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Despite the recent events regarding Atsushi and even Kyouka, the Armed Detective Agency's members don't get abducted often. At least, not without it being planned out prior to that.
So when Dazai was suddenly kidnapped out of the blue, and in the middle of a mission with the Port Mafia no less, those involved immediately set out to search for him. The detectives were even surprised by how willingly the mafiosos helped them, but then again, one of them was Akutagawa, who was the biggest Dazai stan in Yokohama, and the other was Higuchi, who was the biggest Akutagawa fangirl in existence so she followed his orders.
None of them expected for the Black Lizard to get involved, but apparently Mori had gotten news that Dazai was kidnapped and had sent them in for the retrieval. Chuuya would have been sent in their place had he not been in Tokyo at the moment the extraction mission was supposed to take place.
Except they didn't even get the chance to act on it before an email to the Agency's address was sent with a link for a live stream with the ominous message of inviting the detectives and their 'foolish' allies to watch the show as one of their own was supposedly broken and made to spill all of their secrets.
Dazai was chained up against a well, hands kept far apart on either side of his head. A woman none of them recognized was talking to him as she injected a strange syringe into his neck. Yosano was already making mental preparations for possibly having to deal with whatever drug her colleague had been injected with.
"This is the strongest non-Ability-based truth serum in the world," the woman said loud enough for the camera to pick up, making everyone ball up fists or clench jaws. "I've heard rumors about you, you know. Rumors that say that even though you don't have that new surveillance system Eyes of God, you're still the person who has the most information in Yokohama about anything. They say you know secrets that could topple the government or any and every crime syndicate running around on the streets or in the underworld. So we developed this special serum just~ for~ you~!" Dazai just gave her a blank look. "It's fast acting, too, so I should already be able to ask you just about anything, Dazai Osamu, and you won't be able to lie to me. And the dosage I gave you should last for hours! Oh, all the secrets I'll find out in that time!"
If it was possible, Dazai's face became emptier of emotion by the second.
At one point, Akutagawa stiffened while watching his former mentor. Hirotsu and Gin weren't far behind, to the confusion of Higuchi and the rest of the Black Lizard.
The woman remained oblivious. "So! Why don't we start with something simple, just to test it out, hmm? Tell me, what's your name?"
Without missing a beat, Dazai replied. "Kunikida Doppo."
"... What?" The woman asked while the mentioned man just gawked. Ranpo narrowed his eyes in thought while the rest of the Agency and some of their Mafia allies frowned in confusion.
Dazai tilted his head. "Or was it Izumi Kyouka? How about Fyodor Dostoevsky? Oh! Maybe I'm Akutagawa Ryunosuke!"
"... What's going on?" The woman turned towards someone outside of the camera's frame, looking angry and confused. "The serum should have started working already!"
"Ne, ne, miss~?" The singsong was so menacing that a shiver ran down the spines of the people watching the live footage as well as the woman they were seeing on the screen. "Why don't you ask me a few more questions? I've heard that trying to resist a truth serum could cause a heart attack and that you could die from it. And I'm always looking for new ways to commit suicide!"
"Shut up!" She snapped before someone seemed to have told her something and then she sauntered back over to Dazai, far more confident than she had been when questioning why Dazai had been able to lie earlier. "Okay, so the serum might have needed a minute or so longer to really work. So let's try this again, shall we? What's your name? Your real name?"
"Ah, let's see, last week I pretended to be the Chibi because I stole his wallet, and yesterday I drained some money from Mori-san's account to buy a cake for Ranpo-san, but I don't suppose that makes me either of them. Who am I, you ask? That's very easy! I'm Hirotsu Ryurou. Or am I Higuchi? How about Tanizaki Junichiro?"
"That's impossible! And stop talking so much! Just answer my damn questions!" She took a deep breath before asking again. "What is your name?"
Dazai looked her dead in the eyes and said, "Yosano Akiko."
"ARGH!"
"Ne, ne? Do you want to know a secret?"
"I don't understand, it should be working! You even cracked enough to shamelessly tell me about stealing other people's money!"
"Oh, you thought that was me cracking?" Dazai asked back, watching the frustrated woman impassively. "No, that was me annoying you. I like to annoy people; I find their reactions amusing. Now, why don't you ask a stupider, more obvious question? I mean, for all you know, the name you've found out might not even be my real name but an alias."
"Stupider, obvious question? Like what?"
Dazai sighed. It was a full body sigh that expressed his clear disappointment and boredom. "Must I interrogate myself? Such a waste of time. Now, Maki-chan-" the woman's mouth dropped open at what appeared to be her name falling from Dazai's mouth. "Why don't you ask me what color is the sky? I really want you to ask me the color of the sky right now," Dazai said with a smirk and the woman, Maki, took an uneasy step away from him before remembering herself and glaring at her captive.
"Alright, wise guy, what is the color of the sky? I want a factually proven and generally known answer using only one word and a primary color."
"There's still a lot of space for interpretation there, but whatever. I say the sky is green."
"... W-what color is the sky?"
"Green."
"How is this possible?!"
"Still want to know a secret, Maki-chan~?" Singsonged the restrained detective, eyes glinting dangerously. "There is no real truth serum that's not based on an Ability of some sort; the only thing humans can produce in chemical labs is something that erases all inhibitions, tricking the brain-to-mouth filter into inactivity as you blurt out the first thought that comes to mind under the influence of the serum. It raises your blood pressure and heart rate, causes adrenaline to spike and the body to experience something like a high. It's fairly effective, of course, and had your prisoner been anyone but me, your little plan and serum would have worked. However, you're unfortunate enough that I have not only a high drug, alcohol and pain tolerance, but I can also control my heart rate. Without my heart pumping like crazy, the nervous system receives the signals that there's no need for extra adrenaline as I'm calm, thus it's no longer secreted into my bloodstream. There's no need to prepare for a fight or flight response. I'm just chilling here, waiting for backup."
"No way, no way something like that is possible! No normal person can control their heart!" Maki denied but Dazai just shrugged. Like it's completely normal for him to be able to do that.
Yosano made a note to pay extra close attention to his heart the next time she does a check up on him.
"Well, I'm not exactly normal. And I'm bored now."
"Do you expect me to entertain you?" She spat but Dazai didn't respond to her with words.
Instead, he snapped his fingers.
The Agency, Higuchi and Tachihara watched flabbergasted as the shackles holding his wrists suddenly fell to the floor with an audible clink.
Dazai lands perfectly on his feet, dusting himself off before even acknowledging the now scared looking woman he's standing in front of. "Oh? Now what's that expression on your face? Didn't you want to get to know me, Maki-chan~? To see why a Port Mafia traitor can walk freely on the streets without someone gunning for his head?"
"S-stay away from me, d-demon!"
Dazai laughed chillingly. Gin and Higuchi, who were the last to hear that laugh in recent memory, shivered. "I haven't been called that in four years!" The laugh stopped and all amusement left Dazai's entire being. Like it had never been there to begin with. Like a switch had been flipped and turned it off. "Why don't I demonstrate why I got it in the first place?"
At this point, the camera was knocked over by whoever had been behind it rushing out of there in fear. All the spectators could see now was Dazai's and the woman's feet as she tried to scramble away from him but Dazai just moved, as though he'd glided over water, it was so effortlessly elegant and he was in front of her in a second. She screamed and turned to run, managing just to get out of the frame before Dazai seemingly tackled(?) her fully out of the frame. There was a scuffle, grunts, thumping and then silence.
A few moments later, some sort of heavy doors groaned as they were pushed open and that's when Ranpo took out his glasses and activated his 'Ability'. A second later ... "I know where he is."
With the reluctant assistance of the Black Lizard, the Agency and said squad arrived at the scene just as Dazai casually walked out of an abandoned warehouse in the unused part of the docks, fifteen minutes later. Hirotsu and the Akutagawas greeted him respectfully but he only returned a nod, eyes glancing between all the gathered faces in disinterest. The detectives were a bit thrown off by the sudden change in demeanor to the point Dazai was so cold with them that he was looking down at them as though they were bugs crawling underneath his new expensive shoes.
"I-I guess I'll go report this to the Boss," Higuchi stammered out as Dazai breezed past the Black Lizard as though he was passing by some flowers and not trained merciless killers.
"Should we call in clean-up?" Tachihara asked, uneasy and unsure.
"No need," the brunet former captive replied, glancing over his shoulder. "They're all alive, just a bit roughened up, unconscious or restrained. The police should be more than adequate to deal with them."
An unknown lump fell from the Agency members' throaths, allowing them to breathe properly again. Kunikida then proceeded to nag at Dazai about being more careful and not to get kidnapped so often because it disrupts his schedule. Dazai made some comment, the doom and gloom around him finally seeming to let up, and that particular comment set Kunikida off as he made to slap Dazai over the head, as he was wont to do on the regular.
Only the hand never connected.
In fact, the only thing that did connect was Kunikida's face with the pavement as Dazai restrained him on his stomach, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
Then Dazai blinked and got off of his work partner. "Oh. So that's how it decided to affect me."
"... I'm calling Chuuya-san," Hirotsu said with a sigh as Gin and Akutagawa moved to form a bit of a barrier between the now volatile(?) brunet and pretty much everyone else.
"What was that just now?" Yosano demanded over Gin's shoulder, ignoring the deadly glare the assassin was sending her.
"Wow, I never knew Dazai-san had it in him to flip Kunikida-san!" Kenji, the innocent bean, commented with a big smile.
Dazai seemingly couldn't not look away with a bit of a twist to his lips.
"Dazai, you bastard, when I get my hands on you-"
"Move," Akutagawa commanded coldly, Rashoumon coming to life when Kunikida approached after picking himself up from where Dazai had sprawled him out like a picnic blanket.
"Are you threatening us?" Tanizaki demanded. "So you're breaking the treaty?"
"Actually, it's for your own safety," Dazai surprised them by saying. "Currently, I don't know how I'll react to the things I usually let happen around the Agency. For now, it'd be best not to startle or touch me without previous explicit permission. I'd rather not hurt someone by accident."
"You, hurt someone? With those noodle arms?" Yosano tried to joke but Dazai didn't laugh and Kunikida and Akutagawa both winced at the 'noodle arms' comment considering they'd both been on the receiving end of the hidden strength in them, the blond just seconds ago. "Okay, shit, you're serious."
"I'm stronger than I look," Dazai said with a shrug. "Also, I carry guns, knives, bombs and scalpels on me most of the time. I recently even got myself a taser, but it's kind of instinct to go for the deadlier things so it really would be for the best not to set me off right now."
"S-so what do we do?" Atsushi asked, squirming in place beside Kyouka at this new strange turn of events.
"Chuuya-san should be back in an hour," Hirotsu, the resident saint of Soukoku shenanigans, said as he ended the call. "In the meantime, I suggest you take Dazai-san out of a dangerous environment and leave him alone until this either wears off or Chuuya-san arrives."
"How are we supposed to keep him in a safe environment if your strongest hitter is coming to us?" Kunikida asked, eyeing the mafioso suspiciously.
"Chuuya-san is, I believe, the only person Dazai-san would never accidentally or purposefully snap at," was all the explanation the old man gave and Dazai just nodded to confirm this. "I'll inform the Boss to keep things quiet for a while. We'll try to keep trouble away from the Agency. Meanwhile, Dazai-san, for the sake of your colleagues, I suggest you hand over your weapons."
And so he did. And so he was escorted back to the Agency, not only just by the other detectives who'd come to rescue him, but also by a contingent of mafia gunmen. The Black Lizard had to stay behind to clean up the mess Dazai made even though no one was dead, but Akutagawa followed after them, too, keeping a sharp eye on his mentor so he can prevent the repeat of another Kunikida situation while also doing his best to ignore everyone else asking him questions and bickering with Atsushi. The mafisos, save Akutagawa, didn't follow them into the building, let alone the office, but rather stayed outside. Akutagawa, though, ended up being checked out by Yosano for his constant coughing and getting some better suited medicine to deal with it.
Dazai, though, couldn't seem to relax like he normally would; he didn't play any video games, he didn't nap, he didn't read his suicide book, he didn't listen to music, nothing. While he had managed to joke around with his colleagues on the way to the Agency to lessen the tensions running through the whole group and not just because they were surrounded by armed Port Mafia grunts, the elegant, deadly way Dazai held himself didn't change even when the others started laughing, joking and just chatting among themselves or with him.
He was so high strung that he couldn't even enjoy that, so far, no one reacted negatively to the fact that he'd been hiding just how skilled or strong he actually was. He couldn't even silently celebrate that Yosano hadn't tried to examine him. Dazai is not sure how he'd react to any doctor approaching him right now, let alone one once trained by Mori.
"So, Dazai," Ranpo, of course, had to invade the little bubble everyone had left Dazai in until a certain red haired mafioso could arrive and deal with Dazai in the way only his partner could. It wasn't even something special Chuuya could do that made him invaluable and priceless in this situation, but rather what Dazai won't do if he's around his partner. "How come you can still lie despite supposedly being under a truth serum? They seemed pretty convinced and confident that it should work-"
"It worked," Dazai reassured. "I just don't really function like a normal human being. The serum is affecting me, just not the way it was intended."
"Oh? How can you be sure?"
The brunet pursed his lips. "I'll explain once Chibi is here. I'd really rather not explain twice."
"Explain what?" A new voice asked and the Agency members watched in disbelief as Dazai deflated in obvious relief as Nakahara Chuuya, Port Mafia Executive and one of the most deadly Ability users in the country, if not in the whole world, sauntered in like he owned the place, blue eyes already focusing on Dazai and no one else. "Alright, shitty mackerel, this better not be a prank, but Hirotsu-san called me back from Tokyo because you were apparently injected with some sort of truth serum? Only you, Dazai. Now, why am I here? Because I rather doubt you're about to spill your guts to me even with a truth serum in your bloodstream."
"Yeah, the serum isn't reacting the way everyone thought it would."
"Of course it's not," the redhead said with a roll of his eyes before he plopped onto the couch beside Dazai. "It's you. So, how's it reacting instead?"
"I think a demonstration would be the best way to explain that." Then Dazai stood up and produced from within his coat none other than Kunikida's beloved notebook of ideals and opened a very specific page before he started reading. Kunikida reacted practically by instinct and lunged at Dazai, only to end up floored again, winded and restrained.
The Mafia's martial arts expert arched an eyebrow at his partner. "Okay? So the lessons from when we were sixteen stuck? What's so special about this?"
"What's special," Dazai began as he forced himself to let go of Kunikida and even helped him back to his feet, returning the notebook to him. "Is that usually I don't bother to dodge or defend myself."
"The hell? Dazai-"
"He doesn't kick nearly as hard as you so I really don't bother beyond making sure he doesn't actually hurt me," Dazai interrupted, sitting back down next to Chuuya. "Now, I can't ignore it. My body reacts on its own, by instinct and learned habits."
"So, let me get this straight," Chuuya began after a moment of thought. "You can still lie but your body can't?"
"Precisely," the genius replied, well aware everyone was very attentively listening to him. "I can say the most absurd shit that couldn't be true even on an alien planet or an alternate universe, like: Chuuya is an actual, literal slug, and, as you can see, it's as easy as breathing for me, because the truth serum usually relies on erasing inhibitions and reservations, making you blurt out the first thing on your mind. This is ineffective on someone like me for three reasons: my mind is in overdrive on a good day, I have a high tolerance and resistance to drugs and poisons due to the shit I do to myself every once in a while and I have full control of my heartbeat and bodily reactions, meaning I can consciously control at least half of the things that would be influenced by the serum. However, because I now have to actively focus on not blurting out any of the thousands of secrets I have-"
"You can't control instincts and learned habits that kept you alive during our teen years," Chuuya finished for him with a nod. "Yeah, makes sense. A fucked up sort of sense, but it really does make sense. So you react this way to any perceived threat?"
"More or less," the brunet replied with a sigh. "I nearly killed three dozen men today, hatrack. I had to hand over all my weapons so I don't accidentally kill an innocent civilian that bumps into me on the street or an ally."
The gravity manipulator snorted at that. "You honestly expect me to believe you don't have at least one gun and one blade on you? Dazai, I know you. You don't shit without a weapon on your person and at least three escape routes."
Dazai kinda looked a bit guilty at that as he reached into his shoe and pulled out a knife and two scalpels, before taking out a miniature gun from a hidden pocket in his vest. Chuuya jerked away in surprise upon seeing it. "Shit, your execution gun? Damn, you're serious when you say you can't control it, huh?"
"Execution gun?" A green in the face Atsushi asked with a gulp.
"Yeah, in case Dazai has to get in close and personal," the Executive explained. "Or if someone gets around me and Dazai has to defend himself. Or if we're at a negotiations meeting but the other side decide to say fuck it and try to kill us, specifically Dazai."
"In case you're confused by that, negotiation meetings are supposed to be done without weapons," Dazai explained at the questioning looks from the teenagers sans Kyouka. "Chuuya can turn practically bulletproof but I'm as defenseless against guns as any non-Ability user, so I rely on Chuuya for protection. However, when he's too busy or someone sneaks up behind him, I have to rely on ordinary weapons and my own skills. Hence why Chuuya trained me in basic self-defense and hand to hand combat or using a knife. It's a habit to never go anywhere without at least one gun and one bladed weapon," he said with a shrug. "It became especially so after I left the Mafia and didn't have Chuuya to rely on."
"So you called him today because you trust him to protect you," Ranpo said more than questioned and Dazai nodded.
"Yup."
"You trust him more than us?" Yosano asked, acting offended. The joking undertones vanished, however, at how swiftly Dazai confirmed this. Chuuya puffed up his chest almost unconsciously, preening. "The hell, Dazai?"
"Hey," the brunet replied defensively. "When any of you fight a freaking dragon for me and defend me against Cthulhu or Guivre or any other number of freaks of nature we've fought since we were fifteen, you can complain about my trust in Chuuya's ability to keep me safe. If we didn't have him here, sooner rather than later, I'd snap and bodies would drop to the floor. I'm a trained killer, no matter how much I don't look it. I'm no assassin, but I've caused the downfall of hundreds of organizations and my kill count makes Kyouka-chan's seem like child's play, on top of it being done with ordinary weapons and not an Ability. Chuuya's here to keep you lot safe from me and my paranoia, not the other way around."
"Though if you tried it," the ginger haired mafioso said in a dangerous, threatening voice. "You'd get the chance to learn what it feels like to be crushed by vicious gravity."
"You threatened me that once already," countered Ranpo in the tense silence. "Yet you ended up being in a book for days, if not over a week."
Chuuya shrugged. "Not only do you no longer have that book here, but I also operate on a completely different mindset around this bastard," he said with a jab of his finger towards the taller man sitting next to him. "He's the most infuriating person I know so no one else can annoy me more than him, thus you can't actually distract me from a fight, and you better hope you don't actually anger me. People who do don't live to tell the tale."
"Besides me."
"Besides Dazai," corrected himself Chuuya with an eye roll.
"But you're always angry when Dazai is mentioned," the world's greatest detective stated.
Chuuya narrowed his eyes but Dazai was the one to answer, waving him off. "The Chibi was only truly angry with me once when we were fifteen. It lasted a couple of months until I dragged him out to the arcade again and we just continued bickering ever since. But other than that, he's only annoyed with me. However, none of you have ever seen him truly angry. The last person who did was Shibusawa, I think?" Chuuya nodded. "I don't know how that actually works because I think he was already dead when we destroyed his organization and Chuuya blew him up with a graviton bomb," he said with a frown. "That was a weird night, now that I think about it."
"Yeah, no shit."
"Wait, you fought Shibusawa before?" Kunikida asked and the duo nodded. "When?"
"And how are you guys even alive?" Atsushi asked, to which Akutagawa snorted but didn't elaborate when everyone turned to look at him.
"What? You guys never heard of the Dragon Head conflict, six years ago?" Chuuya asked condescendingly.
Ranpo's jaw already dropped, some final pieces seeming to fall into place.
"Dragon Head conflict?" Tanizaki echoed, confused.
"The Dragon Head conflict was a big gang war, so to say, that happened six years ago. It lasted a total of 88 bloody days and ended on the night Soukoku destroyed an enemy organization of Ability users for the Port Mafia in a single night," Kyouka explained, sounding like she was reciting something from a textbook. More jaws dropped, except for Akutagawa, who was recruited around that time so he knew about it already in great detail. "The casualties were great for all parties involved, as well as for civilians. The Port Mafia even suffered the death of an Executive. They were still the only ones to benefit from the resolution of the conflict, as that was when the Demon Prodigy became the youngest Executive in Port Mafia's history, bringing about what is to this day considered Port Mafia's golden age, increasing their influence and spreading their territory."
Chuuya whistled. "Ane-san would be proud, Kyouka-chan." The girl blushed delicately and thanked him.
"So Shibusawa was part of it?" Kunikida questioned, having already known about the conflict itself but many of the details remained a mystery even for the Armed Detective Agency.
"Yup," came the answer from their resident suicide enthusiast. "He just showed up, like, in the last week or so and started killing indiscriminately for the government. That's around the time I met him. He sure was surprised when No Longer Human protected me and Hirotsu-san, who was nearby, from his fog. His fault for getting touchy feely with a stranger," he said with another shrug. "Also his fault for targeting the Port Mafia and killing the Chibi's friends. Death by a black hole doesn't seem like a nice way to go."
"... Wait," Yosano suddenly exclaimed, sounding strangled. "Are you guys insinuating you're the infamous devastating rivals, the greatest duo, the worst and best partners in history, Soukoku?"
Chuuya and Dazai shared a look. "I thought it was obvious?"
"I mean, I do call Atsushi-kun and Akutagawa-kun Shin Soukoku," the brunet said with another shrug.
"Great detective work, really," came the sarcastic remark from the mafia half of Shin Soukoku, clearly unimpressed.
The better part of the Agency just paled as they realized in just how much danger they were with Dazai seemingly unable to control the impulse to protect himself from perceived dangers. Kunikida, the usual source of many of Dazai's bruises, looked ready to keel over.
Chuuya just watched it all, unimpressed with how much his partner had been able to fool the detectives. It was their own fault for falling for a seemingly flawless mask. Even the short detective with the pretend-Ability, who was supposedly able to see through anything and deduce anything with the smallest of clues. Not that the redhead could really blame him, or any of them. Dazai's masks were meant to let nothing through, to make sure nothing and no one could see the truth behind the veneer of humanity Dazai clinged to most days. Or the mask let through what Dazai wanted it to, nothing more or less than what was calculated to get a certain result.
Unfortunately for Dazai, there were still a few people on Earth who simply knew him too well to fall for his masks. Chuuya was just one of them, the only person left whom Dazai let see behind it. After all, Chuuya had been there through it all, except Dazai's last few weeks in the Mafia. The four years they were apart didn't really matter, because they both knew they couldn't change so fundamentally that they're no longer the fifteen year old boys playing in an arcade and being exploited for their Abilities and intellect or loyalty. The darkness within Dazai, that yawning chasm of nothingness, it was still there, just covered by a socially more acceptable mask. Chuuya had only needed a few seconds to see through it and then to confirm it. The incident with Q was possibly the best example that Chuuya's personally witnessed so far.
The only thing holding Dazai back is whatever had chased him out of the Port Mafia. Chuuya had a few guesses, given he knew Dazai lost his only two friends practically in the same day. Ango may be a traitor but the real troublesome thing had been the death of Oda Sakunosuke. Besides Chuuya and Mori and possibly Dostoevsky, he had been the only one who had managed to understand Dazai and not be repulsed by what he found.
And given that he did not kill despite being a mafioso and far more skilled than the station he ended up having until death, Chuuya could guess that he had some dying wish or message for Dazai that Dazai now respected like gospel, or to the best of his ability, anyways.
This serum and the way it was affecting Dazai was endangering that and the (former) Demon Prodigy was clearly not pleased with that. He might even be scared that he won't be able to hold back the next time, hence why he wants Chuuya around.
Chuuya was Dazai's shield, his partner, the one in charge of Dazai's safety. It used to be 24/7 and they were somehow slowly building back up to that as they both make an effort to reconcile and fix things, to stop their relationship, whatever it might be at this point, from turning toxic due to bitterness or pettiness. Dazai had even been the one to suggest they go slow at it all, saying he didn't know where this road might take them but that he'd like to reach the destination together. It had touched Chuuya more than he'd ever admit to the brunet but it made forgiving Dazai easier by the day. The fact that they've actually been actively trying since the so-called Dead Apple debacle only ensured that, one day soon, Soukoku will be stronger than ever and Chuuya knew it was partially because of Dostoevsky or whatever other Great Evil Dazai had predicted might come to Yokohama. He didn't mind; he only cared about keeping all of his loved ones close and safe.
And while Mori might think that chasing Dazai out of the Armed Detective Agency would push him back into Port Mafia's waiting arms, they'll all just lose Dazai if he doesn't return, which he won't, because even with Chuuya right there, Dazai was arguably one of the most dangerous Ability users this side of the world. Not even just because of No Longer Human, but because of Dazai.
If the government can't control him or keep track of him, they might just attempt to kill him.
Dazai had already warned that the same might apply for Chuuya and Dazai, damn him, is never wrong.
So Chuuya was here for multiple reasons and all of them involved stopping Dazai from facing certain consequences caused by the life and lie he's lived so far. He's here to protect Dazai's colleagues or anyone stupid or innocent enough who might try to test him while the Demon Prodigy is lurking just beneath his skin and he's here to protect Dazai from even coming into such a situation in the first place, as well as whatever oath is keeping him on the side of goody-goodies.
That Dazai even trusted him with such a precarious situation is miraculous enough. Chuuya will not fail.
"So, how long is this thing even supposed to last?" He asked to break the tense silence that enveloped everyone upon realizing just how little they knew what exactly Dazai was capable of.
Dazai could only shrug. "Possibly an entire day, if not longer. The woman 'interrogating' me," he added an eye roll and air quotes, making Chuuya snort at the still absurd idea that anyone could interrogate Dazai instead of ending up being interrogated themself without realizing. It's something no one ever learned and always fell for. Fair, Chuuya did, too, though he's aware of what's happening, at least, and he knows it can't be avoided. He just goes with the flow so Dazai doesn't resort to crueler means. Chuuya had seen him destroy someone with words multiple times before and would rather never become a victim. "Seemed confident we'd have a lot of time to have fun."
"Damn, I almost pity her."
"They even thought they could hold me in handcuffs! In just handcuffs. It was pathetic." But he frowned, clearly displeased about something. "I freed myself prematurely, though. I could have gotten way more information out of her, but my body just reacted. It's annoying."
"So how do you plan to deal with this?" The resident doctor asked skeptically.
"He'll stay with me, of course," Chuuya said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "It's the least risky and by far the safest option. For everyone."
"You're not worried at all that you and Dazai-san might get into a fight?" Kenji asked and Chuuya just smiled at the kid reassuringly.
"Dazai and I get a whole lot better behind closed doors than people might think."
"Kinky," Yosano said flatly and both halves of Soukoku blushed at that, not daring to glance at each other. But it seemed that the serum even affected these kinds of reactions in Dazai. Chuuya took note of that to exploit while the serum was still in effect. He had to admit he was starved of Dazai's genuine reactions.
Dazai, on the other hand, was dying inside and contemplated just jumping out the window. Four stories might not kill him, but it might knock him out long enough for the serum to run its course. His body should break it down faster than a 'normal' person's would, but until then, he was at the mercy of his rare few and muted emotions finally making themselves known.
"You know what else is kinky, Yosano-sensei?" He asked instead, deciding he won't be the only one embarrassed. "Your interest in a certain deadly lady-"
Yosano moved without thinking and made to slap a hand over his mouth, only for Chuuya to plant himself in between them, stopping Dazai from accidentally shooting Yosano. The doctor blinked in surprise, not having expected such a swift reaction. Dazai also blinkex, not having expected his own swift reaction. He had almost forgotten what it feels like to be this on guard.
Yosano blinked again and stepped back when Chuuya let go of her hand. "Right. Yeah, you best take him somewhere away from people," she said with a pointed glance at the gun. Such a small thing yet so deadly. "Damn, I never knew you were this trigger happy, Dazai."
"There's a reason I try not to carry guns," Dazai said sheepishly in response, hiding away the gun again. "I needed two years in the Agency to unlearn the urge to just shoot a threat. Or torture people for information."
Tanizaki gulped. "And that was ... normal? Before?"
"You probably don't want to know the answer to that question," both Chuuya and Dazai answered at the same time with Akutagawa nodding along in the background. "Anyways, we'll be off now," Chuuya said as he grabbed Dazai by the wrist and started dragging him out of the office. "You'll get the shitty bastard once he's back to as normal as he can be."
"Try not to call, I don't think I'll answer," the brunet called back in a rare moment of honesty. They stayed quiet until they got out of the building. Dazai deadpanned when he saw the familiar hot pink motorcycle parked out front. "You can't be serious."
"What? You rode behind me before," pointed out the shorter male. "You never had a problem with it before!"
"I never expressed a problem with it before," corrected the detective. It wasn't even the speed or the danger of such an unprotected vehicle. It was the way Dazai would need to be pressed up against Chuuya and hold on tight that was the problem. He feared he might like it too much and never want to let go. Or have and even more embarrassing reaction that might end in Chuuya never speaking to him again. Unlikely, but it could happen. Things were still too fragile between them on the personal planes of their partnership. Dazai didn't want to lose Chuuya over something like this.
The redhead frowned at him, now even more confused and intrigued by Dazai's behavior. "Are you scared or nauseous or something? I can go slow-"
"Not helping, Chibi," Dazai said through grit teeth as he felt himself blush. I can go slow, really, what was he thinking of putting it like that? It almost sounded like- 'No, get yourself together, Dazai, it's not like that, you perv!' He almost slapped himself, too, his body far too honest and on the verge of creating a whole other mess and an even greater problem that he'll have to clean up once the serum wears off. Because right now, he almost feels like a teenager again, as though hormones were rampaging through his body.
Gods, he hopes he doesn't end up acting like his teenage self!
He'd confessed his feelings to fifteen year old Chuuya hours after meeting him!
He still isn't sure how he feels that Chuuya thought it was a joke at the time, though his teenage self in the following years had been relieved. Emotional vulnerability was a big no-no for the Demon Prodigy.
What does it say about Dazai of the present that he still doesn't like being emotionally vulnerable but that he's still trying, anyways? He hopes it's a good thing. His emotions are severely stunted by nature, he's never been one to easily feel things as intensely as other people, and the Mafia and Mori especially made it worse but it used to help him survive. It's still useful today, when he needs to deal with shitheads like Demon Fyodor or that bastard Shibusawa who's hopefully dead once and for all this time around. But he also didn't want to be emotionally unavailable for people he cares about, Chuuya especially.
Chuuya, more than anyone else, deserves for Dazai to muster up honesty in his emotions around him.
Still, he feels this is too much honesty, too soon.
"Then I don't see the problem-"
"Of course you don't, I wouldn't have expected anything else from a slug."
Chuuya glared at him but didn't take the bait. "I just had to fly out after a tiresome mission in Tokyo for your sake, so if you could just tell me what's wrong with riding on my motorcycle all of a sudden-" Then he suddenly stops, as if realizing something. It makes Dazai wish Chuuya was actually as stupid as Dazai said he was when he's trying to rile the redhead up. Unfortunately, Chuuya is probably smarter than average but falls into Dazai's shadow because he wasn't an outright genius. Dazai likes to tease his partner because Chuuya has the best reactions, but if anyone tried the same, Dazai fears what his reaction might be in this state. "Is it all the ... proximity? I know you usually don't like physical contact that much ... Damn, I should have noticed back then that you were uncomfortable!"
"... I never minded with Chuuya," he felt the need to confess, not liking that Chuuya was kicking himself over Dazai being a little fucked up. And he was honest. Physical contact with Chuuya, especially skin to skin which usually made his skin crawl with anyone else, was one of the rare few 'luxuries' he enjoyed back then, a phenomenon that never developed with anyone else, even Odasaku. "I guess I fear I might not want to let go."
"... When we get to my place, I'm going to cuddle the shit out of you, stinky mackerel," vowed the other and Dazai couldn't help either the grin on his lips or the blush on his cheeks. Damn truth serum.
But with that more or less resolved, the pair got onto the bike and zoomed off into the sunset, so to speak. Chuuya didn't comment on Dazai holding onto him tighter than ever before, even the first time they rode like this, and the taller one was grateful. In turn, he didn't comment on Chuuya moving a hand and interlocking their fingers on any and all stop lights and going slower than usual to prolong the ride and the 'hug'. Neither mentioned how they stayed on the bike, in that same position, for an entire minute after they arrived and Chuuya killed the engine, or how their shoulders brushed the entire way up in the elevator. They didn't mention how they held hands, initiated by Dazai, on the short trek to Chuuya's penthouse apartment, nor how they only reluctantly let go when Chuuya forced Dazai out of his coat so he can settle down and relax behind locked doors.
There, in the safety of a secure penthouse only the most idiotic would try to attack, with Chuuya puttering about in the kitchen, Dazai finally let himself relax, his instincts quieting and letting him rest.
This, unfortunately, brought on a whole other bout of problems.
Namely, now that he was no longer in a hyper-alert state even compared to his usual state of being, the exhaustion hit his body and he turned nearly into a pile of mush on Chuuya's comfortable, expensive couch, letting out a wide, loud yawn and barely being able to keep his eyes open.
Then his stomach growled, the traitor, reminding him he hadn't had anything to eat in a while.
And to top it all off, he licked and smacked his lips, thirsty.
To his eternal shame, a certain gravity manipulator was witness to it all. With crossed arms and a chastising scowl, Chuuya asked, "When was the last time you ate? Or actually slept?" He was already holding a water bottle for Dazai to take, for which the genius was thankful.
He was not, however, thankful to his blabbermouth or his unconditional trust in Chuuya. "Yesterday, I think, and three days ago." He paused and groaned as he realized what this meant.
Chuuya arched an eyebrow, surprised at the honest answer. "I thought you could get around the truth serum."
"Yeah, well, it seems I'm too relaxed and trust you too much to try and keep shit a secret when you ask," he replied and groaned louder at yet another bout of honesty. "Please don't abuse this."
"Oh, I absolutely will!" Said cheerily the smirking Executive. "We'll start with your sleeping schedule and diet while I make us an early dinner, then you can tell me if you have any hidden injuries and if you've made any attempts recently. Then, and only if you're comfortable, we can move on to the heavy stuff, from the actual reason you left to what your plans are for the future that will no doubt be filled with some new shit hitting Yokohama's proverbial fan because this city never rests, does it?"
Dazai just groaned again but, surprising Chuuya, he complied instead of extorting the little effort he'd need to once again completely close himself off. Soon enough, Dazai was being chewed up for living only on canned crab and sake and whatever unhealthy snacks Ranpo occasionally stuffs into his hands with the unsaid order to consume while eating the light meal Chuuya prepared for them so as not to upset Dazai's stomach and to make sure the brunet actually finishes the food. He ends up dozing off before the 'heavy stuff' is even brought up, waking up in Chuuya's bed with the redhead sleeping peacefully next to him and the serum already having worn off.
Yet he still ends up answering all of Chuuya's questions over breakfast, blaming it on the remnants of the serum his body had already worked through when Chuuya asks, not that he believes him. He tells him about Mimic, about the permit, about Mori's involvement in the deaths of Odasaku and the orphans he was taking care of, of Ango's betrayal. He tells him about his suspicions of Dostoevsky and the plans that might unfold, the conflict bordering on war that will come, Dazai's plans for each and every chess piece on his side of the board. Chuuya listens and occasionally calls him 'dumbass' or 'bastard' and feeds or hydrates him more as the day goes by. He makes token protests for parts of the plan but they both know he'll agree to them and that he'll execute them perfectly.
And just like that, any and all barriers and reservations holding Soukoku back from achieving their once beyond perfect harmony are destroyed. Just like that, their trust is back to 210%, just like that, they might as well be reading each other's minds, sharing a soul, whatever metaphor you like.
Soukoku's Reign of Terror 2.0 began the moment they both leaned in and gently, shyly, brushed their lips together, hands clasped like they were fifteen again and only their unity can defeat the powerful, crafty enemy.
The next day, Dazai would return to the Agency and reassure his coworkers that everything's fine now and would be open to taking questions, answering them as honestly as he cared to, partially as an apology for the stress he'd put them through while he was so high strung and partially because Chuuya had suggested at least partially preparing them for the shitshow to come.
A few weeks later, the Agency was framed and the Hunting Dogs went after them. Dazai lets himself get arrested to divert at least some of their attention away from the other detectives, Chuuya saves them, fights continue. Dazai enters a game with his fellow demon genius, Chuuya lets himself be turned into a vampire.
They both nearly drown in heavy water.
They both walk out of Meursault with Dostoevsky's blood staining their clothes, Dazai grumbling about how much it was obvious on the white outfit he'd been forced to wear and Chuuya lamenting that his expensive shoes were destroyed, Sigma following meekly behind them while Gogol was being put into a cell of his own.
They still have many things to deal with, starting with a formal, sturdy alliance between the Agency, the Mafia and the Guild. They still need to stop the spread of the vampire infection and get Akutagawa and the others back to normal, since not everyone had a god of calamity to burn through the infection. They still need to make sure Fukuchi doesn't get his hands on the Book or that Mori doesn't get too ambitious in all that chaos.
But the Agency and the Mafia had been more or less ready, had contained their turned allies, had even gotten their hands on the source of the vampire infection. They just needed Dazai to come back and use his Ability like the deus ex machina that it was.
The Hunting Dogs or Decay of Angels or whatever else they liked to call themselves made the grave mistake of waiting for Soukoku to hash out their problems before striking, for Shin Soukoku to become invested in their unorthodox partnership, for Zenki Soukoku to start even marginally trusting each other again.
Natsume sat and watched the chaos in his cat form and knew the gamble he'd made had paid off. The Book would remain undisturbed, at least for a while longer, the city will be safe and the Mafia will be kept in check with their most powerful Ability user no longer so completely and blindly loyal to its Boss. Dazai will keep plucking the strings and the rest would play to his tune, guiding them to an optimal future with the least grief, strife and calamity. He'll remain safe long enough to wrench the control of Ability users from the government's corrupt hands and perhaps help create a better system.
Natsume had high hopes for him, for the things Oda's unconventional, brilliant friend will do, the miracles he might pull with wit alone, helped by his allies. Mori may have discovered and honed him and Natsume may have helped direct him towards a greater purpose, for the greater good, but Dazai Osamu was a blade none can wield. One can only think, foolishly, that they can, but that is what he wants you to think.
The cat shifter Ability user had seen mask after mask being donned as Dazai saw fit. The current one was no doubt his most perfected one yet, carefully crafted to cover the Demon Prodigy over two years and then honed and ironed out even more as he figured out what kind of person would work best with the Agency. When that mask cracked and showed the truth behind it, no matter how ugly, the strain and tension in the two organizations was worth it for Dazai to have more freedom to maneuver without worrying about opinions and his future and ability to fulfill a dead friend's last wish. The reconciliation of Soukoku in its strongest pairing was a bonus that made Natsume more giddy than any sardines or cat nip Haruno or Fukuzawa could ever give him.
Despite all the risks in Natsume's latest gamble, it was paying off and will continue to do so in the future.
As long as Yokohama was safe, everything was worth it.
OWARI
