough spots should be expected? Maybe he just moisturises really well…?
“Oh, that’s surprising, I didn’t know contemporary beauty stores carried horse oil. Perhaps it may prove insightful to try? My supply has been wearing thin recently…”
“Is that how you get your hair to be so ‘fresh,’ Kanzaki?”
His friend’s hair was always well-groomed, even his sister—who was a hairstylist at that—thought it so. He’d always felt proud whenever she’d complimented it, it must’ve been no easy feat to keep good care of long hair like his, he’d thought. Kanzaki is a hard worker in all aspects isn’t he?
“Mhm! I doubt it is effective for all hair types, I’ve only known it to work for my own—but, it is also beneficial for skin health! If you would like, I shall help you apply it later sometime?”
“If you are okay with it, I’ll humbly accept the offer,” he smiled.
“Well then it is a ‘date!’” He announced quite loudly, the passing customers side-eyeing the pair. “Hmm, oh! Over there, do my eyes deceive me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Over yonder! That must be the lip aisle, come, let’s move forth.”
He dragged Adonis to the display, his eyes widening at all the different colours that populated this section of the store. Admittedly, Adonis did not share the same enthusiasm, for his mind was still stuck on the word “date,” not knowing what to make of it.
“Erm… So do you recognize any that were similar to mine…?”
“Well, if I recall correctly, colour is only one part of the solution. Without taste, it’s useless.”
Adonis clicked his tongue, “oh, alright. If that’s the case…”
“Surely, you do not want me to eat lip products to figure out which one is the one you use?”
“Well, if you phrase it like that—”
Adonis slowly reached towards the sample reluctantly, making sure to look at Souma for validation. The only read on Souma he could gather was a smile in anticipation, but he doubted his observation, it must be the optimism speaking.
He squeezed the tube over his fingertip, his lips trembling as he applied the product. The shade felt like a warm sunset type gloss, but the warmness of the shade was no match for his cheeks that burnt like fires over an abandoned summertime prairie.
“So, is it a fit?” He mumbled.
“May I…?”
“...Yes.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the seconds wait consume him. The thought of opening them for a peak crossed his mind, but he buried the thought soon after. But, the wait did feel like it was becoming a little extensive, he wondered if Souma was still standing right next to him.
Before his insecurities completely took over the best of him, he felt a soft, yet vaguely familiar, touch. His body responded on its own, kissing back without a thought—though, it was cut short, once Souma had pulled out.
“Hmm… It’s quite spicy. I do not believe this to be the right one.”
Adonis gulped, right this is for academic purposes. He reminded himself that it was perfectly normal to kiss your friend if it was to help them out, which Souma was doing. Speaking of Souma, it looked like he had begun collecting handfuls of different glosses with some sort of serious disposition.
“If I were to make an educated guess, one of these should be the right one. Something fruity, but not overtly so—maybe even a floral after effect?” Souma crossed his arms, he really was taking this in earnest, Adonis’s gaze softened as he watched over him.
“I mean, we could try all of these…?” Adonis, a bit too excitable, proclaimed. Souma grinned in a mischievous manner, “—not, not that I mean it like that.”
“Well, how about this one; this seems like a similar tone to the one you wore before?”
“It’s worth a shot.” That’s the one my sister uses though…
He of course, “forgets” to tell Souma this pivotal information. He wasn’t selfish in any sense of the word, but when given the chance to smooch your best bud you conveniently have feelings for, without repercussion, well, even the best of us would falter. Or so, he reassures himself by saying.
“Ready?”
Adonis hums a yes, this time letting himself initiate the “taste test.”
This kiss felt longer than the last, rather than a simple press of lips he felt the other sucking them in.
“I’d say it’s too strong. A shame, because it really is fine in quality,” Souma sighed, putting some of the other similar-type lip glosses back.
Adonis held a disappointed look, maybe he did fly too close to the sun with that one. Still, he figured there were still plenty more chances left to savour some more kisses—in a purely academic, platonic way.
“Let’s try this one?”
“Of course.”
The kiss was brief, one touch and Souma pulled away almost instantaneously. His eyebrows were crossed, was it that bad?
Before Adonis could say anything, Souma pulled back in again, presumably for a second serving. Adonis contemplated if he should kiss back, but opted in favour of not—that’d just make whatever this is more confusing.
“Hmm…” He pulled away once more, but this time a single string of saliva connected their lips. “This one does not appear to have a pungent after taste, however it is still quite efficient as a gloss. If we cannot find the exact product you are looking for, I highly recommend this one.”
The patrons walking past them had caught on to what the pair were doing and began to whisper in their wake, “isn’t that Otogari-kun? That’s definitely Kanzaki-kun too, right?”
“Is this a publicity stunt? It’s gotta be, right~?”
“Hey, not so loud, they’ll hear us…”
Adonis looked towards the crowd, catching glimpses of poorly-hidden phones pointed in their direction. Adonis cursed himself internally, verbally only conveyed by a grunt. He let a pang of irritation hit him, yet he stopped himself before he raised his voice abruptly.
That’ll only create more trouble for Kanzaki… It’s solely my fault, I’ve burdened my friend again, who was only trying to help, with unnecessary rumours…
“...I wonder what they are?”
That one remark made him pause into a fit of self-reflection—right, what are we?
He’d let himself indulge upon his friend shamelessly, with the flimsy excuse of “trying to find the right lip gloss.” He failed to even address what had unpacked in the days leading up to today, with his head hurting in guilt he placed it down to watch the floor.
“...I have to apologise, Adonis-dono. I let my own feelings get the best of me,” Adonis turned towards him, his eyes popping out in a dope. Souma looked dejected, his eyes refusing to meet with Adonis’s, “I shall check us out, for good measure I will grab a few extra glosses, perhaps they will prove useful…”
Souma left towards the register, leaving Adonis completely dumbfounded. Why was he the one apologising, when the blame lies solely on himself? He wondered, what feelings is he talking about?
He took a deep breath in, he’d need to clear the air or they’d both be doomed into this situationship for the rest of their lives. He thought about last week, that confession, and how he’d approach it. The problem was, his confession was anything but straight forward, how exactly was he to explain this all?
Once Souma had returned, he held out a small bag with a weakened smile; yet, no words escaped passed his teeth. Adonis, likewise, didn’t say anything, the two had left the store in silence, walking quietly together towards their dorms.
“Kanzaki, stop by my dorm for a bit... I have something to say.” Souma hesitantly nodded, peering over towards Adonis from the corners of his eyes.
When they reached the dorm, Adonis slowly opened it, letting Souma in, before quickly locking it. Makoto didn’t appear to be home, must’ve gone out. That was good, he’d have a chance to intimately address his feelings towards his friends and set things straight.
“Kanzaki, do you remember… erm… Our rehearsal?”
“How could I forget,” he gave an awkward chuckle.
“I’m sorry, I… got much too invested in the heat of the moment.”
Adonis had been helping Souma practise a script for a drama he was set to audition in, for the most part it was a political-driven action series; yet, there was a romance subplot included. Souma had carefully approached him to ask for his help, and despite his own hidden feelings for his friend, he’d agree.
For the most part, the line exchange went according to plan—save for when the grandiose confession scene had hit its turn to play.
“My liege, our forces cannot withhold this attack for much longer—I shall escort you to safety, for my life shall be forfeited so you can live for not only myself, but our fallen as well.”
Souma’s appearance was striking, between his huffs of breath he managed to hold a proud yet stern expression. Up until this point, Adonis could sense a dissonance between the characters they were playing and themselves, yet this scene chilled him. The unconditionally devoted samurai character his friend was playing—it was much too eerily similar to the same passion that was displayed by his own friend.
His line was supposed to be begrudgingly acceptance, yet he could not bear to say the words that were outlined on the script. He bit his lip, he was supposed to play the role of royalty, but what royalty would let their most beloved ally perish in the battlefield?
“I cannot let you do that, Kanzaki.”
Souma’s facial expression shifted into apprehension, his lips curling upwards in confusion; “Adonis-dono, have you forgotten my character’s name is—”
“Listen to me, Kanzaki… I cannot let you ever sacrifice yourself for my sake, because… I adore you, I truly adore you.” His breath slowed, “we shall escape together, or we shall remain side by side until I can no longer protect you, nor you me—but I shall never abandon you.”
Now, that was a great departure from the original scene, with the original scene just being a simple declaration of how sacrifice would not be in vain—romantic subtleties, sure, but nothing like Adonis’s passionate declarations. Souma’s mouth made a distinctive “O”-ish shape, clearly losing focus.
“Adonis-dono…?”
Adonis moved closer to his face, mere centimetres away from his lips, “could I?”
Souma had become speechless, he simply nodded in curiosity, letting Adonis part his hair behind his ear and move closer until they touched. He let him embrace him, and was eager to embrace him all the same.
The kiss itself was sloppy, clearly it was a kiss initiated by an amateur, yet it still felt comforting. Despite the messy movements of their lips trying to grasp the other, it felt natural. The kiss went on for far too long however, with neither party wanting to end it prematurely—wishing to get the most out of both of their first kiss.
“Kanzaki, I—” His perception had come back to him, and he pulled back quickly, making for an unsatisfactory end to the kiss. He had tried to sound out an apology, an explanation for why he acted so out of character, yet the words would not come to him. He looked to him one last time, and ran away.
“But, Kanzaki, I did mean my every word—I was just engulfed by your presence.” He looked away, “please do not feel obligated to accept my feelings, I have yet to even apologise for today… Or how I ignored you for the past few days.”
“Oh please, do not bear this burden on yourself. For, today it was me who let my selfishness take charge.” He laughed to himself, not much like the awkward laughs he had been choking out for the past hour, but a laugh that felt more, distinct, homely even. “I did not actually need to taste your lips to figure out which lip gloss was yours, you think I would forget a fact as simple as what your lips always look like?”
Adonis laughed back sheepishly, “I guess you’re right… But I am sure at an unconscious level, I was hoping for something like this to transpire myself…”
“Well if it is unconscious decisions that you are concerned of, I am not innocent in that regard myself—why else would I ask you to practise such a scene with me? Granted, you did take it into a completely different route, but…”
Adonis moves closer, smiling fondly, he cusps Souma’s face in his hands, “I’m glad,” he kisses his forehead. “So what does that make us now?”
“I do not know myself, but… There’s still some products we have yet to test?” He pulled Adonis towards him, both of them landing on the bed. The two of them laid there, letting their lips touch the other’s skin repeatedly, losing their grasp on the physical world and letting themselves be taken up by this moment.