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Six months ago Ted Lasso told Rebecca Welton he was leaving.
Six months ago Ted Lasso said goodbye to his second family at AFC Richmond.
Six months ago Ted Lasso hugged Rebecca Welton for the last time in the London Airport.
Six months ago Ted Lasso held back the three words he really wanted to say to Rebecca Welton.
Six months ago Ted Lasso watched Beard find a way off the plane.
Six months ago Ted Lasso flew home to Kansas.
Six months ago Ted Lasso made the biggest mistake of his life.
…
Ted was happy to be home with Henry. He truly was. He missed his son. He even missed Michelle.
But something still felt wrong.
Ted and Michelle had worked out a suitable arrangement for them both to spend time with Henry. Ted had Henry every other week, and the three of them would meet for breakfast on Sunday mornings before Henry would go off with whoever he was spending his week with.
It was over one of these breakfasts that the topic of the club was brought up.
“Dad?” Henry asked, between bites of syrup drowned waffles. “Do you ever miss Richmond?”
“Why, sure I do, Henry. That team meant a whole lot to me.” He wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders. “But I’m sure happy to be here with you instead.”
“Do you ever wanna go back?”
“I mean sure. Why? You wanna go visit sometime?”
“I don’t think that’s what he means, Ted.” Michelle pointed out. Ted felt his heart beat faster, and his palms started to get clammy.
“Well, I think it'd be mighty fun to see everyone. But you’re askin’ if I’d wanna go be their coach again. Aren’t ya?” Henry nodded, and Ted huffed out a nervous chuckle. “That would mean leavin’ you again. And I ain’t doin’ that.”
“He’s just worried about you.” Michelle informed him.
“You seem sad, Dad.”
“Sad? Nah, Pal. I’m happy as a clam.” Neither his son, nor his ex wife seemed convinced.
“Henry,” Michelle turned her attention to the boy, “why don’t you head to the bathroom and clean up.”
“Okay Mom.” Henry slid from the booth, disappearing around the corner. Once he was out of ear shot, Michelle turned her full attention to Ted.
“You haven’t spoken to any of them since you got here.” She said, not as a question.
“Well I don’t see what that has to do with the price of pasta in Italy.”
“Ted, you’re avoiding them because you weren’t ready to leave them.” Michelle crossed her arms in front of her, leaning over the table towards him. “You haven’t even talked to Beard.”
“And how do you know that?” Ted suddenly found the mug of nearly empty coffee in front of him much more fascinating than it should be. It was true, after the first few weeks of being in Kansas, and Ted ignoring all of Beard’s attempts to reach out, they’d stopped contact entirely.
“He calls Henry sometimes to check in.” Of course he did, Beard was his godfather after all. “He says they’re all worried.”
“They don’t need to be.”
“Ted, you’re not really happy here.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Your son can tell you’re not happy.”
“I came back to be with him. He missed me. I missed him.”
“Did you ever consider there might have been another way?” Before Ted could respond, Henry came back to the table. “You ready to go, Kid?” Henry nodded. “We’ll see you next weekend, Ted.” Michelle stood, collecting her purse. “Think about what I said.”
“Bye dad!” Henry threw himself into Ted’s arms.
“Bye buddy.” He squeezed him back. “Be good for your mom.” He watched the two of them leave out the door, paid the bill, and headed back to his apartment.
Michelle had a point. He did miss all of them, something terrible. He was too scared to reach out, maybe scared to hear how good everyone was doing without him. How much better off they all were.
How much better off Rebecca was.
Ted’s biggest regret was not telling Rebecca how he felt before getting on that plane. He was too scared at the time. Too scared he’d change his mind. Too scared she wouldn’t feel the same.
Too scared she would.
He should have taken her up on her offer, and tried to convince Michelle to bring Henry over to London. Maybe it would have worked.
No. That was a fantasy that he could have it all.
…
He didn’t do much that day, just thought. Thought about the team. About Roy and Keeley. About Beard. But not about Rebecca.
He willed himself to think about anything but Rebecca. Thinking about his former boss just hurt far too much. Even the thought of her name sent painful regret right through his heart.
He tried to go to sleep that night, but her face was all he could see when he closed his eyes. Her smile. Her green eyes. The way her arms felt when she hugged him. The way those pencil skirts she wore hugged her body.
Shit. He wasn’t sleeping tonight.
He pulled himself from bed and entered the bathroom. He started the water and stripped, stepping into the shower. A foolish part of him thought maybe it would ease the burning under his skin. The want that crept into the pit of his stomach any time Rebecca entered his mind. And, not for the first time, he got himself off to the thought of what could have been.
The water eventually ran cold, and he turned it off. Stepping out of the shower, he wiped the fog from the mirror and looked at himself properly. Probably for the first time since coming back to Kansas.
There were purple moons under his eyes. And he’d let his facial hair grow out beyond his signature mustache. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping, which he hadn’t.
Maybe it was time to face the music.
Returning to his bedroom, he picked up his phone. 4am. Which meant it was 8am in Richmond. Which meant they were all getting up and ready for their day.
Without letting himself think twice he dialed the number of one person he knew would answer.
“Ted?” Keeley’s voice answered after only one ring.
“Hey Keeley. Hope I’m not wakin’ you.”
“No no. You’re fine. I’m getting ready for work. I’m happy to hear from you” there was a pause. “We’ve been worried about you.”
“I know. And I’m sorry for takin’ so long to reach out.” He looked at the snow globe she had gifted him as he spoke.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep there?”
“Can’t stop thinkin’.” He picked up the souvenir, shaking it so the snow swirled.
“Ted.” She didn’t need to say what she was thinking, Ted already knew. She was upset with him but was far too sweet to actually tell him.
“I'm in love with Rebecca.” The words left his lips before he had a chance to stop them, but that didn’t make them any less true.
“About fuckin’ time!” The familiar growl of his former assistant coach could be heard in the background.
“Is Roy with you?”
“Not the point.” Keeley said, and Ted could almost see her whacking Roy on the arm. He heard a third voice chuckle in the background that sounded suspiciously like Jamie. Keeley shushed him. “But he’s right. It’s about fucking time you came to your senses.”
“Now I wouldn’t say that.”
“You’re the last one to figure it out, Lasso.” That was definitely Jamie.
“What is goin’ on over there?”
“If you’d bothered to reach out in the last six months you’d be up to speed.” There was no real bite in Keeley’s words, but they hurt all the same.
“I know. I’ve got a lot to make up for.”
“I’m not going to ask you to talk to her yet.” She assured him. “But at least call Beard. He’s your best friend.”
“I will.”
“We all miss you, Ted.”
“I miss you guys too.”
“I’ve got to go. Please call him.” The call ended, and Ted was left there staring sadly at his phone.
…
It took another three days before Ted worked up the nerve to call him. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Beard didn’t answer. He wasn’t nearly as forgiving as Keeley.
“You’ve got some nerve.” Beard said in lieu of a greeting.
“I know. You deserve an explanation.”
“I know you’ve been hurting.”
“I know you’ve been callin’ Henry.”
“Am I not allowed to do that?”
“Never said that.”
“You called Keeley first.”
“I thought she might not be as mad at me.”
“Roy is.”
“I’m aware. Say, what’s goin’ on in that area?”
“Not the point.” Ted took a deep breath, steeled his nerves, and began the conversation he’d been avoiding for six months.
“I shouldn’t have left. At least not like I did.” Beard was silent on the other end of the phone, clearly waiting for him to continue. “I know I came here for Henry and I don’t regret bein’ here with him one minute. But I can’t shake the feelin’ that there was another way.” Ted swiped a hand over his face. “I get to see my boy so much more, and I’m so grateful for it. But then he goes back to his mom and I sit here thinkin’ ‘bout all of you back there. I’m workin’ as a gym teacher right now. Hopin’ that maybe it would fill the void in my heart that leavin’ Richmond behind put there. But it’s not the same as what we all had there. With you, and Roy, and hell even Nate. I miss the team. I miss the Diamond Dogs.”
“You miss Rebecca.”
“I miss her so bad it hurts, Beard.”
“It might not be too late.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Call her.” Beard hung up the phone.
…
By the time Sunday had come around, Ted still hadn’t called Rebecca. He’d thought about it. Sat there staring at her contact in his phone for hours on end, willing his thumb to hit the call option. But he couldn’t.
He’d called every other person he could think of. Talked to Higgins for hours. Even gave Trent Crimm a call. Both of them sitting through the word vomit of him admitting how bad he messed up.
But he couldn’t bring himself to call her.
“Dad!” Henry ran to him. He shook the stress to the back of his mind and hugged his son.
“Hi, Pal. How was your week?”
“Good. Mom took me to see the Mario movie.”
“Sounds like fun.” He let Henry go and moved to hug Michelle.
“You look like you haven’t slept.” She noted, looking at the dark circles under his eyes.
“I’m alright.” The lie slipped past his lips far too easily for his liking. “Come on, let’s get eatin’.” He ushered Henry into the diner.
“Beard told me you called him.”
“I figured you were right.” They took their spots in their usual booth. “It was time I reached out.”
“He said you’ve called everyone but Rebecca.” Ted felt his cheeks get hot.
“I’m not quite ready for that talk just yet.” If he was honest with himself, he didn’t think he’d ever be. Michelle gave him a disappointed look, but didn’t say anything. Which was almost worse in Ted’s opinion. He changed the topic quickly, turning to Henry to go over their plans for the coming week.
All too soon food arrived, coffee cups were topped off, and breakfast was over. Once again Michelle sent Henry to the bathroom to wash up.
“Oklahoma.”
“I’m in love with her.” To Ted’s surprise, Michelle smiled. A soft, warm smile. Like she had expected him to say it. “I can’t call her cuz I know I’m gonna want to go back.”
“Maybe going back would be a good thing.”
“I can’t leave Henry again. You know that.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what are you sayin’?”
…
Ted took a steadying breath, calming the raging nerves in his chest. He couldn’t quite fathom what he was about to do. The pink box in his hand grounding him. He sucked in a big breath, shook the doubt from his head, and knocked.
“Come in.” Rebecca’s voice, just as lovely as he remembered, could be heard from the other side of the door. He cracked the door open, and nearly changed his mind. It was too late now though, and he stepped into the all too familiar office. Rebecca hadn’t looked up yet, writing something on a document in front of her.
“Howdy, Boss.” He settled for his old familiar greeting. His whole body felt like it was on fire. Rebecca’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice.
“Ted?” She asked as if she didn’t believe it was really him standing in front of her.
“I know I’m probably not someone you wanna see right now.” She stood, crossing over to the other side of her desk. “I owe everyone here an apology. But you most of all.” He held the box out to her. “Care to join me for Biscuits with the Boss? For old times sake?” She hesitated, but reached for the box.
“It hurt.” She admitted, returning to her seat. “Watching you get on that plane. I kept hoping you might change your mind.”
“I thought about it.” He took his old spot. “But-“
“Henry. Yes, I know.” She opened the box and picked out a biscuit. She took a bite and frowned.
“They’re store bought.” Ted explained. “We just got in this mornin’.”
“We?”
“Henry and Michelle came with me.”
“Oh. Have you and Michelle-“
“No. Just friends now.” Ted tried to convince himself he imagined the look of relief on her face.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.” For once he wasn’t going to regret his words. “I needed to tell you how much you mean to me. And how much I regret not takin’ you up on your offer to stay.” Tears pricked at his eyes but he pressed on. “Every single day for the last six months I’ve felt like the biggest fool for lettin’ you go like I did. And if I’m too late I understand. But I couldn’t go any longer not tellin’ you how I feel.”
“How do you feel?” Rebecca sounded like there was no breath in her lungs, like she was suffocating on the tension of waiting for him to say it.
“I love you, Rebecca.” The tears finally began to fall, but he didn’t care to wipe them away. “I’ve been in love with you for the last three years and I’ve been too dumb to notice. And it wasn’t until I was on that airport runway back in Kansas that I even figured it out.” Rebecca just stared at him, the box of biscuits forgotten on her desk. “I never reached out because it would have hurt too much. I gave up my chance to have Henry and AFC Richmond and you. I didn’t want to fool myself into thinking I could get it back.” Rebecca didn’t say anything as she rose from her chair, moving to stand in front of Ted. He stood up from his own. The two stared at each other for a long moment before Rebecca finally spoke.
“Who said you couldn’t?” She closed the space between them. Her lips felt impossibly soft on his. Kissing Rebecca was far better than anything he’d imagined it would be. His hands found her waist as hers wrapped around his neck, pulling each other impossibly closer. It felt like lightning.
They finally broke apart when the need for air became stronger than their need for each other. Rebecca rested her forehead on Ted’s.
“I love you too, Ted.” She kissed him again.
“Well, I’m glad I didn’t fly out here for nothin’.” Rebecca chuckled, and Ted’s heart fluttered in his chest.
It would take some figuring out, that was for certain, but, now that Ted could hold her, and he could actually have everything he wanted, none of it seemed that complicated.