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Percy could tell that Apollo was lying.
The god had a habit of being unable to meet someone’s eyes when he was lying. Whether it was due to habit or because Apollo was the god of truth, Percy didn’t know. What Percy did know - at least in this very moment - was that Apollo was lying to him again.
Maybe he would always lie to him.
There were times that Percy thought to himself - wondered - whether he was a fool or not.
He knew the stories. He had lived through some of them.
The gods were fickle.
Their affections could come and go at a moment's notice.
Percy had believed in the lie the god of truth told him.
Apollo had told him that he loved him, that he would be faithful and never stray.
And while Percy had his hesitations, he ultimately followed his heart. He had allowed the ascension that had always been held at bay by his mortality to surge forth. He had chosen immortality for Apollo.
But watching Apollo cradle his newborn daughter, a demigoddess, Percy couldn’t help but regret his decision.
His father, Poseidon, had been pleased. Not at the fact that he had chosen Apollo, but at the fact he had accepted immortality. Perhaps the Lord of the Seas had suspected - had known - that the sun god would not be faithful. Perhaps that was why he allowed Percy to date Apollo. Perhaps Poseidon had banked on the fact that once Apollo strayed, Percy would fully belong to the seas.
Percy turned away and headed back home.
But was it still home?
Percy…didn’t have an answer to that.
*
*
*
Percy waited for Apollo.
He had tossed the idea back and forth. A part of him wanted to give Apollo one more chance. Another part of him wanted to never see his face again. The two sides warred with each other. But the decision came easily enough once Apollo came home.
Apollo came back just after sundown, having completed his duties (at least in this part of the world - his consciousness was handling the other half).
Percy waited for Apollo to tell him the truth, after all, they had sworn to each other that they would not hide their mistakes from each other.
He waited.
And waited.
One day turned to two which turned into a week.
Percy had dropped hints, had asked Apollo whether he had been seeing someone, had all but told Apollo that he knew the truth.
But Apollo had ignored the hints, dodged the questions, and told Percy that there was nothing going on.
Apollo had stopped coming home as often.
Percy could have believed - would have believed - that Apollo had been busier than normal, but the son of Poseidon knew he would have been lying to himself.
*
*
*
Percy finally had an answer to his question.
Was it still home?
No, it was not.
*
*
*
When had the love faded?
When did he stop loving Apollo?
Percy didn’t want to believe that his love was so weak that it would fade so quickly.
He desperately wanted to grasp onto that love.
Aphrodite had appeared to him as he was spiraling. She had looked at him, not with pity, but with sadness. Her kaleidoscope eyes had wavered between sky blue and their usual rainbow of colors.
“Do I still love him?” Percy asked.
The goddess shook her head, and just as Percy felt a pit forming in his stomach, she replied, “I think you are hurting. It’s hard to tell whether the love is gone or it’s just buried.”
“When will the hurt stop?”
“That is for you to decide.” The goddess hesitated before she pulled out a crystal vial containing a dark purple liquid. “This is something I shouldn’t give you. To be honest, I don’t really want to give it to you. But I have a great many things to apologize for when it comes to your love life.”
Percy stayed silent, waiting for the goddess to continue.
Aphrodite held the vial out to the sea prince. “It’s a potion of love. It’s mixed with the waters of the Lethe and a drop of poison from Eros’s hate arrows. It will essentially cause you to forget your love for Apollo.”
The vial sparkled under the lights, astonishing pretty for something so wicked.
“Why are you giving this to me?”
“I know you Percy Jackson. You would continue living in hurt if it meant protecting the ones you love. Deep down, underneath that hurt, you know you still love Apollo. But sometimes loving someone hurts you more than it should. This is an escape from all that.”
The goddess gently curled Percy’s hand around the vial.
It was ice cold.
Hours after the goddess had left, Percy was still staring at the vial in his hands.
He had two options. He technically had three options, but the third wasn’t for him.
First, he could drink it now - and end all the pain and confusion. He would no longer need to be hurt by Apollo’s lies.
Second, he could throw it away, pour the liquid down the drain. He could give Apollo one more chance, and wait for the hurt to fade and the love to show itself again.
The third option was something he didn’t want to consider. He could store the vial away and wait for when the pain became too much. But Percy knew that he needed to make a decision before he chickened out.
It was either drink the vial or pour it out.
Apollo knew he had messed up.
He hated himself for the pain he was bringing Percy.
The result of a night of stupid decisions had ended up being him breaking his promises to Percy.
He saw the sadness grow in Percy’s eyes every day he withheld the truth.
Apollo had lied about a great many things in his life - ironic for someone who held the title of the god of truth - but the one thing he had never lied about was his love for Percy.
He made sure Percy knew it, making sure to gaze into those beautiful sea green eyes when he professed his love.
But…
That was the only time he really ever looked Percy in the eyes wasn’t it?
In all their years of being together, Percy never once told a lie.
But Apollo had seemed to tell more lies than truths.
He could fix this.
He needed to fix this.
***
“I love you.” Apollo whispered to Percy, holding the sea prince close. “I love you so much.”
Percy stayed silent.
Apollo felt ice crawl up his ichor filled veins.
The sun god, filled with terror, began to speak rapidly.
He confessed all his mistakes and lies.
He buried his face into Percy’s neck, begging for forgiveness. “I’m sorry,” Apollo whispered, voice choked with tears. “I never meant to hurt you. I just…”
Percy still did not speak.
“I love you.” Apollo whispered, gazing into the eyes he loved so much.
“I…love you too.” Percy finally spoke.
But rather than relief, there was a deep sense of terror.
Percy had looked away.
Sitting innocently on the nightstand was a crystal vial, emptied, save for the droplets of a purple liquid.