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Sophie's had these nightmares for a while.
Starting with the first kidnapping, and currently with the whole Keefe betraying Sophie thing (yes, again, she was beginning to get sick of it), they were very prominent these days.
She would say that their grasp on her lessened, but she would’ve been lying. It was pretty funny, somehow she had convinced everyone else she was okay. If she tried hard enough, maybe even an empath wouldn't be able to see anything wrong with who she was under her own withdrawn self. They wouldn’t be able to tell that the night terrors had, in fact, gotten much worse.
In a matter of just a few weeks, after Atlantis nearly flooded for the second time, Sophie swore she was back there, at Nightfall, watching everything fall apart at her feet, as if the scene had been looping itself hundreds of times in her own head. Nearly everyday it would give her an unwelcome visit, greeting in flashback or during times when she couldn’t keep her own conscience busy.
It almost seemed as if everything was there to mock her. She was stuck in her own horrible memories. Even the abandoned Neverseen hideout would find a way to wriggle its way into her psyche.
The embers of a fire start to taunt her? She cracks. (Brant’s stare had Sophie shuddering in the middle of a blazing forest. She couldn’t see the sky, only a cliff, and Brant. His eyes watching her with the kind of amusement that made Sophie want to run.)
The rushing rapids serenade her with their burbling? She tenses. (Everything was destroyed, Sophie’s feet were soaked, Atlantis another showcase of what the Neverseen are capable of. Ravagog still in ruins just miles away. Sophie shudders from the cold, overwhelming her. It’s all her fault.)
It was a monster, a memory that etched itself so deep into her thought that even the most out of the blue coincidence sent her into a spiral. The randomness of it all, that’s what she hated most.
Sympathy was little to none, the fits usually happening in her own solitude. The usual visitor wouldn’t have noticed anything out of place. The occasional guard however, would. Flora would sing to her as they went on, her voice as soft as her manner. Sandor, even, would sit down and talk to her in his shrill voice to keep her grounded. While it did make her feel better, it was also mortifying.
I don't want anyone to worry about me, Sophie thought. It didn’t help that her friends, each busy with their own problems, worried constantly.
There were always bigger problems. Things that had claimed importance more than the rest. It was always something new. Something nobody would have figured out until the last second. Another unwelcome guest on the roster of unwelcome guests. It almost made Sophie think that she was her own bad omen: the one who pushed back everybody trying to succeed. She felt like a troll under a bridge, or a dragon guarding a castle. A burden to all of them.
So, walking into the upturned hideout was not helping her, but what did it matter? The hideout was abandoned, and Sophie walked in, hoping that the place would get them the answers they needed.
Her friends were counting on her, they needed her to be able to take the neverseen down. Sophie pulled herself together, a facade to keep from falling apart right on the spot. Even the shadows could taunt her at this point.
Something creaks. She inhales.
(The smell of burning flesh infested her lungs. Sophie couldn’t breathe, not with the sedatives under her nose. Where was Dex? They needed to escape, needed to get out-)
Sophie sat at a cliff at Havenfield, a sparkling ocean below her. The moon sat above, full and bright, illuminating the view in a soft glow. Behind her, in the house, Grady and Edaline had decided to hold a celebration for her. Something about her end of term grades, Sophie thinks, but she wasn't listening all that much.
All of her friends had been invited, and seeing all of them having fun for once made her feel so much calmer. Biana and Marella had probably been through the entire house by now.
At one point, it all became too loud. The noises had begun mixing together, and before she knew it, she had made her way outside.
The wind waved through Sophie's hair, cold and crisp, causing her face to be tinged with soft pink. Weather like this was her favorite.
Everything was peaceful. The party continued in the distance, a small ambient buzz going along with the tilting trees and waving shrubs. Sophie felt like she could finally breathe, and it was nice.
"Foster. What a coincidence seeing you here."
The wind stilled. The trees and shrubs grew to their full height, laying still. Sophie’s faint smile faded. She turned.
In a blink, she had seen a white eye, a cloak and the sheathed figure darting towards her. The cold metal of a knife dug its way into her throat, and doom set in her tensed body.
"Careful now. One scream, and I slit your throat. And I can snap your neck like a twig, understand?" the cloaked figure whispered in her ear, "You wouldn’t want your friends finding you at the bottom of this ridge. You won’t be as pretty bruised and lifeless."
The knife seeped into Sophie's skin, and she gasped.
They spoke in a way that had the alarm bells ringing in Sophie's head. She knew nothing of this member, nothing familiar but the screaming in her mind to escape, but she was not about to get herself killed right now. Not again.
Sophie ignored every bone in her body itching to respond, to move, to do something. Whoever this was, it wasn't anyone Sophie knew of, and she wouldn't be able to predict what their ability could be. What they might do. Sophie was defenseless, and she tried not to express how scared she was.
The cloaked figure snickered, "Staying silent, are we?"
She grit her teeth in frustration.
"Anywho, let me tell you something. The Neverseen are planning another attack. Don’t get in our way," They dug the blade in even harder, nearly choking Sophie.
“What… do you want from me?” Sophie finally rasped.
"So she speaks! Well, because I'm so kind, I can tell you this. You are part of the plan, assuming it works correctly. We need you alive. Stay out of whatever thing your groups are planning, and you and your friends will live. This is the only warning you get.”
The figure let go, stepping away, “Alright then, I'll be out of your hair. See you later, Sophie Foster."
And then they were gone. Dust swirled in the air where they once stood. The dust coated Sophie’s throat, her eyes watering.
Sophie practically threw herself away from the cliff, coughing and wheezing her way from the edge.
Her mind spun violently, whether it was from the information that was just hurled at her or the way she was struggling to stay awake anymore, she doesn't know.
Black spots painted the edges of her vision. Sophie used the last of her willpower to call for help.
Sophie curled up, hugging her legs tight while laying down on her side.
"No... N-No please... not now, please not now," Sophie pleaded to no one.
The last thing she felt was a trickle of blood slither down the side of her neck, and with a last plea, Sophie was out.
-
Voices. So many voices, Sophie had a hard time making out words from her half-conscious state.
Sophie tried moving, and quickly realized she was tied to something. The bonds tight around her wrists and ankles. She was blindfolded, and so with sight out of the way, Sophie was forced to listen.
"She's awake again, sir," someone said from farther away.
Footsteps. Sophie wanted to scream, each step clicking against the ground with such force, and yet a horrifically slow, agonizing pace.
"Hey, Sophie. I know you hear me. Remember this. If you don't tell us what you know, there will be consequences," a second voice whispered in her ear.
Sophie choked away her fear, keeping her voice as steady as possible,"I don't know anything."
Before she could think, hands grabbed her wrists. Heavy and definitely angry. A warmth crawled up her body. Sophie squirmed.
"I'm going to ask you this one last time," the voice spoke, eerily calm, leaving no room for argument. As if Sophie would magically know what they wanted from her, "what do you know about the Black Swan?"
"I said I don't know!"
Sophie screamed as her wrists burned with new heat, sweltering so strong she knew they were going to be scarred. She could feel herself slipping from reality, and anything was better than the smell of burning skin.
A slap stunned her into unfortunate lucidity, "Stay up, Sophie. I'm not done with you yet."
Tears seeped through the blindfold, and Sophie whispered meekly, "I don't know what you're talking about. Please just let us go."
The voice just sighed, like she was some nuisance, some obstacle that was in the way, "Fine. We'll be back later, Sophie. Put her under."
“No! No, please don’t-” Sophie attempted to thrash away from the smell, thick cloth suffocating, throat burning. The scent of chlorophyll overpowered her senses.
Her head felt light again, the blessing (or was it a curse?) of clarity forced from her desperate reach.
And then she was gone again.
-
The second Sophie opened her eyes again, she was met with the break of dawn. Bright colors painted the sky, hues of pink and purple splattered in lieu of stars.
Sophie blinked again, indulging in her surroundings. Calla’s panakes tree fell tenderly around her, as if a brush of wind could blow it away.
Havenfield’s residence sat calmly on the horizon, gracefully blocking the sun, consuming the light for itself. The party seemed to have ended, the lack of chaos and people to show for it.
Nobody noticed.
(How did no one notice? They must have realized she was gone. Someone would've come looking for her. Surely she wasn't forgotten…?)
Sophie reached up towards her neck, feeling for the place that had been sliced. Miraculously, the cut on her neck seemingly vanished, the skin smooth where an imprint should've been.
She was also maneuvered in a way that was normal. Like nothing from last night had ever happened. The panakes tree was a clear way to fake where she had “fallen asleep” in.
Only her nails were coated in dirt from grasping at the surface. The only evidence she had that something had happened. That she hadn't made it up.
Sophie felt that the Neverseen were watching her, she could sense it. Even from her home, her residence in Havenfield, she wasn’t safe from them.
"Hey, Sophie."
Sophie glanced over. It was Edaline. Sweet, caring Edaline. Sophie couldn't do more than smile and whisper, “Hi, mom.”
“Did you fall asleep here, again? I didn't see you inside, and so I thought you might have ended up here,” Edaline asked, her head tilting in the way that Sophie knew was a habit.
For a moment, Sophie thought about bringing up what happened. But talking about it meant talking about the flashback. And risk losing everything she had here. And-
“Yeah, I guess I did. It was kinda loud, so I went to get some air. Fell asleep, instead.”
And she couldn't lose it. Not yet.
Edaline didn’t need to worry about this. Neither did anyone else. Her friends had enough going on as is. This was on her.
-
“Why are we here again?”
Sophie rolled her eyes, “You’re here to help me with shopping, get over it. It’s your fault you wanted to come along so badly.”
The past half hour had involved Dex complaining about why they were even near Atlantis, a place filled with only the worst of memories, “This place sucks, though! Why couldn't we go to Mysterium instead?”
“Because,” she told him, “this place has the things I need. Plus, you only want to go to Mysterium because that’s where your dad works.”
“Hey!”
Sophie giggled, “You know it’s true!”
Ever since the day that a Neverseen member had practically strangled her, threatened her, and left her to die, Sophie had made sure her mind was left distracted, somewhere that the Neverseen couldn't follow.
She knew they were still watching her, with their eyes observing her every move. So Sophie did the only thing she could do, the only possible way to get her mind off of what happened.
Shopping.
The dress part was a mistake on Sophie’s end. Edaline had recommended it, actually.
Travel to Atlantis, look for some new outfits, maybe go on a shopping spree in the process.
On any other day, Sophie would've declined with no hesitation. But one search through her closet had proven otherwise. It was practically empty, most of her clothes being destroyed or just not her style anymore.
Dex had mainly found his way into her plans completely by being annoying, not allowing her to leave without taking him.
For now, Sophie was on her way to the shops, dreading every moment she would have to spend tailoring more outfits.
The shop itself wasn't so horrible. Dresses and tunics lined the walls, with aisles full of outfits embroidered with gold and other jewels. Biana could live here.
Searching for dresses would be the easy part.
Sophie turned towards Dex, expression grim, “Well, here we are. Are you ready to make this place home for the next few hours?”
Realization dawned on Dex’s face, and suddenly he seemed ready to leave Sophie behind, “What… seriously?”
“Yeah? Why else do you think I’m dreading this so badly?”
Dex groaned, loud and abrasive, “You didn’t tell me it could last hours! Fine,” he conceded, “whatever, I'll stay.”
Sophie couldn't hold back her grin, “Thanks, Dex.”
He simply rolled his eyes half heartedly, getting comfortable on the couch nearby, limbs splayed out in a way that did not seem comfortable.
The next couple hours consisted of Sophie stretching her arms out, and getting every piece of her body measured, as a way to ensure that everything being tailored fit to the exact centimeter.
Some time later, Sophie managed to catch a glimpse of Dex, who was half asleep, eyes closed and terribly bored. From where Sophie stood, he was definitely drooling.
Upon the third hour, Sophie was finally out of her 6th dress, and seriously ready to leave. Dex was still fast asleep.
Sophie lightly nudged him, and he startled, “Is it over?”
She rolled her eyes, pushing him again, “Yes, you dingus. Wake up. Let’s go.”
Dex sat up, swiping away the drool from his cheek clumsily. Sophie was halfway out of the door when someone else had entered through, bumping her shoulder roughly.
Sophie stumbled, “Oh! I’m so sorry…”
But the man had walked right past her, as if she wasn’t there and nearly got toppled over.
The man was just only slightly taller than her, with broad shoulders and eyes that she swore were recognizable.
Before she could drag Dex and herself outside of the shop and back home, the man spoke, eyes flitting to Sophie’s for the slightest moment. They weren’t noticeable enough for anyone except Sophie to see.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but I need help with…”
Sophie blanched, terror flooding her veins.
That-
(“Careful, now… You wouldn’t want your friends finding you at the bottom of this ridge now.”)
“No. Not here,” she pleaded.
Sophie threw herself towards the door, not even bothering to hear the rest of the sentence. Dex jumped up, suddenly more alert than just a few minutes ago, “Hey, Sophie, hold on!”
She might’ve fallen into the busy street if Dex hadn’t caught her, “Woah, Sophie, what's going on?”
But Sophie couldn’t hear him anymore. She couldn’t hear anything but the rushing of her heart, as well as the gross, slimy breath of the man who had been breathing down her neck. The blade glossed over her neck, and now she’s back there, the ridge, the dirt clinging to her nails even now, the exchange of threats.
She… she needs to leave.
The thought cascades her mind, and suddenly it's all she can think. A mantra ofI need to leave. Dex is still gripping onto her arm, tight enough that she could only believe that he fears that she may leave his sight. She probably would have.
Her mind swam, a decaying place of memories and nightmares alike. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think. She was vaguely aware of Dex’s alarmed look. Of him sitting her down somewhere that wasn’t as far from the tailors as she’d have liked, but then again, she would be scrubbing off the feeling of his voice from her skin for a while. Dex is forcefully tugging Sophie’s arms away from herself, the itching of her forearms now tingling.
He was speaking, but no sound made it through. She was under a tidal wave, she was drowning, and nobody could help her.
Dex sat in front of her helplessly, any attempt to grab her attention futile. It wasn’t until he had grabbed her arms, tight yet not painful, that she was able to look at him. Really look at him.
Sophie began to notice the part of the things that had once been blurs in her vision. She noticed Dex, how eyes seemed so terribly relieved upon realizing that she was more aware of her surroundings. She noticed how tense he looked, shoulders hitched high enough she swore he was going to turn into a turtle at any moment. It was a little funny, seeing him so uptight and Sophie had to stifle a giggle.
Once Sophie was finally able to see, albeit still scattered, she noticed how far she had ended up from the Tailor shop. From the man.
It will never be far enough, and Sophie succeeded in yanking a finger tip full of lashes out. As she moved to even out the other eye, Dex poked her face aggressively as she attempted to swat him away, and then he called out again, “Sophie? Are you with me?”
This time, she nodded, annoyed from his ways of grasping her attention, and annoyed that they even worked.
His relief was tangible, the crisp air finally melding down into something more breathable. Dex nearly seemed to slump when he exhaled, and Sophie watched him for a moment, eyes flitting through every detail.
“Okay.. good. That’s great,” he muttered, “We should get you back to Havenfield. You ready?”
Sophie forced herself to meet his eyes, unblinking and yet still encouraging. They moved back and forth, as if he really sees her for the person she is, not who everyone needs her to be.
Ever since her first year in the Forgotten cities, with getting kidnapped and what came after, Sophie could tell that Dex and her had changed. They shared something nobody else would be able to understand. The fear of escaping the enemies they now know as the Neverseen, the fight for their survival that hadn’t even been guaranteed when they had first escaped was something that they neither had spoken about. They didn’t have to.
It was strange, Sophie knew, but so was everything else about her. This was just another to the long list.
Dex was patiently awaiting her response, keeping the spark of him there. That was all she needed.
“Yeah. I never liked this place anyway.”
Dex grinned, and then they were leaving. Just Sophie and Dex and the world that favored testing them both. Reach their limits and then push them some more. Breaking them and then gluing them together again.
Two halves through hell and back, and Sophie wouldn't change it for anything.
For now, it could wait.
Those nightmares haunting her dreams, crawling into the corners of her mind and causing her to spiral could wait. They could wait for as long as it takes to feel whole again.
Because although the Neverseen are planning something, something so big that Sophie has chosen to pretend to ignore it for everyone's benefit, it can wait if it means one more day to have this (false) sense of normalcy.
Everything will be fine, because Sophie has her friends and her friends have her, and that’s the only thing she needs to know.