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"Great, now my new guardian will be an angel of the Lord?"
A mocking, rough voice broke the silence. The scraping of the door hinges was like a strange, short melody.
It was followed by the clatter of shiny black shoes. A beige trench coat, slightly worn from time and frequent use, swayed in the wind.
"Where did you take my restless brother? But you know what? You don't have to answer, because I don't care. I hope we're rid of that bore forever."
Castiel entered the room without looking up. However, his nostrils were tickled by the familiar pungent smell of sulfur. Not the usual pleasant smell of cheap perfume, an Impala, and cherry pie with skin. All of this dissolved into the scent of the creature from hell sitting on a metal table, tied with strong ropes and caught in a devil's trap.
“Come to carry out Sam's orders like an obedient soldier?" How is this...worthlessly” the creature pretending to be Dean sneered.
After inspecting the necessary equipment laid out on the table, Cas exhaled.
“Don't worry, he will be back soon”.
That was all he replied, ignoring the taunts. The hands slowly reached for the syringe lying in the iron vessel.
"In the meantime, you kindly pump me with human blood, hoping that it will somehow have an effect and bring the former Dean back, right?"
His lips stretched into a smile. Small fangs bit into his lower lip, trying to hold back his laughter. Castiel finally dared to raise his head, meeting the eyes looking across the room. They were not the color of the first spring grass, not of a lush coniferous forest, and did not even shimmer in the sunlight with the warmest shades of emerald-they were a cold olive hue, empty, as if plastic. At the bottom of the pupils was an all-consuming darkness, viscous and heavy.
These were the eyes of a demon. Without a single emotion, even the wrinkles around his eyelids that appeared when he smiled did not belong to the real Winchester.
It was only a perfect fake.
His gaze was a mixture of cruelty, rage, and hatred.
That's not Dean.
Castiel assured himself again.
"Come on, Cas, what are you waiting for? Stick it down my throat."
He looked mockingly at the instrument.
The angel cautiously approached the surface of the table and checked everything again. After a few moments' pause, Cas took the syringe to his fingers and moved toward the hunter, putting all doubts to rest. The prick, which was aimed at the area below the elbow, caused a loud growl, similar to that of a wounded animal, to echo through the room.
There were traces of rope on the skin from the strong jerking forward. Castiel looked at the marble floor again. Hurting Dean was... unbearable. Even though he knew this was not Dean Cas knew.
"Look at me, Castiel," Dean ordered «you're killing me, no matter how much you convince yourself it's a rescue, it's a lie you feed yourself and Sam. Becoming a demon has made me feel so much better than I did before."
Cas remained silent, saying nothing.
"And now you want to destroy me."
Anger enveloped the elder Winchester, and his legs twitched in an attempt to escape. His breathing became faster.
"Because it's not you," the brunette said.
"Are you sure about that?"
He hummed merrily.
"Yes, I'm sure. I'm 100% sure. Because I know Dean very well."
"Oh, right, yeah. Of course... the angel who lost everything for no reason. No family, no wings knows better."
A shiver ran down Castiel's spine, but not out of fear. The demon dropped the hook, intending to strike a nerve.
"I see it, Cas. Your wings. No, the shamelessly stolen grace of some angel -he glanced at something behind the figure-"that looks just... pathetic."
Winchester laughed.
"You look like a plucked chicken."
Dean laughed, but his expression changed to a more serious one.
"I'll take great pleasure in ripping out what's left of your wings. I'll take you as a trophy as soon as I get out of here."
Cas began to repeat the previous procedure again.
"I do not respond to threats and intimidation."
The man said coldly.
"It's not a threat, Castiel, it's a promise," he whispered.
Another injection of blood and a desperate scream.
“I will not allow you to escape and get out of here until we are done”.
Castiel said emotionlessly, but everything inside him was torn to pieces. The desire to stop was growing with each passing second. But he couldn't. Curses and heavy exhalations reached his ears.
"You're so eager..." Dean continued, pausing for breath, "to help me, but didn't you ever think that I don't want to...? That I like being the way I am now?" he asked.
"That's not true. The real you killed monsters, saved people. Despite all the hardships and evil you've faced, your soul is still the kindest and brightest I've ever seen. So, no, I will not believe that even a small part of you can be evil."
"What an incredible speech...I would applaud, but my hands are tied, sorry," he grimaced, "but you know .... back in hell, I tortured souls and received comfort. Alastor called me an ideal killer... when I cut that man down, I felt no remorse... I was not tormented by conscience. I felt... pleasure, Cas. I thought he deserved it. So you're still convinced I want to be saved?"
"Yes."
Castiel replied colorlessly.
"You should just get out and leave Dean alone."
"Leave? I am him. Only a new, improved version. No longer an obedient monkey for my dad. A trained animal that only fulfills the requests of its elders. Now I am what I was afraid of and wanted to become."
In the silence that followed, Cas went back to work. Another pain-filled call echoed from the walls as the syringe was inserted into his vein.
"Go away," the angel whispered, leaning into his ear.
After a long pause of almost 10 minutes, Dean laughed, coughing loudly.
"It's amazing to see your ... puppy-like loyalty and faith in me. The old me would have been thrilled and looked at you with loving eyes full of adoration."
Castiel froze. Only for a second. But it was enough of a head start for the demon.
« Oh, yeah, right. You don't know what it feels like. This dirty little secret that's been kept here," his index fingers lifted slightly upward, hinting at his head.
"How many obscene thoughts have been circling in that mind, and they've been about your pretty face...and not only that."
Dean's face was a two-fold smile. A sly, foxy one.
“Hundreds of pictures of us fucking in different positions. A lot of wet dreams”.
Cas stared at the fabric of his trench coat.
"A lot of thoughts about the possibility of our relationship, where you're with me, holding hands and looking like a normal couple. We spend time together in the bunker or go hunting. We love each other. But all this was always banished, hidden somewhere in the back of my mind. Because the old me was a coward."
The corner of Winchester's mouth twitched. For a moment, a shadow of regret slipped through the retina of his eyes and went out like a candle.
"I used to run away. I would lock it up and throw the key into a pit. I slept with women. I was drinking alcohol flavored with fucking homophobic gravy because John had been telling me for years that it was disgusting. So every time I thought of you in that way, it was like I was hearing him echoing in my mind. And then I felt like I was covered in disgusting slime."
Dean said all of this with his lips twisted into a crooked line.
"And then there was this obsessive thing called 'I don't deserve him' and guilt. All this was pressing on me, tormenting me. But now it's gone. Nothing. No feelings. Because I am not the past Dean. He's already dead."
Castiel took a step closer.
"Shut up."
"Because you're going to kill me?" the demon said teasingly, "then don't delay"
Angel was about to give another injection when his phone rang.
Taking it out of his pocket, he noticed the name of his contact “Sam” on the display. Moving toward the exit and walking down the hall, Cas picked up the phone.
"Sam, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm on my way home. I figured something out, and I hope it works."
"Good."
"How is he?"
"Still a demon."
"No sign of Dean?"
"Not yet, unfortunately."
"We'll get through this, Cas. We'll get him back."
"I know."
"Okay, I'll be there soon. Keep going according to plan, but if something goes wrong..." the silence lingered, and each of them knew the reason, but didn't want to say it out loud, - call me right away".
"Of course."
"Bye."
"Bye, Sam."
Castiel put the cell phone back in his pocket.
The thought of the elder Winchester's possible death was demoralizing, weakening. The words that the demon had spoken had given him hope for a moment, but it had dissolved like the fog in the morning.
He had to focus on the task at hand.
He turned in the opposite direction, but as soon as he was near the threshold, Castiel noticed the torn knots and the empty room.
No... no... no.
Footsteps were heard in the distance. An angelic blade appeared in his hand. Cas silently came around the corner, eyes searching for the fugitive and moving slowly.
"Cas, come out, stop playing around."
He stepped back and turned toward the entrance with the clear goal of not letting Winchester get out. One idea was forming in his head at the speed of light.
"Come here, Angel, or are you afraid?"
Dean was far enough away that Cas could go through the right door. He was two steps away from his target.
Don't let Dean get away.
"Let's have some fun, Cas. Remember my promise? I can hear you, I can see the tracks."
A couple of minutes later, Castiel was in the room in question and, after a quick look around, pressed the right button. The lights went off, red lamps came on and sirens blared. Everything was locked.
He jumped out the door, locked it, and continued on his way.
"You decided to trap me, didn't you, Cas?" the demon shouted at him, "Clever, but it won't work. Because now you've trapped me yourself. I don't even have to try.
The lamps no longer glowed with crimson light. The locks were open.
I have to do something... to keep him from getting away.
The angel stopped and leaned against the wall.
"Stop running away from me like a fragile crying girl. Come out and fight."
Cas looked at the blade, shimmering like a bar of silver in the yellow light.
"I don't wanna fight you," he said.
"But you will have to."
Dean was approaching him.
"How did you get free?"
"You filled me with human blood and I just... stepped over that painted trap."
Castiel stepped forward. If Sam were here, he would have called it an ill-conceived, terrible idea. But he wasn't here yet. And the man had to act on his own. If he died, at least he would know that he had prevented this demon from escaping and had held it off until the younger Winchester arrived. A step and they were standing opposite each other.
"Finally."
Dean's hand came up slightly, clutching his weapon.
"You can stop, Dean" Cas said.
Suspicions of the foolishness of the suggestion swirled around him, and he pushed them away.
"I've had enough of this talk."
Dean walked toward him. The fight began. Cas deflected the blows, but Dean continued to attack. His movements were precise and powerful, as if he had long ago calculated all the combinations and attacks of his opponent. It was a competition, a confrontation between two strong friends. Evasions and attacks went in circles.
The green eyes combined anger and fury.
Immediately after one of the deft maneuvers, the "ex" hunter managed to get Cas's angelic knife, putting it directly to his throat.
"How humiliating... I thought you'd last longer..." the point of the blade touched the skin of his neck, protruding from behind his shirt, and descended to his collarbone, leaving a cut.
For a couple of seconds, a snow-white-blue glow flashed in that spot. A slight pulse of pain made Cas grit his teeth. Dean staggered and, prompted by something inexplicable, ducked down and sniffed.
"You still have those drops of your grace. The old Dean was so excited about her, but now I realize why..." he pressed him harder against the brick wall "this barely alive part of the old me is screaming somewhere deep inside, begging to be let go... and you know, it wants to kiss you, so badly that it makes me sick, it won't let me kill you."
He grimaced.
"But I will...I will get rid of you, because you are an annoying part of the past me. And I destroy the past, burn it to ashes.”
The blade went down to the angel's heaving chest. Castiel blinked. So Dean was still alive. Still alive, and still with a chance.
His insides clenched with excitement and a faint ray of hope.
The blade touched the tissue, ready to pierce it, along with the body. Castiel jerked in a completely insane move. And now his hand touches the back of Winchester's head, and his lips are merged in a kiss with Dean's.
He tastes the sulfur, hates it, wants to spit it out, but continues, trying to reach Dean. The demon growls, but immediately responds with desire. There is blood on his lips because the demon wants to take the lead, so he bites Castiel's lip. But for a minute, Cas feels Winchester. His soul reached out to him. The same warm, caring, caressing one. Their fingers roam over each other's bodies.
He pulls back and lets go of the slightly disoriented Dean. The blade falls to the floor with a loud thud. Winchester steps back, no longer holding Cas. He exhales loudly. Quickly pulling out of the peculiar embrace, Cas sees Dean's face turn dark.
"Cas ....," the seaweed-colored eyes stare into the sky blue of the eyes across from him.
It's no longer the spawn of hell, but Winchester, but Cas notices that the demon may soon return. Walking over, he wraps his arms around him from behind, his hands wrapping around Dean's shoulders.
"It's okay, Dean, I'm here. I'm here."
His chin rests on his shoulder. His eyes glow with blue light.
He does what he has to do. A desperate, threatening growl comes from his throat and reaches Castiel's heart. Dean's eyes sink into the darkness for the last time. Sweat drips from his forehead.
"I'm not leaving you again."
Castiel says. Winchester twitches, but after a moment he suddenly hangs his head down, relaxing. The blue light in Cas's eyes fades.
Gently releasing him, the angel pulled a pair of demon handcuffs from his pocket. Putting them on him, Cas walked around him and stroked his chin with his hand and touched his cheekbones.
"We're going to save you. Come on."
He grabbed him firmly by the elbow and led him back to the "prison" to finish the job. A lot of thoughts swirled in his mind, but Castiel shook them off, concentrating only on helping Dean.
******
Standing in the library, the angel turned the pages of the book, jumping from line to line, but not reading the content.
Dean returned. The demon was gone. It was gone.
The green of his eyes was just as untouched and pure again.
Only ... the mark of Cain, unfortunately, had not disappeared at all. It remained an ugly mark. More like a crooked smile emoticon. As if Ms. Fate herself, along with all the higher powers, was mocking them.
Dark thoughts enveloped him. What to do now?
"Cas? Are you okay? You look... worried."
It was Sam's question that snapped him back to reality.
"Yeah, I... I was just thinking... we only fixed one problem, but the mark..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, slow down, I haven't slept in almost two days, if not more. And I've ridden a lot of miles. Dean's here. And that's great. We'll deal with the rest later, okay? We'll deal with the problem as it arises. In the meantime... I'm going to cook my brother some bacon and take a couple of beers and crash on the couch. I suggest you get some rest, too."
Castiel nodded. The younger man clapped him on the shoulder and started for the kitchen, but stopped short.
"And Cas... thanks for taking care of him. And for not abandoning us. I know you have your own angelic things to do."
"They can always wait, but the Winchesters can't."
Cas smiled at him, and the brown-haired man returned the smile.
"Why don't you... go check on Dean... see how he's doing while I cook."
"Uh-huh."
Sam disappeared down the hall. Cas put the book aside and went to Winchester's bedroom.
******
Castiel's hand tapped on the wooden door of the hunter's room.
“May I?”
“Yeah, come in, Cas”.
A second later he was there. Dean was lying on the bed, his leg over the side. For the first time that day, Cass noticed how well the red checkered flannel shirt suited him.
“Hey”.
“Hello, Dean”.
They both felt the embarrassment in the air.
“You look... not so good," the brunette admitted honestly. Standing up, Winchester grumbled for a moment.
“You could have lied”.
“Oh... well, I…”
“Never mind”.
“I'm just glad you're okay”.
“Yeah me too…I mean, I'm also glad that I'm okay, but I'm not.... forget it, whatever ”.
The shoe kicked the shelf clumsily. They avoided each other's eyes.
"Sam was worried about you, so I thought I'd stop by to see if…”
“Had I acquired a new pair of black eyes?”
The hunter and the angel smiled at the same time.
“Yeah, something like that”.
As Dean approached, he swayed slightly on the soles of his shoes.
"Sam told me about what you told him...we fought”
“Yeah”.
“I just...it slipped my mind. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry for... everything”.
"It's okay," he jerked his head to the side, which accidentally revealed his still-unhealed wound.
“What is it?”
"What are you talking about?" Cas asked, puzzled.
Winchester's fingers gently reached up to his neck and touched the small scar on it. The man's skin shivered from the heat and the sudden touch.
“Did he actually do it... I mean, did I…”
A nod.
“Shit” .
The touch stopped. Dean seemed to feel that he was leaving himself an identical cut.
“Hmm? It's... it's just a little thing”.
He turned back to the bed.
"No, it's not... it's not fucking... I almost fucking killed you."
Castiel stood in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Isn't this our routine?"
He smiled slightly as he let go of Dean.
"I don't remember that... how did you... how did you stop me? That...demon."
The last word was spoken with contempt and anger. A blush spread across Cas's cheeks.
"I distracted you...with one of my tricks and caught you”.
"You know you can't lie, right?"
The spots of embarrassment grew a little pinker, but the dark-haired man tried to keep his face impassive.
"I'm not sure that... that you would like the truth."
"Go ahead," Dean said firmly.
"I kissed you."
Pause.
"Say it again?"
"It's...while trapped, you, that is, the demon said a lot of unkind things .... that were not true, but then you...he started talking about you and me. About your feelings. He revealed "your secret," as he called it. When you...he almost escaped and was going to finish me off, I realized...I was...your weak spot. So I did it to get through to you. And then... I handcuffed you."
Now the shame spread across Winchester's face as well. The cards were out. There was no turning back.
"Fuck..."
Dean said with a heavy sigh.
"If you want, we can... just forget about it, pretend it never happened. I don't blame you, because you weren't yourself. Demons are great at deception and manipulation."
The conscious part of Dean's brain was screaming that, yes, just go along with it, lock himself in that closet again, pretend it was all a nightmare, the lies of the other, and everything would start in a circle again: bars, strange ladies, denial. But then the anger at himself and his fear moved in.
He couldn't turn away anymore. Peering into the sapphire of the iris, he was full of anticipation. A voice somewhere inside begged, pleaded, whispered, threatened. He wanted to run far away, but his legs felt like cotton wool.
"No”.
"No?"
"What if I... what if I told you it wasn't a delusion?"
Castiel stared at him in surprise.
"What if I really- it was like all the oxygen had been taken out of his chest-...love you?" he blurted out, feeling like a teenager again, in love for the first time and suffering from it, "What would your answer be then?"
The silence was irritating. My blood was boiling in my veins. My bones ached with anticipation. The sound of his heartbeat pounded in his ears. What if this was a bad idea? Maybe he should back out? Wouldn't Cas ever choose an ordinary hunter with a tattered jacket, a brand, and the only thing of value called an Impala? Even this bunker isn't his.
"I ... I love you too" sounded a little broken, but such a simple answer.
The weight lifted. The tension is gone.
"So can I kiss you now? Because I hardly remember our first kiss."
"Then let me remind you."
And leaning down, Castiel kissed him. This kiss was not as cruel, greedy, and demanding as the last. It was calm, but just as passionate and happy. I could still taste the blood on my lips. One more memento left by Dean the demon. When they left each other a few minutes later, Winchester leaned on Cas's forehead.
"Listen, Cas... whatever I said to you, I'm sorry, and I want you to know that I didn't... I didn't really mean it."
"I know," he smiled, but frowned, "it wasn't you, demon.
"Uh-huh."
Dean left one more kiss on the bottom of Castiel's jaw. When he took a step away, he was still close to the angel.
"So we're together now?" Cas asked.
"Yeah... I guess so. If you want us to be."
"I do."
"Okay, then."
"Should we tell Sam?"
"We should. If he hasn't already figured it out. He's too quick-witted."
Castiel laughed and Winchester could bet that was now one of his favorite sounds.
"Will you stay with me...us for a few days? For me... and for Sam too.. it would be better. I know you have things to do, if you want me to...we can help with that."
"First, get some rest, and then we'll figure it out. And yeah... I'll stay here with you... with you two. I'm sure Sam won't mind.”
"So... shall we go? I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant."
"An elephant? You couldn't physically.."
Dean laughed.
"It's just an expression. Go ahead."
"Uh... oh, okay."
"And, Cas?"
Dean called out to him, making him stop at the door.
"Hmm?”
"Thanks."
The answer was another small half-smile. And then they headed for the kitchen. Yeah, Cas may not have needed nourishment, but he enjoyed his time with Winchester. So, without hesitation, Dean followed the angel, knowing that this time everything would be okay and they would get through it together.