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“You’re staring again,” Remus commented as he came to stand next to James at the bar. “You’re lucky I’m the observant one, because you are burning a hole into Crouch’s head right now.”
James turned his gaze onto Remus, but occasionally his eyes would dart back to the centre of the dancefloor of the club, “Shut up. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
With a laugh, Remus raised his eyebrow in disbelief at James, “Okay, so you’re not planning Barty’s murder because he had his hand on Regulus’ lower back then?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” James repeated, but he wasn’t paying attention to Remus anymore, but back on Barty, who had slipped a hand into the back pocket of Regulus’ jeans. Unrelated, he slammed his glass down on the bar a little too hard and it shattered against the countertop.
“Mhm, okay,” Remus hummed and finished his drink before placing it down gently on the bar, earning him another glare from James. “You know, why don’t you just…tell Regulus how you feel and then you can be all…possessive and jealous without looking like a crazy person.”
James spluttered and his eyes widened, “What? Me? Jealous? No, absolutely not.” He leaned closer, “Keep your voice down Remus, what if Sirius heard?” James could hear his voice going higher in pitch, his panic in his gut rising.
It was one thing for James to have unsolicited feelings for Regulus Black in the safety of his own mind, it was another for Sirius to know about it.
James couldn’t place when the feeling that stirred in his gut whenever Barty Crouch Jr sat too close to or touched Regulus Black started, but one moment he was looking at Regulus like he was his best friends brother and the next, it felt as though his insides were on fire and he wanted to throw multiple punches directly at Crouch’s smirking face. It didn’t help that, due to Marlene dating Dorcas and Sirius and Regulus’ new found relationship, that all of them hung out more often than not. It really didn’t help that Barty seemed to know how much it bothered James, and so when they were in the same company, made a point of touching Regulus as much as he could.
“I don’t think Sirius will be as bothered about it as you think he will be,” Remus tried to calm James’ rising panic. “In all honesty, I think Sirius would prefer you going out with Regulus over…Barty.” His eyes flitted over to the dancefloor and James watched him flinch before following the line of eyesight.
Barty was behind Regulus now, with his hands on his waist as they moved to the beat of the music. A noise rose up from the back of James’ throat and he covered his hand over his mouth to squash it. Alongside the fire inside his gut, was a sudden feeling of sadness and fear that Barty was no longer teasing James, but was in a genuine relationship with Regulus.
And that…James hated that.
Across the space, Barty and Regulus did a one eighty so Barty had his back to him and Regulus…Regulus looked up and met James’ eyes, staring right into his soul and turning his insides moulton. There was a fire behind Regulus’ eyes and then, much to James’ shock and surprise, he raised an eyebrow.
James’ mind began spiralling instantly. Was the eyebrow Regulus asking why he was staring? Was the eyebrow Regulus asking if James was going to do something about it? Was he even raising his eyebrow at James or was James making the whole thing up in his head.
A nudge came to his left side and James broke the intense stare down with Regulus to frown at Remus. “Mate, what the fuck?”
“Go over there, he’s basically begging you to intervene at this point.” Remus groaned. “I really hate being the only person with a logical brain in this friend group. It’s exhausting.” He fixed James with a pointed stare. “Go talk to him. I mean it James. Pining is beneath you.”
Pining was undoubtedly not beneath James because instead of striding across the club floor and ripping Regulus away from Barty, he turned on his heel and walked out of the club. The fresh air hit him like a smack to the face and he gulped down breaths of air and James collapsed onto the curb a few feet away from the club's entrance. It was just past one thirty in the morning, which meant there were still plenty of people coming in and out of the club in various states of drunk. Thankfully, not a single person stopped to ask if James was alright, he was sure if someone had he might have snapped at them.
The thing is, James didn’t just want to hook up with Regulus Black. James might not have been sure when the gut wrenching green eyed monster feeling started, but he sure did know when that feeling turned into indomitable love for his best friend's younger brother. He could pinpoint the exact moment and how his feelings went from shear elation to flat out dread.
Out of all the people that walked the earth, how did James manage to fall in love with the one person he really couldn’t have?
Not only did Regulus find James incredibly annoying and a frustrating presence, but making any sort of attempt to woo him on James’ part would be against the code of friendship. Regulus had only just reconciled with Sirius and there was no way James was going to do a single thing that would jeopardise that.
So here James was, fighting all the awful conflicting feelings of his head and his heart, sitting on the curb outside a club at one fifty three. He really was a pining pathetic mess.
“You are one really confusing person, do you know that?”
James jumped up at the new voice directly behind him and whipped his head around to face Regulus. He was standing a few feet away, arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrow raised and to James, he looked absolutely exquisite. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Regulus snorted and took a step closer, “I’m not daft, James. I see the way you look at me.”
Unintentionally, James felt his face flush and he cleared his throat, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, “And how do I look at you?” He asked, surprising himself at his confidence.
Regulus smiled a smile that James had never seen before, a smile that was soft but also teasing at the same time. “The same way that I look at you.”
All of the air left James’ lungs at the words and his jaw slackened just a little as he watched Regulus carefully, “You- what? No you don’t- you think I’m annoying”
“You know, when we met I did think that,” Regulus shrugged, never for a second dropping eye contact. James took note that even against the dark night sky and the street lamplight, his eyes were still a stunning sparkling green. It made him breathless. “Then I got to know you and I saw the way you looked at me when we were at a party and by that point, I was already pretty interested. You never made a move though, so I thought oh, maybe he just needs a push.”
James sucked in a deep breath, his eyes most likely wide as saucers as he listened to Regulus and he felt his knees buckle just a little.
“So, Barty was more than happy to assist and tonight I really thought I’d broken you, but you…left?” Regulus sighed. “That got me thinking that maybe I made the whole thing up in my head. So I came out here to ask you to your face, I guess.”
A short silence fell between them, before James found his voice, “You drive me crazy,” he whispered. “Everything about you drives me crazy. From the way you walk to the way you dress and don’t get me started at the way you dance…you drive me borderline insane. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many times I wanted to walk up to you when Barty was flirting and touching you and pull you away into my embrace.”
“Then why didn’t you?” Regulus asked, his voice a little more desperate from his usual calm demeanour.
“You're my best friend’s brother,” James admitted, feeling a lump form in his throat. “I want you, god do I want you…and not just as a hook up. I want to hold your hand and wake up next to you in the morning and make you breakfast and take you out on dates. I want all of that because I’m in love with you but I can’t. I can’t because I can’t risk ruining what you and Sirius have worked so hard on building this past year. I refuse to, no matter how much I ache . No matter how much it kills me inside to turn you down, when you’re right there…telling me you want me too. I can’t Reg.”
“You can.”
Both James and Regulus snapped their heads around to the sound of Sirius' voice. He was standing by the entrance to the club, leaning against the doorway. “You can. If that’s what you really want. Reggie is old enough to be making his own choices and, you’re my best friend Prongs. What best friend would I be if I stopped you from being happy because the guy you’re in love with happened to be my brother?”
James croaked out a noise, tears that had formed in his eyes spilling over, “Pads-”
“Also, you’re really obvious James. So obvious in fact that I thought you were going to explode. That’s why I sent Remus over to talk some sense into you,” Sirius shrugged, his lips turned up into a smirk. “Anyway, Moony and I are calling it a night. If I were you James, I’d stay away from the flat.”
“Too much information, Sirius,” Regulus snapped, his face twisting uncomfortably.
“Use protection, Reggie!” Sirius called before cackling as walked over to Remus who was greeting the Uber.
James watched, his heart beating out of his chest, as the Uber drove off leaving Regulus and him alone once more. He swallowed and turned his head, intending to meet Regulus’ eyes. Instead, James was met with a body colliding against him, smooth hands on his face and a pair of lips pressing directly onto his own.
A whimper escaped James’ lips and he stalled for just a second before his brain caught up with what was happening and his arms weaved around Regulus’ waist, pulling him flush against him. James parted his lips, deepening the kiss and earning him a whimper of his own from Regulus, who melted instantly into his arms.
James had thought about what kissing Regulus would be like too many times to count. Not a single one of those dreams lived up to the real thing. How soft Regulus’ lips were against his own, how the lipgloss he had been wearing tasted like strawberries. James’ nose was engulfed in Regulus’ scent, a strong scent of whatever fancy cologne he was wearing that night, with a hint of mint and he kissed James with the same enthusiasm that James was kissing Regulus.
Like he had been aching to do so for a long time.
They parted to breathe, but remained in one another’s orbit, something which James was grateful for. He really didn’t want to let go of Regulus. Not now, not ever.
Regulus opened his eyes and James’ breath caught all over again. If James thought Regulus’ eyes were stunning against the crappy street lamps, seeing them up this close was sure to ascend him to a different plane altogether.
“Hi,” James whispered and Regulus huffed out a laugh.
“Hi James,” he breathed back, his hands still against James’ cheeks, thumb caressing the skin absentmindedly.
“Does this mean you won’t flirt with Barty anymore?” James blurred out and Regulus snorted, shaking his head softly.
“Only if I want to make you jealous,” Regulus teased, eyes shining in amusement. James’ nose twitched and Regulus grinned. “I’m pulling your leg, James. Of course this means no more flirting with Barty. Anyway, Evan was getting a little annoyed with it, best to leave it be.”
A wave of relief washed over James and he finally felt his head and his heart fall into sync for the first time since he realised he was in love with Regulus. It was a strange, yet welcome feeling. Unable to help himself, James leaned back down to kiss Regulus one more time, just because he could.
This time, when they parted, Regulus moved his head into the crook of James’ neck, his lips pressed to the skin over his Adam's Apple, making him shiver. “Since you can’t go home, want to come back to mine?” Regulus asked, his voice vibrating against James’ skin.
Oh did James want that more than anything. He nodded his head and Regulus pulled back to smile up at him, clearly pleased with the outcome of the evening. “I have one condition though,” James bit his lip and Regulus looked at him, offering him to continue. “Will you get breakfast with me first?”
Regulus snorted and he looked at the time, it was just past two thirty by this point. They had been sitting out here for almost an hour.
“Yes James, I’ll get breakfast with you.”