Work Text:
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you see every day? Because Jungwon needs some scientific explanation for that. That is what he specifically types in the search bar every time the story of him and his love at first sight comes to his mind—even years later, really.
Love is said to be one of the most researched 'things' in the world, but also one of the most misunderstood. As for the 18-year-old Jungwon, he doesn’t get the idea of it at all. He can't put it into words to describe it, and he can't fathom himself falling into it, and that is not until October 2, 2018—the date when the boy began questioning his knowledge about love.
His family moved to the city when he was in high school and began transferring here and there because of the kind of work his parents do. And since they couldn't afford cars, they commuted and relied on public transportation.
Just like this one.
There's this metallic sound of the arriving train, the sound of a woman speaking in the speakers around the depot, and the sound of every passenger passing by, looking for the right carriages. Jungwon stood there, looking like a lost sheep in the mob of people trying to get aboard the trains since he grew up in a town where they only use buses, jeepneys, and tricycles. He's not used to it, and he thought that he came early enough to avoid the mass of people.
Most people in the city only think about themselves. They'll do anything to get in, whether you're a woman, an older woman, or a provincial teenager like him; they'll never shoot you a glance. So, he tried to go with the flow of people.
Jungwon was pushed inside with the crowd until he got stuck in the other side entryway of the train, nearly tediously pushing his cheek against the glass pane. For what seemed like seconds, all of the chairs were taken, and he had no other options except to stand awkwardly with other people. But it's not quite as awful as being crammed in.
The school was a station away, and it would take him around 20 to 30 minutes to get there. Standing here in front of the entrance is agony. Jungwon may be cursed if he still comes here every day for the rest of his senior year of high school.
While leaning on the door and skimming his first subject’s syllabus, the train began to move, as did the opposing train on the other side of the track.
As it went the other way, Jungwon caught a pair of eyes. A boy who looked not far away from his age stared back at him.
Jungwon pursed his lips in amusement. They suffered the same fate because he was also standing at the train's door.
It was like six seconds of eye contact before both of their trains accelerated, but that second was enough for him to remember the person's face.
The boy has honeyed skin, and it looks beautiful in the morning sun. His hair is down, and a small rim of glasses sits atop his narrow nose. He has small lips that appear to be pouting when they're at rest, and his jaw complements the symmetry of his face.
His uniform is from the other school, one that Jungwon's parents could never afford and where he would barely pass his general average, so he assumes that man is smart with a silver spoon in his mouth.
However, why is he taking the train? Why go through the trouble of getting into one when he can drive? It’s amusing given that Jungwon just judges him based on his appearance.
Maybe, just maybe, he's the same as him.
When he thought that he would forget the man on the other train like any other stranger Jungwon sees on a daily basis, he was wrong. He finished school on the first day, went home, did some small take-home work, and his night went as usual, except that he was still thinking about the boy, which feels quite bothersome by now when he's not even Jungwon's business. But now, as Jungwon lies in bed, he’s noticed something I missed earlier this morning.
It was the way he looked at him.
Jungwon can't describe it exactly because he's not so sure about reading someone's expression when it's the first time that he's ever seen him, but it seems like he knew Jungwon. He was for sure not imagining things or making unnecessary scenarios in his head since the way the boy's eyes widened a little and his lips parted a bit says it all, but Jungwon doesn’t even know him, not even a little bit.
How embarrassing to admit that Jungwon only slept for around three hours because of him. As a result of that, he developed dark circles around his eyes. He has to remind himself over and over again how friendless he is and that he is spending his time thinking about a stranger that he has only seen once. He slept like he had worked all night; his mom had to pull the rest of the sheet out of him just to wake him up and remind him that he had a 9 a.m. class to attend and that he might miss the only train going southwest in those available hours because of the weather.
Jungwon, as usual, was unable to find any available seats and opted to simply stand in front of the door. To his surprise, the boy was there.
What are the chances of them meeting the same destiny twice because he doesn't have any seats either?
The boy was busy checking the time on his wristwatch when his gaze wandered out of the window and caught Jungwon’s wide eyes.
Jungwon gulped and glanced aside, feeling a little shy. He figures he's not alone in having the worst fate in the world, right?
Jungwon simply cannot keep a straight face as he realizes how awkward it will be to see the boy again in two days, in the same place! Consider how embarrassing it would be to be in his shoes.
When Jungwon slowly looked back at him, he caught the boy looking away and busying himself with the book in his hand. His toes curled, and his cheeks felt a little warm before a smile slowly crept into Jungwon's lips.
Okay, this is new.
He squeaks when their trained horns horn before moving in the opposite direction, leaving him there with the boy’s small smile lingering in his mind.
The boy feels the same way, doesn't he?
The whole day went well. To get incentives, Jungwon joined a club, befriended the most talkative member—Kim Sunoo—and got to eat with him and his friend Riki at their table in the cafeteria. He went home that day with a content smile on his face as their newly made group chat popped up in his phone notification.
He awoke the next day feeling a little hyper. Jungwon expected the boy to be exactly in front of the other train's window, so he practiced waving in front of his bathroom mirror. Yes, it may sound dumb, but all he could do was wave. A wave is the simplest yet hardest thing to do when you are the one who's going to initiate it first, and just a simple wave to carefully not freak him out or be weirded out by Jungwon's antics but he would die if he didn't wave him back. That should be illegal.
Either way, Jungwon spent half of his morning routine acting in front of his mirror until he finally got tired and gave up. It is what it is. It's just a simple "hi" anyway.
As expected, the boy was there again. Jungwon walks straight to his usual place, not minding the few available seats. He's met with a large, hand-made skyscraper on the boy's hand, almost blocking his view. The young man must be a student of architecture or engineering.
Jungwon mentally reminds himself of the things he prepared in an unholy amount of time in front of his bathroom mirror just for this once-in-a-lifetime moment: to befriend the boy, but when their eyes met, Jungwon's head short-circuited, blurring out his hardship and erasing all of the data he inserted into his mind, and what he did was certainly not on his plan at all.
“That’s so pretty," he mouthed.
The boy remained motionless, but his face was flushed. Jungwon has never seen him respond like way before because he is used to seeing him all serious and unfazed.
“Thanks” Jungwon read on the other’s lips.
The train he was in began to move, and both of them whipped their heads to catch each other's sight once more. There was an unspoken word between them, and something in Jungwon raised his hand for a "fighting" gesture.
The boy looked at him with a small smile on his lips before his train disappeared from sight.
He felt a little giggly that night.
Jungwon found a new reason to be on time for the train with his carefully groomed hair that he had curled all night, his freshly pressed school uniforms, and a platform shoe. He dashed through the train station as quickly as he could, bought a ticket, and found his train.
To his delight, the boy arrived just in time as Jungwon boarded the train. He doesn't have any hand-made projects in his hands right now; he must have done well yesterday.
Jungwon couldn't hold his smile when he was greeted with the other’s gaze, expectantly.
The boy on the opposite train hesitantly raised his hand, and to Jungwon's surprise, the boy waved at him for the first time.
Oh my god, he waved at him! Jungwon’s heart began to leap; he didn't know how to respond, so instead, he clumsily rummaged through his bag. The boy stared at him quizzically as the other boy pulled an iPad out.
After a few flicks of his finger on the screen, Jungwon showed his screen to the boy on the other side.
"I’m Jungwon," the boy says, reading Jungwon’s name on the screen.
Jungwon pointed himself out with a friendly smile, and the boy on the other side tried his best not to give away his expression, but he looks shy and introverted.
Jungwon watched him as he pulled out his phone from his pocket and showed Jungwon his screen after punching out texts.
“Park Jongseong, or just Jay," it says.
Jungwon read it to himself, his lips pouting a little as he pronounced Jay’s Korean name. He finds the boy's name beautiful, and it suits him. Jungwon kept on going until his eyes—shining and giggly—found Jay's eyes on the other side.
He totally forgot Jay's existence in front of him, and he kind of wants to die when he notices how Jay's smile tells him how stupid he looks after not reading his name through his mind.
“what are you laughing at?" Jungwon mouthed, his eyes narrowing playfully, and Jay shook his head. His smiles never faded.
"Nothing," Jay said, and Jungwon thought that he got a nice smile when it reached his eyes.
The same scene occurred every now and then; they would spend a few minutes before the train sets off. Sometimes Jungwon is late, so they only had a second to talk. Sometimes, both of their trains got delayed because of the weather or because there was some railway maintenance. Thinking about their small talk, exchanging smiles, and laughing makes Jungwon dizzy. His heart flutters embarrassingly when he finally shares it with his friends at the cafeteria.
"Wait, hold on. He goes to that school?" Sunoo's eyes lit up in awe, and Riki almost spit out his food before dropping his fork to drink.
"Ugh, Riki, that is so gross."
"No way," Riki said after chugging water, not minding Sunoo's comment.
“Think so too," Jungwon nodded to himself before munching his meal. They literally had the same reaction as he did when he first saw Jay's uniform, so Jungwon claimed it was a valid reaction after all.
Sunoo gasps and scoots closer to scream in his ears. "That school is literally for the billionaires! The Gods! Oh my!" he exaggeratedly shrieked.
"So, it's an all-in-all meet-cute with a billionaire," Riki agreed as he nudged Jungwon's side with his elbow.
"We don't assume—"
"Right, why is he taking the train then if he's filthy rich?" his pink-haired friend's brows furrowed.
That was the question that remained on the tip of his tongue every time he spent a minute talking to the boy. Jungwon is just too shy to ask Jay. When he tries to find the moment to ask him, the train is already taking off. Or when there's a moment of silence between them like when: "I skipped breakfast today," "What? You can't do that," "I told you to try this donut before you get in," "Now, I'm hungry too,”—Jungwon just can't find the courage to.
But Jay's got it.
"My school sucks," Jay says with a sigh that fogs up the train's window before him. "And taking the train sucks too."
Jungwon huffs and smiles. His eyes glint as he stares at Jay. "Yeah right,"
If it weren’t because of you, I would’ve begged on my knees to my parents to get me a car, Jungwon screamed in his head.
A minute of silence stretched between them, with only the sound of the clacking bell of the station, the distant murmur of the passenger, and the sound of the railways.
"Do you sometimes also get some odd dreams?" Jay asked carefully.
“Odd dreams?"
Jay nodded. "Like seeing people that you haven't even met in your life, even once.”
The younger man shifted to where he stood and shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't get dreams these days, or actually, the moment I woke up, they immediately disappeared, and I can't recall a thing anymore. Why'd you ask?" Jay's gaze softened. "I had a dream of you before we even met."
He looked back at Jungwon as he offered a gentle smile.
Jungwon shoots him a mischievous gaze before he dismisses it with a laugh: "Don't get weirded out; it's not what you think it is!"
Jungwon laughs playfully. "What was that dream about, then?”
The taller man smiles, still shaking his head in disbelief.
"I saw you in a train station in my dream and that dream felt so real because I could clearly see your face; you were smiling at me. I think I said something funny to make you smile like that; that's all I could remember when I woke up."
He looks up to Jungwon, who remains frozen in place.
"I started taking the train last month, to the same train station in my dream. A few weeks passed and I started to think this is stupid and the person in my dream is just a work of my imagination, but then I met you on the same day I promised myself that this would be the last."
Jungwon's mouth drops. "Before I even got into this city?" he stammered.
"You're not from here?" Jay’s eyes widened in realization.
“I lived in a small town before moving in here; wait, Jay, that was awesome!"
It was Jungwon's first time getting curious about dreams, twin flames, and soulmates. To think that he was Jay's twin flame could send him to the heavens; he would squeak and scream at his pillows at night, roll in his bed until his sheet wrapped him up like a burrito, and fall into his face with a loud thud.
He can't stop thinking about what Jay must’ve felt. He wonders if he feels the same thing as he does, or if he lies awake in bed at night thinking about their first encounter and questions why? Why did he keep waiting for him if Jay just saw him in his dreams? And take note: that dream happened a month ago.
Jungwon spent his night searching for a similar event to what they'd experienced, and to his disappointment, they weren't as nice as he expected. It was called “Twin Flames”. It said that just before meeting your twin flames, you will have a weird feeling about meeting someone significant and can specifically list all their traits. Time will pass, and you and your twin flames will cross paths. They will pull you like a magnet, and you can feel them. But things might get overwhelming and might not end up well. Jungwon shuts down his laptop after refusing to read more.
And that night, Jungwon chose to sleep rather than think much about it, but he woke up the next morning wearing his thoughts like baggage. He was earlier at the train station; it was the first time he got in before Jay.
His eyes lit up when he saw Jay in his usual spot, but his brows furrowed immediately as he ran his eyes around his clothes.
Jay saw him frown a bit.
"You’re not coming to school today?" asked Jungwon as he held his iPad to his window.
Jay held his phone up. "I’m just packing my stuff and preparing papers."
Jungwon's heart sped up. He doesn't think much when he holds up his iPad once again.
"For what? If you don’t mind sharing it with me?"
"I’m transferring to a new school next week." Jay offered him a gentle smile and suddenly, Jungwon's shoulders drop. He didn’t know what to say or how to react.
Jay didn't say much either, and a moment later, their trains were already parting ways. He saw the way that the other looked at him; it was like he was going to disappear in that spot in the next few days. Jungwon breathes, still looking out the window but not seeing Jay. Despite the hot weather, he feels a little cold right now. He lowered his iPad and put it inside his bag, and as far as he remembers, this is not how he usually feels when their train parted ways.
The whole day was lifeless; Jungwon had to remind himself of their upcoming midterm and that he needed to study rather than think about Jay. Jay misses him more than he should. The words that he said last morning, his smile, and the way he looks at him make him want to cry. Is that a goodbye?
Jungwon took the train; they were dismissed late that day, and he never caught a glimpse of Jay taking a train back to the station, but he will look for him anyway. He rushes to get a ticket, his heart hammering his ribcage as he looks around, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Jay was there. But there are none.
The rest of the trip was like a ticking bomb for Jungwon. The closer he gets to their station, the more his heart beats aloud. He never had a chance to ask, when is the last time Jay will take the train in there? He never had a chance to ask, why, where, and what? What does he feel about him?
What does he feel about Jungwon?
The train stopped, and the second the door opened, Jungwon sprinted off the train. The sun has already set, and the sky is a hue of black, orange, and red. He mustered multiple excuses as he ran through a bunch of people going down the stairs. He doesn't know what he's doing, but as exhaustion takes its toll, he finally gets to the other side of the train station, where Jay goes every single day.
Jungwon stood there shakily as he skimmed every corner of the station. He coughs as he catches his breath; his hands are cold, and so are his hands. He ran his fingers through his hair as he looked around, frustrated and on the verge of crying in the middle of the station.
He just can't leave it like that, Jungwon thought. The possibility of not seeing him again felt odd. It’ll be hard to imagine the changes that the next few days will bring. Jungwon would walk past the window and see nothing on the other side of the track.
Jungwon felt really selfish to feel like this, but he can’t help it when it was like leaving without saying a proper goodbye, like leaving the small town where he used to live for years. It's like taking the train for the first time and being a lost sheep in a new place once again.
The feeling of emptiness found its way again into Jungwon’s heart, and he wished it were butterflies instead of the painful wrench he felt in his stomach up to his chest.
Jungwon did not see a single trace of Jay that day, and he cried right where he stood.
The first term ended as the season changed. Jungwon didn't see Jay the next day or the next day until it turned into a week, and yet he still stood by the door, where their windows face each other. There's not a day when he doesn't miss the presence of his twin flame. He tried searching for him using Park Jongseong at any university or academy he knew around the city, but there was no trace of him.
There are a few seats available inside the train, Jungwon sighed. And just when he is about to sit into one, he's met with someone's chest. That slam woke him up after walking like a zombie inside the train, though.
"Sorry," Jungwon apologized without looking up at the person's face.
“It’s alright." The man's voice was raspy. That got Jungwon's attention, so he glanced at the person.
Jungwon's eyes ran along the familiar ID lace that hangs on his chest. His eyes widened in realization as they lifted to meet Jongseong's—the boy on the other train track, the boy who dreamed of him, and his twin flame.
There's no way. Fuck, there is no way. Jungwon wants to pinch himself, but Jay looks so real—and so close!
They’re inside the same train; Jay was not wearing his usual uniform and has the same lace as Jungwon's. If he wasn't holding on to his sanity, air in his lungs must've knocked him out.
Jay smiles, and Jungwon realizes that he's got a dimple when he's close. Words burn in his tongue; he doesn't know what to say. So, he just stares at Jay with his wide and watering eyes.
“Hello." Jay held out his hand. "I believe we go to the same school.”
Emotions began pouring like rain, and when it stopped, it sent a rainbow. Jungwon's face started to crumble, and any second now he was about to snap and cry, and Jay panicked.
“I believe, yeah," Jungwon said, sounding more like a sob, and Jay was guilty for disappearing for a week. "I-I'm Jungwon”
Jay smiled, a smile that could see his teeth, and it reached his eyes. He misses Jungwon.
“Jay, just Jay." He steps forward, just to the other side of the window—not to gaze out of the window again to stare at him from afar, not anymore.
"It's nice to meet you, Jungwon."