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Unfortunately it was a very familiar feeling. The feeling of being played, taken for a fool.
He didn’t understand how he could have missed the signs constantly. Why it had always happened to him? Was it in his fate to put his trust in the wrong people or was he really a fool?
Each betrayal had hurt more that the previous one. Morgana, Gwen, Agravaine. And now Merlin? He didn’t understand why that seemed even more unacceptable then Morgana’s, even though he had known Merlin only for a few years. But those years had been the most important of his life. He had allowed Merlin to change him. That was the most terrifying thought. If he allowed himself for just one second to believe that his servant – no, friend – was evil, then where would those changes leave him?
He would just ignore it and let it go. He couldn’t deal with it. If he wouldn’t acknowledge it, then it probably would just go away.