Chapter Text
Sometimes Steven felt different.
The weird different feeling only really started after his fight with white diamond , when he was 12. It had been there before, little pieces of forgotten memories, little spurts of time where he wouldn’t really be present in his own body, but it was less noticeable, not worrying.
After the fight though, it was almost constant, he couldn’t keep full control over himself for more than a day. It got better overtime, he could stay in control, keep more memories, but it still happened.
He figured it was a gem thing, or a him thing, he didn’t know, but he didn’t think it was that big of a deal.
However, when he casually brought it up to his therapist via a story that involved one of his memory blackouts, it was quickly proven to be a pretty big deal.
5 or so months , a bunch of visits with different doctors and psychologists later, he was given an simple yet overly complex diagnosis, Dissociative Identity Disorder.
It honestly confused Steven to no end, he didn’t understand how multiple people were in his head, how during those periods of time he forgot someone else was living his life.
His therapist suggested him to do some of his own research, and to try to communicate with the others in his head, or as she worded it, head-mates.
So, Steven did just that. He started keeping a journal.
He wrote down when he forgot stuff, tried to figure out what happened during the time someone else was controlling the body, did plenty of research, wrote down stuff about himself and tried to initiate conversation via paper and pen.
Eventually, after a month, someone responded.
They wrote down information about themself in the journal too, and replied to Stevens simple ‘Hello, I’m Steven, It’s nice to meet you’ with a ‘hi , im stew :) ‘
His name was Stew, an odd name but Steven wasn’t one to judge. Stevens introduction / about me consisted of just basic information (Eg; age, name, pronouns, etc…) but Stew had that and a million other things.
His name was Stew, he was 10 years old, he was a boy who liked girls, his favorite color was red, he liked Cookie Cats (Steven honestly forgot about those entirely), he liked his dad, he liked music, he liked cats, etc etc etc.
For awhile Stew was the only one that really talked to Steven, at first on paper and then eventually they learned how to ‘front’ at the same time and talked that way. However, it was clear that Stew wasn’t the only one , there being multiple periods of time where Steven would forget things and Stew would at least claim to not be fronting.
Then, Gem came along. Gem was almost an exact replica of Steven appearance wise, judging by the self portrait it included with its written down information. Gem seemed to know much more about the system then Stew and Steven did, it seemed as if it knew everything.
Gem (allegedly) has no age, experienced no romantic or sexual attraction, used it/its or just went by name, and was the systems protector and gatekeeper (Steven had only recently discovered system roles, and only just helped Stew find out what his role was ; Steven was the host and a trauma holder, Stew was a little ; but he wouldn’t be surprised if Gem already knew about all of that stuff)
Gem struggled much less than Stew at getting the hang of co fronting, in fact it did it with ease, another thing it already knew about and how to do it.
It also already knew about the two other head mates , but refused to give any information about them , saying that they had to come out on their own and that it couldn’t rush the process.
So, they (Steven and Stew) waited, and waited, and waited for 3 whole months, and finally both of the two other head mates sprung out like a Jack in a box.
They each wrote on the same page for some reason, seemingly being hell bent on scribbling out the others writing, leading to both of their writing being barely legible. Luckily they both used different colored pens , one a pink glitter pen and the other a maroon sharpie, so they could at least tell who wrote which.
The one who wrote in the pink glitter pen was named Rose, yep, Rose Quartz. She only went by Rose but Steven could tell who his mind was trying to replicate and it almost made him want to cry. Rose was around 32 years old , used she/her pronouns, was a lesbian, and had really overly fancy handwriting. It was quickly discovered that she was a caregiver, a Co-Host, an emotional buffer , and a trauma holder.
The one with the maroon sharpie was named Diamond, it was also clear what she was meant to be based off of. She did not have a specific age, would use any feminine or neutral pronouns, aromatic asexual, and her handwriting could only be described as font like. It was also quite obvious what roles she filed. She was a persecutor and a trauma holder , as well as a former host apparently.
Gem had confirmed that those were all of the headmates it was aware of , so there Steven was, with 4 other people in his head.
Their communication was overall good, they all did their part to keep themselves all stable. Sure, Rose and Diamond fought like cats and dogs and Gem had tried to cut off system contact 3 times, but overall they kept it together, kept all hell from breaking loose.
That was untill he went back to Beach City for a 2 month visit.
It was summer, only a few days into June, and he was now pulling into beach city in his van. He hadn’t visited for over a year, he was 18 now, he wondered if everyone would even recognize him. He decided that he would visit for awhile.
His job schedule was more similar to that of a school year, him working for a local pet store run by a sweet old lady back where he had moved him. She allowed him extended leaves (unpaid, but what did Steven care? His dad was rich as shit, he didn’t need money) due to his severe PTSD, and partially because she and Steven were really close after him working there for 2 whole years.
Anyways, thanks to his working schedule, he had a full 2 months off, which he would normally spend just doing volunteer work in that small town he now called home, but this time he decided to visit Beach city.
It had been 2 whole years, he thought a lot more would change, but it almost looked exactly the same. The Big Donut now had a strawberry donut, and he briefly saw someone who he assumed was Buck due to the sunglasses standing outside in uniform, taking a smoke break.
Beach Citywalk Fries looked a bit nicer than it used to, as did Fish Stew Pizza, and Funland was bigger than ever. He continued to drive though, and drove and drove until he was there.
That house, that woman shaped mountain, home.
He stepped out of his car, pulling out his backpack and suitcase full of luggage with him, trotting up eh stairs to the house as quick as he could, exited to surprise the others.
He hadn’t told them, of course, he wanted it to be a surprise, he was so exited it was overwhelming. His smile hurt the corners of his mouths and his palms dripped with exited sweat. He was so exited he could just black out,
And then he did.
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Rose came to suddenly standing in front of a door, the door to her , and the others, childhood home! She immediately felt the same happy excitement as Steven had , but that quickly dulled down a bit with confusion, why was she fronting?
She normally only fronted if whoever was fronting was distressed or if someone outside of the body was, but no one was upset right now. Mabye Steven got overwhelmed by his emotions? That tends to happen a lot, with negative and positive emotions, so that must be the case!
Rose decided that she’d check up on Steven later, make sure he doing okay, but for now she really wanted to see the gems, and Greg, and the other citizens of beach city and the animals and-!
She knocked on the door, free hand flapping wildly as her smile stretched almost painfully.
1,2,3 knocks on the door.
Muffled voices from the other side of the door, footsteps, the sound of locks, the door opening-
,”Steven!”
The name slightly stung, as it always did, as it always would, but her happiness easily overthrew the sting as she leaned forward to hug Pearl.
Rose heard Pearl squeal at the tightness of her embrace , but Rose couldn’t bring herself to stop squeezing the gem as if she wanted her to pop. Gem had been working out whenever he fronted recently, so Rose knew the body would be stronger, but she didn’t expect to be strong enough to almost suffocate (can gems suffocate? Do they even have lungs?) Pearl!
Rose dropped Pearl, carefully, with a chuckle ,”Sorry, G- I’ve been working out!”
Rose heard the squeal, the gasps, and heard the footsteps but was still shocked when she was yanked into the house and dog pilled on top of with hugs from everyone. Garnet, Amethyst, Greg, Pearl, even Lion!
Rose heard voices from all around her, but she couldn’t make out any words, and she couldn’t make out whose hands were wrapped around her in a vice grip, who was peppering kisses on her face like a overjoyed mother, who was giving her a noogie, who was rubbing her back, or even who was licking her face! But she felt the warmth, the affection, it was almost enough to make her explode!
,”guys! You’re gonna suffocate me!” Rose giggled out, pushing the others away despite not waning them to really stop their attack of affection.
,”Geez dude, you look totally different!” Amethyst said excitedly, in awe at how Rose looked.
And it’s true, Rose did look different. One of the perks of being part gem whilst also being a system was the shape shifting, and even though it was much weaker than Amethysts, the body could do minor shape shifting.
So while Steven looked almost the same as he did before he left , hair only slightly grown out and losing a bit of weight, Rose looked strikingly different compared to what the body used to look like.
Rose always made the body have curlier hair when she fronted, or less curly, or well, more like her sources curls (Rose Quartz), her hair also became a dark pink. The body became a bit more curvier and a bit more chubby, the skin of the body significantly paled aswell. While that may not seem like a lot when written down, for people that have known you for your entire life, it was a pretty big change.
Rose hadn’t even meant to change the bodies form, it just happened instinctively. Since she’s been allowed to openly express that she wasn’t Steven back at her new home, she was so used to just shifting the moment she fronted she forgot that she wasn’t supposed to do it here, because they didn’t know that she wasn’t Steven.
,” Yeah, I guess I do look sorta different huh?” Rose chuckled nervously
,” Sorta? you look like a whole new man!” Amethyst exclaimed , gaining a cringe from Rose, she most certainly was not a man.
,”yeah… I guess,” Rose answered , her voice a bit more upset, mabye a little good distressed.
The others seemed a bit concerned for a moment, frowning a bit.
,”Hey , I didn’t mean it on a rude way dude! You look great!” Amethyst reassured with a hard smack on the back.
Silence for a moment, before Greg spoke up, eager to break the tension that now surrounded his ‘son’.
,” Im so glad to see you Steven! Why didn’t you tell us you were visiting?”
Rose chuckled ,” I just wanted to surprise you guys!”
,”well I’m most certainly surprised!” Amethyst chimed in ,” I thought id have to go to your new place and bring you here myself!”
,” Everyone, give Steven some space. I’m sure he’s had a long drive and is in need of some rest,” Garnet said calmly, lightly pushing Amethyst away from Rose, who was clearly unused to Amethysts over the top nature.
,” your gonna have to sleep on the couch tonight kiddo, i don’t really have anywhere set up for you and I have no clue where that old air mattress is…” Greg said nervously
“It’s fine, works for me,”
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