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Having grown up with Tobirama, Touka should have realised by now that many missions she takes with him tend to go awry—case in point : the secretive mission where she formally met the Uchiha heir and his best friend.
Since then they have already gone on a dozen other missions for their secret cause with and without the duo. Many of which were, in one way or another, unusual. Turns out, the two are just as good at getting themselves out of sticky situations as Tobirama is. It is baffling how nothing seems to faze the three of them.
Thus she should have expected that this mission would go to shit eventually. Especially after getting lucky enough to get themselves hired to take out their actual target by someone not at all related to their real mission. They had to find other, increasingly creative, ways to eliminate their previous targets, so it was a relief to have a reason to just outright attack for once.
Since they couldn’t be connected to Senju, Uchiha or Nara clans and preferably not implicate any other clan, they had to disguise their looks somewhat as well as limit their skill sets. Granted, the fact that two Senju and an Uchiha are working together is already a bit of a diversion from their real identities.
They were doing pretty great until they realised just how many rogue-nin their target had hired to protect himself.
Initially, they wanted to sneak in and assassinate the target, but it turned out that there were sensors among the rogues. Not having expected this, Touka was too late to suppress her chakra and got discovered.
As per their original plan, Izuna went ahead and slipped past the rogues with Kako following as his lookout. Meanwhile, Tobirama stayed with Touka to eliminate the guards.
Now, Touka is a great frontline fighter, as is Tobi, but even the two of them can’t take down the sheer amount of enemies by themselves, especially when some of the opponents turn out to be surprisingly capable. Thus, Touka finds herself in a bit of a pickle.
Touka and Tobirama managed to halve the opposition within half an hour, but that also led to them exhausting a lot of chakra. If they keep going like that, they will be exhausted before they can finish this fight. And she has no idea how long it’ll take for Kako and Izuna to join them.
Adding to her annoyance, Touka’s current opponent seems to be a really skilled shinobi as well. Genjutsu is useless against him since he keeps dispelling it just as she casts it, and to add to this, he keeps on using earth and water ninjutsu to keep her from getting too close. It’s as if his entire purpose of existence is to be as annoying as possible.
Touka barely manages to avoid a water bullet before the ground underneath her suddenly reforms into spikes and she has to jump to the nearest tree just to get out of range. To get some of her anger out, she throws a couple of kunai at some other cannon fodder and manages to kill two of them before going back to trying to kill the annoyance.
Eventually, Touka gets fed up and uses one of the many jutsu Tobirama taught her. She releases a lightning bolt at the enemy and while he tries to avoid it, she gets in close and manages to decapitate him.
Great. The enemy-nin is dead. And she’s got enough chakra for two or, if she’s lucky, three more jutsu before she’ll be too exhausted to do much more than stand.
While she was preoccupied fighting, another nin managed to get close and Touka was too slow to evade his katana strike earning her a deep gash to her left shoulder.
In an instant, Touka grabbed a katana from a dead enemy and engaged her new opponent in a vicious kenjutsu fight. As she feared, her luck doesn't last long and she is abruptly disarmed.
However, as the next swing descends towards her, the enemy nin freezes and is cut down from behind.
As the body falls, Touka can see Izuna and Kako right behind where the nin stood just seconds ago.
They nod at her and move to fight on either side of her, giving her an opportunity to catch her breath.
Having some time to observe the pair, she sees more of their skills. Touka’s always known that Izuna is good with a sword; he has to be to keep up with Tobirama. Kako is not too far behind, and her thinking helps her make up for the difference. What makes their skill exponentially better is how they anticipate each other's moves and jump in whenever needed.
Like this, the three of them make their way towards where Tobirama is fighting half a dozen rouge-nin.
At one point, when Tobirama is occupied, another enemy tries to attack him from behind. While Touka is horrified that she’s too slow, Kako suddenly appears in between them and is stabbed in the abdomen.
Izuna reacts admirably fast and takes out the nin while Tobirama dispatches the remaining few opponents.
Horrified, Touka looks as Kako removes the blade from her belly and stands as if nothing happened.
“Well, this could have gone better,” Kako remarks nonchalantly. Not knowing what else to do, Touka rushes towards Kako in hopes of stopping the bleeding. After working on a shared goal for weeks, they are akin to friends by now, not to mention how Kako’s actions just saved Tobirama.
“Touka, your shoulder…” Tobirama starts, but she interrupts him, “Forget about my shoulder; Kako got stabbed!”
As everyone’s gazes turn to Kako, she raises her palms in placation. “I’m fine. Really.” When she lifts her ruined shirt, there really is no wound, only some blood.
…What. The. Fuck? How?... Even Hashirama, who can heal from most wounds, doesn’t heal this fast.
Checking for genjutsu reveals nothing. Bewildered, Touka looks to the Uchiha to check his reaction and finds Izuna giving Kako a disappointed look.
“Seriously, Kako, I know we’re supposed to protect our comrades, but you really need to develop some self-preservation instincts."
“Whatever you say, Mr Pincushion,” Kako snipes back. “Anyway, we need to move before someone comes by. We also need to deal with Touka’s wound.”
Half an hour later, they stop by a lake. As Touka takes off her armour and reveals her wound, she’s still mulling over Kako’s actions.
“Why? Why did you jump in front of an attack?”
“Well, Tobi is my friend; why wouldn’t I want to protect him?” Kako sounds puzzled, and Izuna groans at her response.
“Sometimes I wonder if you even remember rule one?” Izuna mutters under his breath, but he does elaborate louder, “Because those who abandon the mission are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash.”
“Is that…Is that a Nara thing?” questions Tobi seeming as baffled as Touka is still feeling.
“No. It’s a Kakashi-sensei thing, and the whole self-sacrificing thing seems to be infectious,” the Uchiha explains.
No matter how long they spend together and how many illicit missions they go on together, Touka still doesn’t understand the duo. And contrary to her appearance, Kako is the stranger of the two. Sure, she’s been unconventional from the very beginning. She’s as smart as a Nara is expected to be, but there’s none of the laziness her clan is known for. Most of her suggestions are genius but unexpected, and she’s friendly and cheerful, not to mention her sealing prowess. And apparently, she can survive being stabbed.
Seriously… What. The. Fuck?
And suddenly Touka remembers a rumour she heard and dismissed a while back. About a kunoichi who could survive when no one else would be able to survive.
“You’re the Shikabane-hime?” Touka blurts out, interrupting whatever conversation the rest were having.
“Ugh,” groans Kako. “I hate that nickname. Stop laughing, Sas. It isn’t funny.”
“You’re right, it isn’t, but it’s karma since you won’t stop getting into the most ridiculous situations possible, oh goddess of sealing and miraculous survivals.”
“It’s not like I want to get into those situations,” Kako grumbles. “And I’m not the only one who uses seals.”
“Would you prefer the goddess of bad luck and unconventional friendships?”
“I’m not the only one with bullshit luck, and Naruto’s the one who befriends everyone.”
“Sure. What about Haku, Gaara, Sai?”
“They were Naruto’s friends first,” Kako argues petulantly.
“Yakumo? Isobu? Tobirama?" Izuna punctuates by nodding his head at the Senju.
"You met Yakumo and Tobirama first. And I'm pretty sure it was you who offered friendship to Isobu."
"It was either that or continue fighting. Besides, it was your plan that we help him instead of fighting." Izuna raises his hands up in exasperation.
"As enlightening as this is, we should look at Touka's wound and then go get the reward," interrupts Tobirama looking exceedingly done with this conversation.
"We should split up. We'll be done faster this way. I can look at the wound. I know a bit about healing, enough to heal the worst of it. And you two can go report mission success," Kako volunteers.
As per usual, the Nara has a point, so they follow her plan. When the two women are alone, Kako wastes no time and gets right to work, and Touka quietly observes.
Kako carefully but steadily removes clothing that is still in the way, and uses what Touka recognises as a diagnostic jutsu, and then starts the actual healing.
Even without the ability to sense chakra, Touka can see that healing takes a lot of chakra and effort for Kako, but she can also feel her flesh steadily knitting together. When the worst is healed Kako removes her hand and takes a cloth and a canteen of water from her incredibly useful storage seal and cleans and bandages the remaining wound.
"I don't have enough chakra to heal it all the way. I could try again later."
Perhaps, considering all the eccentricities Touka already noticed, it shouldn’t be so surprising that the Nara has made a name for herself, even if it is one that barely makes sense. "So… You're the Shikabane-hime, huh?" Touka brings it up again, not knowing what else to talk about. They might have been alone a few times, but usually, it was while busy, so they didn't have a lot of opportunities to just chat.
"Ugh. It's silly and embarrassing,” the kunoichi groans and puts her head in her hands. ”I was joking with a few friends after almost dying, and it stuck. Also, I'm pretty sure it was Sasuke who spread it. He seems to think it's especially funny since it also follows the naming traditions."
Touka doesn't really understand what Izuna finds funny about it, but Kako seems to be annoyed with it, so Touka tries another topic, "So, you and Izu… uh, Sasuke mentioned a few others. A sensei and a Naruto, who are they? …If you don't mind me asking.” After a momentary pause, she continues. “Also, what's up with you calling Izuna Sasuke?"
"I've been calling him that since we first met. He doesn't mind, I think. And yeah, Kakashi-sensei and Naruto are our teammates. They're our precious people. As good as family at this point." Kako's grin is blinding when she talks about them. It's strange. Touka has no idea if it's because Kako is used to having close friends in other clans due to the Yamanaka-Nara-Akimichi alliance or if she is just like that… Although, Izuna seems to be just as attached, and Senju intelligence says that Uchiha don't foster close friendships even with allies.
Lucky for Touka’s sanity, the guys come back soon after and they have another dilemma to solve. Senju territory is another half a days run, and they would have to cross the Uchiha territory for that. It would take another two days to go around, and while Kako might have patched her up some, Touka still needs healing or, failing that, some rest to recover.
With a deep sigh, Izuna volunteers, “You can spend the night at my place, and Kako can heal Touka-san some more in the morning.”
“Won’t that cause you some trouble, inviting Senju into the Uchiha territory?” Tobi asks, likely not wanting to harm their so far amicable friendship.
“Eh, Kako will help me smuggle you in, and only Madara-nii needs to know the truth. He’s likely to grumble and flail, but he has no leg to stand on considering his long-standing friendship with Hashirama.”
Disguised as Kako’s Nara and Yamanaka comrades, Tobirama and Touka receive very little interest while entering the Uchiha compound. Kako’s henge seal is very interesting, and while it would likely be noticed with an active sharingan, it is good enough to pass unnoticed with just passive sensing. Tobirama is intrigued by the seal, but he has promised to refrain from studying it before they have a more solid treaty between their clans, so he turns to study his surroundings.
The compound is maybe a little larger than the Senju’s, but it still looks remarkably similar. Plenty of patrol shinobi are milling about even this late in the evening, and Tobirama can sense families getting ready for bed. He’s known for years that they aren’t that different, but being here and witnessing it firsthand is still surreal.
The main house is, unsurprisingly, in the heart of the compound and obviously built for a big family, but not ostentatious in the least.
“Tadaima,” Izuna calls out, entering the building. “I invited Kako and some other friends to stay the night. I hope you don’t mind. Either way, I don’t particularly care.”
“Ojama shimasu¹,” Kako greets, and the two Senju follow her lead as they disable the seals as promised.
“Okaeri,” comes Madara’s answer from deeper inside the house. He comes closer to greet them and freezes at what he sees.
As Izuna predicted, Madara flails and demands an explanation, “What the hell, Izu? You’ve been mocking me for years for my friendship with a Senju, and now you bring two right into the compound.”
“To be fair, I was more offended by you hiding your friendship than him being a Senju, besides I did warn you that Naruto and Kako infected me with the ability to make friends even with enemies.”
“I thought you were joking… Wait, really? But…”
“Oh, please. I’ve known Kako and Naruto since I was six or so. There was never any hope I’d be able to hold onto any grudge for enemies after all the shenanigans they’ve dragged me into and solved by befriending the enemy.” After a baffled silence, he tilts his head and hums. “...Or beat them until they agree to be friends. That’s surprisingly effective as well.”
“You know what, I don’t even want to know,” Madara (rather sensibly) voices what all three of them are probably thinking.
Two Senju, two Uchiha, and a Nara sit around a table fiddling with their tea cups.
"... This is aaaaawkward," drawls Kako.
"Hn," comes from Sasuke.
Madara's eyebrow has been twitching since Izuna offered them tea like a good host but didn't explain why he suddenly brought enemies into his home. It is unsurprising that his composure breaks quickly in the awkward silence and demands that explanation.
"It would've been rude to just let them go around our territory while tired and injured, so I invited them over. Besides, it's not like they'll be our enemies for much longer."
Madara looks at both Senju and accuses, "So you're in on Izu's crazy plan then."
Touka panics thinking that somehow Madara's figured out what they've been doing, but Tobirama just raises an eyebrow. "We can't be in on it since I have no idea what plans you're talking about."
"First of all, crazy plans are Kako's forte. Second, I had to be sure that the Senju as a whole are amenable and not just the Barkbrain coercing them into it. Tobirama seems to think that they are. He even helped us expand on the squad and ranking system for when we establish the village."
It finally clicks what they are talking about, so Touka turns to the three menaces. "You were actually plotting and not just talking in theoreticals!"
They all give her identical 'wasn't that obvious' looks while Madara unceremoniously bangs his head on the table.
Soon after, Madara demands more information about the circumstances that led to their current situation. It is Kako who explains while giving away very little. In the end, all Madara is left with is that some civilians are unhappy with shinobi existence and made a mistake in trying to set them up.
They keep talking, and eventually, Touka realises that they've all relaxed. Tobi seems immersed in the conversation, sharing his opinions and even joking.
Izuna tends to mostly listen, but when he talks, it's either unexpectedly funny despite his deadpan voice, or he's bantering. His opinions are also interesting, but most of the time, it takes Kako or Madara to coax them out of Izuna.
It took Madara longer to relax, but he was not exactly like he seemed on the battlefield. He clearly cares about his clan, but he's also a dreamer.
And Kako is … well, Kako. She's enthusiastic and full of ideas. Some of her jokes are weird, and some are clearly inside jokes that lead to her and Izuna bantering. She's also very likeable, and it is due to her that everyone relaxed so quickly. In short, she's a force of nature in an unremarkable package.
Eventually, they go to bed. Touka and Tobirama share a room for safety despite being offered separate rooms and mostly being assured of their safety.
She's laying on her futon, unable to sleep with all the strangeness today brought, when Tobirama speaks up, "Are you asleep?"
"You know I'm not."
"Do you think the Senju are ready to sign a ceasefire?"
"Are you seriously plotting the next steps towards the village idea instead of sleeping?" Touka demands. She props herself on her elbows and gives her baby cousin a deadpan look even though she knows that he can't see her in the dark room.
"Izuna's not wrong that the Senju are about ready. It seems that the Uchiha are as well. And we're mostly done dealing with the Schemers. Now's as good a time as any."
"Don't lie. You just like working with them and are just antsy that you won't get to do it anymore."
Instead of protesting, Tobirama stays quiet, so it's as good as an agreement.
"Does that mean you'll tell Hashi about all this?"
"Izuna suggested having a final battle and proposing peace then."
"Of course he did. He's an Uchiha."
"Kako said it's his way of showing his team he cares. Apparently, chaos is their thing."
"After all the stories, I'm not surprised in the least. I'm not sure if I really want to meet the other half of the team or not at all."
"Do you think you're lucky enough to avoid meeting them? Especially if we make the village happen." Touka can hear the smirk in Tobirama's voice. She would think that the terrible duo was a bad influence on him, but she knows Tobirama too well. He's always had a mischievous mind. He's just rarely had a chance to show it between being a perfect little soldier, Hashirama's support and the genius of the clan.
Omake:
Touka, Tobirama, Kako and Izuna stay sitting at the table long after breakfast is over and Madara leaves to do his duty.
“So… Dramatic friendship reveal?” Inquires Touka with a smirk.
Grinning, Kako replies, “I mean… We’re making history. Everyone needs to see it.”
“If we’re talking about dramatic reveals, it’s about time for one, don’t you think… Shikako ?” Izuna’s grin is vicious, and the punctuation of the name is especially pointed.
Tobirama tilts his head, “‘Shi’ as in the Clan Head or Heir of the Nara?”
“Shi-Kako… Shi-kabane. So that’s what she meant by naming tradition…” Touka mumbles under her breath. Then another thought occurs to her, “All three of you are Clan Heirs!”
Shikako shrugs. “Only until my brother has a kid of his own. Being a Clan Head would be too troublesome.”
Izuna snickers and raises an eyebrow suggestively. “But revolutionising the shinobi system isn’t?”
“It’ll be less troublesome to have you and Tobi nearby when I have a cool idea. Besides, it’ll give us a chance to hunt down Sensei and Naruto. It’s been waaaay too long since we saw them,” Shikako shrugs nonchalantly. It actually makes sense in a strange sort of way that seems to be Shikako Nara’s defining trait.