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Akito laid, half-asleep in the sheets, eyes scanning the ceiling for nothing as he tapped his foot to a nonexistent beat. He ran his hand through his hair unconsciously and scooted closer inwards, towards the teen next to him. The bed was pretty small for two people, and Akito has fallen off more than once, but they made it work. Akito finds himself just staring at the blonde and his closed eyes. He was actually pretty cute even sleeping… The sound of his breathing lulled Akito to sleep, and—
Tsukasa started stirring in his sleep. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth fell open just a tad. Akito blinked, dazed, and continued staring at him. Tsukasa said something, whispered, but Akito couldn’t hear it. He kept on stirring, mumbling, and Akito’s heart rate began to quicken.
“Don’t go,” Akito heard. Tsukasa said it again, and again, and Akito knew for a fact now that this was a nightmare. He quickly sat up and shook Tsukasa, attempting to wake the boy. “Don’t leave—“ Tsukasa says, and he lets out a strangled whine. Akito watches in horror as tears start streaming down the other’s cheeks.
“Wake up, wake up—“ Akito tries, panicking. His breath is hot and heavy, as he puts a hand on Tsukasa’s face. His hand is wet, but there are more important matters. “Wake up, wake up, Tsukasa, wake up—!”
Tsukasa’s eyes snap open, and he lies there. He freezes in shock, as his mind catches up with what happened. He sees Akito above him, barely illuminated by the faint light emitted by glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. He inhales, suddenly, shakily, and brings a hand to his cheek, where Akito’s hand lays softly. And he starts sobbing. Once he starts he can’t stop, and he leans into Akito’s hand, into his touch. He tries telling the ginger that he’s sorry, he’s so sorry, but it comes out as a choke on his own tears, and his cries get more intense.
Akito only shushes him tenderly, his other hand brushing Tsukasa’s hair out of his face. Tsukasa can’t help but just lay there, pathetically, and sob. He wails, weeps, shudders, and the sight just breaks Akito’s heart. Akito stares at him delicately and begins crying too. It came out of nowhere, and he finds himself settling down next to the blonde and staring in his eyes. Tsukasa has calmed down by now, still vibrating and sniffling every now and then, his shoulders raising whenever he thinks of his nightmare. Akito just frowns, feeling his tears hit the pillow under him. He’s not in the mood to clean his face up.
Tsukasa opens his mouth to apologize, but Akito knew what he was going to say and shushed him, instead taking his hand and bringing it to his lips. Akito kisses his hand, then holds it tight. Things go unsaid. The words in Akito’s mind reach Tsukasa’s, and the blonde cries his heart out.
“Kiss me,” Tsukasa says once his system has had enough. Akito didn’t need to be told another time and put one of his hands on the back of Tsukasa’s head, the other on his chest. He brings the blonde close, locks their lips together, and moves freely. It’s a little awkward here, laying down on wet pillows, but neither of them mind. Neither of them even noticed at the time. Tsukasa loses himself in the moment, and brings his tongue into the mess of things, getting ever closer to the ginger. He needs more, more, more; his hands travel Akito’s face, his chest, his arms, no lower than that. Akito takes it, letting Tsukasa immerse himself entirely in the kiss.
Neither boy lets go, they hold each other there for too long, their breaths hot and melted into each other, and Akito finds himself overwhelmed with the passion. He starts crying again, tears falling down as he struggles to get even closer to Tsukasa. Their bodies are twisted on each other, and Tsukasa locks their fingers together. They don’t stop, can’t stop, and stay within this bubble of time for what feels like infinity.
Akito chokes up and gives Tsukasa one final tug before regrettably forcing himself off the boy and knocking himself onto the other with a hefty hug. He nestles himself onto Tsukasa’s crook between his neck and shoulder and kisses him lightly. Tsukasa’s hand travels to the back of Akito’s head and tugs on the hair there.
“You can bite,” Tsukasa breathes out, and Akito’s mouth hitches. Akito jerks Tsukasa’s head up softly and starts kissing his jawline, nibbles his ear too. Akito was never one to bite, not like Tsukasa, who was surprisingly a biter. Tsukasa soon realizes this and tugs Akito’s hair back again, and Akito goes back a bit, enough for them to lock eyes. Tsukasa sniffles, his eyes now dry and cheeks only faintly wet with tears, not drenched like before. Akito nods at him, knowing what he was thinking, and Tsukasa leans in assertively yet nimbly, attacks Akito’s neck with a lovely force, and Akito can’t help but groan at the attention.
Tsukasa kisses everywhere, sloppily, searching briefly, before giving more notice to one particular spot. There, Tsukasa bites gently, with enough force to make a mark but not enough to hurt the boy next to him, who sighs endearingly. Akito cusses silently and puts his hand on Tsukasa’s head, who hums in acknowledgment. Tsukasa, for now, decides he’s done and raises above Akito, who sits dangerously close to the edge of the bed. Tsukasa brings him in closer with a huff, and afterward just stares at him. Then, he remembers why they started, and frowns, going back down next to Akito.
“I had a nightmare,” Tsukasa begins explaining. He stated the obvious, sure, but Akito listens intently anyway. Laying closer to Tsukasa, who stays still on his back, Akito grabs the blonde’s hand and grips it tightly, never letting go. “I think it started with my troupe. We’ll have to leave each other one day. I know that, I fully expect that, but…” Tsukasa looks to Akito, who tacitly, solemnly, encourages him to continue. “It still hurts. It still hurts. It just hurts to think that, one day, we’ll separate. And maybe we’ll never see each other again. It fucking hurts.”
Akito doesn’t say anything, just rubs circles on Tsukasa’s hand with his thumb. Tsukasa takes a deep inhale and shudders, “And then mom. And dad. How they always left me at a young age. I know they don’t want to, they never meant to, but again, it just…”
“Hurts?” Akito offers, and Tsukasa nods his head and goes ‘mm-hmm,’ with sadness lacing his voice. Akito breaks at that, and pulls him in for another hug, eliciting a shocked sigh from him.
“I won’t leave you,” Akito says, bringing him in closer. “I won’t ever leave you, you won’t have to suffer alone, okay?”
Tsukasa takes too long to answer, and Akito shuffles them around so that they’re both sitting upright. Akito takes Tsukasa’s sad face into his hands and props his forehead onto Tsukasa’s. “I love you, okay? Okay? I love you.” Tsukasa’s frown wobbles and grits his teeth as Akito insists, “I fucking love you. I love you. I love you.” Tsukasa envelops Akito in a hug, a tight, everlasting hug.
“You’re so good to me,” Tsukasa whispers into Akito’s ear, and kisses his neck more, returning back to the bite mark. “So, so, good…” Tsukasa trails off, giving another bite next to the previous one. This one was harder, more feverish, emotional, ardent, and Akito can’t help but smile. This dummy, he thinks as he feels the bottom of his shirt being raised, so fucking emotional. No spite was in his thoughts, in fact, the opposite, as they were washed over with the feeling of Tsukasa’s hands on his bare waist.
“Nothing more,” Tsukasa promises, as he lifts the whole shirt off of both Akito and himself. He pushes Akito down onto the sheets and admires him for a while. It’s not like they do anything else. Neither of them are comfortable with doing more than making out and curious touches above the belt. As Akito is in love with Tsukasa’s back, Tsukasa is enamored with Akito’s front. Akito gets shudders easily, embarrassed even more so, but allows Tsukasa to continue. They trust each other enough to stop when they say so.
Akito closes his eyes and feels Tsukasa kiss every part of him, cherishing him, thanking him. He gasps when Tsukasa nibbles on the lower side of his stomach. Nothing more rings in his head, and he trusts Tsukasa to keep his word, but he is getting awfully close to the unknown. Tsukasa knows he’s taking a risk, staying here for longer than need be, but when he looks up at Akito, he’s greeted by a look he’s never seen before. Something akin to lust—innocent lust, a type fed off of passion instead; of pure love and enjoyment. Nothing more, Tsukasa reminds himself, and brings himself back to reality. He gives one good last lick in the area, then goes back to Akito’s lips, tugging and pulling on them.
It was Akito’s turn. Tsukasa pulls them both upright and turns around with Akito’s touch. Akito takes in the sight of Tsukasa’s back, something he hasn’t seen in, unfortunately, too long. Tsukasa shivers, now realizing the temperature, but Akito is quick to fix that, hugging him tightly. He grins into the back of Tsukasa’s neck and starts planting kisses on him. Despite not being able to see him, Akito knows he’s smiling too. Akito can’t stop grinning, cheeks red with excitement as he wraps his arms around Tsukasa’s body. Tsukasa merely giggles softly and feels Akito kiss his shoulder blades and spine. Akito does that for a while, smirking to himself when he earns a light gasp from Tsukasa.
Tsukasa assumes he’s done when he lays his forehead on his back and his arms don’t move as much anymore. Tsukasa sighs and brings his hand through Akito’s hair. “Too good,” he mumbles, hearing Akito perk up at that.
“Nah,” Akito hums, smooching more of Tsukasa’s back, “I’m just giving you what you deserve.” Tsukasa beams at that and lets himself lay down on top of Akito. His arm wraps around Akito’s head as he has his hand above him, fingers curling through thick, orange hair. Akito closes his eyes, gently gliding his hands over Tsukasa’s chest, which makes him snicker. “And you deserve the world,” Akito concludes, kissing the arm that encases him.
Tsukasa, the boy so loud, so fond of yelling, so joyous, falls silent and looks at Akito with wide, wide eyes. An amiable orange, warmth like the sun, looking up at Akito, devouring him in comfort. Just for him, Akito thinks, these eyes are just for him. Akito’s thoughts are clouded by love, and he kisses Tsukasa on the lips once more. When they separate, Tsukasa simply stares at him. The thoughts that once raced in his mind are now long gone, replaced with one thing, one person.
“I love you,” Akito says first, unconsciously, the first exertion he could even think of.
“I love you,” Tsukasa replies quickly, as if taking too long will shatter the tender moment. He laughs out loud when Akito dove in for another kiss, and another, and another, and Tsukasa forgot completely how this even started, instead swallowed whole by sheer love for the boy beside him.
And by the time they’re done?
Tsukasa truly believes being alone is not an option anymore.