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Impulse Control

Summary:

In the aftermath of an anxiety induced episode, Yelena finds herself dealing with the more prolonged repercussions of her actions. Even still, she finds herself having a difficult time with allowing the healing process to run its course.

Luckily, she’s got a loving and insistent big sister to help her.

(Acts as a continuation of “I Still Need You” but can be read as it’s own thing)

Notes:

For context, go and read the story “I Still Need You” as the events in that story pertain to the happenings of this one 💖

Tw for mild cursing

Russian to English translation:

Der’mo- shit

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

CRASH

 

“Der’mo!”

 

Yelena’s eyes flew open, bolting upright in bed as she was knocked out of unconsciousness by what sounded like shattering glass. She blinked a few times to get the sleepy out before scanning all around the room for any sign of intruders. She saw none. As she was adjusting to being awake, she subconsciously reached over to the other side of the bed, laying her hand down on it, only to find it empty. A microsecond of terror coursed through Yelena’s veins before it was stifled by the soft footsteps and string of gurgled Russian swears coming from her older sister. 

 

Yelena let out a small sigh of relief before flopping back down onto the pillow, hoping to resume unconsciousness for just a little bit longer. However, due to the shear amount of noise now penetrating her eardrums, she couldn’t seem to fall back asleep. The blonde let out a defeated sigh and just yanked the covers off. 

 

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed. As her feet hit the hardwood, she let out a sudden hiss of pain at her left foot, currently bandaged up. 

 

Now, Yelena had had her fair share of broken bones and stab wounds, so she was no stranger to the pain that each one inflicted. However, she’d be lying if this particular incident hadn’t actually caught her by surprise. 

 

How was she supposed to know that dropping a 40 lb husk of tree bark onto her foot like she did would actually crack the bone? 

 

As soon as Natasha had seen it, she had made quick haste of wrapping it. It wasn’t til a few days later when Yelena was still complaining over sharp pains shooting through her entire foot from her toes all the way up to her ankle that Natasha started to suspect something else may be going on. Having been trained in both the Red Room and SHIELD, she knew how to check for any infractions.

 

 Sure enough, the bone was cracked. 

 

In hindsight, despite having not really been in her best state of mind, Yelena should’ve known that putting that much pressure down on her foot could’ve had more prolonged repercussions. Well, she was paying for it now. 

 

Yelena went to fully stand, and felt as the pain shot up her ankle at the sudden weight being distributed. However, being the elite assassin she was, she did her best to ignore it and made her way toward the kitchenette where she’d heard her sister’s voice. 

 

As she walked, she noticed a slight limp from the pain of the broken bone. The pain was a bit more intense than it had been a couple days ago. That didn’t stop her though as she hobbled out of the bedroom and into the kitchenette area, where she proceeded to find a slightly frazzled Natasha, down on her pajama clad knees, trying to pick up broken shards of glass. Yelena leaned herself against the wall and watched with slight amusement. 

 

“For someone that’s supposedly the greatest at being stealthy, you sure do make a lot of racket.” 

 

Natasha froze a bit as she heard the snide comment come from her younger sister. She rolled her eyes a bit before resuming her initial task of cleaning up the broken plate that she had somehow dropped. 

 

“Real funny, Yelena, real funny.” Natasha commented as she went to pick up a particularly large shard. Yelena couldn’t help but huff a bit in amusement. 

 

“Aw thanks! You know, I’m quite hilarious from time to time.” She sarcastically shot back. This prompted Natasha to whip her head up with an unamused glare at her snarky sister. 

 

However, the glare suddenly turned to frantic irritation as she finally registered the situation at hand. 

 

“Yelena, what the hell are you doing!?” She suddenly screamed, scrambling to her feet. Yelena was taken aback by her frantic state for a brief second, til she looked down at her wrapped foot, and it suddenly made sense. 

 

Oh yea, she wasn’t supposed to be on it.

 

“Relax, Sestra, I just came in here to see what all the racket was about. Thought maybe there was a bugler or something.” Yelena tried to explain, suddenly shifting herself as to not put as much weight down on her broken foot. As she did so, Natasha finally managed to approach her with crossed arms and a very unamused face. Yelena gave her a sheepish grin, knowing she was in trouble.

 

“Ok, one, if there was someone stupid enough to try and rob us, you know I would take care of them. And two, you know you’re not supposed to be on that foot until the bone is healed!” 

 

Yelena’s grin deflated as she noticed her sister’s strict tone. “Ugh, you know I’ve dealt with broken bones before, this isn’t any different, I’ll be fine.” 

 

“It IS different because the Red Room made you suffer and have to drown out the pain.” Natasha knew all too well how the Red Room handled broken bones. The same way they did with illness. You either sucked it up or you were disposed. Natasha’s face softened a bit as she reached a hand out to Yelena’s cheek. “You’re not going to suffer anymore, not if I have anything to say about it.” 

 

Yelena was about to argue, but the softness in her sister’s eyes and warmth of her hand caressing her cheek made the argument die on her tongue. With another defeated sigh, she closed her eyes and leaned onto her sister’s hand. 

 

“Ok fine.” 

 

Natasha removed her hand and instead wrapped her arm around Yelena’s torso, steadying her on her feet as she helped her make her way back to the bedroom. As soon as they reached the bed, Yelena unceremoniously flopped down onto it. Natasha grabbed a spare pillow and used it to prop her injured leg up. Yelena winced a little in pain but overall felt decently comfortable. 

 

“Get some rest, Malyshka, and you’ll be healed in no time.” 

 

Yelena nodded, hoping that her sister was right. 

 

—————————————-

 

A few days later 

 

Yelena had been doing her best to stay off her injured foot, only using it to go to the bathroom or grab an occasional snack from the kitchen. She noticed now that on top of her foot being broken, the damn thing was now swollen as well. It wasn’t swelled up too bad, but enough to make a noticeable difference in size between the top of her left foot and her right. 

 

Natasha has helped her to replace the bandages with a compression sock, hoping that the pressure would help stabilize her foot and allow the bone to heal faster. This didn’t mean she was safe to walk on it, but it should help speed the healing process up if by just a little. 

 

Only problem being, with not being able to even walk in place, Yelena was completely and utterly bored.

 

She was so used to being on her feet either for missions or just taking the casual walk every now and then that it had never occurred to her how much she not only moved, but enjoyed moving. Being still for so long made her feel an uncomfortable itch in her body, making her restless and needing to suppress the urge down. But of course, she was stuck. 

 

The sisters were currently lounging on the couch. Natasha sitting casually on one end while Yelena was laying across with her feet in her lap. Normally, she would be resting her feet in her sister’s lap to simply annoy her, but given that she had to keep her foot “propped” up, it gave her a free pass regardless. 

 

Still, she wanted to move. The urge growing more and more as she laid there stagnant. Even just to use the bathroom would suffice, anything to suppress the urge down. Yelena started to casually swing her right foot off Natasha’s lap and onto the couch, hoping she wouldn’t grow suspicious of it. Luckily, she was occupied with her computer in her lap. 

 

However, as soon as she went to swing her left foot over as well, a firm hand grabbed her ankle, stopping her leg in place. 

 

“And just where do you think you’re going?” 

 

Yelena huffed, wincing a bit at the pain of her sister firmly grasping her ankle like that. She had to resist the temptation to kick her shin for holding it so tightly like that. Luckily, she let go seconds after. 

 

“I have to use the bathroom, unless you want me to piss on the couch.” Yelena shot back. Natasha gave her a very unamused glare. 

 

“You piss on my couch, you’re cleaning it up” Natasha answered reasonably. But nevertheless, she moved herself over so she could help Yelena up and to the bathroom. 

 

“Bah! I can do it myself!” Yelena stopped her before she could grab her. She knew she would have to try and make it without putting support on her foot, so she did the only other thing she could think of. 

 

She threw herself off the couch and crawled. 

 

“Yelena, you cannot be serious right now..” Natasha watched in agitation and slight amusement as her younger sister traveled on all fours to the bathroom.

 

“What? You said not to put any weight on it! So I’m not using it at all!” Yelena commented, Natasha just pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

She was quite the source of entertainment sometimes. 

 

——————————————

 

A couple weeks later 

 

Yelena had noticed a drastic decrease in pain. The swelling was still prominent and a small, brown bruise was starting to form, but she was able to walk better on it and without as bad of a limp. She was sure the bone was healing. 

 

But of course, her absolute paranoid freak of a sister wasn’t convinced. 

 

“Yelena, it’s only been two weeks. That bone is definitely not healed yet.” She remarked. Yelena just rolled her eyes at the worrisome behavior. 

 

“Natasha, I am doing much better! See? There is not as bad a limp anymore when I walk on it.” Yelena proudly proclaimed, wincing slightly at the pain still going through it but was trying on so very hardly to shove down. Even though Natasha caught it anyway. 

 

“Uh huh, and if you want it to keep making that kinda progress, you’ll continue to stay off of it until it’s fully healed!” Natasha grabbed her sister’s arm and dragged her over to the couch, where she sat her down and placed a pillow under her leg to keep the foot propped up. Yelena just crossed her arms, pouting a bit. 

 

It wasn’t until she heard a ping from her phone that she uncrossed her arms to read the text. 

 

“There’s a widow in the area that hasn’t received the antidote!” She said almost excitedly. She hadn’t been out of the house at all in two weeks. This was her chance to be able to get out again. She was probably healed enough. 

 

“I know you are not serious right now.” Natasha answered without even turning around from placing a box of granola bars in the pantry. 

 

“Cmon! This is different! This is my mission and it’s important to me. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” The blonde proclaimed as she stammered off the couch. Natasha was quick to follow. 

 

“Absolutely not! You still can’t even stand on it without wincing in pain.” Natasha observed. Yelena furrowed her brow and pouted, but she knew she was right. She felt the sharp pain shooting through her foot as she was standing there. Still, she was also stubborn as a mule. 

 

“Ugh why are you being so overprotective?! I can take care of myself you know and I think I know what my pain tolerance is!” Yelena started to raise her voice, throwing her arms a bit like a child. Natasha just stood there, watching her petulantly pout while she blocked her from being able to receive her bag. A childish move on Nat’s part if she were being honest. But if her sister was gonna be a child then two can play at that game. 

 

“Call me whatever you want, you’re not going out that door.” Natasha stood her ground while Yelena unsuccessfully tried to shove her out of the way. Eventually, she heard Yelena practically howl in pain.

 

“Alright, enough!” 

 

Yelena froze at the tone of her voice, hearing the slight annoyance but not having much time to process it before she felt her feet leave the ground. Relief on her bad foot, but now she was upset for another reason. 

 

“Wha.. hey! Put me down!” She screamed as she realized her sister had managed to lift her off the ground and was carrying her bridal style over to the couch. 

 

“Now, You just stay here and don’t move a muscle until I get back!” Natasha demanded as she went to grab supplies as well as the antidote from Yelena’s backpack. Yelena just watched in irritation as Natasha prepared to take the mission for her in attempts to keep her off the injured limb. 

 

“And what if I get hungry?” She snarked back. Natasha was almost out the door when she turned around and went toward the kitchen, pulled out an apple, and plopped it right in front of Yelena on the table. 

 

“There. You should be good til I get back. Don’t move a muscle or I swear to you, there will be consequences when I get back!” Natasha threatened as she hastily ran out the door, leaving the injured and slightly frazzled girl to just lay there bored. 

 

“Ugh, cyka.”

 

—————————————

 

After a while, Natasha trudged up the pathway back to the safe house, slightly tattered from the mission that ended up taking a bit longer thanks to the widow being so difficult. Luckily she had backup there to help her de-escalate the situation. 

 

As Natasha turned the door handle, she silently hoped to see Yelena still on the couch. But of course, knowing how the blonde was, she knew that was probably not the case. 

 

When she opened the door, she was more than shocked to find Yelena, laying across the couch and even with her foot propped up. She appeared to have been sleeping given that a blanket was covering her. That or she just wanted the pressure from it. 

 

“Welcome back, sestra” Yelena said in a slightly slurred tone. Probably from the sleepiness. 

 

Natasha’s brow furrowed as she couldn’t help the skepticism. Everything was exactly the way she wanted it to be. Yelena was on the couch, propping her foot up, the apple was half eaten on the table, and nothing seemed to have moved. It was almost too good to be true. 

 

“Uh.. hey.” Natasha greeted her sister in a monotone voice as she made her way toward the kitchen. Yelena twisted her head around to see what her sister was doing.

 

“So.. you didn’t move a muscle? Not one? While I was gone?” The redhead turned blonde asked as she leaned over the counter, her eyes scanning. 

 

“Well no? You told me not to or else I’d ‘face the consequences’.” Yelena answered innocently with a slight mock at the quotations. Natasha ran her hand over the counter as she walked over to the cabinets. 

 

“Right.. except you never listen to me even if I threaten you with that.” Natasha reasoned. Yelena’s mouth dropped open as she looked positively offended. 

 

“Why I would never! You give me a direct order and I follow it!” She responded giving a mock salute. Natasha just rolled her eyes and opened the cupboard. 

 

“Fine. Guess I have no reason not to trust you.” She said as she went to grab a snack from the cupboard. Yelena gave a silent sigh as she turned back around and laid her head back down. 

 

Natasha pulled out the box of granola bars, intending to have one. However, as soon as she reached her hand in the box, she froze. 

 

“Hey Yelena?” Natasha asked in a very calm voice. Yelena’s head turned a bit to look at her sister with her hand in the granola box. 

 

“What is it?” Yelena asked out of curiosity. 

 

“Just wondering, how many granola bars have you eaten this week?” Natasha asked calmly. 

 

“I don’t know, maybe 2 or 3, there should be plenty for you, don’t worry.” Yelena said way too sweetly even for her, but she genuinely wondered where she was going with this. 

 

“And you didn’t have any today?” Natasha asked. Yelena paused a microsecond before answering. 

 

“How could I when I’ve been stuck to this couch all day?” She answered snidely. Natasha just started to smirk a bit. 

 

“That’s funny. Because this morning I counted 7 bars and now… there’s only 6.” Natasha told her. Yelena shot up like a jack in the box and limped quickly over towards Natasha. Her eyebrow quirked while Yelena’s were shot up. 

 

“YOU COUNTED THE BARS YOU FREAK?!” Yelena was wailing in shock and annoyance, but mainly because she was indefinitely caught. 

 

“Well I usually do to make sure you don’t eat all my food you gremlin!” Natasha shot back while throwing the box down on the table, “but it’s also a quick and efficient way of discovering whether I have a lying sister or not!” 

 

Yelena was stunned. She thought she’d covered her tracks so well, making sure there were no scuff marks from where she had limped in the kitchen, putting the box back exactly how it looked when she found it, and even hiding the wrapper inside the couch cushion. Never had she considered that Natasha would keep count of how many bars were left in the box! 

 

“Natasha look I..” 

 

“Don’t. I tried to warn you what would happen if you walked on that foot again.” She said in a serious tone. Yelena actually started to feel a bit nervous as she watched her sister valiantly walk towards the couch and plop herself down. “Now you leave me with no other choice.” She gave a sigh before beckoning her over. “Come here.” 

 

“Hell no! I am not going over your knee! I’m an adult!” She screamed out in panic. Natasha looked shocked.

 

“Over my.. what.. no! I didn’t mean that!” Natasha looked a bit frazzled by that statement but shook it off. “Just.. get over here!” 

 

Natasha grabbed her sister by the wrist, her frustration making her forget a second of the injury. 

 

“OW OW OW! Easy! I’m still broken, remember?!” She yelped in pain as she was suddenly dragged over to where Natasha was sitting, “what are you gonna do to me?” 

 

“This.” 

 

With that, Yelena felt herself being shoved down onto her lap with her arms wrapped tightly around her torso, preventing any kind of movement. 

 

“Natasha! What are you doing, let go of me!” She started to struggle, but her sister has a vice grip on her. 

 

“Since you wanna act like a kid, I’ll treat you like one. You won’t sit still, then you’ll just sit here on my lap. You aren’t going anywhere.” 

 

Yelena’s face started to become red, she hadn’t been in her sister’s lap since she was a child. Either for more cuddly purposes or purposes similar to this. Natasha always liked to keep her hostage by trapping her with her arms. 

 

Yelena was wriggling with all her might, even kicking Natasha in the shin with her good leg. But she wasn’t budging. After a few minutes of this, she started to get tired. 

 

“Giving up already?” Natasha asked with a shit eating smirk. Yelena’s face was now beet red from the exhaustion and humiliation. 

 

“You can’t keep me trapped here forever!” Yelena declared as she started trying to pry her sister’s hands open and off her torso. Unfortunately, the thrashing and pain in her broken foot sapped her energy. 

 

“I will do whatever it takes to make that foot heal!” Natasha exclaimed. Yelena was just growing more frustrated. 

 

“Why are you making such a fuss about it!?” Yelena gritted out as she was still wriggling. Natasha squeezed her arms a bit more tightly, making her gasp. “I’ve had way worse injuries than this, why is this bothering you so much?!” 

 

“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you in pain!” 

 

That got Yelena to stop dead in her tracks. It suddenly made sense to her now why Natasha would be going so batshit insane over a minor injury. She couldn’t help Yelena all the other times she was seriously injured. She may have known about them, but couldn’t do anything to help. She had to survive. 

 

But now, she doesn't have to watch her baby sister suffer anymore. And even though Yelena was stubborn to her pain, she hadn’t really thought about how it might be affecting those that were seeing her in pain. That was a whole other pain in it of itself. 

 

The pain of watching a loved one hurting. 

 

Yelena breathed out her nose. “You don’t have to feel guilty. I don’t blame you for not helping me, you weren’t allowed to.” She started. “But.. if you want to help me now, I guess I don’t mind being taken care of.” 

 

Natasha blinked back a stray tear before smiling and resting her chin on her sister’s shoulder, loosening her arms around her torso and cuddling her more than restraining her. “You better not mind because you have no choice.”

 

Yelena narrowed her eyes a bit before a wicked smirk grew on her face. “Ya know, since you just got back from a tough mission, you should probably relax a bit yourself.” 

 

Natasha’s eyebrow furrowed, wondering what she could be insinuating with that statement. “What are you getting at?” 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you.” 

 

Before she could protest, she felt herself being pushed back and sideways on the couch while her younger sister placed all her weight down onto her, effectively pinning and trapping her and she laid literally on top of her. 

 

“Agh! Yelena what the hell?!” Natasha tried to move her body but it was literally being squashed down by all of the Russian’s body weight. 

 

“Guess you’re the one stuck now, huh?” Yelena said with a satisfactory grin. Natasha rolled her eyes in annoyance until she noticed how Yelena had an arm draped over her and her head laying on her chest. She couldn’t help but melt a bit as she remembered a 6 year old Yelena laying on her like this all those years ago for warmth and security, and how much she adored it. Somehow, the feeling had not changed. 

 

“Yea, you got me.” Natasha said as she brought her own hand up to rest on Yelena’s back. She felt the corners of Yelena’s mouth tug against her chest as the soft heartbeats seemed to have lulled her to sleep. She couldn’t help the wide grin on her face. 

 

And hey, she was finally off that foot too. 

Notes:

Soo, fun fact: I hurt myself at my job that resulted in me now currently dealing with a hairline fracture in my foot 😅 which if you’re wondering, is in fact the reason this fic came alive.

When I wrote the fic “I Still Need You” and had Yelena get crushed by the log, I didn’t actually know at the time that kinda pressure could be enough to crack the bone (in my case I didn’t drop anything on it I landed on it wrong while running) and so I’ve been forced to stay off my foot as much as possible unless I wear a medical boot. Though Yelena doesn’t have that, the compression sock is the closest thing I could think that Natasha might have on her that would help. All of Yelena’s experiences with the pain pertain to something identical that’s happened to me.

So if I got any of the pain descriptions wrong, no I didn’t because I’m literally living them as we speak lol 😬

Needless to say, it’s been tough. And I’ve had both family and friends alike breathing down my neck to take better care of it and stop using it so much so it can heal 😅 but Yelena and I have stubbornness in common 💀 (also having ADHD doesn’t help either 😬)

So I hope you enjoyed. Purely for entertainment and projection of my own current predicament. Hopefully I’ll be out of the boot in a couple weeks. Fingers crossed! 🤞💖