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“I don't know about this. What if it's the wrong present?”
“It is a very nice present, Dean. I am sure Nop will appreciate it.”
“And what if someone says something about – you know. Us.”
“I do not understand.”
“About the whole Adam-and-Steve thing. Or if you – look, man, you know I love you, but you're not real good at acting - you know. Normal. You can be kind of – weird.”
“...”
“In a good way! I mean, I get you, and Sam gets you, and – aw, shit, this is coming out wrong. I just – shit.”
“You are worried that John Gabriel's feelings might be hurt. That we will embarrass him in some way, and cause him social difficulties. Because of our unconventional family situation. And because I am not human.”
“Yes! That!”
“I believe that John Gabriel is equal to anything that might occur.”
“So you're not staying home?”
“I am not staying home, Dean. John Gabriel wanted both of us to accompany him.”
“Okay. Right. Okay. We can do this.”
“...”
“Fuck! Seriously, I sound like a Desperate Housewife. Sorry, Cas.”
“You are not a desperate housewife. You are a highly competent hunter. And businessman.”
“Mechanic.”
“You run your own body shop, Dean. You are a businessman.”
“Yeah, well – but still, all this white picket fence shit is...not exactly my comfort zone, y'know? It still feels very new. I still keep expecting to get busted. I'm – really, Cas, I'm not good at normal.”
“Why is it important?”
“Because I don't want John to feel like a freak, damn it!”
“He is not a freak, Dean. He is the Messiah.”
“Yeah. Not – not really helping there, actually, Cas. But thanks for trying.”
“I think you are making yourself needlessly tense, Dean. You should relax.”
“Make me!”
“...”
“...okay...mph...that's, I didn't....mmmph....aw, now you're not playing fair.”
“You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”
“Well of course I – uh – that's – oh, God. Fuck. Yeah...mmph...”
“...”
“...don't think I've forgotten that I'm freaking out about the birthday party thing, because I haven't. I'm just taking a temporary break to regroup. I'll recommence the freaking shortly.”
“If you insist. Now shush.”
“....mmph!”
“Happy Birthday, Nop!”
“Hey! Is that my present?”
“Yes. It's a skateboard.”
“Cool!”
“You have a nice house. I like the balloons.”
“They're just for today. I've got a chocolate cake too, and pizza. And a pin...a pinnta...a thing full of candy that you hit. And there's a bouncy castle out back. Come see?”
“Cool!”
“Well hi there, handsome! This seat taken?”
“No. Ah. Please sit down, Mrs...?”
“Ms. Ms Blakeney. I'm divorced.”
“I am sorry to hear that.”
“Oh, don't be – he was a jerk, and a lousy lay. I'm better off without him.”
“...”
“You can call me Cherry. You're John's daddy, right?”
“That is correct.”
“I knew it! He has his daddy's big blue eyes.”
“John Gabriel's eyes are a normal size for a child of his age.”
“You're funny!”
“That is...not a commonly held opinion, in my experience.”
“You crack me up! I'm Elaine's mommy, by the way. You know Elaine? With the curls? Over there, playing on the bouncy castle?”
“She looks – very happy.”
“Yeah – that's the sugar high. We're talking six slices of chocolate cake, three bowls of icecream, and her body weight in Coke. I think she's going to barf soon – but, hey, it won't be me cleaning it up, so what the hell.”
“Oh. Oh dear.”
“Ah, don't sweat it. She's having fun. So what's your name, anyway, sugar?”
“Castiel.”
“Oooh! Nice. European, hey? You're not from around here?”
“As you say, I am not from around here.”
“Sweet. Pass me a cupcake, cupcake.”
“...”
“Mmm! I know I shouldn't – breaking my diet, but what the hell. These are the expensive ones. They're wasted on the kids.”
“I understand they are very popular. Dea...”
“I was worried they wouldn't have any regular food, you know? Thought it might be all sushi and egg rolls, or something.”
“The children certainly seemed to enjoy the pizza.”
“Hey, who doesn't love pizza? Seriously, though – I was kind of expecting it all to be a bit more, you know – Japanese. Those paper wall things, and sitting on the floor, and eating with chopsticks.”
“...I believe Nop's parents are Thai, not Japanese.”
“Oh, well – Taiwan, Japan, it's all the same, right?”
“Um. I suppose in a sense all places are the same. To some extent. We are all God's children.”
“Oh, shit – you're not going to get all holier-than-thou on me?”
“Um...”
“Try to get me to join your church? You a Jehovah's Witness? Or one of those Mormons? 'Cause I don't plan on joining anybody's harem, I can tell you right now.”
“I am ...I believe the term is non-denominational. I will not try to make you join a church. Or a harem.”
“Huh. Okay then. So - is your wife here, Castiel?”
“No. I am not married, but...”
“Girlfriend?”
“No, but...”
“Fiancee? Fuck buddy?”
“No! No, I – no!”
“Any significant ladies in your life right now, sweetie?”
“Well – no. But...”
“Cool. Give me another cupcake.”
“Here you...oh. Um. Ah. Could you – ah, could you perhaps remove your hand from my, ah, knee? Please? Ms Blakeney?”
“...”
“Ah. I think I was insufficiently clear. I was actually hoping you would take your hand off my leg altogether, not just move it, ah, higher up. Um.”
“...”
“So could you stop that now? Please?”
“It's okay, sweetie! The kids can't see, and what they don't know won't hurt them! Hey, we're normal, healthy, red-blooded adults. We have needs.”
“....I have to go.”
“But...”
“Now.”
“Don't be like that, hot stuff!”
“Please remove your hand from my – yes. From there.”
“Spoil sport.”
“I apologise. Um...please accept this cupcake.”
“Call me!”
“Dean, I would like to leave now.”
“What? Don't be ridiculous, Cas. We only just got here. Holy cow – what happened? Are you blushing? What the hell?”
“Elaine's mother Cherry thinks I should call her.”
“...?”
“She has a very poor understanding of personal space.”
“You sly dog! You're totally hitting on the moms at a kids' party!”
“Dean!”
“Okay, okay – chill. Stick with me, pal. I'll protect you from the big bad desperate housewives.”
“You are laughing at me.”
“Well, yeah. A little. But I promise I'll make it up to you later. Hey, what you got there?”
“Oh – I brought you a cupcake. Elaine's mother says they are very good.”
“See, I knew there was a reason I let you stick around. Gimme.”
“I do not think this was a good idea after all.”
“Hey, John wanted us to come. Both of us.”
“And I came, but now I think I should leave. There are important things I should be doing. Places to go, demons to smite...”
“Chicken.”
“I am not a ...why are you doing that?”
“I'm just saying – you're a chicken. Puck puck puck PUCK-UCK!”
“I am not poultry! That is a very foolish thing to say.”
“Hey, if the wings fit...”
“You are being very silly now, Dean. Stop flapping your arms. People are beginning to stare.”
“Oh, you love it.”
“...”
“...”
“That does not prove anything.”
“It proves that you love it.”
“You taste like cupcake.”
“Duh.”
“Your dads are being soppy again.”
“They do that.”
“D'you want more cake? I think I want more cake.”
“I like pie best. For my birthday, I'm having pie. With candles. And icecream.”
“Oh.”
“But I could eat some more pizza.”
“Cool.”