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It felt as if Lin's whole word has collapsed.
The pain of losing her bending had flashed before her all over again...
As she truly had hoped that somehow Katara had the power to fix her the avatar.
She knew it was foolish, she knew it was a lost cause...But why? Why did it still hurt so much to be told it
Lin then heard Katara call out for her.
She felt someones comforting hand on her back, she closed her eyes to focus on their heartbeat so she could tell who it- oh yeah I can't do that anymore can I?
She furrowed her brows in frustration and inhaled deeply.
Lin wanted to scream, to break down and cry because now she can't even vent out her anger by throwing rocks.
But she couldn't not here not now. Beifongs are strong not weak, she heard a voice similar to her mothers.
Lin shoved the persons hand of her shoulder roughly.
"I need to go"She spoke in shaky voice before storming out.
She didn't know where she was going, fuck she didn't care she just needed to be alone. She wandered deep into the endless hills of snow unit the heavy weight of her metal uniform became too much to bare walking in.
Lin dropped down to the floor with a defeated sigh.
Her bending was her whole life, her motivation it was her everything.
When everyone left her, it felt as if the earth had stayed with her. With every step,movement or breath she felt a vibration from the earth reminding her that she was never truly alone.
The earth felt like home, the earth was always there for her when others weren't.
When Su scarred her and left Republic city scot-free, when Aang the only man she ever considered to be like a father to her had died, when Tenzin broke up with her after 10 years for some younger- fertile woman who would eagerly provide with with little airbenders because she didn't want to..When her mom left republic city without a word in a time she needed her the most...The earth had still been there sending back little vibrations and signals as if to offer her comfort...Support.
But then when her bending got taken away, she felt nothing.
She expected pain or some sort of feeling rushing through her..But truly all she felt was pure emptiness .
When her body slammed to the ground she no longer felt that familiar vibration no she felt nothing. It was like a senses had gone numb and the whole world around her had paused.
She had never felt so... Alone.
The earth was gone, it left her just like everyone else did it was taken from her.
The one thing that stayed as those she loved died or abandoned her was now gone and it wasn't coming back.
Her bending was her whole life so who was she without it?
A weak,pathetic nobody. Somebody not worthy of the Beifong name.
A shitty older sister who didn't take care of Suyin properly, a horrible daughter who made Toph want to leave her, and an awful girlfriend that couldn't give Tenzin the life he desired.
Am I just broken? Even more now?
Lin felt herself sink deeper into the snow, she closed her eyes and felt a dampness in here eyes.
"No.."She whimpered weakly "I can't-"
She lifted up her cold trembling hands and furiously wiped her eyes but the tears kept pouring down her face.
She felt like she was drowning in her own tears, and not matter how much she rubbed her face it was just a never ending waterfall.
She hopelessly wrapped her arms around herself and knelt further into the snow.
Just end it now...I'm..So...Done..I give up, Please just take me.
"Lin?"She heard a soft voice call out to her
"No! Leave me please! I can't-"She begged
"Lin!"The voice grew louder
Suddenly warm arms enclosed around her.
She opened her eyes and saw a blurry figure in front of her, masked by tears.
A gentle hand caressed her cheek tenderly, wiping away her tears.
Lin's heart skipped a beat as her vision cleared.
Familiar ocean blur orbs met the emerald green hues of her own eyes.
"Kya?"She whispered
She hadn't seen Kya in years, not since she left to explore the world whilst she was still dating Tenzin. Yet in 20 years Kya had aged a bit but still looked as breath taking as she did when they were younger. Lin had always admired women as much as she did men, she truly did love Tenzin but the way Kya made her feel was so different and yet she never had the courage to act on it.
"It's ok Linny i'm here"Kya smiled at her "Here you're shaking like a leaf"
Kya wrapped a warm fur coat around her.
Lin sniffed as she leaned into Kya's touch.
"Thanks.."She muttered "You can leave me now...please"
"No, i'm not leaving you not now not again Lin"Kya replied in a stern yet soft voice
Kya's thumb rubbed her cheek gently as the other hand held Lin's shoulder.
Lin looked desperately at Kya.
"Why?"Lin asked "Everyone does eventually, and now my bending has left me too....I'm not needed, I'm not worth anything"
"Yes you are Lin, I need you I care about you. You are so brave and loyal and caring you deserve to loved ,you are worthy of my care."
"Please Ky I..I can't-"Lin pleaded
I can't live without my bending
Kya pulled Lin into an embrace "Shhh it's ok Lin, it'll be ok. I promise, just let it out don't hold back. You're not weak for having emotions, you're still my Linny even without your bending"
Lin sunk in Kya's warm chest and let out desperate sobs as Kya rubbed comforting circles into her back.
After what felt like an eternity Lin pulled away from the hug.
"I'm sorry I-"
"Hey don't be it's not your fault, none of it is you saved Tenzin and his family. You were selfless."Kya reassured her with a smile
Lin nodded
"Mom's really worried about you, we should head back before she sends out a search party"Kya spoke as she got up.
"Ok"Lin replied weakly
Kya gently pulled Lin up by her hand and with a comforting hand on her back she slowly lead the younger woman back to her mothers home.
Lin felt a sudden surge of warm air enclose around her as her and Kya stepped into the hut.
"Lin! Kya! Oh my girls"Katara called out as the elderly healer rushed towards her.
Katara wrapped her arms around the two.
Lin awkwardly accepted the hug, she loved Katara and had always found her much more comforting than her own mom.... She knew Katara always saw her as one of her own but after she and Tenzin broke up...Katara didn't blame her and scolded Tenzin for how he handled things but Lin still blamed herself for wrecking air temple island. She distanced herself from Kya,Katara and Bumi, telling herself they were no longer her family and that they hated her.
Yet Lin felt nostalgia wash through her as she sank into Katara's embrace as no time has passed between them.
"I was so worried sweetheart"Katara stroked Lin's face "I'm so glad you're ok"
"I'm sorry aunty I didn't mean to-"
"Nonsense! Don't be sorry for anything my dear, please just sit down and i'll make you some tea to warm up"Katara told her
Before Lin could argue back Katara dragged her and Kya to a sofa and wrapped Lin in a fluffy blanket.
"Kya dear make sure she stays warm please?"Katara asked
"You got it mom"Kya smiled at Lin before wrapping an arm around her.
Katara smiled at the sight before walking off into a different room.
Lin fell deeper into Kya's warmth, she slowly felt her eyes drift off.
She realised that she hadn't had proper rest in a while.
"Its ok, go to sleep you probably need it. I'll wake you when your tea is ready"Kya softly stroked Lin's hair
"Ok"Lin muttered
She was so exhausted she couldn't even argue back and fight anymore, she just wanted to sink into Kya's warm chest and fall asleep to the soft beat of the waterbender's heart as she inhales her rosy perfume.
And so she did just that.
She wrapped an arm around Kya and burrowed her face into the older woman's chest as her eyes slowly closed.
"Thank you Ky"She muttered "You're worthy of my care too"
Though she couldn't sense it, with her ear directly above Kya's heart she could've sworn she felt Kya's heartbeat quicken.
"Its ok and thanks"Kya brushed it off "Now rest Lin,You're safe...You're ok"
Lin hummed.
Lin no longer felt alone.