Work Text:
Among the inner circle of Yeshua of Nazareth there was one named Yehuda, who was beautiful and tall, and Yeshua loved him more than all.
And whenever Yeshua would gather his closest ones around him, to teach them or simply to talk, he would sit Yehuda against his lap and run his fingers through the disciple’s lush hair, or massage his broad shoulders as he spoke; and his words would come out sweeter and clearer from his mouth than they had ever in the past, and his wit would flow quicker as well, and all who heard him would be charmed.
And whenever Yeshua felt worried, or exhausted, or had doubts regarding what would be, he would lean his head on Yehuda’s welcoming chest, and would be comforted by the sound of his dear's beating heart.
Now Yehuda believed his master to be sent to Earth by God, and therefore, he was proud of their tight friendship and minded not the hardships of their half-nomad way of life. Indeed, he was glad although his feet would often hurt, and his groan would remain dry from walking long deserted roads, and although an empty stomach was also commonplace, as well as frozen nights spent sleeping on hard ground.
But having lived like this for a sufficiently long time, Yehuda became weary of thirst, pain, hunger and cold; and cared no more whether his teacher was from Godly origin or just as any man, and regretted the day he chose that path.
Now having left family and property and any other tie, he feared there was no place to which he ever could go back.
And at the time there were some among the ruling class that wished to be rid of Yeshua, who was achieving far more fame than they saw fit to allow, and would pay a fine reward to whoever would reveal them the location of the man.
And since Yehuda saw himself in need of a survival means, he made up his mind to sell his friend’s life, although Yeshua loved him still.
He selected for the treason deed the first day of the Passover festival, which, he thought, would have his friend and the other men too busy to take notice of the actions of one man.
Once the feast's time had arrived, Yeshua sat his most beloved by his side. He did perceive the weight on Yehuda’s heart, since the man barely ate or drank from the sweet wine, and his semblance seemed as covered by shadow, dark as night.
But Yeshua did not guess the dire truth in his disciple’s mind, and he kept silent and feared the unknown, although he put faith in his Father’s designs.
He did not remain in ignorance for long, as his friend came to meet him the next day, and was followed by a troop of armed men.
And Yehuda greeted his master and kissed his mouth as he often would, yet his lips were ice-cold and his sweat stank of acrid shame.
*
Once nailed to the cross, Yeshua cried to his father for mercy. Perhaps He heard; we’ll never know.
And Yehuda, he wished that the last day’s events were a nightmare from which one could wake out, but the red against his eyes was far too vivid, and the stench inside his nostrils too nauseating, and he knew that this was no mere trick of sleeping mind; thus he wished to wake from life itself as from a dream, and he hastened to distant Sheol.