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“You cannot ask the darkness to leave; you must turn on the light.”
Lucy was a generally optimistic person. Everyone knew that. She was bright, bubbly, and always smiling. However, it was because she kept the darker parts of her hidden. Whether it was the anniversary of the death of loved ones, or her own thoughts of self-doubt plagued her, it wasn’t uncommon for her to fall into deep cycles of depression. Not feeling completely hopeless, but feeling dark and sad.
She never let other people know though. So when she got into these moods she would mask her true feelings from the guild, and try to mostly isolate herself from them. It wasn’t the best idea, but growing up alone, this was the only way she knew to deal with it.
Though, it was probably much worse for her mental health, but she would lose all energy to care. She didn’t have any energy to begin with.
She denied going on jobs with her friends, much preferring to rot in her bed and dwell in her sorrows. Though she was a notoriously neat and hygienic person, she couldn’t help but leave all her clothes on the floor, her laundry hamper tipped over and her detergent unused.
She could barely eat, barely sleep. She could only manage to force herself into the bath maybe once a week and had a terrible time trying to brush her teeth. It was hard. Everything was hard.
She knew that these cycles weren’t permanent. It would go away as quickly as it came, and she would be her old self again. No longer plagued by her thoughts at 3 am, but well enough rested for an early morning job with her friends.
Though, now, she was in pain, and there was nothing else to do, but endure.
Lucy didn’t know when it became night, she swore the sun had just come up. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she woke up at 2 pm, but what did she know?
She had been on her back in bed staring at the ceiling for hours and she made no plan to stop now. She was so entranced by her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the tapping on the window next to her, or the window creaking open, or the boy coming inside through it.
Natsu knew Lucy. Down to her very bones. He knew that the first sign she was falling into her pit of depression was the first time she denied a job. So after going on that job today, he made his way to her apartment, because if she couldn’t take care of herself, well then, he would take care of her himself.
So scooping her off her back and moving behind her so she could lay against his chest, he asked in the soft voice he reserved for only her, “Hey, hey, why are you crying?”
She looked at him with confused, dull eyes and tentatively touched her cheek. Surprised by the wetness she found there, she responded, “I don’t know.”
He softly took that hand and pressed the knuckles to his lips for a gentle kiss. “Have you eaten today?”
She shook her head. “I forgot.”
Natsu gently moved her to stand up, before hooking his arms around her knees and picking her up off the bed. “Let’s go get you something to eat.”
He walked over to the kitchen and gently placed her down on a chair at the table. He opened her fridge looking for something, anything, he could use to make her something. It was far too late to get takeout or anything from the store.
Finding some eggs in her fridge, and rice in her pantry, he decided that it should be alright for now, before he went to the store to stock her fridge tomorrow.
After steaming the rice and frying the egg, he placed it in front of her with a spoon, but she just stared at it. “I’m not hungry.”
He knew this was her favorite late night meal, quick and easy, and the thing she would always resort to when she hadn’t gone shopping.
He frowned. “Luce, come on.”
She just shook her head.
“Hey, if you don’t want to eat it for you, eat it for me okay?” He took the spoon, filled it with the rice and egg, and held it in front of her mouth. His eyes pleaded. He was worried about her. “For me. Please.”
This seemed to work as she took the spoonful. He filled the spoon again and fed her again. And again. And again, until the bowl was empty.
He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and smiled. “Atta girl.”
Though faint, and extremely short, he swore he saw the corners of her mouth quirk up.
“Feeling up for a bath?”
She shrugged then nodded.
He picked her up again and headed for the bathroom. Once they made it there. He gently sat her on the corner of the tub and began fiddling with the faucet to get the perfect temperature. Once reaching the sweet spot that was a little too cool for him, but he knew Lucy loved, he stopped and let it fill up.
He reached to open Lucy’s cabinet, where he knew all her bath essentials were stored, and he pulled out some lavender-salt mixture and a matching lavender bubble bath liquid. He dropped a scoop of the salt in and squeezed a hefty amount of mixture, before dropping his arm in to swirl it around.
Once he was satisfied with his concoction, he turned to Lucy who had yet to move from where he placed her. Slowly and gently he began to remove her clothing.
He lifted her shirt up and pulled it off her head. His gentle hands moved to her back to fiddle with her bra straps before removing that as well. He sank to his knees to begin to pull her sweatpants off of her, leg by leg. Then he cautiously reached to her hips, taking the edges of her underwear and pulling it slowly down her legs.
And there was nothing sexual about his actions, they were just pure. He didn’t act as if he were another perv using her bad mental state to his advantage, but rather like a loyal servant and the queen whom he adored. Almost like she was a goddess and he was her believer. And to Natsu, at least, that wasn’t far off from the truth.
He gently pulled her hair tie out of her hair and slowly coerced her into the tub.
“I’ll be right back.” He placed a tender kiss on her head before picking up the discarded clothing from the floor, and heading out of the bathroom.
He picked up her hamper and placed the clothing inside before walking around the room collecting the other garments thrown across the floor.
He dumped the contents of the hamper as well as some detergent into the washer and turned on the cycle before returning to Lucy in the bathroom.
While she hadn’t moved much, she seemed a bit less distressed. He sat on the ledge of the tub and grabbed her shampoo and conditioner. He squeezed some shampoo onto his palms and rubbed them together, before sinking his fingers into her scalp. He massaged her head gently, letting his magic warm his fingers to make his washing more akin to a scalp massage.
She let out a sigh. “That feels nice. Thank you.”
“Of course.” He was delighted she enjoyed it, so instead of wrapping up the shampooing, he continued to just massage her scalp for ten more minutes.
Once he rinsed her hair, he lathered conditioner on her ends and combed it out. He rinsed her hair again and grabbed her exfoliating sponge. He rubbed it along her back, across her arms and shoulders, and the upper area of her chest.
He then cradled her jaw, and took a bar of soap in his free hand. He used the soap bar to trace her facial features, and then used both his hands to massage it in. Natsu stared deeply into her eyes, seeing that while they were duller than usual, the light was beginning to return, and that was better than nothing. He dampened a towel and wiped the soap of her face and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
He pulled out the plug from the tub, hoisted her up, and grabbed her a fluffy towel from her linen closet. Wrapping it around her from behind, he let his lips lie down against the soft skin of her shoulder before leading her out of the bathroom.
He moisturized her arms and legs in the way which he knew she liked and placed one of his old T-shirts he found in her dresser over her head. She grabbed her panties from him, stepping into them one leg at a time, a gesture that made Natsu smile since he could see she was feeling a bit better.
She grabbed his arm and led him into bed with her. “Hold me.”
He chuckled. “Sure, Luce.”
She snuggled into his neck and threw a leg over his hip drawing him closer. He wrapped one arm around her waist and let the other one get tangled into her hair as he breathed her in deeply.
“Hey, Natsu.”
He looked down to meet her gaze.
“I love you. Thank you for doing all of this.”
She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and another to his jaw before cuddling into him again.
Natsu didn’t know what they were. Were they friends? Were they lovers? Where do you draw the line? How do you distinguish?
He didn’t know anything.
But he did know, “I love you too, Lucy. I would do anything for you.”