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i. the garden of live flowers
It's a routine recon on a planet devoid of inhabitants. Hospitable environment, technological artificats, the works. Daniel says the city used to be an Ancient outpost, and he and Teal'c wander off to explore a hall lined with inscribed walls.
Jack and Sam go in the other direction. While Sam gauges the uses of a room filled with buttons, Jack stretches, then leans against the wall, propping his hand against a blank panel.
And it lights up.
When he's finally rubbed all the spots from his eyes, Jack blinks.
Rubs his eyes again, and hopes he's seeing things.
No change.
He's standing on an iceberg in the middle of an abyss.
And he's not alone.
ii. looking glass insects
"This is new," Jack's companion mutters, rising from his sprawl to stretch, stretch, and lean against a spike of ice. "Thought it was just me and Einstein and I out here."
Jack looks around, but sees no one else. "Einstein?"
"Guy with no eyes."
"No eyes."
"You'd know him when you saw him."
"Of course I would."
The man smiles and extends his hand. "I'm John. Crichton."
Jack hesitates, then loosens his grip on his gun to take the proffered hand. "Jack O'Neill."
Crichton tilts his head, eyes Jack speculatively. "Another Jack, huh?"
"Another one?"
Crichton folds his arms, and his gaze hardens. "You an Ancient?"
iii. tweedledum and tweedledee
Jack's barely formed an answer before John's ricocheting away, circumnavigating the iceberg's perimeter, stooping to swipe at the blackness as if he can see water under his fingertips.
Jack catches bits of Crichton's mutterings, but he's too wary to get close enough to decipher them all.
"...down the rabbit hole, and no pills to make it better."
"Hey!" Jack steps forward, interrupting Cricthon's path. "What did you say about the Ancients? What do you know about them?"
Crichton smirks, then spin around and begins the trip again, counter-clockwise.
Jack sighs.
iv. wool and water
After several minutes of watching Crichton walk, around and around, Jack trudges to the center of the iceberg, such as it is, and sits down.
When Crichton starts to slow down, Jack tries another question.
"How long have you been stuck here, John?" He tacks the name on, hoping to get a better response. It works.
"How long?" Crichton halts, spreads his arms wide, as if to embrace the nothing beyond. "Long as the galaxy and twice as deep." He laughs, almost hysterically. "Try thinking outside the clocks, O'Neill."
Jack ponders that for a second. "Long time, then?"
Crichton nods. "A very long time."
v. humpty dumpty
Jack's watch is stopped, possibly since that flash of light that landed him in Never-Never Land.
He counts out the minutes, for kicks, but after seventeen counts of sixty, he realizes he's been using Crichton's steps as a metronome, and gives up the idea for lost.
"Have you tried getting out of here?"
Crichton's steps stutter to a halt, again, and he slumps to the ground. Jack starts forward, but Crichton looks up again, and there's despair etched on his face.
"I can't."
"You can't what?" Jack settles back down again. "You can't get out?"
"I can't try."
"Why not?"
"The universe might collapse."
Jack doesn't really have an answer for that, so he throws his arms in the air and yowls.
It seems like the thing to do.
vi. the lion and the unicorn
When Jack is finished with his primal scream, he realizes that Crichton's been laughing for a while. He scowls at the man, tempted to grab his gun again, just to freak him out.
Rules don't seem to apply here on the iceberg at the end of the universe, after all, and really, there's not much else to do.
Crichton finally quells his mirth, however, and he grins up at Jack with something akin to sanity in his expression.
"I did the same thing for a couple of days." He chuckles ruefully, and climbs up to sprawl beside Jack. "Then I lost my voice, and Einstein showed up and told me not to waste my energy."
"Yeah, I get that. Except for the Einstein part." Jack clears his throat. "How'd you get here?"
Crichton shrugs. "Pulled through a wormhole." He falls back and stares up into the not-sky. "You?"
"Leaned against a wall." In response to Crichton's skeptical glance, he shrugs. "After going through a wormhole."
Crichton sits up, dead serious.
"How'd you do it?"
vii. it's my own invention
It takes Jack a while to detail the saga, what with the snakes and the Egyptian gods and the technology he doesn't understand. Every once in a while, Crichton stops him to ask for clarification, but otherwise he gets through his version of the story, if not a scientifically accurate one.
He's just about to get to the part about the Tok'ra when Crichton leaps up and does a quick jig.
"Everything all right?" he asks.
"Everything's perfect," Crichton replies. "You know about the Ancients, the Ancients built the wormholes, and you can go through them whenever you want."
"Kind of, yeah."
"You know what this means?"
"Aliens are real?"
Crichton laughs, a quick bark of mirth, then shakes his head. "I knew that one, but no."
"What?"
"It means Einstein is wrong. It means the wormholes can be controlled. It means I can get out of here!"
"Oh." Jack stands. "That is good."
viii. queen alice
"And, my friend," Crichton grasps Jack's shoulders, shakes him gently, "that means you can get out of here, too."
"That's better news." Jack picks up his gun. "So let's go."
"Wait." Crichton closes his eyes and backs up a few steps. He lifts one arm, points forward, and sways until he turns, slowly, like a compass finding north. Then his eyes fly open. "There."
Jack looks over his shoulder, but sees nothing. "What?"
"That's your way home."
"But there's nothing--"
Suddenly the blackness rips behind him, bleeds blue until a wormhole opens. Unlike the controlled ones Jack is used to, this one is wild, wavering. For the first time, he's afraid of wormholes, but Crichton pats his back. "Go on."
Jack looks at him. "What about you?"
"I have my own home to get back to," Crichton replies. "My own world."
Jack tilts his head, reevaluates the man. "I thought you were from Earth."
"I am," Crichton grins. "Just not yours."
Then he pushes Jack into the wormhole, and everything rushes away.
ix. shaking and waking
"Sir?" Someone's shaking him, grabbing onto his shoulder and talking to him.
Jack groans, and opens his eyes.
"Sir!" Carter's face hovers above him, and he winces as she helps him sit up. "Sir, what happened? There was a flash of light--"
"How long was I gone?"
"Just for a minute, sir."
"A minute?" Jack stands up too quickly, and sways, but stays standing. "It must have been hours, at least."
"No, sir." She looks confused, and he doesn't blame her. "There was a flash of light, then you disappeared. I called Daniel and Teal'c, and when I came back to this room, you were lying on the floor."
"Huh."
Daniel and Teal'c rush into the room, and Jack holds up his hands to forestall any questions. "I'm fine. Just," he glances warily around the room, "don't touch anything in here, okay?"
Daniel looks around at the blank walls. "What happened?"
"I'll tell you all about it. When we get back to our Earth."
Sam and Daniel exchange a glance. "Our Earth, sir?" Sam asks.
"Long story." Jack stretches, feels the rush of blue in the back of his mind, and smiles. "Let's go home."