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"You ready Soap?"
"Yes Captain. Gaz?"
"Ready when you are."
"Let's do this boys."
The three entered the kitchen, armed with rubber gloves and eye protection.
"Simon, please come down, I promise it's not that bad." Soap pleaded.
Ghost was currently perched on top of the base's fridge, tail lashing and any untamed hair fuzzed to a black cloud, hissing softly as Soap tried to reach for him.
"You can fuck right off MacTavish. I'm not going." He growled, taking a swipe at Soap's hand.
Soap wasn't quick enough to escape Ghost's reach, nails turned to sharp claws. Three shallow scratches appeared on the back of Soap's hand and he hissed in pain, pulling his hand back and examining the scratches, small pools of blood appearing on his downy hand.
"Ah ye bastard! Dinnae get yer claws out at me!" Soap scolded as he licked his hand clean.
"Simon! You're being very rude." Price said from the doorway, his own ears a mirror of Ghost's.
Ghost flipped him off.
"You're the ones that decided I needed a bloody bath!"
Price huffed and stepped towards the fridge, jerky in one hand and brush in the other.
"Be a good lad and come down, I promise it'll be quick." He pleaded as he shook the treats.
Simon's ears perked up a little and he looked like he would come down, but as Soap huffed he seemed to come to his senses and hissed at Price. Price sighed and put the treats away.
"Fine, you don't want to be clean then so be it." He said in defeat.
Ghost scoffed and his tail flicked.
"I'm perfectly clean thank you very much."
Soap rolled his eyes, swished his own tail and started to leave the kitchen.
"Licking yer balls once a week does nae make ye clean, Simon."
"Fuck off Johnny, I know what I need to do, unlike you dogs."
"You may think you do, but standards of cleanliness disagree." Price interjected. "But whatever, let's go Soap."
Soap huffed and followed Price out of the kitchen. As they walked into the hall Price gave Gaz a small nod. Gaz nodded back, and he and the bear of a man helped Soap up against the ceiling. Soap held himself up, an arm and a leg on each wall, sprawled out but holding.
"Better be quick lads, I can only hold this for so long."
Price and Gaz gave him a thumbs up and ducked around the corner. Price pulled out the mouthwatering meat packet and Gaz pulled out a small toy bell from his pocket. Together they rustled and jingled the two before stilling and listening, ears stood to attention, Gaz's tail twitching in anticipation to the pounding of feet as Ghost sprinted down the hallway.
"Fuck you MacTavish. Seriously fuck you."
"Ay! I'm not the one who rolls around in dust, Lieutenant."
Ghost sat cross legged in the large bathtub, arms crossed over his chest with Soap sat on the edge behind him.
"How the hell did you even get onto the ceiling anyway? You're a fucking monkey man, I swear." Ghost huffed.
Soap chuckled as he poured shampoo onto his hand.
"Gaz and Price helped me get up then physics did the rest, equal pressure on each limb plus claws holds pretty well." Soap explained. "'Sides, it does help that the Cap'n's able to tuck ye under an arm"
Ghost was about to reply but he was interrupted by Soap running his fingers through Ghost's hair. Ghost tipped his head back, a soft purr rumbled through his chest, as Soap lathered the shampoo into his hair.
"There ye are, see it wasnae that terrible." Soap hummed as he massaged Ghost's scalp.
Ghost only seemed to purr louder, his ears twitching from every movement Soap made. Soap smiled and ran a finger over Ghost's ear, feeling the soft fur beneath, and getting a dob of foam on the tips of the ears.
"Ach, ye almost look like a proper lynx, ye feral fiend!"
"Hah, I'm no more lynx than you are wolf, anyway! Although that was a dirty trick, landing straight on me. What if you'd broken my tail? Stupid dog, do you ever think things through before you follow an order?"
"Why does it always need tae be such a fight each time, eh? An the sky would burn afore tha furry rope of a tail gets broke, tho if ye need a cast they'd hear ye comin, an good luck to em."
Ghost snorted in reply, and stared morosely at the water. His sodden face stared back, Soap's entirely-too-dry ears peeking over his shoulder. In fact, most of this assailants were entirely too dry, and he was the only one soaked through in this flowery bath. The captain may be a rank too high to splash, and Gaz was slightly waterproof, but the retriever behind him was all-too-dunkable. Soap leaned over the side of the bath to get some conditioner, unaware of the growing anger in the cat before him. Perfect. Ghost shifted, and shook the foam off in preparation.
"Shh, be a good boy Simon, we're not done with the bath yet." Soap murmured at the sound, not paying attention. Sua culpa maxima.
Ghost stared, his pupils slits, breath hitching in anticipation as Soap busied himself in the conditioner bottle. As soon as Soap was unbalanced but over the bath, he pounced.
"Gah! Ye filthy thing! Ahm soaked! And ma hair!"
Ghost had pulled Soap into the bath, pinning Soap underneath himself, and completely dousing the other man in bathwater. He was entirely too pleased about the whole thing, and entirely unrepentant.
"Serves you right, and now you match your name! Sudsy Soap," he purred.
"Oh really? We'll see about tha!" Soap snarled back, and pulled Ghost's hands out from underneath him, flattening them both with Ghost on Soap's chest.
"You... bastard." Ghost wheezed, then hissed loudly as Soap dumped a cup of water over his head, washing out the remaining soap.
A good 20 minutes and a lot of swearing from all parties later, Soap had Ghost and himself wrapped up in towels, with another ruffling his hair dry as Ghost sat on his bed, sulking.
"Good boy, there ye go, all nice and clean."
Ghost scowled and grumbled. Soap flicked his ear and Ghost hissed back.
"Stop swearing at me, ye needed a bath and I gave it to ye."
"You tricked me, and got soap in my eye! I deserve to swear at you!"
Soap rolled his eyes and rubbed Ghost's freshly lavender ears again, shutting him right up.
"Aye, aye. Jest take a bath yerself before we have half the base complainin'. Blemmin kitty, showers exist fer a reason, ye ken.", Soap shot back.
Ghost huffed a sigh, and resumed picking his nails instead. He leaned back, resting his head on Soap's shoulder, bare skin on skin. Almost in spite of himself, he began to purr. They stayed like that for minute, the only other sound the gurgle of the bath plug.
"Look at ye, so soft I could sink my teeth into ye like a peach." Soap breathed over Ghost's other shoulder.
Ghost had a smug look on his face as he shook his hips a little, tail twitching in the air.
"Then why don't you Johnny. Take a bite, mark my arse, not that anyone else would see." He teased.
"Mebbe, but I wouldn't wanna share ye time with the others then" Soap said as he pulled on a pair of dry boxers.
Ghost looked at him, astonished. Soap laughed as he waved from the door, already leaving the room.
He walked a few paces before he heard Ghost's door slam open and a very pissed off looking Ghost came tearing out on all fours. Soap laughed loudly and sprinted off to his room. He already knew he was completely screwed but he would at least put up a fight before he got wrung dry in revenge so he ran for his life, laughing and squealing as Ghost pounced on him, dragging Soap by his blonde tail back to his room, Ghost's tail swishing angrily, ears flattened.
"You're such a bastard MacTavish." Ghost snarled.
"Maybe I am but I'm yer bastard." Soap hummed back sweetly.
Ghost huffed as he opened his door, half throwing Soap inside.
"That you are Puppy, now get back on that damn bed."
"Yes Kitty."
"Soap."
"Yes sir."