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“Exactly whose idea was it for me to wear a dress again?” Scylla complained.
Raelle kept a straight face, as she had through the five or more times she’d heard this complaint since leaving their hotel. “Yours.”
“And you didn’t talk me out of it, why?” Scylla looked enviously down at Raelle’s fitted, low cut tux. “You were smart. You’re always smart.”
Raelle smiled patiently. “Well, I’m wearing much higher heels than you. Let’s see who is smart by the time we get to the end of the photo line.”
“God, don’t remind me.” Scylla took out a handkerchief from her clutch and dabbed cautiously at the beads of sweat forming at her hairline. “OK, tell me again what’s going to happen? I’m so scared I can’t think.”
“We’ve been over it four times this morning.” Raelle peered out through the tinted windows. Their car was moving at a glacial pace now that they’d joined the entry queue for the theater.
Scylla’s voice cracked. “Five is my lucky number.”
“Scyl, seriously, relax.” Raelle took her hand, graciously deciding not to point out that the sweat on her forehead was nothing compared to the sweatiness of her palms. “You’ve done scarier events than this.”
“Yes, but then the camera was always pointed at you. There’s a reason I’m the writer in the family, Raelle.”
“True,” Raelle acknowledged. “And we did sneak you in through the back at the WGAs.”
“In my defence, I’d had the flu for a week, I looked like a wreck. Besides, there were hardly any cameras at the WGAs, and the ones that were spent the night following Cate Blanchett around.”
“Well, she looked hot.” Raelle said. She squeezed Scylla’s hand again to try and comfort her. “Scyl…”
“Just tell me again, please.”
The car inched forward again.
“OK, hang on.” Raelle fished her phone out of her clutch and hit speed dial. She held the phone to her ear. “Tal? It’s me. You told me to call if I had a problem?”
Scylla looked indignant, but Raelle ignored her. She heard Tally’s labored sigh come down the line. “Is she freaking out again?”
“Yep.”
“OK. I hope you can hear Sarah’s eyes rolling from here.”
“Sure can.”
Tally’s voice oozed with professional patience. “Put her on.”
Raelle put the phone on speaker and wordlessly held it out to Scylla. Scylla plucked it dutifully from her fingers. “Yes?”
Tally’s voice filled the back seat of the car. “OK. In about ten minutes or whenever this nightmare of a car queue dumps us at the front entrance, the first face you’re going to see when you set foot out of the car is Thelma. Now, who is Thelma?”
Scylla gritted her teeth. “Century’s PR rep.”
“That’s right,” Tally said, going for what she hoped was a soothing tone. “Now, what do we call Thelma everywhere other than to her face?”
“Bearkiller.”
“And why is that?” Raelle could hear the smile in Tally’s voice.
Scylla breathed out, impatiently. “Because she protects us like a wild bear is coming after us.”
“Exactly, and trust me, she’s the person you want on your side even if the freaking Cocaine Bear comes after you. Nobody is going to mess with any of you while she’s right beside you. Sticking with the wildlife theme, she’s also going to assume you’re a deer in headlights and will take your handbag off you so it’s not wrecking your photos, and direct you exactly where to stand. Just smile while the cameras go off.”
“What if I need to pee?”
“You’re going to hold it until you get inside, like a big girl,” Tally laughed. “And try not to look like you need to go in the pictures. Now, when you’re done, which will probably take about thirty minutes, you’re not going to enter the building until Raelle catches up to you. If you’re done with the press line before her, and you will be because quite frankly you’re a writer and she’s… well, not… either stay near the main doors or go and chat to some of the fangirls who are going to be screaming your name from the bleachers opposite the entrance.”
Scylla looked confused. “Why would anybody be screaming for me?”
“Do you even own a mirror?”
“Why didn’t anybody tell me about that this morning?” Scylla looked up at Raelle, irritated.
Raelle held up her hands and did her best to look innocent.
Tally continued. “Because I’m the only one who’ll tell you the truth. You’re sexy, and you have nerdy writer fans. Live with it. Just stay near the door until Thelma has corralled us all and then we’ll all move inside together. She’ll know where our table is already, direct us there, and then you just start drinking like a fish like everyone else until your turn comes. I think you can take it from there.”
Raelle suppressed a chuckle. “Thanks, Tal.”
“All right? Listen, Scyl? Take the phone off speaker, Sarah wants to talk to you.”
Scylla frowned and hit the speaker button. She held the phone to her ear. “Yeah?”
“Scylla.”
“What’s up?”
“Stop being such a child and pull yourself together.” Alder demanded, sternly. “The cameras are going to be more on Raelle and not so much on you quite frankly, and she might be the nominee and more used to this, but she’s also walking her first big red carpet right behind Abigail fucking Bellweather, which is going to be intimidating, so get a grip and realize that your wife is putting on a brave face because you’re falling apart.”
Scylla swallowed hard. She snuck a look over at Raelle’s curious face and her heart melted. There it was. Now that she knew what to look for, she realized she’d completely missed the stressed look in Raelle’s eyes behind all the make-up and the bravado. “I understand.”
“Good.” Alder softened a little. “You’ll be fine. We’ll be right behind you.”
“I know,” Scylla said, calmly. “Sarah? Thanks.”
“No problem. See you in a few.” Alder hung up the phone.
Scylla stared for a second at the dead phone before she handed it back to Raelle. She looked up, contrite. “I’m sorry.”
Raelle smiled and patted her leg. “Scyl, it’s OK.”
“No, not for all that. For not realizing how hard this is for you.” Scylla shifted closer and wrapped her arms around Raelle’s shoulders. “You’ve been putting on a brave face.”
“Don’t,” Raelle warned. She held up her hand between them.
“Don’t what?”
“I mean it, don’t. You’ll make me cry and my makeup will be a mess and then I’ll feel even more nervous than I do already.” She fought back the prickles at the edges of her eyes. “At least my nerves only have to hold until we get to the front door.”
“What are you talking about? Your category isn’t until number four!”
“Scylla, my love, please don’t think I have any pretensions about winning. Being nominated was huge enough for me, and I was a shock outsider. The odds are so high against me winning that if I did win by some miracle the three people nationwide betting on me would become millionaires. You on the other hand…” Pride took over her face. “I can’t wait to see if those statues are as big in real life as they are on TV. We’re going to need a bigger apartment.”
Scylla scoffed at her, nervous again. “I didn’t win the WGA.”
“They’re almost never the same, you know that,” Raelle reasoned. There was a devilish twinkle in her eye. “Wasn’t there a rumor that Kate Winslet kept her Oscar in the bathroom? Maybe we should consider that.”
Scylla poked her in the ribs and they both laughed.
“Thank you,” Scylla said, as she got her giggles under control.
“For what?”
“Only you could get me to laugh under these circumstances,” Scylla admitted.
“That’s a shame,” Raelle said, smoothing down some of Scylla’s hair that hung loose to her shoulders. “You’re so beautiful when you laugh.”
Scylla blushed. She was shocked that Raelle could still do that to her after all this time. She became distracted by Raelle’s lips. “Can we risk it?”
“Any time I can’t kiss my wife is a time I’m not interested in living in.” Raelle leaned in and they touched lips softly. Scylla resisted pulling her closer for a deeper kiss.
All bets are off later, she thought, taking in Raelle for the hundredth time that evening as she drew back. She was breathtaking. It was enough to momentarily distract her from the nerves clawing at her stomach.
The glass barrier between the driver and the back seat slid down slowly. “Excuse me ladies, but we are only three cars back from the drop off point. Five-minute warning!”
“Thanks Dave.” Raelle pulled a face. “Uggh. Showtime.” She pulled a compact from her purse and checked her face critically, applying a small touch up of gloss to her upper lip. She sent up a silent apology to the make-up team back at the hotel. “OK, Abigail is in the car right in front of us, and Tally and Alder are right behind.”
“How did Adil manage to get out of this?” Scylla asked.
“Because every now and then Abigail tries to be nice. Besides, she’s more comfortable going stag, this way she can flirt harmlessly who whoever she needs to and she doesn’t have to worry about him. You ready?” Raelle handed the small mirror to Scylla, who did the same last second check. “God this feels girly.”
“That’s because it is.” Scylla snapped the compact shut and handed it back, satisfied. “I’m holding your hand out there until Thelma tears me away.”
“I’d expect nothing less,” Raelle said.
Suddenly, Scylla found herself getting nervous about that. What the hell is wrong with me? It wasn’t as if they were closeted. Their relationship had been open season and magazine fodder for more than two years. Somehow this felt wildly different. “You’re fearless, you know that?”
Raelle knew exactly what Scylla was referring to. “I’m in love, there’s no point in me trying to hide it.”
They were silent then as the car crept into position. “Thirty seconds until lift off,” Dave called back.
“I love you, Raelle.”
Raelle turned back, and she smiled. “I love you too. Now remember, be looking the other way when the door opens.”
“Why?”
“Just trust me.”
She was too late. The door opened quickly from the outside and the spotlights and camera flashes burst into their private world. Scylla’s eyes were dazzled, and she blinked hard as spots filled her vision. “Oh crap.”
“Told you.” Raelle stretched one leg slowly out of the car, then brought the other to it, elegantly lifting herself out. She leaned back inside. “Here, take my hand.”
Scylla took it gratefully as she struggled to exit the car in her long dress.
“Take your time, there’s no rush,” Raelle whispered.
When they were both standing outside and readjusting their clothes, Scylla took a second to look around and get her bearings. She spotted Abigail up ahead, dressed head to toe in a sparkling silver gown. She was already smiling broadly for the bevy of cameras at the first checkpoint. Other actresses milled around, meandering forward through the crowd. Metallics seemed to be in season, she thought. Her own royal blue dress shone under the lights.
There was no rushing through these crowds. The pace was firmly set by the red-carpet throng of guests, PR reps and roving entertainment reporters. Raelle tightened her grip on Scylla’s hand. “OK, here comes Thelma.”
“Raelle, Scylla! You look gorgeous. Let’s get you prepped.” She reached out her hands for their bags and phones. “Remember, if you make it to the entrance doors ahead of the others, wait there.” She glared at Scylla until she got the nod of understanding she was looking for. “Smile and remember to have fun!”
Scylla mourned the loss of Raelle’s hand as it slipped out of hers, the actress carried away on a PR wave as Thelma worked to catch Raelle up with Abigail and get the actresses working the photographers together. Scylla moved behind them, deliberately hanging back a little as the cameras flashed insistently.
What she hadn’t expected was the noise. At this end of the red carpet each photographer shouted all their names rapid-fire over and over, hoping for the best shot where the actor was looking straight down their lens as they snapped.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned into Tally’s smiling face. She was a vision in her green, floor-length gown. She saw the stress in Scylla’s face and sympathized. “Hang in there, Scyl.”
“Tally,” she said gratefully holding her hands out in greeting, and then spotted Alder five steps behind. Sarah looked magnificent in red. “I don’t know how, but that dress looks even better out here than it did at the hotel.”
“Don’t get me started. If I look too long at her it’s a bit overwhelming,” Tally replied.
“I know the feeling,” Scylla said. She turned, and her eyes caught Raelle’s. Raelle winked at her flirtatiously, and Scylla felt goosebumps rise on her arms. “How did we get this lucky, Tal?”
Tally just grinned and hugged her briefly.
The marshals in the entrance scurried about as the next wave of cars pulled up. Scylla took the hint and began to walk ahead. Tally stepped back into Sarah’s arms.
“Ms Ramshorn! Scylla! Over here! This way!” The photographers began yelling her name. She hit one of the marks and stood still, waiting for the barrage of flashes to abate. Thelma gave her an approving stare, seemed to wait for a predetermined time, and then indicated Scylla forward. She broke her pose and moved ahead.
The next station was just as crazy. She noticed she’d almost caught Raelle and Abigail, who were posing up ahead, being shuffled along under Thelma’s professional gaze.
Unexpectedly, and group of photographers started yelling their names together. “Scylla! Raelle! Can we get a shot of you both?”
Raelle threw them a dazzling grin and stepped forward to chat to one of them. Scylla couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Raelle waved her over.
“Queer press!” Raelle whispered to her as she drew close enough, and Scylla chuckled.
“Of course they are.”
They posed together, hands around each other’s waists, sometimes looking forward, sometimes smiling at each other.
Raelle leaned over to the photographer at the front. “Dean! I want a copy of that when you have it.”
The photographer nodded enthusiastically. “You got it, Rae.”
Raelle stepped back and took Scylla’s hand again. “Stay with me,” she said, smiling.
The photographers moved on to the celebrities coming up behind them as they shifted away.
Abigail walked towards them, radiant. “How are my two favorite shitbirds this evening?”
Flashes went off as she and Scylla hugged a greeting. Abigail had gotten ready with her own team in her own room at the hotel, and they’d only had a chance for a brief greeting in the lobby before taking off.
Photographers screamed out Ms Bellweather over and over. Abigail ignored them for a moment. “Shall we give them a group shot?” She waved frantically over at Alder, who casually walked up, Tally trailing close behind. “We need the Century crew shot! Thelma! Where’s M?”
“I think they’re up ahead. Let me check.” She scooted off amongst the crowd, her black hair flying behind her in her haste. The photographers took single shots of others coming through while they waited, and Scylla steeled herself as an entertainment reporter corralled her towards the microphone.
“Scylla!”
“Hi Trudy,” Scylla said warmly as she stood on her mark and squared up to the camera. Her media training kicked in; she took a deep breath.
“You’re nominated for two amazing productions this evening, of course the Finding Home series, and I see you here with the cast of Century.”
“I’m incredibly lucky to be involved in both,” Scylla said, pushing her enthusiasm way over the top for the cameras. “It’s been such a great year personally and professionally. It’s not often you get to do both the blockbuster material and more personal stories, so that’s been a total gift.” She sensed a presence behind her and turned into Raelle’s proud eyes. The reporter took advantage of Raelle’s arrival and swung the mic in her direction.
“Raelle, how was it working together with Scylla on Century this season?”
“Obviously it’s fantastic and humbling to share that kind of experience together.” Raelle flashed Scylla a playful look designed deliberately for the cameras to pick up. “But look, being married to a writer is no picnic. Get one word wrong and it’s all you hear all night long…”
Scylla crooked a thumb at her wife. “Ignore her. She never gets the words wrong.”
The reporter laughed. “You’ve both been role models for the LGBT+ community for so long now. Is there anything you’d like to say to fans of the show who are deeply invested in not only your character, Raelle, but in both your careers?”
Raelle looked at Scylla, whose look said go ahead. She looked straight down the camera. “We couldn’t do what we do without the incredible fans of Century. They’ve supported us so loudly and strongly since day one. I’m grateful I get to do what I do every day, and I show up for this character 100% because she’s a gift to me, not just because of who she is and what she represents, but because the words I get to say are things that Scylla and the other talented writers have created. Whatever positive impact she’s having is largely due to their incredible talent.”
“Well, Scylla you’re nominated tonight for a Mae-centric episode that has been lauded for its queer representation – is it true that the Mae Winter character was a late addition to the series, and it wasn’t always the plan to have her be so openly gay?”
Scylla ignored the stab of old regret that shot through her stomach. She felt Raelle’s palm smoothing her lower back and willed herself back to calm. “She was a late addition, but a necessary one. You know these things are always being changed up until the last moment when pilots go to production, but we knew she was queer from day one and we got nothing but full support from the network to build her character however we saw fit.”
There, that should make everyone happy with me, she thought, cringing inwardly.
“Raelle, are you anything like Mae Winter?”
Raelle laughed, and Scylla could tell the laugh was real. “After three years playing her, Mae is a real combination of both of us. I mean, no, honestly, we’re not at all alike. I wish I had her brashness and confidence, but I get to bring parts of me to her all the time, and parts of her have become part of me, so it’s been a real treat having so many seasons to flesh this character out, for both of us and for the fans.”
“That’s so great. Scylla –” The reporter swung back to her. “Finding Home is such a personal story. What does this nomination, and potential win, mean to you in light of that?”
“Well, from the beginning when Raelle actually helped bring the play to life on stage,” Scylla flashed Raelle a loving look. “I realised that it started out as personal, but it quickly evolved and now it’s everything that the cast and crew of both the stage and television productions have brought to it. It became this living, breathing thing that ceased being mine so long ago, which is what happens to all stories. Still, for my first nomination to be for something this close to my heart is really special.”
“Thanks Raelle and Scylla, good luck tonight!”
“Thanks Trudy.” They flashed broad smiles towards the camera.
The cameraman signalled the recording had stopped, and Scylla stepped back, relieved. “You got it?” She shot over at the reporter.
“Absolutely! Thanks.”
Raelle and Scylla nodded back and moved on together, hands clasped. Scylla was slowly becoming used to the noise and lights. She watched as Thelma weaved her way back through the mosh pit of celebrities with M in tow. They laughed happily when they saw the rest of the assembled group, and there were excited hugs all round. Posing as a group began, and Tally stepped off to the side.
After the pictures were done, Scylla moved ahead as Raelle and Abigail were captured by another TV crew. The area grew quieter as they moved from the still photographers through to the TV crews, and interviews were taking place on all sides of the bright red carpet.
She threw some fluffy, innocuous quotes to a couple more entertainment programs before she became dimly aware of more noise coming in from the left behind the television cameras. She looked behind her and caught Tally’s smug look.
Tally walked up and threw a casual arm around her shoulders. “I told you.”
Scylla shook her head in awe. Raelle’s devoted fan throng she was well used to, but having so many people she didn’t know yelling her name was borderline surreal. The bleachers were going mad with fans waving items to be signed. As she approached, a celebrity wrangler pushed a gold sharpie into her hand, and she started speaking to the fans reaching with items over the fence.
“Why on Earth are you here for me?” She laughed as yet another fan shoved a magazine at her open to her profile for her to sign. The spread was one of her favorites, something she’d done for an industry mag where they’d encouraged her to be more or less herself, rather than glammed up as she had to be for any photo shoots for Century.
She got lost in the thrall of the fans and found herself chatting with some who had wriggled up against the gate towards her. It was almost a surprise as she felt a tap on her shoulder and looked around into Thelma’s thrilled face. “Now you’re getting it, Ramshorn!”
Scylla shrugged happily. “This bit’s fun.”
“You ready to head inside?” She indicated towards Raelle and the others lingering at the doorway to the auditorium.
Scylla nodded, turned back to the fans and waved goodbye. “Wish me luck!” She called out, which triggered another wave of yelling. Her face split into a wild grin. She turned back to Tally. “That’s intense.”
Tally just nodded and led the way over to the rest of the group. Raelle held out her arms and Scylla was grateful to be swallowed into a quick, tight hug.
“Survived?” Raelle breathed into her ear.
“So far,” she replied. “You?”
“I’m ready for a bottle or two of champagne,” Raelle replied.
“Let’s go,” Scylla agreed, and led her by the hand through the huge glass doors. As they wove their way in amongst the celebrities, Scylla had to physically stop herself from looking left and right as familiar faces flew past.
She watched curiously as production staff crawled all over the two Emmy stages at the front of the room and peered out into the night sky as stars twinkled above the gorgeous Los Angeles skyline. New York was her home and she loved it, but she could for damn sure appreciate the sparkle of LA while she was here.
Their table was surprisingly close to the stage – a lot closer than she’d actually expected – buried halfway back in the crowded room. Her heart swelled with bottled up nerves and anxiety once more. A seat here meant someone had a chance of winning.
Thelma handed her back her handbag as she took her seat and Raelle settled in beside her. As the only nominee besides Alder herself from Finding Home, she had already told the organizers in advance to seat her with Raelle and the rest of the Century crew. She shook hands and traded thankyous with people, both strangers and friends, as they passed by. The whole room felt like a blur.
It suddenly occurred to her that with her awards in the last third of the program that she had a long, difficult wait head of her.
###
Raelle could feel her face was flush with excitement. After the nervous breakdown in the car, she was surprised that Scylla now looked so calm and collected; her eyes roamed the room with almost what Raelle would call professional curiosity. She looked a bit harder until she found it – that ever so slight tension in Scylla’s jawline, a clenching of the muscles her neck that she could never quite hide when she was stressed.
Raelle leaned over to whisper in her ear. “I was about to ask you how you could be so calm.”
Scylla grimaced a little. “You know me better than that.”
“I do.” Raelle laid a small kiss in her cheek and leaned back to accept a tall glass of champagne from Sarah Alder, who had commandeered the bottle from an alarmed waiter and insisted on doing the honors for the table herself. Tally looked on amused, and not at all surprised.
Amidst the chaos of the room, their table grew quiet. Alder raised a glass solemnly. “Win or lose, this is the finest bunch of people I could ever imagine sitting here with. Now–”, She threw back her head and drank deeply from her glass, before raising it in the air. “–let’s get hammered.”
“Hallelujah!” M whooped, downing a large swallow. “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we lie in bed totally hungover.”
Raelle laughed, took a swig from her glass, stood, and tapped Tally on the shoulder. “I need you.”
“Bathroom trip?” Tally asked, knowingly.
“Don’t make me go alone,” Raelle begged.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Tally placed her glass down determinedly and rose to follow. “Where you go, I go.”
They giggled together as they made their way through the tables to the nearest bathrooms at the back of the room.
“Why do I feel sloshed already?” Raelle wondered aloud. She forced herself to concentrate as she walked in the heels that were far higher than she usually wore.
“You’re punch drunk,” Tally declared. “Except with excitement rather than repeated blows to the head.”
“You have one job here, Tal. Don’t let me fall over,” Raelle commanded.
“Tally Craven reporting for duty, ma’am.” Tally steered Raelle confidently through the crowd by her elbows.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’ve done this before?”
“Probably because I have.” Tally guided Raelle skilfully past a waiter laden with a full drinks tray. “Looking after you actor types is a full-time job.”
“Well, you do it very well.”
They nipped past the last of the crowd and made it unscathed into the bathroom. Raelle closed the door of the stall quickly behind her, pulled the seat down, sat down fully clothed, and breathed.
She didn’t actually need to go to the bathroom, she just desperately needed a break before the real show began and all the spotlights were suddenly on her. She heard Tally enter the next stall and grinned to herself. Tally was an awards show pro. If she was already here, she was for damn sure going to pre-emptively pee, even if she didn’t need to.
She heard the outside door swing open, and a voice she couldn’t quite place but that sounded familiar started speaking loudly. Whoever owned it stopped by the mirror, presumably to freshen her make-up. Raelle watched two sets of feet stop by the sinks underneath the door.
She hid uncomfortably, determined not to come out until the women had left. She didn’t feel like doing the polite chit-chat by the bathroom sink routine.
“Did you see them swanning around outside, like everyone isn’t thinking the same fucking thing,” one of the women began. Raelle snorted softly. Bitching in the bathroom was an Olympic sport at these kinds of events, that much she was already painfully aware of.
She continued. “So, you’re gay. Big fucking deal. Every woman here has slept with another woman at least once in her life, it’s no big thing, get over yourself.”
Raelle’s ears pricked. Surely not… I have no idea who this even is.
A second aggrieved voice added herself to the diatribe. “Yeah, and half of those were with Scylla Ramshorn.”
Raelle felt her stomach contract angrily. She was suddenly torn between charging out of the stall in a fit of rage, or hiding until the embarrassment was over. She felt suddenly hot all over, her cheeks flushed.
She heard Tally finishing up quickly in the next stall, ready to make a dramatic exit in hers and Scylla’s defence. Suddenly a cold, amused voice rang out, echoing against the bathroom tiles.
“I should have known it was you, Beth. Back off. She’s one of mine.”
The all-too-familiar voice cut to Raelle’s heart and made it swell so much it hurt. Her face broke into a grin.
The presence of backup made her mind up for her. She ripped back the lock of the stall and stepped out, her face a picture of smugness. “Well, they got one night, maybe, but if they did, they must have sucked pretty bad, so I guess I win.”
She heard Tally emerge from the stall behind her and peered over her shoulder to find her scowling, arms crossed, ready to dive into the fight.
“Got anything else to say?” Abigail stared at the at the women up and down, pitifully. “Or have you proven how trash you are enough already?”
Facing down a posse, the first woman sneered back in defiance. “Oh, back off Bellweather. Everyone knows you’re all bark and no bite.”
“Better than being all bitch and no brain,” Abigail replied hotly. Raelle snorted with suppressed laughter, tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.
The second women looked past Raelle to Tally, her face bleeding of its color. “Look, we didn’t mean anything by it. Come on,” she pulled at the arm of her friend. “Beth, let’s go.”
The second woman fled quickly, the first stared down Abigail as she sauntered out.
“What the fuck was that?” Raelle asked Tally.
“She’s auditioning for one of Sarah’s new shows right now,” Tally snickered, amused. “Third round. I think she realized that she just sank her chances.”
Raelle frowned and shook her head. “Tally, no, don’t black ball her with Alder. She wasn’t that bad.”
“Oh, I won’t black ball her,” Tally said, sporting a contemptuous look. “I’ll just make her squirm a little bit. OK, a lot.”
Abigail stepped forward, scowling. “What is it with you and bathrooms, shitbird? Do we need to send you in with an armed guard every time you need to pee?”
Raelle smiled gratefully. “Thanks for having my back, Abs. Again.”
Abigail scoffed and started fixing her look in the mirror. “Did you doubt it?”
“Not for a second,” Raelle replied.
“Good,” Abigail said. “Now, let’s get you back to your seat before they give out your award without you.”
Raelle sighed. “Abigail, I’m going to lose.”
“Yeah probably,” Abigail teased. “But you’ll look hot while doing it, and that’s all that matters.”
She swung an amiable arm around Raelle and Tally looped an arm through hers as they led her back out into the stifling heat of the main room.
###
Scylla held on to Raelle’s hand under the table for dear life.
Raelle was smiling so hard her face looked like it would crack apart. The sheer surrealness of hearing her name announced from the Emmy stage mixed with the two glasses of champagne she’d already drunk to the point where she felt like she was floating on the ceiling and might never come down again.
“And the winner of Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama is…”
Applause burst out across the room, and there were excited shrieks from a table off to their right. She let out a hard breath but kept smiling when the name was announced, and it wasn’t hers. Her smile stayed on until the curious eyes of the room and the camera focused in on her face moved away. Then she sat back, relieved it was over.
Abigail raised an eyebrow. “Huh. Well, if it wasn’t spaceships, I’m kind of glad it was zombie hunters.”
“OK, now I can get drunk,” Raelle declared.
“Here’s to you shitbird,” Abigail raised her glass. “The best, win or no win.”
“Eloquent as always, Abigail.” Alder clapped her on the shoulder. “But agreed. To Raelle Collar!” They cheered loudly and drank, drawing amused glances from the nearby tables. Raelle took a sip, sat back and listened to the winner’s speech in a daze. She was certain that in the years to come if someone asked her who won that night, she wouldn’t have a hope of remembering.
“Ad break! Finally.” Abigail got up to stretch her legs.
“Are you OK?” Scylla asked, her voice low in Raelle’s ear.
“I really am,” Raelle said, and hugged her. “This was a dream. All of it. It’s so weird.”
“I know.”
“Now I get to focus on you, and you have no idea how happy that makes me.”
A shiver rolled down Scylla’s spine. “I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t drink, and if I walk around aimlessly people will know I’m shitting myself.”
“Here’s an idea. Sit and laugh. Enjoy their company.” Raelle pointed around the table. “We’re all here for you.”
“So, sitting here and having a minor meltdown isn’t an option?”
“An option? Sure. But a good option?” Raelle’s forehead crinkled in doubt.
Scylla touched her cheek with her fingertip. “You’re so cute when you’re being reasonable.”
They settled back in and listened attentively as the next category was announced. Even drunk and restless, all of Hollywood had enough respect to sit down and shut up when someone was actually getting an award. Either that or they didn’t want to look like an ass on national TV and never be invited to the awards again. It was a weird phenomenon that Scylla had never personally witnessed to this extent before. It both amused her and made her proud of their weird little community at the same time.
The night wore on. The room got progressively drunker, the jokes got incrementally bawdier, and the speeches seemed to roll on forever. Scylla cheered on people who she genuinely respected, and commiserated with friends who she suspected should have won but didn’t have the clout in Hollywood yet to pull it off.
Was she in that category? It made her wonder. She wouldn’t be at all surprised if she was, but being on the bill with Sarah Alder and the massive amount of respect that carried with it in the industry certainly gave her an edge she wouldn’t have had on her own. The script for Finding Home was something she was genuinely proud of. The win meant more to her than she wanted to admit.
Alder sat up, looking as excited as Scylla thought it was possible for her to look. In her ruminations Scylla had lost track of where in the program they were up to. Raelle looked over, and her leg started bouncing up and down against hers under the table.
“I think you’re more nervous than I am,” Scylla drawled.
Raelle rolled her eyes. “I think you’ve rubbed every last nerve raw, and now you’re just numb. Time to get in the game.”
“And the nominees for Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series are…”
She heard them go down the list, smiled a little when they read out her name, and realized her hands were shaking. She forced herself to sit back and relax. This was just the warm-up nomination, she told herself. it wasn’t the award she had her hopes up about. This wasn’t the one she thought she could win.
“Century. ‘Illusions and Deceptions’, Teleplay by Scylla Ramshorn.”
M let out a raucous yell as Scylla’s name was listed.
Patronizing smiles and smatterings of applause greeted her from all around. Scylla snorted to herself and crossed her arms. Their little Sci-Fi show didn’t have a hope of pulling off the most prestigious writing award of the night. This wasn’t the one she’d come here for, she told herself again. No, when it was their turn, when Finding Home got announced, that was when people would see what she was made of…
She was so distracted with her own thoughts she didn’t even really hear it when it came. Raelle was on her feet instantly, staring down at Scylla in shock, her face radiant. M was whooping like a cow hand. Tally leaned forward, desperately waving her up.
“What?” Scylla looked around, stunned. The applause was deafening.
Finally, Alder’s voice cut through her shock. “Get your ass up there, Ramshorn!”
She turned to Raelle. “Is this for real?”
“It’s real, Scyl. It’s very real.” Raelle kissed her.
Then Scylla’s feet were carrying her towards the stage. About halfway up she somehow worked through the shock and came a little back to her senses. She smiled and took the stairs slowly, remembering all the horror stories she’d been told about the stairs and not wanting to trip.
Then the trophy was in her hands, and the presenter was smiling and kissing her cheek.
Holy crap that’s heavy, she thought, beaming now. The she felt the crushing weight of the next 60 seconds of her life fall on her all at once. She looked out over the crowd; she hadn’t even considered writing a speech, not for Century.
The crowd settled down expectantly as she made her way to the microphone. It adjusted itself down to her height while she rapidly tried to pull her thoughts together rapidly. Oddly, she found herself thinking back to the one big off-the-cuff speech she’d ever made in her life, and the memory of that beautiful day broke through her brain fog at last. She remembered the lighthouse, their friends, Anacostia’s grinning face, Raelle…
She cleared her throat. “Thank you so much. Thanks to the TV academy, everyone at Plexis pictures, the network, my agent Maxine Richards, because you have to thank your long-suffering agent at least once in your life, right? Max, this is it, all your dreams come true, be grateful.”
There was a tittering of laughter as she breathed deeply and settled in. “I really wasn’t expecting this, but I’m so incredibly thankful. Century was the first great love of my life, and it had the distinction of helping me meet the real love of my life.” She held up the statue in front of her with both hands. “This belongs as much to you, Raelle, as it does to me. Your work with your character inspired this episode, and me, so much. I love you.”
She peered out into the darkness towards their table, saw Raelle’s happy tears and huge smile, and forged on. “Sarah Alder is the ultimate driving force behind Century. You make me fight you, and it makes me better, and none of this would be real without your genius, talent, and support. Thank you, Sarah. I’d like to thank M, Anacostia Quartermaine, Tally Craven, Abigail Bellweather, and the rest of the cast and production crew of Century for taking this vision and running with it so well, and for welcoming me back this season with open arms.”
She blinked back sudden, shocking tears. “Finally–” she looked up, “–I’m not much into God at all but where else do you look but up when you need to talk to someone who is gone? Mom, Dad, I hope you can see this, I love you both. And to Edwin, for filling a gap I didn’t know I had. Thank you.”
Scylla watched as surprise registered on Raelle’s face. The music swelled and she stepped back, disoriented. She clutched the statue tightly in both hands and followed as she was shuffled from the stage and into the controlled chaos beyond.
###
Twenty minutes later, Scylla was escorted back to her seat, still dazed. They rushed her through the room, her butt touching the chair moments before the camera swooped in for the next round of category nominations. Alder took her hand across the table, squeezed it once for luck and let go. Raelle leaned on her shoulder. The glittering statue she’d just won perched imposingly on the empty chair beside her.
“And the nominees for Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series are… Finding Home.”
Scylla’s heart felt like it was exploding in her chest.
The rest of the nominees were listed out one by one, and applause rippled around the room. It felt like forever. There were the announcers, the compulsory witty banter that fell flat, then the envelope.
She held her breath.
“And the winner is…”
Alder looked over at her and shrugged with a smile as the winner was announced and another table rose up in celebration.
“Wow,” Scylla whispered, and sat back hard in her seat, disappointment evident on her face. She clapped hard for the winner and tried as best she could to smile, but it was the hardest thing she thought she’d ever done. She was so certain.
She looked over at Alder. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Alder laughed. Tally had Alder’s hand gripped under the table though, and Scylla could tell she was dealing with her own shock of defeat. They both thought they’d had it. Everyone had told them they had it.
The winner took to the stage and Scylla listened to their speech, laughing and crying in all the appropriate places. She was keenly aware of the camera trained on her and Sarah. The ad break kicked in and the pressure finally let up.
She slumped forward in mental and physical exhaustion. “Oh my God.”
“Scyl, look at me,” Raelle said, softly.
She looked up.
Raelle struggled to find the words. Finally, she just grinned proudly. “You did it.”
Scylla looked around the table, expecting drawn, disappointed looks, and saw only smiles.
###
Scylla leaned back against the leather of the seat as the car wound its way through the back streets towards their hotel. Raelle snoozed gently on her shoulder on one side, and her huge Emmy trophy was crooked in her arm on the other. She kept staring at the name that was newly engraved on it. Scylla Ramshorn.
That’s me, she thought. It’s really me. It’s really mine.
The network afterparty had been long, loud, and filled with people she’d never met before in her life. Her hand smarted a little from all the handshaking. With Raelle in her arms now and finally alone, she felt contented, a little drunk, and more exhausted than she’d ever been in her life.
“Hey…” She poked Raelle gently in the side. “Wake up sleepy head.”
“Are we there yet?” Raelle groaned, still half-asleep.
“Almost, yeah.”
Raelle dropped her head again. “Almost isn’t good enough.”
They rounded the corner and Scylla saw the name of their hotel in bright lights at the end of the block. “I have to remind you, I can only carry you very short distances, and Dave isn’t allowed to carry you upstairs. He could probably pull off a decent fireman’s lift, though. I’m not sure that’d be very dignified.”
Their driver grinned and chuckled, as if he’d very much like the opportunity to try but stayed quiet.
“OK, I’m awake.” Raelle opened her eyes, the threat of having her legs flailing in the air while being carted upstairs enough to make her move.
They pulled gently to a stop in front of the huge hotel doors, the marble lobby gleaming in the distance. Scylla looked up, leaned forward through the opening between front and back, and clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks for everything, Dave.”
“It was a pleasure Ms Ramshorn, and congratulations again. I’ve never driven a winner before.”
A winner, she thought pleasantly. Huh.
Scylla collected her shoes from where she’d pulled them off and discarded them on the seat. She climbed barefoot out of the open door. Raelle pulled herself together long enough to extract herself from the other side.
As the car drove off, Scylla slipped an arm around Raelle’s waist for support, and they moved together towards the lobby doors. They opened and swept them inside to almost complete silence as the busy city disappeared behind the glass doors as they slid shut behind them. It was the quietest the world had been for hours. Scylla revelled in it for a long, relieved moment.
It seemed a long way to the elevator and even longer until they reached their room. As the elevator chugged slowly upwards to the 25th floor, Scylla couldn’t help remembering Raelle’s persistence in the lift to Tally’s apartment the night of Finding Home’s first performance. Her hands and lips had roamed her body like a woman possessed; or as it turned out, a woman scared of losing what she’d just found again.
As Raelle leaned against on her shoulder, she decided that for right now this was exactly the way it should be. She was tired, she was taking her wife up to their bed, where they would spend the night sleeping off the biggest shock of her life.
Maybe tomorrow morning they’d spend some lazy time exploring each other’s bodies in the blissful peace of their room before time ticked on and demanded their presence, and the world once again encroached on their peace.
It didn’t matter. They’d always come back to each other, wherever they were, whatever they did. She knew that better than anything in the world as she fished around in her pocket for the card to their sanctuary.
They stumbled inside, helped take off each other’s clothes, and tumbled into bed. To Scylla it felt like Raelle was asleep in seconds, her body relaxed and tangled up in blankets, her gorgeous blonde curls strewn wildly across the pure white of the pillows.
Scylla stared at the ceiling for a while, feeling happier than she thought she’d ever been. She rolled gently over to face Raelle and smoothed some wayward locks of hair back from her calm, sleeping face. With everything that had happened, she found there was only one thought her tired head could fully grasp and hold onto. She and Raelle together, facing whatever the world threw at them, forever.
The thought rolled around in her mind as the darkness came and she finally drifted off to sleep.