Chapter Text
Kenma wonders if he must be lacking in imagination, because for all one-hundred-something of his ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ scenarios, none of them predicted the events of this day. Why couldn’t he have known this visit would leave him feeling so hurt? Maybe it’s the fact that the pain isn’t packaged in one neat scrape. Instead, offhand comments from both Kuro and his supposed friends, the kinds of things he’s hasn’t been bothered by since elementary school, throb like a thousand shallow cuts. The conversations between his best friend and strangers, full of people and places he doesn’t recognize, are fingers pressing on a bruise. Some of them use the name ‘Tetsurou,’ and Kenma wonders why his nickname for Kuro feels awkward and childish all of a sudden. Maybe it has to do with how many of these strangers cooed at him, saying how cute it was that he was still in high school, forgetting that Kenma only has three months till graduation.
‘Only three months.’ It used to feel so short. One year has never felt like much between him and Kuro. Kenma’s always thought that joining Kuro at college would be just like the transition from elementary to middle school, middle school to high school. One year alone, and then back to normal. But something about this year has been different. Kuro seems to be changing exponentially, his world expanding even faster. He realizes he’s been thinking of Kuro as some sort of support character, someone to give him buffs and helpful quest hints along the way. But after today, Kenma feels like nothing but a mascot, a silly little NPC that some find endearing, but others find juvenile.
The final blow is seeing Kuro sleep in the arms of someone else. This wasn’t in the tutorial. It’s not like Kuro had ever fallen asleep in Kenma’s own arms– or maybe it stings so badly because he had never done so. And this ‘someone’ isn’t even Kuro’s boyfriend, just a friend from some honors society. Yet, as they lay on Kuro’s absent roommate’s bed, he has Kuro tucked up against him, Kuro’s back to his chest, Kuro’s head neatly under his chin. Was Kuro always the type to cuddle with his friends? Kenma can recall times when Kuro was physically affectionate, but never like this, in bed and looking so intimate. But the way he interacted with this friend was the same as Kuro interacts with any other friend. He believes Kuro told the truth about their relationship. What puzzles Kenma the most, what keeps him from sleep tonight is the question, “Could I have had this? Could I have had Kuro close to me like this all along, even as a friend?” Kenma wonders this as he watches this scene alone from Kuro’s bed, alone. He can’t even say whether this bed smells like him. He’s been away too long to know.
keiji
how do you do it?
2:34am
Hm?
Everything all right?
2:35am
idk
not really
im visiting kuro like i told u.
i feel like it made me feel worse. do u miss bokuto?
does it … hurt rly bad.
2:37am
It does.
It really does.
I think we need to meet up soon.
2:39am
:( keiji i hate feeling like this
i think so too
can u keep texting till u fall asleep pls
2:40am
Of course.
So I started playing Finding Paradise yesterday.
2:40am
omg!! what part did u get to??
2:41am