Chapter Text
Sapnap feels as if he has no purpose in life. He feels he’s just living, like some God above is controlling him and somehow getting him through each day. He wonders why said God forced him to move out on his own. Then again, it was his idea. Dream and George wanted to settle down and Sapnap had been done with college for a while now anyways. It was best Sapnap suggested he move out and make it on his own, rather than living under his best friend’s roof and letting him care for him. He’s twenty-four, maybe this was the step he needed to take to find his purpose in life.
The amber-haired man kicks the door open to carry another box into his kitchen. Soon, a certain blond and brunet follow right after him, carrying boxes into the bedroom. They exit right after to continue grabbing boxes to bring up from the moving truck. Dread fills Sapnap as he watches their backs disappear when the door closes behind them. He sighs, longing to have his old life back where they’d sit up and play games all night and laugh until they'd all be in tears. They were always the best distraction when he was stressed from all the schoolwork. He wonders how he even graduated since he spent most nights up with Dream and George.
He shakes his head as a way to stop his wandering mind and leaves the apartment to join Dream and George again. However, as he’s descending the steps, he feels a pair of eyes on him. He stops in his tracks and turns around, scanning the area until he spots bright blue eyes peeking at him from behind the apartment door to the left of his. Number twelve certainly has made an impression on him already—Sapnap shivers at how eerie the small child is. The amber-haired man immediately feels bad; the child simply could just be curious. He offers a wave as a sign of peace, resulting in the child opening the door even more. She reveals herself, showcasing her freckles, downturned eyes, and shoulder length brown hair. The little girl waves back at Sapnap with a soft smile on her face.
His eyes scan upwards. Sapnap can see slightly into the apartment now, and he immediately notices a tall man at the stove. He has brown hair that matches the little girl’s, a cedar brown rather than the usual dark umber people have. For some reason, Sapnap wonders if his eyes are as bright blue as the little girl’s.
He forces himself to turn away instead of invading the privacy of the man anymore than he already has. While jogging down the steps, his mind wanders to the family inside of apartment twelve, and more importantly, why the little girl was so interested in what was going on outside of the apartment. She should be more careful, Sapnap thinks.
He passes George on the way down. The brunet rushes out, “That’s the last of them. You can come back up.”
Dream rounds the corner, so Sapnap offers to take the last box from him. The blond allows him to do so, and they both walk back up together. The little girl is nowhere to be seen when they get back to his apartment. George deposits the box into the correct room while Sapnap places the last one onto the kitchen counter.
“Well, do you want us to stay and help you unpack?” Dream questions, placing his hands on his hips.
George inches closer to a box, waiting for Sapnap’s response. Sapnap shakes his head.
“No, I think I could use the time alone. It’ll allow me to think and get used to living alone.”
“Okay. We’re here if you need anything,” Dream assures, clapping a hand on Sapnap’s shoulder before pulling him into a side hug.
George offers a smile at first, then gives in and throws his arms around Sapnap. They squeeze the Texan tight, not letting go until he pulls away.
“See you. Love you, brother,” Dream says as they walk out the front door.
Sapnap takes a deep breath as silence surrounds him. He’s finally alone, for who knows how long. He’s wallowing in self-pity when a knock sounds on the door. He makes sure the box on the counter is stable before walking over to answer the front door. He’s shocked to find out it isn’t Dream or George on the other side of the door, having forgotten something. Instead, in front of him stands Karl Jacobs, a famous YouTuber and streamer Sapnap’s watched a few times, and below him, a little girl—the little girl from earlier, Sapnap realizes—is latched onto his leg. Karl must figure out Sapnap’s recognized him because his eyes go wide and he attempts to hide the girl’s face with his free hand. Still, the brunet speaks up.
“Hi, we live right beside you. Since you’re new here, we wanted to bring you some homemade pasta salad as an… apartment warming gift,” Karl announces, offering a tupperware bowl full of pasta salad. Sapnap accepts it immediately, his eyes never leaving Karl’s bright blue one’s. The brunet is even prettier in real life than through a screen, Sapnap’s stuck admiring and almost misses the rest of Karl’s introduction. As if Sapnap didn’t already know, Karl adds, “Oh, and my name is Karl Jacobs.”
He glances down at the little girl below him, then back at Sapnap. The amber-haired man can clearly see him accept defeat. “And this is Rory,” he says softly.
“No, my name is Aurora. My friends call me Rory, but you and I aren’t friends, so you can call me Aurora!” she exclaims, a prideful grin planted on her face. She crosses her arms for added effect. It causes Sapnap to laugh.
“I’m Sapnap,” he informs once his laughter subsides. The little girl, Aurora, furrows her eyebrows.
“Sapnap?” she questions. Sapnap laughs again and nods his head. He can tell she’s trying to figure the name out, he can basically hear the gears turning. She gives up. “What’s that mean?”
“It’s a nickname. It’s like ‘pandas,’ but backwards. Sadnap isn’t cool though.”
“Ah, I see,” she says, nodding her head. Sapnap nods along with her before his eyes slide back up and he makes eye contact with Karl. His cheeks instantly heat up out of embarrassment, but Karl only smiles at him.
“I have a friend called ‘Foolish,’” so the nickname isn’t weird,” Karl mentions as if Sapnap doesn’t already know this information. To make the man happy, he goes along with it.
“I have a friend named ‘Dream.’ It’s his online persona.” Karl’s eyebrows furrow as he ponders something. Then, his eyes widen. Sapnap nods and speaks before Karl can say anything else, “Yes, the Dream. We used to live together.”
“Why’d you move out?” Karl asks while Aurora tugs on his jeans. He places his hand on the back of her head, which instantly halts her movement. She calms down and rests against his leg, then peers up at Sapnap. They both listen intently as Sapnap speaks.
“He and his partner wanted to settle down. Plus, I need to find a part-time job until I can apply for interviews. It’s best I be on my own now so I can feel… accomplished.”
Aurora stares up at him, bewildered. Karl notices and pats her head. “Interviews for what?” he questions out of curiosity.
“Teaching. One of my best friends, George, is a teacher. He always says I’m following in his footsteps, but I chose this. It’s what I love doing, surprisingly,” Sapnap answers, scratching the back of his neck. Karl tilts his head to the side and his eyebrows pinch together. The shorter man has never seen such a cute sight.
“What grades are you going to teach?” the brunet wonders. For as cute as he is, he sure does ask a lot of questions, Sapnap notes. They just met, too. He must be interesting, or it’s the fact that he’s best friends with Dream. Sapnap hopes it isn’t the latter.
“Elementary school.”
Aurora gasps, “You could be my teacher! That'd be so cool.”
“Rory, you don’t even know him,” Karl laughs, and the sound hits Sapnap in the chest somehow.
Immediately crossing her arms, she lets out a scoff. It sounds so dainty coming from a child.
“Daddy, you don’t either and you keep asking him questions. It’s how you make friends,” Aurora states matter-of-factly.
Karl stands frozen with wide eyes and his mouth agape. Heat flushes his cheeks and nose, causing his freckles to become more evident. Sapnap’s eyes dart around his face, tracing as many freckles as he can with his eyes. Karl laughs softly and Sapnap swoons—hearing his laugh in real life is angelic, much better than through a phone or computer.
“Well, we best be leaving. Seems you have lots to do. See you around, neighbor.” Karl waves, followed by Aurora.
“Yeah, see you, not Sadnap!” Aurora exclaims before running off to the left. She disappears inside their apartment, leaving Karl alone with Sapnap.
Karl chuckles and runs a hand through his fluffy hair. “Sorry, she gets that from me. I don’t know how her humor is so developed at the age of six.”
“It’s okay. See you, Karl.”
Karl tips his head forward as a response, a soft smile gracing his lips. He walks down to his door, waves at Sapnap since he’s still watching, and enters his apartment. Sapnap closes the door and quickly sits down, his knees feeling weak. His head reels, nothing but images of Karl and his words appearing in his mind. The amber-haired man has to shake his head and groan in order to try and stop his brain from thinking of the pretty man with bright blue eyes.
Eventually, he stands up and starts unpacking as a distraction. It doesn’t help, Karl keeps finding his way into the Texan’s mind. He goes to bed with a smile, but wakes up at two in the morning with a frown.
He sits up in bed and slides his feet out of the blankets to dangle them off the side. His eyes squeeze shut as it hits him. He’s really out of his best friends’ house, and now he’s on his own. Trudging out of bed, he walks to the balcony and steps out onto it. He doesn’t shiver even though it’s fall, the Florida air withstands the cold. A sigh escapes his lips as he leans against the railing.
He admires the nightscape as reality continues to dawn on him. You’re alone. There is no going back. Hands grip the railing tightly and eyes squeeze shut as Sapnap tries to fight off his worst enemy—his mind. I’ve got this. I’m doing this for myself, to find my purpose. His defense is useless as his mind hounds him, using his doubt and fears against him. It’s only until another voice, one that isn’t his own, speaks up that brings him back to himself.
“Hey,” Karl Jacobs, his now savior, greets him gently. Right now, his voice is as dainty as Aurora’s, just more mature. “I can practically hear your thoughts from here. Wanna talk about it? I know we’ve just met and all, but I’m willing to listen.”
Sapnap sighs, nodding his head slowly. He doesn't question if Karl was spying on him. Instead, he spills his thoughts: “Have you ever felt as if you have no purpose in life? I feel that way, like I don’t really have control of my life.”
“I was that way before I started streaming and Aurora was born. They became my priorities, my purpose. You’ll find one too.” Karl lets go of the railing to brush hair out of his eyes. He quickly tacks on, “Is that also why you moved?”
“I-I guess it is. I need to make a name for myself,” Sapnap answers, his voice quiet. Karl can easily hear, the balconies mere inches away from one another.
The brunet matches his stance, leaning against the railing and grasping it with both hands. Sapnap offers a soft smile before a frown appears on his face. “This is going to sound weird, but… do you think I can do it?”
“I think you can do anything you set your mind on,” the taller one confesses.
A chuckle escapes Sapnap. “You don’t even know me,” Sapnap rebuttals, but no venom is laced in his voice.
Normally, one would feel weird about spilling their heart to a near-stranger. However, when Sapnap speaks to Karl, it feels as if he’s talking to the Universe. He’s thankful someone is listening to him.
Karl clicks his tongue. “I know you want to be a teacher, and that takes courage. I also know you have it in you.”
A genuine smile forms on Sapnap’s lips. He tilts his head as he stares at Karl, replaying his words in his mind. “You know what? I like you. Tell me about yourself,” Sapnap orders with a soft tone of voice.
So he does. They spend around thirty minutes on the balcony talking, getting to know each other. The Texan learns Karl is three years older than him at the age of twenty-seven, he’s been raising Aurora on his own for five years, and he hasn’t been in love again ever since his ex-girlfriend left him and Aurora. Sapnap would be shocked about how open he is, but all his brain screams at him is he’s single! Karl learns about Sapnap originally being from Texas, his life growing up, and him always having crushes but never actually falling in love. The two have smiles on their faces when they end their conversation to return to bed.
The next day, Sapnap spends his time scoping for a job. On the way out of his apartment to walk around town, he runs into Karl and Aurora. They exchange quick greetings and continue on to where they’re headed. The run-ins don’t stop there. They encounter each other multiple times at the apartment complex; three times outside of their apartment doors and once when first arriving at the building.
The first time, Aurora loves to chat. She doesn’t stop talking to Sapnap as Karl wiggles the key in the doorknob, and Sapnap, he stands there with a dopey grin, listening intently and responding the best he can. He learns about her squishmallow collection and her Barbie dolls’ names. Karl apologizes for her behavior once he gets the door open and she darts inside.
The second time, Karl is carrying shopping bags from the mall and Sapnap offers to help carry some. The amber-haired man gets to go inside of Karl’s apartment. A flush takes over his face and his hands start to shake, along with a feeling in his stomach that is similar to butterflies. He quickly leaves the apartment and escapes down the hall to his own.
The third time, Sapnap starts to believe these are questionable occurrences. They keep running into each other and falling into conversation—it’s gotten weird. This time, though, it’s when they’re first arriving at the apartment complex. They’re forced to climb the stairs together, resulting in small talk. Sapnap talks about his job hunt failure and admires Aurora’s hand in Karl’s. They’re all happy when they walk into their respective apartments.
Their run-ins spread to outside their apartment complex, too. Sapnap’s at a coffee shop one day when Karl and Aurora walk in. She spots Sapnap and beams, lighting up like a firework. Her energy is like a firework, too, as she springs forward and sprints over to the amber-haired man. Karl has to hold her shoulders to keep her calm, and she ropes Karl into having coffee with the Texan.
Next, at the supermarket, Sapnap rolls his cart onto the same aisle Karl is on. Aurora is the first to spot him, again, and casually strolls over to inspect his cart. She asks questions about what he’s making with all the different types of food in his shopping cart, and then asks if she can sit in it—both Karl and Sapnap agree and Karl follows the amber-haired man around until they finish shopping. They arrive at the apartment complex at the same time, too, and have a short conversation up the stairs—this was the most recent encounter, and Sapnap’s favorite.
They’ve grown closer with these run-ins, it's like they're drawn to each other. Sapnap sits on his balcony now, admiring the night sky and thinking of the small family that lives beside him. Something fills his chest, a warm and bubbly feeling that makes him feel as if he’s floating. Hope. Hope lies in his chest, and he believes this—his friendships with Karl and Aurora—is meant to be.