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Ibuprofen bonding

Summary:

Rupert is totally off his game during a Toppat raid, Ellie is pretty chill about the whole thing.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Dude.”

“Shut. Up.”

Dude.

Ellie stares back at this… Guy. She’s seen him plenty of times before, her being the right hand to one of the biggest crime bosses in the world right now, it’s a little hard to avoid government operatives, especially this guy.

This weird cockney dude who seemed to be always right next to Galeforce, next to that weird pilot guy who’s got a weird. Thing. Rivalry? With Henry. A dude who, even for a cop, seemed to take his job, like, way too seriously, if you asked her.

Not that she was a slacker, hell, she wasn’t Right Hand Lady for a reason, but this guy? Woof. Always on their asses, always shooting the first shot. Hell, she’s been sent to the infirmary a couple of times by this guy.

Aaaaaaand yet. Cornered in a warehouse, down to her last bullet, gun kicked away. And….

“Dude.”

“Shut up! Shut up, I know!!!!!”

He missed. Like, super hard. It’s like he wasn’t even trying. Point blank shot, and he totally whiffed.

“Do we need to like... Take five…. Orrrrr…” She trails, scratching the back of her neck. Honestly, it was kinda sad. This guy was usually super on his game, this was a real slip up. He wasn’t even using something with bad aim.

“No I- We do not need to take five! You need to- Wait-” He completely halts, squinting at his gun. His frustrations only heighten, and Ellie doesn’t fully understand what the issue is until she realizes he’s putting all of his weight on his trigger.

Oh man. This… Wow, this was not his day. And the toppats were definitely kicking the government’s butt out there. Oof.

Rupert stands there dumbly with a jammed gun, frustrations only mounting as the Toppat clan’s most infamous Right Hand Lady just… Stands there, blinking at his antics, unsure what to do about this. He almost wished she’d just kick him in the head or something, make him pass out. Least the pounding in his head would be something for him to deal with later.

“Sooo…. Do you want tooo… Call this a draw?” Ellie jests, listening through her earpiece for signs of the fight clearing enough for a good, clean escape.

“Shut up.”

“Cause like, I can make myself look roughed up, if you don’t want to look bad in front of your boot buddies.”

Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!” Rupert groans, throwing his gun to the floor. God, this day could NOT get any worse.

He runs his hand down his face as Ellie points her gun at him, letting out a long, droning groan. Honestly, he’d rather her just shoot him to save him the embarrassment. This was just awful, his worst performance since West Mesa. Especially up against Henry’s Right Hand Lady, this was just pathetic. He puts his hands in the air as Ellie cocks the gun, posturing, but not shooting.

Ellie keeps the gun trained on the soldier who’s been a thorn in their sides, putting up a finger in a sign of ‘hold on’ as she puts her attention to her earpiece, pretending to ignore the scoff from Rupert. Maybe a bit rude, but she needed to see what was going on out there.

“Hey guys, I got caught up on the sidelines, is everything going all right?” She asks, not even trying to sound inconvenienced. She hears….. Ranting. Some kind of insult, gunshots, stuff too muffled to make out, but enough to know there’s a scuffle.

Rupert stands there, arms thrown up in a haphazard attempt to look unarmed, feeling himself checking out of the situation. Today was…. Not his day. With his lack of sleep and pounding headache, that stupid missed shot was just the cherry on top of this whole stupid sundae. A throb hits his temple and he can’t stop his hand from flying to his head, pressure to his temple doing nothing.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna take five, man?” Ellie asks, genuine tone taking over any teasing. Rupert’s knocked a bit off kilter at that, raising a brow.

“I’m serious, you look like crap, man.”

Rupert sends her a heated glare, but, after a moment of genuine consideration, sighs. With a shrug of the shoulder and a nod, Ellie drops the gun to her side, not stupid enough to remove it from the equation, but not pointing it directly at the guy. Rupert finds a nice box to sit on nearby, groaning. “Yeah. ‘L right, give me five minutes.”

“Mmkay. Oh- Wait, actually, hold on, here.” She rummages through her pockets, pulling out… A little plastic first aid kit. The kind you’d get at a dollar store to put in your luggage. She pulls out a little package with ibuprofen, handing it over to Rupert expectantly.

“Here uh-... Ah, man. What’s your name?” She asks as Rupert grabs the pack, fully accepting the strangeness of the situation.

“I wh- My name’s Rupert, ‘asn’t Henry told you before?” He asks, insulted. He pulls his canteen filled with water out of his belt, taking the tablets with a gulp.

“Hhuh. Why would he?”

“Wh- What’dya mean why would he?? I was one’a the blokes who first helped lock him up!” He replies, throwing his hands in the air incredulously. She couldn’t be serious! “I was there at the first Toppat raid!”

“Wow, really?”

Her genuine surprise only made his ego crumple more, putting his face in his hand. She resists the urge to pat him on the shoulder.

“That’s, that’s rough, buddy.”

“I spent my whole life after West Mesa trying to fix that mistake! Bloke deserves to be locked up!” He loudly complains, stuffing his canteen back into his belt.

“Ooh, West Mesa? Do you know Dave?”

“Wh- Yeah! ‘E was my partner! Are you tellin’ me Henry told you about Dave and I didn’t even get a passin’ mention!?”

Ellie laughs, smacking Rupert on the shoulder good naturedly. “Nope! Uh, He’s a Toppat now, that’s so wild.”

NO.” Rupert gasps, absolutely thrown off his rhythm.

“Yeah he was like, totally kidnapped by the toppats! Did you really not know?”

“I- Wh- I thought he just went to go work off fuck knows where?? How’d he end up there?”

“Oh, yeah, he’s told me this before, so, funny story-”

The two of them go back and forth like this for a while,Rupert baffled by the Toppat’s incompetence, kidnapping some poor sap for beng in the wrong pace at the wrong time, Ellie laughing at Rupert’s accounts on Henry’s West Mesa story, and his betrayal on the government.

Ellie shakes her head with amusement, chuckling as she adjusts her hat. Man, it sounded rough, being a part of the government going up against Henry. He wasn’t exactly the most cunning or careful, but man. He was a… Wild plan maker, total wildcard, and somehow always came out on top, not a stupid guy, either. Probably why he made such a good leader.

“And-” Rupert pauses his schpiel with a laugh, smacking his forehead. “And he goes, ‘Henryyyyy-!’ Like it was some kinda movie, I don’t- I don’t know what he was thinkin’, they jumped OUT of the plane! No parachute! And ‘e told us to fly after ‘im!” He finishes, finally regaining his energy after a good rant and some ibuprofen.

“Okay- but like, to be fair, he shouldn’t have trusted a criminal.” She says, finishing putting in Dave’s phone number into Rupert’s phone. “-Here.”

“Psh. Believe me, I know that. I woulda shot ‘im myself if I ‘adn’t- Thanks- If I ‘adn’t been told not to. Uh- No offense. You’re a criminal though.”

“No,that’s fair.” Ellie shrugs, putting a finger up as she hears crackling from her earpiece.

Henry’s voice calls out from the other side, and Ellie hears panicked footsteps. “Oh, Hey Henry! Where are you? Did something-”

A panicked Henry suddenly bursts through the doors of the warehouse, literally blown through the door by some sort of… Rocket shoes he was wearing. The shoes blow off in some different direction as he tumbles in, adjusting his hat, he looks like he’s about to say something before completely stopping in his tracks, looking between a very casual Ellie and Rupert.

Ellie’s leaning up against the box Rupert was currently resting on, having just handed him his phone. She’d long ago holstered her gun, gone from mission mode to full blown chill mode. A moment of silence passes before Henry raises a brow, gesturing between the two in confusion.

“Eh, we’re taking five.” Ellie explains, before Rupert can butt in about Henry not remembering his name, a yell cuts through the silence.

Henry!!!!!

Henry jumps, forgoing pleasantries. “Weeee gotta go…!” He yips, and Ellie grabs her gun, pointing it at Rupert.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Rupert, uh, see ya..!” She says quickly and politely, booking it right next to Henry.

Not but a moment later, a frustrated Charles Calvin hoofs it in, dragging in deep breaths as he runs after the other man, when he runs in and sees no one but Rupert, he groans in frustration, stamping his foot. “Ah, dang it! Did you see where they went?”

Rupert’s brain takes a moment to catch up to the situation, still holding his phone. It takes him a few seconds to stuff his phone into his pocket, grabbing his gun off the floor. “I- uh, yeah, yes! This way!” He points in the direction the two booked it.

“Well, cmon! Let’s go get em!”

Rupert and Charles book it after the two, and end the day…. Ultimately unsuccessfully. The two made it out the back with a gunshot shooting the padlock off the exit. It’s rumored they made it to an escape pod a few miles away from the warehouse, having escaped with their loot.

Charles goes to bed frustrated, Rupert goes to bed so, so confused. A couple of texts out, and he finds out, unless they’re just lying, Ellie really did give him Dave’s number. He spends a couple of texts catching up, trying desperately to ignore the… Absolute weirdness (and Illegality) of the situation.

Then he gets a text from a random number.

‘heyyyyyy lol’

And then… A picture of a cat taken with a fish eye lens, the picture so low resolution it was almost hard to tell what it was.

‘wanted to make sure u didn’t die’

…..

’Is this Ellie’

 

‘yea’

 

….

Fuck it, this was already so goddamn weird.

’Sup’

Notes:

Honestly this was a challenge lol, but it's REALLY fun writing character interactions for characters who just. Would not interact normally at all. I'm also not SUPER confident in writing Rupert but I had fun so I hope it makes up for it :]

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