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Regulus is not talking to him.
Which would be fine, just another event, no big deal, since James has become very good at coaxing him to open up, to smile and to not push back even when his feelings get the better of him. It's usually in those situations where Regulus has come to seek out James' touch and words the most, much to James' delight who is always all too happy to be of assistance, and usually gets the side reward of cuddles and affection.
It hasn't always been like this. James doesn't like to think about the early days of no communication, when Regulus would pull away from the slightest touch, in a spooked manner he hadn’t felt in years to James' contact, leading to none too few freak out sessions where James questioned if the only thing he achieved by dating him was ruining their friendship. It's only to himself that he'll admit that he tried on multiple occasions to break things off, in fear of losing Regulus altogether. He wishes the words he practised in front of the mirror weren't ingrained in his brain like an aching cut, like a suggestion of what they almost lost.
"Reggie, I love you"
"Reggie, you're not okay. I think we should break up"
On his good days he holds them as a reminder of their efforts and love for each other. On his bad ones he just holds Regulus as close as he can without him complaining of suffocation. But he understands. James knows he does, because despite the promise to never tell Regulus about his doubts, Regulus had them too.
The truth is, they are far too different in every way, and while most of the time James adores this, it sets the ground for very awful fights where Regulus turns away from him making a point of ignoring him, while James is close to tearing out his hair from frustration "You're fucking impossible" he will yell.
And only then will Regulus bring his eyes to his, the grey doing nothing to cool the fire in them "Leave then"
And James has always been hotheaded, jumping to fights with not much thought "That's exactly what I mean, Reg! You can't just say that after every fight! It's fucking awful!"
And then Regulus will close the book and walk up to him, his arms crossed "Okay. Leave then" and James will soften at the anxiety seeping in his voice. There will always be fighting, but James does not feel anymore like he's going to lose everything every single time. Doesn't get paranoid that if he pushes Regulus and asks for a lot, he's going to leave and not look back.
"You don't want me to leave. But if you tell me again I will"
And Regulus isn’t too proud –not anymore – to bite his lip and whisper " Don't"
And they go over the fight and over the details of it again and again, sometimes even igniting if right from the start, but James isn't terrified that they'll go to the other side broken. Isn't scared to call Regulus out. And Regulus isn't scared that James will leave.
So James isn't worried about this particular fight. Although it had been one of their worst ones.
Regulus had stormed out and James hadn't heard anything from him for 2 days. Their classes are apart and most of the time James will take an early breakfast and late dinner due to his quidditch practices and homework. It's nothing too unusual for their programs not to align, although it is unusual for neither of them to look the other up (mostly James, courtesy of the Marauders map which Sirius still grumbles about wrongful usage) and sneak in a few minutes together.
James has asked Regulus' friends – well Pandora specifically– because the others are absolute menaces and she let him know that Regulus is okay and eating, which is all James cares to know at the moment cause he is still pretty mad. He's alive, he's healthy. But James still needs a few days to calm down. And he knows they wouldn't be lost on Regulus either for he can pack a temper. Despite James being the one in the right this time.
But the thing is, when you’re pathetically in love with someone and going through laborious days where you are part of a group and you ought to be tutored by a short tempered Remus and an even shorter tempered Lily for the NEWTs, it gets to you. It chips a little bit of your spirit every time. And James’ preferred method of unwinding is getting to spend time with Regulus and talking to him. Their time together until graduation and James’ imminent leave is already limited, and it gets cut down even more by stupid spats.
By day six of not even catching a glimpse of Regulus, James walks into breakfast with black bags under his eyes and his anxiety levels reaching new heights. It’s not usually this bad. And his friends have noticed too. Remus insists that he catches up on sleep after his morning classes and Sirius even butters his toast for him and pours his juice.
Even so, James doesn’t realise how miserable he must look until Regulus walks into the hall.
When they have a row like this it’s an unspoken agreement that they will both pretend like the other doesn’t exist for a while but the double take Regulus does at the sight of him must be telling of James’ exhaustion. James knows the expression on his face is pathetically desperate for even an ounce of attention and so so tired, and Regulus caves almost immediately and starts taking a step towards him.
James’ spine straightens and he doesn’t even remember what they argued about in the first place, only that Regulus is here, coming towards him after nearly a week and he looks just as tired. A kind of tiredness that settles in your bones and eats you from the inside. He also looks unbearably concerned, and James would feel bad if he wasn't happy at the prospect of sneaking him into his dorm tonight after days of bad sleep.
But just before he reaches the Gryffindor table, Barty and Evan barrel in and slam into him forcefully, taking only a second to right him before turning back to what they were previously doing, which is to scream each other's ear off about something. Regulus stops in his tracks, and James barely has the thought to yell after him when Remus and Peter drag him off to their first class.
They arrive late and get scolded for it. James takes out a parchment with a frown, resigning himself to not seeing Regulus at all that day.
–
James is only in his shorts, laying in bed staring at the ceiling with various books scattered around him. Peter is still in the herbology classroom, and Remus with Sirius are probably at the library studying or –more likely– snogging.
James, because he's a weak person like that, picks up the map for the third time in the last hour, immediately searching for the familiar curves of ink on the paper moving up and down the Slytherin common room, but never leaving it.
His eyes narrow when he doesn't find it immediately. According to the map, Regulus is not in the common room. He searches for him in the next most likely place for him to be, which is the Astronomy tower. But when that too is lacking of his presence, he searches with his heart in his throat for the corridors leading to the Gryffindor rooms. And there, moving steadily down the page, is the floating name of his boyfriend.
He jumps to his feet as soon as the telling knock echoes inside the room and is throwing the door open ready to attack Regulus as soon as he lays eyes on him.
"Reggie?" The corridor is deserted and there's no sign of anyone there "Reg." He yells, a little louder. Well, unless Regulus has another Gryffindor to rendezvous with then… no, James shakes his head, banishing the thought. They haven't talked for so long he's starting to think nonsense.
A little mewl takes him out of what could potentially lead to a spiral and he looks down to a familiar all black cat stretching itself against his leg. Of course.
The cat follows him as he lays back on the bed, his eyes narrowed at it.
"Baby?" It jumps up on the bed like he owns it and climbs on James' chest staring down at him with grey eyes . His wet nose tickles James' and the laugh almost feels foreign after so many days "Regulus"
The cat shakes his head like James has gravely insulted him. He runs a hand down his spine, listening to the purring that immediately calms him down "So is this our new thing now? You turn into a cat to avoid admitting you were wrong?"
Regulus hisses, his tails whipping James on the stomach, which only makes him laugh ever more "You failed to consider that, this way I can say whatever I want," he clutches his tiny head gently inside his fist, "And you can't say anything back"
Regulus raises his paw, showing all of his very sharp nails (Pandora makes sure of that ever since James nicked him once and isn’t allowed to anymore) in a threatening gesture.
James raises an eyebrow "Go ahead then. Let's see it"
Regulus hisses again, but puts down his paw.
James smiles and kisses his paw and then flicks his ear for good measure, delighting when Regulus does his usual act of absolutely hating it, "I know you're here for me. Thank you" Regulus purrs and snuggles against his neck, and for the first time in days, James falls into a deep sleep.
–
"Can he not turn back?" Sirius whispers to him in the morning after spotting Regulus still in his cat form, on his lap.
James sighs and rubs his eyes. Yeah, that was his question too when he woke up this morning and Regulus was still sleeping in his animagus form, hitting him in the nose every time he asked him to turn back "He can, he just chooses not to" Peter snickers "He's punishing James"
Sirius looks doubtful as he watches James scratching him just below the chin, the way he likes "Some punishment"
James leans down to talk to him in a whisper "Baby, do you think I could have my boyfriend back now?"
Regulus turns his head away in dismissiveness and James considers dropping him from his lap for it. But then Regulus will go back to ignoring him so he has little else to do but to keep on feeding him salami, while his mates keep mocking him for it.
–
It's a few days after that, that Regulus is still lounging in his cat form in their dorm. James knows he turns back to human form for his classes and when he’s in the Slytherin dungeons, but Regulus has been refusing to allow him even a glimpse.
"Are you sure it's Regulus?" Peter asks him one day. Regulus, looking at him with a deadpan expression, immediately jumps up and runs towards Sirius, climbing on Remus’ bed and slapping a tiny paw against his head, making him hiss.
"What the fuck?" Sirius yells.
James nods "Oh yeah, it's definitely Regulus"
–
"I will read to you" James promises in a hurried voice, kneeling on the floor next to the bed where Regulus is laying like a small cat king. The prick, "Every night, for a week"
Regulus looks at him unimpressed. Probably because it doesn't really take him much to convince James to do it when the mood strikes anyway. But James doesn't have a lot to go on here. There's not much he doesn't do for Regulus already. That’s his crime, apparently. Treating his boyfriend right.
"I will teach you that chaser move you've been pestering me about" that does manage to capture Regulus' attention, for all of five seconds before he decides it's not good enough.
"Ugh, Regulus, can you just– please ?" James is this close to pulling off his hair "I will not apologise because I was right" James will stick to his guns about this, although it ends up to be a moot point, since Regulus doesn't seem all that interested in that either.
"Really? Just– hypothetically . Not even that?"
If there's one thing he has learned from Regulus, besides love and affection, is that when bribery doesn't work, one has to resort to threats.
This is how his friends find him one hour later, red faced and making empty threats. He will hide his books, he says, and give Pandora a horrendous haircut while she sleeps. Reg doesn't even bother to acknowledge him anymore.
"Are you– James, are you negotiating with my baby brother? No, wait, actually… Are you negotiating with your boyfriend?"
" No" James emphasises "This is a cat" he point at Regulus who has the audacity to act offended, like he's not, quite literally, a fucking cat "My boyfriend is nowhere to be seen. And it seems like he has no plans of returning any time soon. Oh, what is a single, handsome man such as myself doing at this hour of need?" He tells Regulus "with no one to keep me company. I'm sure Melissa wouldn't mind to hang out for a few"
"Your funeral, Prongs" Remus mutters as he makes his way out "Just be careful he doesn't scratch your eyes out"
"He likes my eyes," James says absentmindedly.
" Melissa sure is quite pretty, isn't she just, Pads?" James makes no effort to hide his smirk as Regulus jumps at his feet, his black hairs raised, looking like he's about to attack.
"Oh, sure is, Prongs" Sirius smiles meanly down at his little brother, always the one ready to join him in their efforts to piss off Regulus. Even when it's not even about that. James just misses him. They have never gone this long in a fight, even if they're not technically fighting. Not if Regulus is here. He's just being a menace.
But Regulus doesn't turn back. Instead he thrashes in James' arms until he's forced to let him go for fear of getting scratched up, and makes a run for Remus' bed, hiding himself under the covers.
Sirius rolls his eyes and crosses his arms against his chest "That's my boyfriend's bed, you little–"
"Oh baby, I'm sorry, I was just kidding" James goes near, not touching, but making a circle with his arms to show him he wants to, "I don't even remember what Melissa looks like–" at the sound of her name Regulus makes a little hissing sound.
“You’re so weak” Sirius hisses.
"Do you want me to be mean to your brother, Pads? Is that what you want?"
Sirius narrows his eyes "I want to know that you can. You're a marauder, for fuck's sake"
James holds Regulus up so he can look at him, and he's definitely doing it on purpose now. The big eyes. Even his fur isn't his exact shade of his hair colour. But the eyes are identical. But never quite this big. And it tugs at his heartstrings.
James looks back at Sirius, helplessly
Sirius shrugs, only mildly disappointed, "Probably for the best. I would've had to kick you. Doesn't make you any less pathetic though"
"I can live with that" .
In the end he resigns to another night where he doesn't quite get to hold Regulus. He always feels better when he's there though, in any capacity, so he quickly falls asleep.
–
The next morning he wakes up nestled in a familiar warmth. One he hasn’t felt in nearly a week. James opens his eyes, delighted to be met with a narrowed, sleepy gaze. Regulus looks wholly unimpressed.
"Hey" James tugs one of his curls until he winces and then places it behind his ear "Decided to stop being mad at me?"
"Would I have cuddled with you as a cat if I was mad at you? That was embarrassing" Regulus points out and James kind of wants to cry with how much he had missed his voice. He has a feeling Regulus wouldn't appreciate that at the moment, though, so he swallows it down.
He must not be angry anymore if he's allowing James to kiss along his neck.
"Reg?"
"Hm?" He hums happily.
"You know I love your animagus form,right?" He trails his mouth downward pushing away his loose shirt -which is one of James' own and scrapes his teeth along his chest "But don't ever do that to me again"
"It was funny” He points out “You got so annoyed. And it helped you get your mind off things"
It takes a second to realise that he's right. Regulus is absolutely right. All these days he had been pissed off at him, sure, but also it had been a great way to cool off after their fight without needing to forgive each other yet or talk it out.
He climbs back up to bite at his ear "Two days maximum"
"James" Regulus whines in protest.
" Reg."
"...fine"