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It’d been a hard year. Well, almost two really, but who was actually counting?
You were. And Ominis. It felt like the two of you kept track of each second Sebastian was gone. Not just gone, disappeared. After Solomon had been killed in the catacomb, triggering Anne’s departure, Sebastian just…vanished. Not a word to either of you.
You’d spent those first few months searching. Every night, every holiday, every weekend. You and Ominis would hole up in the cold, empty Sallow home, praying he’d wander in. He’d made some awful, terrible, wicked decisions, but every night you spent flying over the hamlets, all you could see were his wide eyes as he watched Anne cradle Solomon’s lifeless body. He’d just been a boy, helpless, trying to save something he loved more than life when it seemed everyone else had given up. It’s like he’d been stuck in quicksand, the harder he fought, the faster he sank.
At first, you were angry. Angry at him for leaving you and Ominis to pick up the pieces, angry at him for pushing things so far, angry at yourself for letting him. You’d fooled yourself, believing he’d stop if you were serious enough, believing your words would be able to change his trajectory. You were wrong.
After the anger, came the sorrow, great heaving waves that would crash down on you, beating your battered body against the ocean floor. Some nights you’d find yourself sobbing into Ominis’s shoulder, hating yourself for your weakness, surprised Ominis didn’t hate you too.
Eventually, your sorrow became a deep loneliness. A hollow feeling in your chest, driving you to keep searching, everywhere, anywhere. You imagined that this loneliness may have been something akin to the driving force Sebastian felt. Underneath all that rage, had been a terrible, all consuming loneliness. He’d simply missed his sister, just as you now missed him.
After a year, you stopped. You couldn’t do it anymore, breaking your own heart night after night, cursing the heavens for their cruelty. It was too much, and you hated yourself even more for it.
Ominis continued to search. Not as often, but you knew there were nights he’d walk the dark streets of Feldcroft, hoping to catch a glimpse of messy brunette hair, atop a mischievous freckled smile.
He knew you stopped, and he never faulted you for it. Never blamed you for anything, simply acknowledged your actions with a quiet understanding. Even though you didn’t go looking anymore, you’d still catch yourself gazing at the gates or searching the crowded halls, disappointed every time.
—-------
The start of your 7th year was uneventful. You greeted your friends with enthusiasm, some already lamenting that this was your final year together before life led you elsewhere. You’d laugh, telling them to slow down and focus on classes before planning any goodbye parties.
You’d spent the first week welcoming the first years, catching up with your housemates, and studiously ignoring the haunting visage of broad shoulders and brown locks, disappearing into crowded corridors. These brief hallucinations were nothing new, and you vowed to enjoy your final year, despite their frequent occurrences.
You’d spent far too long chasing ghosts, perhaps it was time to move on.
—-------
You were charging down the steps of Central Hall, incredibly late for Herbology, having fallen asleep in The History of Magic, again. Several books and loose notes were clutched in your arms, many just barely hanging on by the edges.
You weren’t paying attention to your surroundings in the slightest, nearly falling headfirst over the handrail in order to avoid barreling into anyone.
Successfully shoving your way through a group of Quidditch players, you emerge, only to ram your face right into a hard chest. Dropping your supplies, you yelp in pain and cover your nose, afraid you’d broken it and would need to head to the Hospital Wing. You doubled over, shooting off some incredibly creative expletives you were sure would make even the Hogshead regulars blush.
Squinting through your tears, you could see that the stranger had stopped, having used Levioso to catch all your books. You start spewing apologies, while repeatedly thanking them for gathering your belongings. You still hadn’t looked to see who you’d bumped into, the figure being much too tall to be anyone you knew. Determining that your nose wasn’t broken, you blink away the remaining tears and go to grab your books from the kind man. He’d had yet to say anything, and patiently stood, unmoving in front of you.
Looking up, you attempt to apologize once more, when the words die in your throat. The boy…man, standing in front of you was significantly taller than the last time you’d seen him, your eyes level with his chest. Some of the youthfulness had disappeared from his face, leaving a chiseled jaw and prominent cheekbones, his freckles accentuating their contour. You struggled to take in oxygen as your eyes scanned his face, subconsciously noting a new scar decorating his brow, and another faint one across the bridge of his nose.
You stood there frozen, having completely forgotten your earlier rush, trying to figure out if your grief had taken your hallucinations to a whole new level. Perhaps you really did need to go to the Hospital Wing after all.
He looked back at you just as silently, face stoic and unreadable, but never taking his gaze away from you. His eyes darted around your face, as if he was memorizing you, noting the changes he saw, lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second before darting away.
A book still hung suspended in the air in front of you, forgotten as you studied each other, the room and bustling students fading away until it was just the two of you. You stood there with wide eyes, watering with the need to blink, but refusing to do so lest he disappear again.
A small whimper escapes your lips, and you see his eyebrow twitch at the noise, hands and jaw clenching as you take in a shaky breath.
“Se…bastian?” You whispered his name quietly. So quietly, you weren’t entirely sure if you’d spoken at all. He blinked, and suddenly the spell was broken. His face became stony, and he used his wand to place your remaining book into your arms before brushing past you. You thought you heard him grumble ‘You’re late’ as he passed, but couldn’t quite hear him over the blood rushing in your ears.
He left you standing dumbstruck, staring at the space he’d just occupied, startling when you felt something wet hit the back of your hand. You brought that hand up to your face, feeling the wet tracks sliding silently down your cheeks, unsure of when you’d started crying.
—-------
You’d walked in a daze to Herbology, miraculously managing to still make it on time. Professor Garlick set to reviewing a few key points from the previous year before starting the lesson, which you barely paid attention to, instead operating completely on autopilot until the class had ended. You continued on like that for the rest of the day, many of your friends asking what had happened, but only receiving a distracted ‘nothing’ in return.
Wandering down to the Undercroft, you hoped Ominis would be there, if only to tell you that you’d finally gone mad and it was all in your head. You failed to hear two voices rising in volume as you descended into the room, unable to take your wide eyes off the floor, where they’d lingered all day.
The gate opened and you shuffled forward, the tense voices immediately halting as you spoke.
“Ominis, I-I think I saw S-...oh.” Your eyes dragged themselves from the floor, landing on the scene before you. Sebastian and Ominis stand, staring at you from the center of the room. You’d clearly just interrupted a very heated conversation, judging from the furrowed brows and angry flush the boys were sporting.
Sebastian’s gaze hardened as he stood up straight, jaw clenching once more as he looked at you. Breaking eye contact, he swiftly strode past Ominis to the exit.
“We’ll continue this later.”
You wanted to call out to him, beg him not to leave again, but he felt too far away. It was like you were standing alone on an island, watching your ship purposefully sail away from you. Your mouth opened to speak as you watched him pass you, but no sound came out, a helpless look in your eyes.
A snarl sounded from behind you, coming from deep in Ominis’s chest. “Sallow! Don’t you dare walk away, you coward. Get your ass back here and give them an ex-”
“I have nothing to say to them.” His words hit you square in the chest, a pained noise forcing itself out of your throat.
Back to you, he hesitated only a moment, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides before exiting the Undercroft without another word.
Your body shook violently, hyperventilating as your breath came in quick succession. You were crying again, staring at the door he’d left through, trying to keep it together. Ominis called to you urgently, rushing to your side as you heaved air painfully into your lungs. He threw his arms around you, trapping your arms against your sides as he squeezed you.
He kept reassuring you, asking you to breathe with him. You shook your head, hysterically repeating that everything was fine, you were fine.
You both sunk to the floor, earth shattering sobs wracked your body as you held onto Ominis’s arm for dear life. You could feel a wet spot from where Ominis pressed his cheek up against your shoulder, allowing himself to cry with you as you got your breathing semi under control. You held each other for a long time, parting only when you felt calm enough to head to your separate beds, resolving to speak at a later date.
You lay in bed that night with dry eyes, unable to shed another tear. Staring blankly at the curtains surrounding you, the night dragged on, sleep avoiding you at every turn.
—-------
It’d been a couple days since the incident in the Undercroft, your mind felt a bit numb, no doubt caused by the raging storm of emotions that’d been plaguing your thoughts. Ominis had been unable to meet you since that night, 7th year classes bogging you both down, leaving little room for anything else. You sat alone in the library, tucked away in a back corner hidden from prying eyes, quietly trying to focus on your pile of assignments.
Realizing you needed a specific book to complete your paper, you stand from your chair and walk to the appropriate section. You squint at the spines, trying to make out the tiny lettering, noticing that the book you were after was filed incorrectly and was sitting on a much higher shelf. Sighing, you reach into your robes for your wand, confused when your pockets come up empty. You look at the floor, wondering if it’d fallen, until you recall placing it on your study table next to your stack of homework.
Heaving another heavy sigh, you stare up at the book, wondering if it was even worth it to walk all the way back for your wand. Standing on your toes, you try to stretch as far as you can, fingers just brushing the lip of the shelf you needed. Grunting in frustration, you put one foot on the lowest shelf and pull yourself a little higher, fingers now grazing the spine, but unable to get a good grasp.
As you were about to put your other foot on the next shelf, opting to just climb the bookcase, an arm appears above you and removes the book from the shelf. Scrambling down, you spin around to object.
“Oh! Um, I was actually trying to-” Your eyes travel upward and find themselves captive to Sebastian’s intense gaze. His hand had paused above you, the corner of the book still resting on the edge of the wood, effectively trapping you between him and the bookshelf. Your mouth felt dry at the close proximity, but you refused to break eye contact.
“Um…I need that.”
You swore you could see the slightest quirk of his lips, as if he wanted to smirk at you, but held it in. “I know. That’s why I grabbed it.”
He slowly lowers his arm, handing you the book gently. You take it hesitantly, accidentally brushing his fingers with yours. He’d been very careful to keep his distance even with the close proximity, so you felt his fingers jerk away when they’d touched yours, as if he’d been shocked. His brow twitched, lips turning down into a frown. You didn’t want to see that look on his face, so you broke eye contact, looking at the floor.
“Thank you.” Careful not to touch him again, you stepped around him and started walking back to your table. You wondered why he’d helped you, seeing as how he clearly didn’t want anything to do with you. Pausing your movement, you turn toward him once more, face still directed at the ground.
“I’m sorry.” You weren’t sure when the next opportunity to speak to him would present itself, if it would present itself, so you wanted to say your piece while you had the chance.
He quirked an eyebrow at you, putting his hands into his pockets before leaning a shoulder against the bookshelf. “For what?”
Apparently he was in a more talkative mood today, seeing as how these were the most words he’d spoken to you since his return. You looked up at him, feeling a little braver, and did your best to not stare at his exposed forearms. He really had grown up quite a bit over the last two years.
“For…being weak. I couldn’t- I couldn’t help Anne, and…and if I were stronger, maybe I could’ve. Then you wouldn’t have had to…go away.” Chancing a glance, you could see a pinched look on his face, his brow scrunched together in a look of distress.
The almost pleasant atmosphere was gone, replaced with a tense weight that threatened to crush you if you pushed too hard. Looking back at the floor, you clutch the book to your chest, trying to use it as a kind of shield against his ire. “I understand why you…hate…me, but I just-”
“I don’t hate you.”
The words were murmured quickly, his voice so low you had to strain to hear him. You glanced up, a look of heartbreak rested itself on his handsome face, the most emotion you’d seen from him thus far.
Letting a sad smile slip onto your face, you held his gaze. “You don’t have to lie.”
Deciding that your heart couldn’t handle more, you turn on your heel and quickly walk back to the rest of your belongings, gathering everything into your bag and checking out the book. You could do your assignments elsewhere, for now you just needed to put some distance between yourself, and the man watching your back longingly.
—-------
After that, you did your best to avoid Sebastian entirely. Making sure to always look busy, or seem engrossed in a conversation if you passed him in the halls. You noticed he and Ominis had started hanging around each other again. Often surrounded by tense silence, but you were glad to see them putting forth the effort to fix their relationship. You didn’t see much of Ominis, the blonde mainly focusing on repairing things with Sebastian, which was fine. You had plenty of other friends to spend your free time with, but you did miss his company.
One person you found yourself gravitating towards was Garreth Weasley. He was social, and could talk to anyone about anything, making him incredibly easy to be around. Which is what you felt like you needed, an easy friendship that didn’t demand that much from you. You’d often walk together between classes, laughing as you teased him about his crush on Poppy, his freckled face growing redder every second.
Sometimes, you could sense a pair of eyes boring into your back, the feeling fading as soon as you’d turn to look.
Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, a whole month had passed. Mid term exams were fast approaching and you were on your way to the library with Garreth, arguing playfully about the number of lacewing flies needed for a Felix Felicis potion. Garreth was adamant that the more flies you added, the more potent the potion, but you were pretty sure it would cause an explosion.
You weren’t paying attention to where you were going, and bumped directly into Sebastian, for the second time. You bounced off him lightly with a small ‘oof’, noting that he didn’t move an inch, clearly having planted himself in your path. You look up at his face, noticing his gaze trained directly on Garreth, who looked back slightly unnerved.
“I need to talk to you.”
Sebastian didn’t break eye contact with Garreth, so you assumed he was speaking to the redhead, but after a beat he turned his eyes expectantly in your direction. He hadn’t phrased it as a question, his tone leaving little room for you to object, but it would be rude to ditch Garreth when the two of you already had plans, so you tried anyway.
“I can’t really talk right now. Garreth and I are-” Sebastian’s eyes shot to Garreth again, a dark glare daring the other boy to challenge him.
“You know what, that’s totally ok with me. You, uh, go have that conversation, and I’ll get a head start on the assignment.” Garreth hurried off to the library without looking back. Sebastian tracked his movement with narrowed eyes, turning back to you once you were alone.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Sebastian crossed his arms as he spoke, a grumpy set to his brow. He stood close, forcing you to look up at him as he towered over you. You squeezed your books a bit tighter against your chest, trying to stop its incessant pounding.
“Have I?”
Sebastian huffed, brows furrowing further.
“Don’t play coy with me.”
You bit the inside of your lip, studying his face, trying to pinpoint his angle in this conversation. “Is it really ‘avoiding’ if you don’t want to see me anyway?”
He got that pinched look again, and no matter how hard you looked, you still couldn’t discern its meaning. “I never said I didn’t want to see you.”
Some of that old snippiness you’d get when arguing with him started to resurface, and you shot back at him without thinking. “Your attitude seems to indicate otherwise.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, his scowl deepening. “How would you know anything about my attitude, when you’ve clearly been avoiding me?”
You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, suddenly remembering the stress headaches he’d give you when he was being particularly stubborn. “Sebastian. What- What is it you want? First you’re storming out of the Undercroft, refusing to speak to me, and now you’re upset that I’ve been giving you a wide berth? I’m getting whiplash from the constant back and forth. So what is it?”
You don’t hear anything for a moment, the air charged and hanging dense between you two. Just as you’re about to tell him to forget it, he speaks.
“I’m sorry.” You open your eyes to see him staring at his shoes, the same pinched look back on his face. “Ominis and I had a pretty bad argument before you came down that night. I…was feeling emotional, and took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
You weren’t sure if it was due to shame or not, but Sebastian was struggling to look you in the eyes, like he was afraid of what he might see there. You let out a small sigh, arms coming to cross over your heart protectively.
“I can understand that. You probably didn’t want to see me anyway so-”
“Stop saying that.” His voice is fierce, beckoning your eyes to look up at him. He traps you in his stare as soon as your eyes meet, a pleading look behind his irises. “I did want to see you. I do want to see you.”
You look at him helplessly, trying desperately to decipher what his eyes were trying to tell you. Your voice comes out in a pained whisper, unable to mask the deep hurt his absence created. “Then why didn’t you?”
His face crumples and he has to break eye contact, looking back at the floor. He bites his lips and blinks a few times before taking a deep breath, voice matching yours in volume. “I-I can’t tell you…right now. Not because- because I don’t want to. I just, need a little bit more time.”
Looking at Sebastian in this moment, it seemed like the weight of the world rested on his broad shoulders. You could see that whatever happened in his absence had aged him well beyond his years. As much as you wanted to demand answers from him, you could clearly see how close he was to the edge, and didn’t want to be the thing that pushed him off.
“Ok.”
His shoulders slumped immediately, all the tension leaving them. He didn’t remove his eyes from the floor, but released a sigh while nodding his head. “Thank you.”
The two of you stood there in silence for a moment longer, unsure where to go from here. Sebastian glanced up at you through his lashes, scuffing his foot on the floor. “I guess you should, uh, get to Garreth.”
Truthfully, you’d completely forgotten about Garreth, suddenly feeling guilty for keeping him waiting for so long. “Yeah, I guess I should. Um, see you…later?”
The question came out shaky and unsure, but Sebastian nodded his head instantly, letting out a quiet ‘yeah’ before bidding you goodbye. You walked past him towards the library, and could hear him turn to watch you disappear down the stairs.
————-
You started slow. Giving each other small smiles and waves in the corridor, or across The Great Hall during meal times. From there, you escalated to walking each other to class, keeping conversations light. Safe.
It was clear that you’d both changed while apart, and you wanted to take your time getting to know this new person, dressed in such familiar skin.
Your heart would leap in your chest every time you got a chuckle out of him, feeling like you’d put another crack in his shell with each one. You tried not to let the giddiness show on your face, often looking down, lips trembling with effort as you fought a wide smile.
Ominis would often accompany you to your shared classes, giving you a small sense of normalcy after being without for so long. It wasn’t what it used to be, not by a long shot, but you hoped the three of you could get back to something similar.
Sebastian picked up Quidditch again. Well, it was more like Imelda grabbed the back of his collar and physically dragged him all the way to the pitch for practice, telling him that he’d do well to put his new muscle to good use. He’d tried to protest, giving up quickly, as he had enough sense to know he shouldn’t piss her off too much. You hadn’t been aware that Sebastian was even on the Quidditch team, but Ominis informed you that he’d been one of the top Chasers in Hogwarts before the season was canceled in your fifth year.
You were walking to Potions with Garreth, being interrogated about what he should get Poppy as a courting gift, when you felt a dark aura heading down the hall toward you. Turning your head from Garreth, you see Sebastian stalking towards you, a slight scowl on his face as his eyes dart between the two of you. Sebastian wasn’t overly fond of Garreth. Why? You couldn’t say, but Sebastian was always extra cranky when the red head was around, refusing to explain himself. You’d tried asking Ominis once, but all he did was sigh and say ‘Because he’s an idiot.’
Whatever the reason, the scowl on his face remained firmly in place as the three of you converged, stopping briefly.
Garreth hadn’t the faintest idea as to why Sebastian disliked him, but still made an effort to be welcoming and friendly whenever together. “Sebastian!”
“Weasley.” Garreth didn’t let the brunette’s curt greeting phase him, even as Sebastian crossed his arms, scowl deepening.
“Excited to see you back on the pitch tomorrow! Hope you kept up your flying during your time abroad.”
Anytime someone would inquire about Sebastian’s long period of absence, he’d simply state that he’d been a part of an exchange program, studying at one of the other magic academies. It was enough to placate most people, many too intimidated by his stoic mask to pry further.
Sebastian’s eyebrow twitched, taking Garreth’s friendly competition as a slight against his abilities with a broom. “I’m not the one you should be worrying about.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, pondering a way to break this weird tension. There had been several attempts to correct Sebastian on Garreth’s intentions, but every time he’d narrow his eyes at you, muttering ‘That’s just what he wants you to think’ under his breath before staring daggers over at the Gryffindor table.
Just as you were about to excuse yourself and continue walking to class, hoping Garreth would follow, a smug voice called your name, the figure strolling up to your group with unwarranted swagger. Turning, you pray it’s Ominis, even though you know it’s definitely not.
Leander Prewett came to a stop beside you, much too close for comfort, an over confident smirk plastered on his mouth. “Hello, dearest. How are you on this fine day?”
Sebastian ground his teeth together, a deep irritation rolling off him in waves. “Fucking perfect.”
You’d been forced to inform Sebastain of Leander’s unfortunate fixation on you, when he’d sent you a poorly written love letter, via howler. Crouching in the hall, you covered your mortified face with your hands as Leander’s howler screamed his misguided feelings for all to hear.
His obsession started all the way back in the beginning of sixth year, when you’d made the mistake of complimenting his physique. He’d been upset that a girl he fancied turned him down, convincing himself he was too ugly to love.
In a well meaning attempt to cheer him up, you’d disagreed and said he was very handsome, promising someone would be very lucky to have him one day. To your dismay, he took that as a confession, immediately swearing his love and loyalty to you for the rest of his days. You’d tried ever so gently to correct him, but he’d refused to hear it, choosing to believe that you were just shy, embarrassed by your feelings for him.
Now, in the midst of your seventh year, it seemed he was still in hot pursuit, all of your rejections falling on deaf ears.
Sebastian heard all this and went on the offense, looking Leander dead in the eye as he shredded the letters with his fingers and set every bouquet on fire. This did little to deter Leander, vowing to rescue his love from the clutches of the beast guarding them.
“Get lost, Prewett. They’re not interested.”
Leander scoffed, turning his nose up at Sebastian, ignoring him completely. “Anyway, my sweet, would you care to join m-”
“No thank you, Leander. As I’ve said before, I’m not on the market.” Your words are monotone, practiced, saying the same line you had a hundred times before.
Sebastian visibly stiffened, eyes boring into you as his face dropped a bit. Furrowing your brow, you tilt your head at him in silent question, confused by his reaction. Leander laughed loudly, as if your comment was meant as a jest.
“My pet, of course you’re not on the market! Obviously you’re with m-”
“No. I’m not, as I’ve said several times before.”
Deciding you’d had just about enough, you grab Garreth by the wrist, walking quickly towards the potions classroom. “We’re going to be late for class. Sebastian, I’ll see you later?”
All you got in return was a distracted nod, Sebastian’s mind clearly elsewhere. You wanted to ask what was wrong, but you really were going to be late for class if you didn’t hurry. Throwing him one more concerned look over your shoulder, you and Garreth hurry to Professor Sharp’s class.
—-------
You didn’t end up seeing Sebastian for the rest of the day, or the morning after. The next time you spotted him was on the pitch, during warm ups for the quidditch game between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Garreth gave you an enthusiastic wave, which you returned, while also gesturing with your head to Poppy sitting beside you. He blushed slightly, also waving at her shyly, a nervous smile painting his lips. Poppy reciprocated in much the same manner, looking down at her hands in embarrassment.
You searched the field and locked eyes with Sebastian, who’d just witnessed your interaction with Garreth, giving him an encouraging smile as you mouthed the words ‘You’ll do great’. His face was impassive as he nodded his head slightly, turning back to focus on his teammates.
Hoping to get the chance to speak with him later, you turned your attention to the field as the players got in position. You could see the tension in everyone’s bodies, the air charged as they waited for the signal, and as the horn blew, they were off.
Your eyes were glued to the field, watching in awe as the players maneuvered their brooms with skill and ease. During your fifth year, you’d bested Imelda in the training courses she loved, which was mostly thanks to the upgrades Albie had installed.
Watching her now though, you were convinced it had been a fluke. She turned her broom in a tight corkscrew zipping straight towards the ground, pulling up at the last second in pursuit of the Golden Snitch.
Scanning the field, you spot Sebastian tossing the quaffle through yet another hoop, diving after it quickly as soon as it’d gone through. He deftly dodged the bludgers hurtling towards him, focus unbroken as he scored again. It seemed to you that a good portion of the Gryffindor team was focused solely on slowing him down, failing at every turn. You were unable to take your eyes off him, the way his uniform hugged his body at the forefront of your mind.
Looking down quickly, you mentally chastise yourself. You’d just barely become friends again, sort of, and you weren’t about to jeopardize that in any way. He still hadn’t revealed to you why he’d left, a part of you still convinced it was because of you. Furrowing your brows, you shook your head a bit, trying to dispel the depressing thoughts that had begun to form. Instead, you focus back on the game, eyes still periodically straying to Sebastian’s form.
Leaning on the edge of your seat, you watch with bated breath as both teams continued to score on the other, the tension reaching its peak when both were tied at 140. It was anyone’s game, each side needing to score one last goal to claim their victory. Imelda remained focused on the snitch, having little regard for the other players as she ducked and wove through them.
You heard shouts of excitement from the stands, straining your eyes to see what the commotion was about.
Finally, you see Sebastian swiftly swipe a quaffle out of Garreth’s hands, speeding towards the Gryffindor goals, laser focused. Almost every Gryffindor player abandoned their formations, instead attempting to converge on Sebastian before he scored. Unfortunately, they were too late. Not that it would have mattered anyway, for at the same time Sebastian scored the final goal, Imelda shot to the sky triumphant, Golden Snitch clutched in her hand.
You’d never seen anything like it. No wonder Imelda had been so forceful about Sebastian joining the team, together they made quite a formidable pair. Everyone in the stands lost their minds at Slytherin’s double victory, and you shouted with the rest of your friends, heart swelling with pride over Sebastian’s achievement.
Everyone rushed down to the field to congratulate the players, even commending the Gryffindor team for their exceptional skill and near win. You pushed through the throngs of people, looking in every direction for the brunette.
Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you whirl around, only to be faced with Leander’s smug grin, his uniform damp from playing.
“Come to cheer me up, my sweet? Your kindness knows no bounds.” He moves forward to embrace you, and you swiftly put up your arm, keeping him at a distance.
“Leander, seriously I’m not-”
Leander continues to advance on you, forcing you to take a step back for every one he takes forward. There isn’t anywhere to run in such a thick crowd, but your eyes dart around for any possible escape routes. “Oh come now, stop being so coy, we’re finally alone aren’t we? Where’s your scary guard dog, hm? I don’t see him.”
“He’s right here.”
A cold, angry voice growled lowly in your ear, sending a chill up your spine. Sebastian stares hard at Leander’s hands stretched out towards you, clearly attempting to stop your obvious retreat.
You, however, completely forget Leander’s existence as you crane your neck up to look at Sebastian. There are beads of sweat decorating his brow from all the energy he’d exerted, his slight flush emboldening the scars he’d yet to explain to you. You stare at his rugged beauty for a moment longer, lost in counting the freckles littering his cheeks, before remembering the major victory he’d just accomplished.
Without thinking, your body twists itself around, and you practically throw yourself at him so hard he has to catch you. He makes a grunt of surprise and stumbles back a step before steadying you both.
Your arms wind themselves around his shoulders, squeezing him as tightly as they can, a mad grin on your face as you speak into his ear. “I’m so fucking proud of you. That was amazing. I’m so glad I got to watch you play.”
He doesn’t return the hug, body tense as he stands there in shock. Noticing his lack of reciprocation, you suddenly remember how hard he’d been working to avoid any physical contact with you. It hurt at first, his aversion to your touch, but you’d respected it as a silent boundary he’d put up as a condition of his friendship.
Suddenly you feel awful, having crossed that boundary thoughtlessly in your excitement. You thought were truly no better than Leander, and immediately went to retract your arms, an apology already on your lips.
Sebastian feels you loosen your grip on him, and his brain finally catches up. He wraps his arms around your torso, crushing you to him, almost squeezing all the air from your lungs. His face finds the crook of your neck, burying itself as deep as it can go.
“Please don’t stop.” His words are quiet, desperate, lips brushing your skin as they move. You freeze at his plea, confused, but remain where you are.
“I’m sorry, I- I was just so excited. I didn’t mean to push you into-”
“No. You didn’t. I…it’s- it’s ok.” His arms tighten impossibly around you, asking you to squeeze him just as hard.
“But…you’re always so careful not to-”
“I didn’t want to become greedy.”
You almost miss his quiet confession, his murmuring and the noise from the crowd making it difficult to hear his words. You think that maybe you weren’t supposed to hear them as Sebastian nuzzles further into your neck. “I’m sorry. This is…the first hug I’ve gotten in…a long time. Could you just- could you just stay…here, with me?”
Nodding your head as best you can, you card your fingers through his hair, holding his head to you, uncaring of the sweat dampening it. His breath shudders out of him, body melting further into you.
You stay locked like that until people start filtering off the field, and he’s called away for a debrief with his team. He releases you reluctantly, hands lingering as long as they’re able, bidding you a goodnight before trudging after the rest of the players.
—-------
It seemed like the floodgates opened after that night, Sebastian finding any and all reasons to be touching you in some way or another. Whether it was linking your arms as you walked together, or capturing your ankle with both of his while you ate across from each other. It was overwhelming at first, going from no contact to pressing his leg flush with yours in class, but it certainly wasn’t a change you were complaining about.
Sebastian became more at ease. His smiles coming easier, his laughs getting louder, talking more than he had the whole year. He really started spending time with you and Ominis, rarely being seen without one of you, if not both.
You were thrilled, you really were, feeling like you were finally seeing the real Sebastian, but there was a constant nagging in the back of your mind. He still hasn't explained his disappearance, and you wondered if, maybe now, he was comfortable enough with you to talk about it.
Sebastian asked you to come with him to the Undercroft after class, not wanting to fight through the crowds in the library that appeared right before exams. Packing your things, you automatically take his arm, touching him becoming second nature. He guides you down the hall, a small pleased smile gracing his lips. Opening the clock face, he ushers you inside with a gentle hand on your lower back.
Once in the room, you lean your backs against the wall, shoulders pressed together as you complete your assignments in comfortable silence.
He interrupted the silence with a question about Diricawl breeding, needing the answer for his Beasts class paper, which led to you sharing a wild story about the vanishing bird.
You told him how someone has snuck an irate Diricawl into the Slytherin Common Room, unleashing it on poor Ominis, who was unable to avoid its beak as it teleported around the room after him. You had tears in your eyes as you recounted the disheveled, panting state he’d been in when he’d run into you, begging you to catch the damn thing and stop his torment.
Sebastian laughed with you, clutching at a stitch in his side. “When- Merlin’s beard, When did this happen?”
You wiped your eyes, laughter trailing off slowly, a soft melancholy coming over your features. Avoiding eye contact, you keep your gaze on the piles of homework in front of you. “When, um…when you were gone. In our sixth year.”
The atmosphere became stifling as an awkward silence befell the room. Clearing your throat, you picked up your quill again, continuing to work on your assignment.
A moment passes, the scratching of your quill the only sound in the room. You see movement from the corner of your eye. A hand stretching across you, fingers gently brushing yours as they take the quill from your hand, setting it down. You don’t look at Sebastian until he calls your name softly, slowly turning your eyes towards him.
His face is pained, gaze searching your face as he starts to speak. “Please don’t- I…I thought I was going to hurt you.”
Eyes widening, you turn further towards him. He breaks eye contact, looking down at his lap as he fiddles with his fingers, murmuring quietly. “I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you. Either of you. You were…are so important to me, and I thought that if I…stayed, you’d-”
Sebastian’s breathing shuddered, hands trembling slightly as his words became watery. “-you’d end up like my uncle. And- And then Anne left, and I was so scared something would happen to her, I tried to…find her, but I couldn’t, and-”
Blinking, you feel wet drops hit your hands, but you refuse to look away from Sebastian as he tries to speak. “I was too afraid to face you, or Ominis. Knowing I’d failed everyone I loved was- was too much, so I…I ran.”
“...Where did you go?” He looked at you then, finally seeing the tear tracks down your face. Bringing a hand up, he wiped your cheeks with his thumb, fingertips lingering before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“I…I went far. As far as I could. I…became a mercenary of sorts, getting paid to clear out poacher camps, or deliver high value items across hamlets. I thought that…maybe if I did as much good as possible…I could be forgiven. That you’d forgive me.” His hand continued to pet your hair as he leaned his head against the wall, suddenly too heavy for his neck to support. He gazes at you sadly, memorizing your face in case you never speak to him again.
You gaze back just as intently, once again mapping the changes in his face, quietly mulling over his words. “Why- Why did you come back?”
His hand stilled, resting on your cheek. Unconsciously, you tilt your head further into his palm, craving more contact.
“I missed you.” He says it so sincerely, like it’s the only true thing he’d ever said in his life. “So much.”
You feel like the wind is knocked out of you, but still manage a whisper. “Then…When I saw you…why-”
“I was afraid. I didn’t know what to say. You looked like I’d carved your heart out of your chest and ripped it to shreds. I thought that I’d made a mistake…coming back, so I decided you’d be better off without me.”
Shaking your head, you grabbed onto his arm, holding his wrist securely, suddenly afraid he’d disappear again. He blinked, a few tears falling from his lashes as he bit his lip. “...but I couldn’t stay away. I tried to, but every time you looked at me…I couldn’t get enough, and I hated myself for it. I still do.”
You hiccupped, and his thumb collected your tears once more, knuckles lightly brushing your cheek bone when he was done.
“If I was a stronger man, I’d let you go, but…I’m not.”
You sobbed openly. Sebastian pulled you into his lap, rocking you back and forth as you cried into his chest. You told him how much you missed him, how worried you were, how you’d go out looking for him every chance you got. You begged him not to leave again, wailing all your hurt into his sweater.
His arms tightened with every word you spoke, face buried in your neck, tears soaking your collar. He apologized over and over, the two of you holding each other for dear life until you’d stopped crying, and then for a long while afterward. Only parting when the Bell Tower signaled the start of curfew.
—-------
Time passed slowly after that, weeks going by as the season gradually changed. There was something unnamed between you and Sebastian, several of your friends commenting on how sweet he was towards you. If Ominis happened to be around, he’d look at them quizzically and ask what they were talking about, stating that Sebastian had always treated you that way. You weren’t sure if you completely believed it, but Ominis was adamant that this was Sebastain’s normal behavior around you.
Walking the halls, you attempted to give Garreth the pep talk of the century, trying to boost his confidence for his rendezvous with Poppy. “You got this Garr, no sweat, just tell her how you feel.”
He took a deep breath and looked at you nervously. “You sure it’ll be ok?”
“Yes! I’m positive. I couldn’t be more positive. Just trust me on this.”
He took another deep breath, bouncing in place a few times, trying to shake out his jitters. “Ok. I’m ready. I just- before I go…”
Garreth takes both of your hands in his, squeezing a little, his smile nervous but warm. “I just…want to thank you, you know, for being my friend. You’ve always been there for me, probably more so than I’ve been there for you, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate y-”
Your hands are suddenly ripped from Garreths and your world turns upside down. You’re thrown onto a broad shoulder, an arm securing you in place as they walk away with you. You look up at Garreths shocked expression, mouth hanging open, hands still outstretched from where he’d held yours. Turning as much as you can, you look at the back of the perpetrator’s head.
“Sebastian!” Looking back at Garreth, you see him take a few steps to follow.
“It’s ok Garreth! Go on ahead! Good Luck!” You had to shout at him to be heard, Sebastian putting as much distance as possible between you and the redhead.
“Sebastian! Wha- Put me down! This is so embarrassing!” He ignores your cries and continues walking, other students stopping their activities to watch you flail on his shoulder. You recognize the path he’s taking, crossing your arms and giving up your struggle until you get to your destination.
Sebastian only puts you down once you’ve crossed the threshold into the Undercroft. Your arms stay crossed as you glare up at him, Sebastian mirroring your pose, refusing to break eye contact. You squint at each other in silence for a beat before you speak.
“What the hell was that.”
Sebastian doesn’t speak for a moment, jaw clenching as he regards you.
“Go on a date with me.”
He’s so grumpy when he asks, or rather demands, that you’re not entirely sure you heard him correctly.
“...What.”
Sebastian sighs, annoyed that he has to repeat himself.
“You’d probably prefer someone like Garreth, but I’m throwing my hat in the ring. Go on a date with me.”
Your brain short circuits for a moment, but then is irritated with the tone he’s chosen, and any shyness you might have felt flies out the door.
“And this is how you’re asking?”
His brow furrows deeper, offended. “How else am I supposed to ask?”
You scoff and turn your nose up at him, turning your head to glare off into the Undercroft. “Whatever. It’s not like there’s even a ring to throw your hat in. It’s you, idiot.”
Sebastian makes a confused noise, and you turn to look at him again. His arms had partially come uncrossed, a surprised look on his stupidly handsome face. “But…you told Leander you’re off the market.”
You roll your eyes. Unbelievable. “Yeah, for him and everyone else. You made sure of that a long time ago, whether you knew it or not.”
He stands there staring. ”So…you and Garreth…?”
“Oh my- Are just friends. He’s actually confessing to Poppy as we speak, which you so rudely interrupted when you decided to act like a barbarian.”
Sebastian strode up to you, ignoring your irate words, stopping half a step away. Towering over you, his eyes were wide with wonder, hope glimmering behind them. “So…I can have you? Am I- Am I allowed to?”
“For the love of-” You grab his tie and crash his lips into yours. You linger for only a moment before pulling back just enough to glare at him, still annoyed. “Get it together Sallow, you’re embarrassing me.”
You hear a sound coming from his chest, starting as a low hum, slowly building itself up to giddy giggles, before exploding into loud laughter.
“I fucking love you.” He grabbed your cheeks between his palms and yanked you into another kiss, struggling to wipe the grin off his face enough to do it properly.
He gathered you as close to his body as he could, frantically kissing everywhere he could reach. All you could really do was hang onto him as he lovingly attacked you. Eventually he returned to your lips, his kisses turning more passionate the longer you stayed together.
“You’re telling me *kiss* I could have *kiss* been kissing you-” He groaned as he kissed you again, pressing further and lingering longer. “-this whole time?”
He couldn’t stop long enough to let you answer his question properly, so you did the best you could. “Yeah, you’re mmff-*kiss* -fucking late.”
He chuckled, pulling away just enough to speak clearly.
“Guess I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”