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The heavy wooden door slams behind Kaveh as he runs out of Al Haitham’s
(his and Al Haitham’s) house.
Tears fall from Kaveh’s face as he runs, stumbling along the Sumeru streets lit up by the golden glow of street lamps.
The streets are empty due to the late hour- fortunately no one is around to see the embarrassment Kaveh is making of himself.
He's always making an embarrassment of himself- himself and everyone associated with him.
Stupid, so stupid.
He continues sobbing and taking shaking gasping desperate inhales of the warm night air as he wanders the desolate city. Too shaky and emotional to walk properly, Kaveh sits down on the side of the street in front of a closed store. He tucks his legs to his chest, rests his head in his hands and sobs.
He and Al Haitham fight all the time. It’s fine. He knows their fights don’t really mean anything- it's just their slightly (very) unhealthy way of communicating what they otherwise couldn’t. The two of them, they both struggle with words. But despite that, they know each other. They don’t understand each other, far from it- but they still support each other. They still stay by the other’s side.
This fight wasn’t like their other fights though. This fight- this one reminded Kaveh of the fight that tore them apart all those years ago. He's scared. Scared Al Haitham won't be able to deal with him anymore.
Al Haitham says he loves him- and Kaveh believes him, he really does. But he’s scared- he thinks- he knows
That Haitham doesn't like him.
Not like he used to.
Not like he did before that fateful fight when they were still academia students.
From where he’s sitting on the street, Kaveh can see the academia. Through his tears he can barely make out the building, the droplets in his eyes making the academia blur into blobs of light broken up by blocks of colour. As he blinks the tears out of his eyes he gazes at the building resting in Sumeru city’s great tree.
Kaveh forces himself up. He walks back to Al Haitham’s house (their house). They may be ending. He stands on the street in the dark. He stares at the house, where he knows Al Haitham will be waiting for him inside. That's where you loved me… Kaveh thinks.
They may have liked each other at the academia- they may have gotten along, but in that house, in their home that's where Al Haitham loves him. Kaveh wipes off the last of his tears. He hesitates, unsure if he should go in or not. The lights were still on, meaning Al Haitham was certainly awake, meaning the two would have to talk. Is he ready to talk?
The door opens and light from the house illuminates Kaveh standing in the street. Haitham stands in the doorway. He's been crying, Kaveh realises. “Kaveh. Come here. Please.”
Tears well up in Kaveh’s eyes again and he runs to Al Haitham, Kaveh’s tears soak Haitham’s shirt as he’s pulled into Haitham’s firm chest by strong arms. Kaveh sobs and shakes in his embrace, his heart hurts with how much he loves the other man. Haitham strokes his back soothingly. Still standing in the open doorway, Kaveh looks to the other man with tears in his eyes “Haitham, do you… like me?” Kaveh chokes out.
Al Haitham looks confused, “Of course I do. I love you, Kaveh, you know that, don’t you?”
A few more tears fall from Kaveh’s eyes and Al Haitham rubs them away with his thumb,
“But- d- do you” Kaveh hiccups a sob “do you like me? Do you find me annoying? Do you hate spending time with me? Am I a nuisance to you?”
Shock blooms on Al Haitham’s face.
“No. no, of course not, Kaveh. You know best of anyone that I don’t put up with what I don’t like- why would you be any different?”
Kaveh begins to cry again, full body sobs and cries that he muffles in Haitham's shoulder. Kaveh hugs Al Haitham tighter, squeezing with all the strength he can muster as if he's scared Al Haitham would let him go. (He won’t. He can't. Al Haitham will selfishly cling on to Kaveh forever.)
“I like you, Kaveh. I like spending time with you. I like everything about you. I find myself wanting to spend every moment in your presence. I like being with you. I like hearing you complain. I like hearing you argue with me. Please don’t leave me Kaveh.” tears leak from Al Haitham’s eyes as he breathes the selfish request into Kaveh’s hair.
More quiet tears leak from Haitham’s eyes as he stands there holding Kaveh as the other man calms down, his heart wrenching sobs returning to little hiccups.
“Let's go to bed ‘haitham… m sleepy.” Kaveh mumbles into Al Haitham’s chest.
“Can we talk in the morning?” Al Haitham asks as he manoeuvres the both of them inside and shuts the door.
“If we have to…” is the response Kaveh huffs
He snorts, “Yes, we have to, Kaveh.”
“Fine. make me pancakes then, please?”
Al Haitham smiles at that and kisses the top of Kaveh’s head.
“Sure. but too much sugar is bad for you, you know.” a hand hits Al Haitham’s chest as Kaveh sleepily wacks him for his jesting comment.
“Just take us to bed already, you ass.”
The two lay cuddled together under green bed sheets in a room Kaveh decorated, trading soft chaste kisses as they drifted off into sleep.