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Lord Vetinari sat on an old but expensive leather couch in one of the many rooms in the Ramkin-Vimes household. Sybil had left him in charge of the young Sam Vimes as one of the more naughty dragons had escaped. Sir Wilsbury the 5th, he believed. He held a cup of warm tea, interlocking his fingers around it on the particularly chilly day.
The young Sam found his attention being drawn to the tall thin man in the room as he held a stuffed swamp dragon in his hands. He walked over to him before asking a very blunt question in only a way a kid could, "Are you bad? 'Cause dad says you're 'bloody bastard' and mom tells him not to say that and I don't think you're bad 'cause you seem nice and dad always gets the bad guys and he hasn't gotten you so you're probably okay..."
Vetinari tilted his head slightly. "Many people think I am bad. I do things to uphold my reputation as Patrician and tyrant of Ankh-Morpork which can come across as bad. In the end, it is all for the city."
"Ty-rant. That means mean? But you're not very mean. Or scary."
"You're not afraid of me?"
"No. I mean, you have a really cool stick with a skull and stuff, and skulls are wicked! And you don't tell me off when I use bad words and you gave me a book for my birthday and you are my Uncle Havelock and mom trusts you so..."
"I am a trained assassin. Does that not scare you?"
"Well, dad doesn't like assassin's but my friend's brother is an assassin and he plays with me and even lets me have extra cookies even when I'm not supposed to!"
Vetinari had a hard time understanding the logic behind the statement. Or even arguing with it.
"So you like rule the city right? So you're like those music guys I saw at the big opera place who swing their little stick around t' make sure that all the music people play correctly and you adjust them and like guide them I guess? Like you guide the people in the city? "
"Conductor... Hmm. More complex then that, of course, but yes." Vetinari muses, trailing off. "Like a conductor. Ruling the city like a song. Hm."
"D' you like music? 'Cause I mean the opera was super boring when we went and I think dad fell asleep 'cause he never likes going out to the parties 'cause of the knobs or something... Don't know why he didn't like the door knobs 'cause there weren't that many doors... Ooh! Have you every tried cotton candy? 'Cause I did and then mom took it away saying I'd get too excited 'cause it had too much sugar and it was bad for my health but Anthony always has chocolate and candy and he never gets in trouble but his parents aren't really around very much and I think-"
Just then, he was cut off by Sybil returning with a plate of biscuits in hand. "I hope he wasn't talking your ear off too much, Havelock."
"It was fine. I quite enjoyed our little conversation," Havelock said as the little boy ran and hugged his mother, being scooped up into her arms.
"He can be quite the chatterbox, can't he? Anyways, how are you doing? I know planning the new school bill is keeping you busy but I do hope you are not overworking yourself. I wish you'd take more days off for yourself. You look exhausted, Havelock."
"The city never sleeps. The bill must be completed soon or everything will not be set up in time."
"I wish it were different. You need a break. I'm planning to keep Sam home next Octeday. You must join us."
"I'm afraid I'm going to be busy-"
"Don't worry, Havelock. I cleared your day with Drumknott."
"But the school bill-"
"Can wait, Havelock. Most people have Octeday of anyways."
"My job is different then most people, however."
"Yes, but you still need time off once in a while. It is one day and I don't want you to run yourself into the ground now."
"I don't get a choice, now do I?"
Sybil just smiled and offered him a biscuit. "Now, have a biscuit. I can't have you getting any thinner, Havelock."