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Through Prompts We Gain... Power?
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Published:
2023-05-17
Words:
536
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
25
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1
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147

Working With That Guy You Hate...

Summary:

That moment you're stuck waiting for public transport with your colleague and feel obliged to make small-talk, but with two Sith Lords.

Notes:

Prompt:
Fluffy interactions between this Sith duo?

Work Text:

It was occasionally necessary for Darth Sidious and Darth Tyranus to meet in person to discuss truly sensitive arrangements for the upcoming war. Today—without their assorted hanger-ons, and possessing a common purpose—they had finally managed to address everything of note about the upcoming war effort.

There was therefore an awkward silence on the landing pad, as they were stood waiting for their shuttles to descend. The normal small talk wouldn't quite do, but they could hardly say nothing.

That would be impolite.

"My master told me a joke once," Sidious said. "Would... would you like to hear it?"

Tyranus perked up. "Oh? Please, tell."

"I'm not... Well, it goes something like this. Several students are on a freighter together, and land on a planet."

"Legally?"

Sidious glared at Tyranus. "Does it matter?"

"I suppose not. Please, continue."

"I will. Well, the officer in charge says there are some local regulations to follow, and he needs to ask them some simple questions to see that they are all mentally there.

"And he says, 'What's two plus two?'

"So, the engineer says 'well it's three point seven five, but given the situation we can round it to five.'

"Then the mathematician works on it for a while in the shuttle, and comes back saying 'I don't know what the answer is, but I know that one exists.'

"And the astrophysicist says 'rounding to the nearest million, the answer would be zero.'

"And then the finance student asks, 'what do you want the answer to be?' "

Sidious stopped talking and flashed Tyranus an awkward smile.

Finally, Tyranus asks uneasily. "Is that the joke?"

Both men were aware of the way the Dark Side was nudging at them impatiently, stirred by the negative emotions they were feeling yet not sated. Two pairs of yellow eyes desperately scanned the sky for signs of their descending shuttles, and sweet escape.

"I, uh, think so? He normally started laughing around that point?"

"But... the answer is clearly four," Tyranus said.

"Yes." The awkwardness is redoubled. "Yes it is. That's the joke. Apparently."

There was a longer silence, and the Dark Side whined unhappily about it in their ears.

"I think..." Tyranus said.

"Yes?"

"That I am actually glad that you killed your master, and not for the obvious reasons. If he had a sense of humour like that, then it was a mercy for everyone that had to interact with him."

It was a strange to hear such words from a former Jedi, but Sidious found the sentiment to be surprisingly heartening.

"Thank you." On this occasion, Sidious decided, the compliment required reciprocation. "Despite its acerbity," he allowed, "your own wit is not unpleasant in comparison to his."

The Dark Side hissed its annoyance at the—comparatively speaking—cloying sentimentality shared between its two champions, and metaphorically settled down on its haunches to glare at them both.

Sidious stood there daring Tyranus to call him out.

Sidious finally felt a Genosian shuttle cutting through the atmosphere, heading towards the other end of the platform.

Thank the Force.

"We will never speak of this again," Sidious demanded as Tyranus prepared to move away.

"Agreed, master."

Neither Sith Lord bothered to say goodbye.