Work Text:
INTRODUCTION TO HOMECOMINGS
EPISODE #701
COLD OPEN
INT. HOLLYWOOD SET - DAY
ABED NADIR, an Arabic man in his early to mid 30’s with a walkie talkie clipped to his belt, is standing behind a camera operator. Off screen, two actors are going through a scene off screen.
Suddenly, Abed’s phone starts flashing bright red and is emitting a loud alarm.
ABED
Cut!
(to the camera operator)
Sorry, I have to take this, it’s an emergency.
Abed steps away from the majority of the crew and answers his phone.
ABED
Abed Nadir. I’m currently on set.
Abed is told something by the person on the other line. He visibly internalizes this, eyes beginning to widen.
Abed passes out.
TITLE THEME PLAYS - “AT LEAST IT WAS HERE” BY THE 88
ACT ONE
INSERT SHOT OF PLANE LANDING
EXT. GREENDALE AIRPORT - MORNING
Mirrors the airport scene from episode 6.13. A black car pulls up to the curb and JEFF WINGER, male, late 40’s, tall, blonde, and handsome but rough around the edges, steps out of the driver's side. Abed walks out of the airport, carrying a backpack and a rolling suitcase. Jeff greets him with a hug before taking his bag. Abed climbs into the car.
INT. STUDY ROOM - DAY
The tension in the air is palpable. BRITTA PERRY, a white, blonde woman in her late 30’s, ANNIE EDISON, a white, brunette woman in her late 20’s and wearing an FBI jacket, SHIRLEY BENNETT, a black woman late 40’s, BEN CHANG, a Chinese man in his early 50’s, and FRANKIE DART, a white, brunette woman in her mid 40’s, sit in their usual spots around the table. ELROY PATASHNIK, a black man with graying hair in his early 60’s, sits in the usually empty chair next to Jeff’s. He looks visibly uncomfortable. No one is speaking.
ELROY
(Awkwardly)
Ah, Shirley...
SHIRLEY
(Cutting him off, saccharine sweet, slowly growing in anger)
Elroy. Not only was I at this school long before you, I have given BIRTH in this school. I will take my seat at this table if I wish!
ANNIE
Guys, can we please not fight? Abed’s going to be here soon.
CHANG
I don’t see what the problem would be! It’s not like you guys didn’t fight all the time.
ANNIE
We did not fight all the time!
CHANG
Uh, yeah you did. This school has had no drama ever since you freaks left.
BRITTA
Oh, that’s gotta be an exaggeration-
Britta looks to Frankie for back up. Frankie has a pained expression on her face.
FRANKIE
Well, statistically, student and staff disputes have decreased significantly ever since-
Annie scoffs in offense.
BRITTA
Well... well, maybe things went bad when you got here!
FRANKIE
Oh, please, I was hired to clean up your messes-
ANNIE
We were fine!
FRANKIE
(Getting more annoyed)
You guys had multiple paint ball wars!
BRITTA
Well, at least they brought us together!
CHANG
Then why did Troy sail away to get away from you crazies?
SHIRLEY
(indignant)
Mm-mm-mm, you do not get to talk about that boy like that, little man!
ELROY
I would like my chair back!
At this point they’ve devolved into yelling over each other, nothing. This is the point that Jeff and Abed walk in.
JEFF
Abed’s here-
Jeff and Abed stop dead in their tracks, staring at the chaos in front of him. He sighs. This has definitely happened since everyone came back.
JEFF
Guys.
They continue fighting.
JEFF
(shouting)
Guys!
They continue fighting. Abed lifts two fingers to his lips and whistles. Everyone stops dead in their tracks to look over.
A beat.
ABED
Hey.
The silence breaks.
ALL
Abed!
Annie squeals and runs over to Abed, hugging him. Abed lets this happen. Shirley and Britta take a second longer, but eventually joining Annie in an Abed-centric group hug.
JEFF
What?! Why didn’t I get this kind of greeting?
They all ignore him. As they begin to pull away from the hug, Annie’s hands remain on Abed’s shoulders.
ANNIE
(as if walking on eggshells)
Oh, Abed, how are you dealing?
ABED
Fine. Why shouldn’t I be?
The rest of the group visibly loses some unspoken tension. TROY, an original study group member and Abed’s best friend, has been an incredibly sore subject ever since he left to sail around the world. Even sorer since the only reason he did it was because it was the only way to get the money from the will of another original study group member, PIERCE.
Shirley claps her hands together.
SHIRLEY
Oooh, this is going to be so nice! It’s like we’ll have our little family back together.
CHANG
Wait, what’s going on?
ANNIE
You don’t know?
JEFF
Chang, if no one told you, why are you even here?
CHANG
I saw all of you meeting up, and I don’t like to be left out, ya know!
ABED
Troy’s coming back.
Abed approaches his chair.
CHANG
What? For real?
ABED
Yes. Speaking of which, I need you to get out of that chair. It’s Troy’s.
CHANG
(offended)
Oh, oh, so you guys get your bestie back and suddenly ol’ Chang is back out on the streets?
JEFF
Pretty much.
Chang angrily pushes his chair back from the table, standing up.
CHANG
Fine!
(voice suddenly conspiratorial)
But you’ll regret this. You’ll all regret this!
He leaves through the door behind him, laughing evilly. Once he gets past the wall of windows of the study room, he comes back into the last one and slams his hands against it, laughing louder. He finally leaves fully after that.
Abed looks at where Chang left thoughtfully.
ABED
Good to see some things never change.
Abed sits in his chair, placing both hands flat on the table. He stares at them for a second before looking up at the rest of the group, who were all staring back at him.
ABED
I’m happy to see the rest of you getting along. I was worried that old cast members interacting with new ones would cause tension.
Elroy and Shirley share a glance.
ABED
So. What’s the plan?
JEFF
What?
ABED
Troy’s coming back. That’s something to celebrate, right? Greendale throws celebrations for everything.
JEFF
Abed, it’s just Troy. He doesn’t need anything big or fancy or anything too Greendale-
Jeff is cut off by the entrance of DEAN PELTON, 50’s, dressed in a costume of King George III from Hamilton, crown, cape, scepter, and all.
DEAN
(to the tune of the chorus of Hamilton’s “You’ll Be Back)
Dean, dean, dean, dean, dean!
(he stops singing)
Ah, it’s so wonderful to have all my favorite subjects back at Greendale!
Dean pauses, very obviously waiting for a laugh. It doesn’t come.
DEAN
Get the costume? ...Hamilton? ...okay, not a group of musical theatre heads I see, but that’s not what I’m here for.
BRITTA
What do you want, Dean?
DEAN
Well... a certain little birdie-
Dean nudges Jeff with the scepter. Jeff swats it away.
DEAN
(unbothered)
Told me that Troy’s coming back!
The rest of the group stares at Jeff in shock and slight betrayal.
JEFF
I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
DEAN
Oh, Jeffery, I could never! Anyways, with my favorite study group back... well, sans Pierce...
Shirley crosses herself. She may have hated the man, but he’s still dead.
DEAN
This is cause for something great! So, I took the liberty of putting together a little dance!
FRANKIE
(horrified, because that, somehow, is her boss)
You did not.
DEAN
(obviously proud)
I did! And I took the liberty of naming it. I call it... The Greendale Homecoming Dance!
A beat. The group has a variety of reactions, from disbelief to amusement.
ANNIE
(cautiously)
Dean, don’t you think people will get a little confused-
JEFF
(cutting her off)
No! No, I think it’s great. We should keep to that name and never change it. Right, guys?
ABED
I thought you didn’t want to throw Troy a party-
JEFF
(cutting him off)
What? And not honor our dearest and most beloved friend who’s been at sea for four long years!
ABED
Cool. Cool cool cool. Well, I want to help plan the dance.
ANNIE
Then, I’ll help out too! A little apartment 303 reunion?
Abed blinks at Annie. They were once roommates.
ABED
Sure. But it won’t be complete until Troy gets back.
Annie nodded, smile strained. She agreed. The apartment never felt the same once Troy moved out.
FRANKIE
(pleading)
Please don’t spend too much money.
DEAN
(almost teasing, overlapping Abed)
No promises!
ABED
(dead serious, overlapping Dean)
No promises.
INT. JEFF’S CLASSROOM - THE NEXT AFTERNOON
The classroom is relatively devoid of personality. Jeff is leaning against the desk at the front of the room. Behind him, there are a few law terms written on the white board. Oddly enough, his students look like they’re interested in his lecture.
JEFF
Alright, class over. Just read chapter 12 for tomorrow. Or don’t.
Students begin to get up and file out of the classroom, saying bye to Jeff in different ways. Jeff banters back happily.
Going against the stream of students, Britta attempts to enter the classroom. She has to shove a few kids out of her way to get there.
BRITTA
Jeff! Jeff!
She finally makes it into the classroom once the last of the students leave.
BRITTA
Jeff! I need to talk to you.
JEFF
It’s good to see you, too, Britta, in my classroom, for a class you do not take, at a school you neither attend nor work for.
BRITTA
Oh, save the snark, Winger, I’m being serious.
JEFF
Hey, I’m being serious, too! I keep telling Dean that we need better security, but no one listens to me.
BRITTA
(choosing to ignore him)
I’m worried about Abed.
JEFF
Oh, good God, don’t tell me you’re trying to therapize our friends again.
BRITTA
It’s not that! It’s just that... this is a very emotional time for Abed, and he doesn’t seem to be processing any of his emotions.
Jeff raises an eyebrow at her.
JEFF
It’s Abed. I don’t think he’s ever processed an emotion.
BRITTA
And that’s bad! Imagine if you hadn’t seen or talked to... me in over four years. How would you feel?
JEFF
Thrilled that I got away from this place?
BRITTA
Jeff.
JEFF
Britta. Abed’s a big boy now, he can handle himself. God, he’s a movie director, he’s doing more than either of us ever will! Now, if you’ll excuse me...
Jeff picks up his stuff from the front desk.
JEFF
I’m getting lunch.
Jeff begins to leave his classroom. Britta follows after him.
INT. HALLWAYS - SAME
Jeff is walking down the hallways to the cafeteria. Britta has to jog for a second to catch up to him.
BRITTA
Jeff. Jeff!
JEFF
(over his shoulder)
Sorry, can’t hear you over how hungry I am!
Britta has caught up to him at this point and is walking along side him.
BRITTA
Stop joking around, this could be really detrimental to Abed! Do you remember his breakdown?
JEFF
Which one?
BRITTA
Exactly! This could be just as bad, if not worse.
JEFF
Well, Troy’ll be here, so at least he’ll have someone that actually understands what’s going on in that weird little head of his. Hell, if we’re lucky, they’ll run at each other in slow motion and kiss passionately in the middle.
BRITTA
(disgusted)
What is wrong with you?
JEFF
What? You saw how they acted. I just want my friends to be happy.
BRITTA
Can you just talk to Abed? I’m worried he’s going off the deep end with this dance.
JEFF
(scoffing)
It’s a community college dance welcoming back an alumni of an air conditioning repair program being planned by Annie and Abed. What’s the worst that could happen?
As Jeff says this, they reach the doors of the cafeteria. As Jeff pushes the door open, his jaw drops.
JEFF
(an equal mix of horrified and impressed)
Oh, my God.
ABED
Hey, guys.
ACT TWO
INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA - SAME
The cafeteria barely even looks like a cafeteria anymore. The room is covered in wall to wall pop culture references, mainly consisting of Inspector Spacetime, Star Trek, and Reading Rainbow. There are countless photos of Troy and various members of the study group, mostly Abed and Annie. In the corner, Frankie is setting up steel drums. In the middle of the room was a bronze statue of Troy, actively being built.
Abed, wearing a construction helmet, a high vis jacket, and holding a clipboard, approaches Britta and Jeff.
ABED
The decoration is almost done. It’s not as much as I would have liked, but apparently it was becoming a safety hazard.
Abed shrugs like he doesn’t get why he had to stop.
JEFF
Don’t you think this is a bit... much?
ABED
No, I don’t think so. It’s a combination of all the things Troy loves. Inspector Spacetime, Star Trek, Reading Rainbow, the idea of having a giant bronze statue of himself. It’s all here.
Jeff nods, dumbstruck. Britta looks like she’s trying to hold back a smile of “I told you so.”
ABED
I’m going to take your shocked faces as a sign that you guys love it. I have to go work out the food now.
As Abed walks away, Jeff finally finds the words.
JEFF
How much did he spend on this?
BRITTA
Told you he was going off the deep end.
JEFF
There’s no way Greendale can afford all of this! I mean, why hasn’t Frankie- Frankie!
Jeff’s head whips over to where Frankie is struggling to put together a steel drum. He storms over to her, Britta following closely behind.
JEFF
Frankie! How the hell are you letting him spend all this money?
Frankie looks up at Jeff, very clearly annoyed by this question. Her eye is twitching.
FRANKIE
I didn’t. I cut them off at three hundred dollars, however, if you didn’t notice, Abed’s made quite a bit of his own money ever since he’s won three Oscars.
JEFF
Well, you could’ve tried to convince him-
Frankie holds up the screwdriver she was using in a threatening manor. Jeff stares at it then looks back at her, clearly shocked.
JEFF
Or... I could talk to him?
BRITTA
Good idea.
CUT TO:
On the other side of the cafeteria, Abed is writing on his clipboard, standing at the counter that was once Shirley’s Sandwiches. Shirley stands on the other side of the counter, sharing disbelieving glances with Annie. We cut into the conversation halfway through Abed’s sentence.
ABED
-and, of course, Troy’s probably going to be hungry. Do you think you could make some of his favorites?
SHIRLEY
Ah, that... depends.
ABED
I mean, they’re all pretty simple. Buttered noodles, grilled cheese, special drink...
SHIRLEY
(quietly, to Annie)
Special drink?
ANNIE
(to Shirley)
It’s cold hot chocolate.
(to Abed)
Aren’t those just your favorite things?
ABED
Yes, but Troy’s my best friend. We have the same favorite things.
Annie and Shirley share a look. Shirley clears her throat before putting on a sweet, almost sympathetic face.
SHIRLEY
Well, Abed, you may need to, ah, prepare yourself. Troy has been gone a long time, and he’s gone to a lot of places, so there’s a big chance he’s changed-
Shirley is cut off by a high pitched whine coming from Abed. He’s frozen in place, clearly terrified at the prospect.
ANNIE
Or! Or, he’ll be exactly the same!
The whine stops. Abed nervously chews on his bottom lip before nodding. He takes a moment longer to take a deep breath before continuing.
ABED
(voice a bit shaky)
Great. So, do you think you can do that?
Shirley smiles a tight-lipped smile.
SHIRLEY
I’ll see what I can do.
She turns away to head into the kitchen, but sends Annie a wide-eyed look that says, Someone needs to help this boy. There’s a moment of silence between Abed and Annie before Abed continues.
ABED
Do you think it’s too late to rent a movie projector?
Before Annie can say anything, Jeff approaches the two of them.
JEFF
Abed!
Abed turns to Jeff.
ABED
Hey, Jeff. What do you think of the decorations?
Jeff ignores the question, visibly frustrated.
JEFF
What are you doing?
ABED
...planning a party. Are you feeling alright, Jeff?
JEFF
No, I-
Jeff pauses, squeezes his eyes shut, and lets out an incredibly heavy sigh.
JEFF
I meant why are you doing as much as you’re doing.
ABED
(completely genuine)
Because Troy’s coming back, and we agreed to have a homecoming dance. You should look into going to a neurologist if you’re having this much trouble with your memory.
JEFF
(snapping)
I remember what we talked about, Abed! But this is way too much!
Annie attempts to physically get in between them.
ANNIE
Okay, maybe we should all just take a step back-
ABED
I don’t see how this is too much. Do you remember all the decorating for paintball we did?
JEFF
That was different!
ANNIE
Jeff-
ABED
I don’t get why you’re so against welcoming Troy back with typical Greendale hijinks.
ANNIE
Abed-
JEFF
Because Troy left, Abed! Troy can’t have Greendale hijinks because he left, and he’s been gone so long, none of us will even recognize him anymore! Do you know what being at sea does to people, Abed? Troy’s changed. And you’re the only one who refuses to accept that.
Abed internalizes this, face never changing from its normal neutral, but it’s obvious that Jeff’s rant was affecting him. He swallows once, roughly.
ABED
Okay.
(a beat)
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Abed nods his head, as if confirming his own thoughts. He turns to Annie.
ABED
The dance is off. You can tell everyone they can stop preparing.
Without another word, Abed drops the clipboard he was holding and walks out of the cafeteria. Annie turns to Jeff, looking at him in horror.
ANNIE
What is wrong with you?!
She goes storming out of the cafeteria to go find Abed. As Jeff watches her leave, the giant statue of Troy topples over, sending the head bouncing away. As it rolls off, it bumps into multiple decorations, pulling them down and making the cafeteria look more like a recycling plant than a dance. Chang stands behind where the statue once stood, hands up in celebration.
CHANG
Woo!
Jeff looks at him with an “what are you doing” expression and gesture.
CHANG
Nobody puts Changy in a corner, Winger! Nobody!
ACT THREE
INT. STUDY ROOM - SAME
Annie walks into a seemingly empty study room. She looks around for a few second before calling out.
ANNIE
Abed?
She waits a moment for a response. She doesn’t get one.
ANNIE
Abed, I know you’re in here, I watched you come in.
ABED (O.S.)
(muffled)
In here.
Annie walks over to a cabinet behind the study table and opens it, revealing Abed sitting in it, knees pulled to his chest and rocking back and forth.
ANNIE
(gently)
Hey, you okay?
ABED
No.
ANNIE
I’m sorry Jeff said that-
ABED
No, he was right. I’m not stupid. Troy probably has changed, and I’ve refused to accept it.
Annie’s eyebrows furrow in concern as she examines Abed.
ANNIE
...can I come in?
ABED
...sure.
There’s an awkward moment where Annie pushes to squeeze herself into the cabinet across from Abed. Luckily, the cabinets aren’t separated from each other, so there’s enough room for both of them. Once she settles into place, she leans against the back wall.
ANNIE
You know Troy’s always going to be your best friend, right?
Abed just shrugs.
ANNIE
(softly, as if talking to a hurt animal)
Abed...
ABED
I mean, that’s the whole reason he wanted to leave, right? He wanted to be his own, one person. That’s what he said, at least. He was sick of being “Troy and Abed,” so he became “Just Troy” and now I’m stuck with “and Abed.”
He takes a deep breath, and it comes out shaking.
ABED
...it’s really hard to be an “And Abed” with no one to go before the and.
A beat.
ANNIE
Is that why you were so insistent on getting this party right?
ABED
I mean, kinda. I was hoping that if he liked it enough, he wouldn’t leave again.
Another beat.
ANNIE
You really love him, don’t you?
Abed doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to. They both already knew the answer.
ANNIE
(gaining a second wind)
Y’know what? Screw what Jeff said! Troy’s our friend, even if he’s changed, and he deserves a good welcome back!
Abed stares at her analytically for a moment.
ANNIE
Well, are you with me?
It takes a second, but Abed breaks into a small smile.
ABED
Yeah.
ANNIE
Then let’s get to it!
Annie goes to worm her way back out of the cabinet when Abed stops her.
ABED
Hey, Annie?
ANNIE
Yeah?
ABED
Thanks for this.
Annie awws and throws herself at Abed to give him a hug. He hugs back. After a moment, Abed speaks.
ABED
I think I may be stuck in here.
INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA - SAME
Jeff sits at one of the tables, holding the head of Troy’s statue in his lap, going at it with a tiny, almost empty bottle of super glue while Shirley yells at him. Britta stands to the side, shaking her head in disappointment at Jeff.
SHIRLEY
-and you must be out of your mind for hurting that poor boy like that! You know Troy leaving was hard enough for him as it was, and you had to go and run your mouth-
She’s cut off by the opening of the cafeteria doors, revealing Annie and Abed.
SHIRLEY
(overlapping Britta)
Abed!
BRITTA
(overlapping Shirley)
Abed!
Both women rush over to Abed.
BRITTA
Are you okay? I need you to know, what Jeff said was not alright-
ABED
I’m fine. Annie and I talked it out.
BRITTA
...really?
ABED
Yeah. Troy’s still my best friend, even if he’s changed.
Annie smiles softly at Abed, and he returns it.
BRITTA
Well, that’s... that’s good! But, if you ever need to talk about any other strong emotions you’re having, you can always talk to me-
ABED
I think I’m okay.
Abed looks past her and at Jeff, who was setting the oversized head down on the ground. He stands up awkwardly before shoving his hands into his pockets and begins to walk closer to the group.
ABED
Jeff.
JEFF
I... Am sorry about what I said-
ABED
Don’t be. I needed to hear it.
Britta and Shirley exchange confused glances.
JEFF
You... you sure?
ABED
Yes. I still want to throw the dance, though.
Suddenly, Abed notices what has happened to the cafeteria. He looks back at Jeff, slightly squinting his eyes in suspicion and confusion.
ABED
What happened to the dance?
JEFF
Chang.
Abed nods.
ABED
I had a feeling that would happen. Should’ve gotten a back up statue.
JEFF
I mean, that’s okay! We can fix this before he gets back.
ABED
No, we can’t. Troy’s supposed to arrive back at eight and it’s already-
Abed checks his watch.
ABED
5:38.
Abed starts nervously tapping his fingers against his thighs.
ABED
That’s okay. We just won’t have the perfect reunion, and the best homecoming, and Troy will want to leave again. It’s okay.
ANNIE
No, no, we can fix it!
ABED
No, we can’t. We’re out of time. It’s fine-
JEFF
Who are you and what have you done to my Abed?
ABED
What?
Jeff stands taller, puffing out his chest slightly. It’s time for a classic Winger Speech.
JEFF
I don’t know who you are, but the Abed I know can do anything with such little time. Are we forgetting all the paintball games we set up? What about the impromptu game of the-floor-is-lava? Hell, you’re the one who made it to Hollywood and won three Oscars within the first few years of his career. Your Abed-freakin’-Nadir, man!
Jeff pauses, backing up slightly.
JEFF
And the rest of you! We’re the Save Greendale committee! Now, this may not have the same weight as possibly losing the school, but we can save some simple dance, right? For one of our best friends?
The group quietly nods to themselves and confirm amongst each other in whispers.
JEFF
Then what are we doing waiting around? Britta, go print some more nerdy decorations. Frankie, Elroy, make sure Chang doesn’t sneak back in. Shirley, go start making some food for Troy. Annie, Abed, and I will get to work on fixing the statue. Now, are we just gonna stand here, or are we going to welcome our friend back?
The group lets out a small cheer of excitement. When they quiet down, a slow clap is heard. Jeff steps out of the way, looking behind him, to reveal TROY BARNES, Abed’s best friend, a black man in his late 20’s. He’s obviously grown since he’s last been to Greendale, having gotten broader with longer hair and beard scruff. He’s smiling full and genuine, tears watering in his eyes.
TROY
I actually really missed your speeches, Jeff.
ALL BUT ABED
Troy!
Everyone but Abed, Frankie, and Elroy rush towards Troy to envelop him in a group hug. He happily takes it, clearly thankful to be back with his weird little family.
TROY
Yeah, I missed you guys, too.
ANNIE
I thought you weren’t able to get here until later tonight!
TROY
Well, it turns out Levar knows some shortcuts here that let us avoid all the traffic! And I really couldn’t wait to get back home.
As the group backs off of him, Troy spots Abed. Abed smiles softly, raising one hand in greeting.
TROY
Abed.
ABED
Troy.
Abed carefully approaches Troy, looking him up and down. When they’re within a foot of each other, Abed pauses. They know what to do
TROY AND ABED
(in unison)
Troy and Abed reunited!
Abed smiles wider. They go to do their secret handshake, but as their hands clap together, Troy grabs him and pulls him into a hug. Abed, not expecting it, tenses up at first, but quickly relaxes and hugs him back.
They don’t say that they missed each other. They didn’t need to.
After what was probably a bit too long, Troy pulls back, leaving his hands on Abed’s shoulders, and looks around the cafeteria.
TROY
All of this was for me?
ABED
Yeah. There was a lot more before Chang pushed over the statue.
TROY
What?! This is already so awesome!
ABED
Just wait until Eddie Murphy gets here.
TROY
(excited)
EDDIE MURPHY IS COMING?
CUT TO:
INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA - LATER THAT NIGHT
It’s dark out now. Most of the group is on the dance floor, breaking it down among the actual college students who came to the dance, but Jeff stands off to the side, just observing. After a moment, Britta walks off the dance floor to join him.
BRITTA
What? Too cool to dance?
JEFF
No. Just watching.
BRITTA
(sarcastically)
What? See a cute girl you’re gonna try to sleep with?
JEFF
(honestly)
No, I’m just... really happy.
Britta is visibly taken aback by his honesty.
BRITTA
Really? Why?
JEFF
I guess I just forgot how nice it was to have everyone at Greendale. It really hasn’t been the same since Troy left.
Jeff shrugs, obviously embarrassed.
JEFF
It’s gonna be fun having everyone able to visit.
Britta smiles.
BRITTA
Oh, my God, is Jeff Winger admitting he loves us?
JEFF
(jokingly)
No one will ever believe you.
Britta stands next to Jeff, watching as Troy and Abed dance to an ABBA song. Neither of them are good at it, but it’s clear neither of them actually care. After a moment, Jeff leans down to Britta.
JEFF
How long until they actually start dating this time?
BRITTA
Jeff! That’s horrible, we can’t bet on our friends’ love lives!
Jeff shrugged, clearly uninterested in any further conversation that doesn’t include betting. Britta is in deep thought for a moment before she speaks up again.
BRITTA
Ten bucks on two months.
JEFF
Please, twenty on two weeks.
BRITTA
You’re on.
They high five to seal the deal.
CUT TO BLACK.
END CARD
INT. STUDY ROOM - DAY
Troy and Abed sit on two tall stools, both holding mugs that are emblazoned with “TROY AND ABED IN THE MORNING.” They’re both wearing button ups, Abed with a sweater over it and Troy with a blazer. Behind them, there are people in the windows of the study room holding up stereotypical tourists-standing-outside-of-a-broadcast signs.
TROY AND ABED
(in unison)
Troy and Abed in the morning!
TROY
Welcome back, everyone!
ABED
After a long hiatus where my co-host went to sea, we’re back and better than ever!
TROY
Yes! And we have a really special treat for everyone today!
ABED
Really? And what would that be, Troy?
TROY
We have a special interview with famous writer director Abed Nadir! Everyone, give a warm welcome to Abed.
Cheers are heard as Abed gets out of his chair, strips off his sweater, and sits in another chair across from Troy.
ABED
Thank you, thank you.
TROY
So, Abed, I haven’t been able to see much of your work.
ABED
I suspected so. No great movie theatres out in the ocean.
They simultaneously start laughing and then stop laughing.
TROY
Ah, you’re hilarious! Now, what would you say is the coolest thing you’ve done in your career so far?
ABED
Well, I was actually able to direct an episode of Inspector Spacetime.
Troy goes silent, a horrified expression on his face. Abed’s eyebrows are furrowed in confusion.
A beat.
TROY
(betrayed)
AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?