Chapter Text
Izuku knew, rationally, that his death would not solve problems, just give the problems to other people. The issue was that with the exception of his mom, some days that was a fairly attractive idea. Even if people would be able to convince themselves that a quirkless kid either had it coming or was inevitably fated that way, it still would mess up his bullies a bit, in theory. Especially if they had to witness it. Meanwhile, Izuku would no longer be suffering every day, which was a very attractive idea. Sure, he wouldn’t be able to witness the horror on people’s faces, but not a bad trade-off.
Except for his mom. She tried so goddamn hard to do her best by him, even if she didn’t know how. She’d recorded his injuries from bullying and brought it to the school and then the school board, only to be rebuffed, gaslighted, or ignored. Izuku knew she’d looked into lawyers, but none that she could afford would go to bat for a quirkless kid. She was working so hard to care for her son in a society that wasn’t built for him, and to kill himself would spit in the face of all that effort, not to mention break her heart. There were more days than he cared to count where that was the only thing keeping him from a rooftop. There were also days Izuku found himself mad at her for being that obstacle, that last thing keeping him away from escape.
It was annoying, knowing he was so responsible for her happiness. He’d been testing it, too, withdrawing from her this past year, hiding his injuries and troubles, spending more time in his room on his computer. She still worried, but since there wasn’t anything she could do, it didn’t make sense to Izuku to subject her to seeing his burns, scrapes, and bruises. He’d half-hoped that closing himself off from her would make her care less so that at some point he could let go of this last tether, but it seemed like all those adages about a mother’s love were at least a bit true.
Izuku balanced himself on the edge of this knife for a long time, wondering if it was worth trying a fresh start with high school. And then, one day, there was a push.
---
In general, Nedzu had a higher tolerance for younger humans than adults. It was one of the reasons he’d taken on his position at UA; young minds, brains underdeveloped to the point of being less able to understand consequences, should be guided in positive ways to reduce suffering to themselves and others. Still, there were times that he felt that his scope was too limited for the resources he could bring to bear.
Finding new prospective students was a helpful outlet in this regard. Naturally, he could find out which middle schoolers had put UA as their top prospective school and investigate them. Since there were so many of them, it wasn’t often that one stood out.
Midoriya Izuku stood out.
It wasn’t just the transcript full of disciplinary infractions, although that was interesting in itself. It wasn’t just that the boy was quirkless, although Nedzu was intrigued by a child who had doubtless been told he couldn’t be a hero many, many times yet persevered. It was the fact that Nedzu already somewhat knew him by the time he submitted his high school decision.
Nedzu often played strategy games online with a number of different aliases, the aliases being necessary because after a while, most players didn’t want to challenge him any more. Most, but not all. There was a player named HeroStannery_PhD who always was happy to play, and was an enjoyable challenge for Nedzu besides. For the past year they’d played a variety of games together, and gradually Nedzu had built a tentative friendship with him. HeroStannery_PhD won less than half the games they played, but any defeat just led to a renewed determination and a clever adjustment in strategy. Nedzu was impressed by his capacity to analyze scenarios and then learn from his mistakes.
So impressed, in fact, that he’d tracked him down, surprised and pleased to find that the user was only in middle school. The guidance counselor’s report in Midoriya’s school file said the boy had “delusions of being a hero” and Nedzu had decided it would be satisfying to show those quirkist fools wrong. Operation: Friendship to Mentorship was a go.
—-
The thing about balancing on a knife’s edge, Izuku reflected, is that even if you didn’t fall, you were still cutting your feet. Even if today’s incredibly shitty series of events didn’t result in anything drastic, his emotional balancing act was unsustainable, which was probably why he had come back to the rooftop All Might had left him on earlier that day. He didn’t go with the intention to jump. It was just… Izuku wanted to look at his options while the options were available.
What a clinical way to describe contemplating suicide, the sarcastic side of him sniped. As if he could be truly analytical about something so emotionally involved. But maybe someone else could— Izuku pulled out his phone and looked to see if any of his gaming friends were online. There were a few of them that had to have an intelligence quirk, they were such brilliant strategists. Actually, Izuku had a theory that they were all the same person in spite of different typing styles, preferred games, and apparent interests. He’d been trying to subtly trap them into admitting it for over a month now with no success, but there were enough clues to make it feel like a game. One of them was online currently, so Izuku sent the most innocuous message he could think of.
---
HeroStannery_PhD: do you believe in reincarnation?
Nedzu’s nose twitched at the notification. It was an odd question, at least to this account; usually they talked about game strategy/mechanics and not much else.
[REDACTED]: I think I’m more interested in how the belief affects people than the belief itself. What about you?
HeroStannery_PhD: I think it’s an idea that can be comforting at any rate. Like, even if life doesn’t go the way you want, there’s a chance it will next time, you know?
Nedzu was concerned. This topic was out of character, and usually the boy was having dinner at this time of night. With one paw he set up a location trace, and with the other he formulated a response.
[REDACTED]: I suppose, although personally I would find it unsatisfying not to figure out a way to manipulate the circumstances to my advantage. I started life on hard mode so to speak, and making my way to my present position has been most gratifying.
HeroStannery_PhD: Yeah, I’m on hard mode too, and let’s just say that the other players indulge in trash talk a bit. Even my biggest hero, today. I’m starting to wonder if they’re right. Why keep trying to pretend I’m fine?
The phone trace completed: Midoriya was downtown, in an area with a lot of high-rises. Nedzu’s suspicions crystallized, and he regretted postponing a more in-depth investigation on Midoriya’s life. No time now— Aizawa’s patrol wasn’t too far away, and he sent the location and a short explanation to the hero’s phone. Now to keep Midoriya talking, which thankfully had never been too hard before.
[REDACTED]: You met your hero today? How did that happen?
HeroStannery_PhD: I got attacked by a villain, and he saved me. But then I asked if he thought I could be a hero and… he said no.
[REDACTED]: That seems like a cruel thing to say!
HeroStannery_PhD: In his defense, I’m quirkless. There’s never been a quirkless hero before, not that I know of. I doubt any hero school would accept me.
Midoriya didn’t know how wrong he was about the school, but now was hardly the time to surprise the child with Nedzu’s real identity. It was also not the time to try and confirm who the hero was, although he already had some theories.
[REDACTED]: What about heroes with mental quirks, like Eraserhead? They essentially fight quirkless, don’t they?
HeroStannery_PhD: Even Eraserhead didn’t make it into the heroics course at UA, he had to transfer in from General Studies after beating everyone in the Sports Festival.
HeroStannery_PhD: I had to really dig for that info, but I like Eraserhead a lot, he’s a real one, you know? Clearly not in it for fame or money.
Nedzu was absolutely delighted. Eraserhead was not well-known, and it was possible that Midoriya had needed to do illegal hacking in order to find that out. Old school festival videos tended to be archived after a few years, so that villains couldn’t find as much information on current Pro Heroes. Eraserhead was also on his way now, and as long as Nedzu could keep the boy alive long enough, Midoriya would get to meet a different hero, one with experience talking to upset youth.
[REDACTED]: I agree, he’s a great hero! What do you think of his fighting style?
HeroStannery_PhD: Hang on, I actually have my notebook with the analysis with me.
HeroStannery_PhD: [image1936.png]
Eyes wide, Nedzu scanned the page. It was nearly as detailed and comprehensive as could be expected of a professional quirk analyst, and that with very little available public information. Midoriya Izuku had to become his student, imagine what he could do with training?
[REDACTED]: This is amazing, truly! With this kind of analysis ability, I think you could become a hero for sure!
HeroStannery_PhD: Not even my mom thinks I should try, how fucked up is that? Scared of losing me I guess, as if the odds weren’t against me reaching 30 anyways. Some days I really don’t know why I keep trying. It’s not like I enjoy being a punching bag for my classmates, but it’s not like they’ll ever learn better. Not from me.
Nedzu felt slightly cold, a rarity for his furred body. Midoriya’s positivity had fooled him. In all their conversations, he hadn’t shown any indication that he was being bullied into this kind of mindset. Aldera was going to burn if Nedzu had anything to say about it, but how to convince Midoriya that there was another way out? What could he say that wouldn’t ring false like a desperate attempt to save a friend?
[REDACTED]: I have an idea… hear me out. If you want to teach them a lesson, what if you faked your own death?
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
HeroStannery_PhD: What???
[REDACTED]: Are they suicide baiting you already?
HeroStannery_PhD: I mean, yeah. Spider lilies on my desk at least once a week for years, in addition to verbal taunts. The teachers don’t care.
[REDACTED]: What if we made them care by directly showing them the consequences of their actions? Of course, it wouldn’t be as satisfying if you weren’t there to see it.
HeroStannery_PhD: What the fuck? How do you even think that would work? Don’t tell me that faking someone’s death is just another strategy you’re prepared for.
[REDACTED]: Actually, it is! I would just need a few days to prepare. I have a contact that could fake the body, and then we’d just need to figure out how to have you not actually die when you jump. Shouldn’t be too difficult!
HeroStannery_PhD: Firstly, I can’t believe that your reaction to a teen on the edge is to propose something so morbid. You’re way too smart not to figure out how much I’ve been holding back and why I’m being open now.
HeroStannery_PhD: Secondly, what exactly am I supposed to do afterwards? Dress up as a ghost then go back to school?
HeroStannery_PhD: Thirdly, why would you go to all this trouble for a quirkless nobody?
[REDACTED]: Of course I can tell you’re in crisis. That’s why I’m not wasting either of our time with meaningless platitudes like “it gets better” or something like that. You need a real alternative to how things are going right now, so that’s what I’m trying to work with you to find.
[REDACTED]: As for your second point I was thinking of homeschooling, but I think we should shelve that ghost idea for later in case any of your bullies aren’t properly impacted.
[REDACTED]: Thirdly, two reasons: I myself was treated very cruelly when I was young, and getting back at anyone who does this type of thing is very satisfying. Additionally… There are very few people who I consider to be my friend, and you are one of them.
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
HeroStannery_PhD: This plan is unhinged, but I can’t deny it has a certain appeal. I’d want my mom to be in on it though, she doesn’t deserve the pain.
HeroStannery_PhD: If I “died” would I need a new identity? I’m not sure how I wouldn’t end right back where I started. If my ID card says Quirkless, that’s it, open season.
[REDACTED]: If you wanted a new identity, I’m sure I could get you one. I was thinking that we register you with an intelligence quirk at any rate, I have one and if you can keep up with me, it’s certainly believable.
[REDACTED]: I actually work at a high school with very strict anti-bullying policies, so if you were interested in a fresh start there next year, that could definitely be arranged.
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
HeroStannery_PhD is typing…
---
This was definitely too good to be true, Izuku was sure of it. Just who exactly had the resources to pull off such a crazy plan? A government agent with Witness Protection? A member of the underworld, leader of a criminal organization? Probably not a high school teacher of all things. This wasn’t his friend’s style of bluff, but what else could it be?
Izuku sighed and looked over the edge again. Jumping at school at least would be better than here, probably. It might even result in an investigation into Aldera, which could benefit some other bullied kid down the line.
But what about his mom? How would she respond to this deranged scheme? Izuku couldn’t help but wonder. If he was going to present the idea, he’d definitely want to have functional details such as the new identity. They’d probably have to move to a new apartment and if there was any kind of media, would he need a disguise?
HeroStannery_PhD: I have the toe joint so it’d be pretty hard to get me registered with a quirk.
HeroStannery_PhD: Why should I believe that you could help me pull this off? That you would want to?
[REDACTED]: As you’ve suspected, the accounts Ratatouille and Get_Schooled are also mine. That means we’ve spent an average of 15 hours a week together for approximately 8 months now. That makes you one of my closest friends and it would be a shame of the highest order to lose you, especially to quirkist bullies.
[REDACTED]: As for proof that I have numerous resources at my disposal, if you’re willing to wait there just a few more minutes, you’ll see it.
Despite the satisfaction of being right about the other accounts, Izuku’s stomach dropped, and he looked down into the street below. Had his friend called the cops on him? That would be a rude surprise.
HeroStannery_PhD: Did you trace my phone location?
[REDACTED]: Look at it from my point of view. If your friend or your mother was sounding suicidal, wouldn’t you try to find them?
HeroStannery_PhD: I don’t have much experience in the friend department. My childhood friend literally told me to jump off a roof today.
[REDACTED]: Did he? A haunting is definitely in order, then.
Continuing to look over the edge for the flashing lights of the police, Izuku tried to decide if he should leave before they arrived. On one hand, he really wasn’t up for the inevitable berating for taking up their time. On the other hand, his friend could always send them to his house instead and that would definitely be worse.
Izuku was saved from making that decision when white cloth strips encircled his torso and pulled him back from the edge. “Midoriya Izuku?” a low baritone asked, and Izuku turned his head to see just about the last person he expected.
“Holy shit, Eraserhead?!” he yelped, instinctively flailing in his surprise and almost dropping his phone.
“Some would say unholy shit: Eraserhead, but that’s neither here nor there,” the hero said in a falsely bland tone, then raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you know who I am?”
“Yeah, you’re one of my favorite heroes!” Izuku exclaimed. “Isn’t this outside of your normal patrol area though? What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to stop you from jumping,” Eraserhead said gently, and Izuku’s face fell. He’d forgotten, for a moment, why he was there. “I was tipped off by a friend of yours, do you mind if I let him know I found you?”
Izuku flushed in embarrassment. Now he was inconveniencing even more people with his problems; the hero might be missing out on saving other people by taking his detour. “Yeah, sure. He had me pretty convinced to go home tonight anyways, you don’t need to worry.”
Eraserhead kept his grip on Izuku with his capture weapon in one hand while he pulled his phone out with the other. “I’m a hero, it’s literally my job to worry about your well-being.” The phone vibrated and the hero made a face. “He wants to video call, is that OK?”
This was honestly surreal, maybe a dream, but Izuku nodded and mere seconds later his phone was ringing. He accepted the call hesitantly, and a face he recognized appeared. “Thank you for waiting until I could prove myself to you,” said Nedzu, principal of UA High School, an extremely intelligent mammal.
Izuku fell over. This was a perfectly natural response to finding out that he had been friends with Nedzu for 8 months. Eraserhead caught the phone before it hit the ground, and sat down next to Izuku, holding it up. “Nedzu, I don’t think this is the time for theatrics,” the hero said tiredly. “The kid looks like he’s had a long day.”
Izuku barely held back the surely hysterical laughter that wanted to leave his throat at that statement. Between the classroom’s laughter at his ambition, being told to commit suicide by Bakugo, being almost murdered by a villain, the entire encounter with All Might, seeing the slime villain trying to murder Bakugo (and nearly getting murdered himself again), being berated by the heroes for running in, being yelled at by Bakugo again .... Yeah. He was exhausted in every sense of the word.
Nedzu looked through the phone’s screen like he could look into Izuku’s soul. “Theatrics may be what this situation calls for, but that can wait for another time and place,” the principal acknowledged, “in the meantime, do you think it would be helpful for you to talk more, or go home and rest first? I’m sure your mother would let you miss a day of school for an interview with UA.”
Eraserhead’s brows rose ever so slightly, and Izuku shrank a bit, remembering that he was going to have to explain why he was out so late— especially if the hero took him home. “She would,” Izuku hedged. But certainly he wasn’t worth the time and effort! There could be people needing saving right now and Izuku’s dumb emotional crisis was preventing a real hero from being there, not to mention time from the individual responsible for the education of Japan’s greatest future heroes.
“Either way is not a bother,” Eraserhead said, as if he could read Izuku’s mind, “there’s no crime scene or anything I need to rush to get to. Your life is just as important as someone else’s, kid.”
“I'm quirkless, what could I ever contribute to society?” Izuku asked bitterly, rearranging his legs so he was sitting more comfortably. It didn’t look like the hero was planning on unwrapping him soon, but Izuku didn’t have the energy to try and pretend he was fine.
“And would you say that to someone else who was quirkless?” Nedzu asked calmly, cutting off whatever Eraserhead had been about to say.
“Of course not!” Izuku said, startled. “But other quirkless people don’t waste their lives wanting to be a hero with nothing to show for it and no real skills for anything else! All I do is get in people’s way, today proved that.”
Eraserhead took a measured breath. “And how did today prove that? I’d be happy to give you a second opinion.”
“Having to be saved from a villain doesn’t make you an inconvenience, Midoriya,” Nedzu said.
A nice sentiment, but Izuku doubted they’d feel the same if they knew what really happened. As much as he tried to keep them back, tears filled his eyes. “What about needing to be saved a second time? And my stupid desire to be a hero being the reason the villain escaped?”
If Nedzu had eyebrows, he would have raised them. “I get the feeling it’s not that simple, hm?”
“If you think saying that is going to get me to leave you on this rooftop, you don’t know as much about me as you think you do,” Eraserhead added dryly, “and if you want me to yell at you you’re going to have to be specific.”
Izuku didn’t want to be yelled at again, not really, but he felt like he needed to make sure they understood he wasn’t worth all this effort. Starting slowly, keeping All Might’s name out of it, he explained how he’d been attacked and rescued, how clinging to a hero’s leg had caused the bottle of slime villain to be lost, and how that very same villain had taken hold of his classmate later that day. “And none of the heroes were trying to save him, and I couldn’t help running in to try and buy him some time. All Might showing up is probably the only reason both of us are alive, Death Arms and Kamui Woods made sure to tell me that and how stupid I was-”
Eraserhead held up a hand to halt what had become full-fledged word vomit. “This classmate, was he your friend?”
Izuku had to look down. Bakugo’s words from earlier that day still rang in his ears, but it’d be a dick move to badmouth him in the hearing of his dream school’s principal. “He’s gonna be a great hero someday, so he doesn’t really have time to humor me since his quirk came in and mine didn’t,” he said at last, fidgeting with sleeves that had tiny holes from previous explosions. “But when I saw the look in his eyes, my body moved on its own.”
---
Nedzu had already found the news footage of the attack, and watched it as his young friend described the incident. Since “his quirk came in and mine didn’t” implied they’d known each other since childhood, and given what Midoriya had said earlier about his childhood friend... Midoriya didn’t just try to save a classmate, he tried to save his bully. Yes, Nedzu definitely wanted to see what this child could grow into in the Hero course at UA. And given Aizawa’s class just might be the perfect place for Midoriya Izuku, perhaps it was fortuitous that it was this particular hero who had been the one close by tonight.
Eraserhead sighed. “Those heroes who scolded you aren’t completely wrong, but they aren’t right, either. Context is important, kid. How I would scold your average potential hero is different from how I’d scold someone who didn’t think their life was worth anything and wanted to at least try and protect someone on their way out.”
Midoriya still looked fragile, but was hunched in on himself slightly less than he had been during his explanation. “I’m still the reason the slime villain got away.”
“Then don’t do that again,” Eraserhead said simply, “but seeing as you were trying to find a reason to convince yourself that you shouldn’t give up yet, you weren’t exactly in a state of mind good for decision making. You deserve more leniency than you’re giving yourself.”
Nedzu nodded, gratified that Aizawa seemed to feel the same about the situation. “I agree. You deserved scolding, yes, but you also deserve to live and learn from your mistakes. And I’d be honored to be one of the people teaching you.”
Midoriya’s tears had paused but now came back with a vengeance, pouring out with an intensity that Nedzu might have suspected was quirk-based if he didn’t know better. Eraserhead, still holding the kid’s phone, set it down propped against his foot and pulled Midoriya into his arms to sob. Nedzu hid a smile; Eraserhead’s students would likely never believe such gentle comfort could come from such a harsh and deadpan teacher, but he was a hero, and heroes comforted victims when needed.