Chapter Text
“You know, I'm doing you a favor, if you think about it. That black pearl necklace is really not your style, and it would wash you out horribly.”
“Mn.”
“Is that all you have to say, while I'm tying you up?”
Lan Zhan wore her most supportive bra and a wrap-style dress for a reason. She's clocked the Yiling 'Patriarch' eyeing her (vast) cleavage four times in the past two minutes, since she was “surprised” by the break in. That's a 25% increase over the dudou-inspired top she wore last time. Clearly, more is more in these situations.
“The pearls will look fantastic on you. Paired with a royal blue velvet suit? There's one in your size in the closet down the hall.” The thief completes the knots on her wrists, and bends at the waist to reach Lan Zhan's ankles. Yum.
“I already have a lotus silk dress to pair with it, in a lovely carmine ombré. You won't trick me so easily.”
Red. Lan Zhan salivates slightly. “Of course, I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” The blue velvet would be a good morning-after look, if she can ever convince Yiling to stay over for breakfast. Skinny obviously works for her professional build, good for squeezing through grates and the like, but Lan Zhan wants to feed her egg tarts until those prominent wrist bones disappear.
“Right, the laser grids and pressure panels in the vents really make that clear.”
“I installed them just for you.”
“How sweet, you think of me when you're at home.”
This date is going so well. Lan Zhan preens. “Mn.” If the thief gets bored, she might go rob someone else. Unacceptable. Lan Zhan plans for these meetings with obsessive focus. Keeping the spark alive in a relationship requires meticulous attention to detail. Only the best for her girlfriend.
Unfortunately, Yiling completes the final knot and pops upright. “You be a good girl and stay riiiight there!”
Anything to keep her thief coming back. Yiling makes it through the upgraded tumbler lock and the keypad in record time. Lan Zhan wonders if a bio-metric hand scanner would make Yiling hold her hand next time... Something to consider.
The pearl necklace rests in a glass case, protected by a pressure sensor. This is the first time Lan Zhan has used any chemicals in the vault security, but the call to the security company was not encrypted, and the installation was done in consultation with building maintenance. Does Yiling not know? She has no air filtration mask or other protection. Lan Zhan squirms in her restraints, wonders if she should say something. Maybe Yiling plans to hold her breath?
Yiling carefully cuts a hole in the glass, but apparently does not realize the pressure sensor is based on the weight of the entire display, not just the necklace. The displacement easily triggers the sensor. As she removes the glass cut-out, a puff of highly-concentrated sleeping gas releases directly in her face.
Yiling's eyes go wide, just briefly, before they close and she drops to the ground, unconscious.
Lan Zhan knew that eventually she would get lucky and catch Yiling, but just now, with her girlfriend unconscious one full room away, Lan Zhan panics quietly. Security will buzz her in ten minutes, and will come up the stairs and release her within five minutes after she does not answer. She comes up with over 58 horrible scenarios before then, each ending with never seeing Yiling again. Yiling clearly did not know about the sleeping gas. Lan Zhan just drugged her girlfriend.
The security personnel are professional and follow orders almost without question.
“Are you sure you don't want us to inform the authorities?”
“No. Please leave.”
Lan Zhan is finally alone with Yiling and unrestrained. She carefully checks her vitals. The dose was calculated exactly based on Yiling's physical characteristics. There are no adverse side effects.
Now, with her thief captured unexpectedly, Lan Zhan hesitates over what to do. This was not in her plans. But if Yiling can adapt to trip wires and heat sensors, Lan Zhan can overcome an unfortunate miscalculation.
Leaving Yiling on the floor is unacceptable. She will develop muscle aches. Moving her to Lan Zhan's own bed... Too forward. The guest room, then.
Lan Zhan throws one of Yiling's arms over her shoulder and shimmies down the hall to the guest room. Yiling's heels drag as they move, but Lan Zhan carefully ensures she doesn't hit anything on the way.
Lan Zhan takes her shoes off before pulling down the covers – would taking off her gloves and utility belt be too much? Her hips protrude visibly. If Lan Zhan laid on top of Yiling, she would completely envelop her in soft curves... Not the right time. Water, painkillers, an arrangement of ginger candies and fresh fruit.
As she carefully cuts the honeydew into artistic shapes, Lan Zhan asks herself: What is an appropriate apology gift for accidentally drugging the love of your life?
The drug wears off within 40 minutes, well within the expected time-frame. Lan Zhan carefully prepares a tea cup for Yiling, as she twitches and startles upright.
“When did you add knock-out gas to the display?” Yiling mutters drowsily.
Lan Zhan slowly moves towards her with the tea – she doesn't want to make the thief panic, since she's already waking up in a somewhat unfamiliar place. “Two days ago. And I deeply apologize, please let me know if there is anything you require for me to make amends.” Lan Zhan bows, formal and contrite.
“You surprised me, jiejie. Did you carry me around like a sack of potatoes, then?” Yiling narrows her eyes but sniffs the tea and accepts it. Fair. Lan Zhan did just drug her, however unintentionally.
“You are in the guest room of my suite.” Lan Zhan fights the urge to fidget in distress. She watches Yiling sip her tea, and wonders if she chose correctly. A sweet jasmine would have been better, probably.
“Am I a guest, then?” She lounges back against the pillows dramatically, barely avoiding spilling her cup.
“More than a guest.”
“An annoyance?”
“A delight.”
Yiling's head tilts as she studies Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan checks that her posture is open and inviting.
“Yiling...” Lan Zhan pauses as the thief snickers. “If that makes you uncomfortable, I could call you something else. I did not pry, I know you have a reason for your boundaries.” Just because Lan Zhan does not know the correct name, does not mean she isn't devoted.
“My sister was so offended when the cops started calling me the 'Yiling Patriarch.' I think it's hilarious.” The thief grins, mean and sharp, before transitioning to an exaggerated pout. “Call me Ying'er?”
Lan Zhan's soul leaves her body. Her ears flame hotter than the surface of the sun. “Ying'er...” So shameless! And her girlfriend shivers when she says it. So she says it again, voice barely above a whisper. “Ying'er, please tell me what I can do to make you feel better.”
The thief squeaks, and buries her face behind the teacup. Her cheeks flush brightly, even in the dim lighting. There aren't enough treasures to repay her for the gift of her name.
The thief then puts the cup down and flops dramatically on the bed. “Lan Zhan! I changed my mind, you can't call me that. Not when you say it like that.”
“Like what?” This is one gift Lan Zhan will never allow Ying'er to take back. It is too precious.
“Sweetly. Like you like me.” Ying'er looks at her from the side, like she can't fully face Lan Zhan's regard.
“I like you.” Ridiculous that it's even in question. After all these dates?
“How can you be so sincere? Lan Zhan, you don't even know me.”
Somehow, her darling Ying'er found something even more ridiculous to say. “I know all of you that you will let me know. I like you.”
Ying'er curls in on herself, faintly shrieking. Lan Zhan gathers her courage, and sits at the very edge of the bed. She lightly pats the top of her girlfriend's head to soothe her. Ying'er is sometimes dramatic and silly. It only makes Lan Zhan fonder. “Ying'er is clever. She has excellent taste. She is diligent and takes care to never hurt anyone. I like my girlfriend very much.”
“This time I wasn't clever or diligent enough, you got me with the gas.” She sounds truly miserable.
“I will replace the display case, and Ying'er will succeed next time.”
“Now it's not a surprise, though.”
“Mn. Ying'er could bring the red dress next time. And stay for breakfast.”
After Wen Qing chews her out for being reckless and getting caught, completing a brief but thorough medical exam at the same time, she asks for a debrief of the night. And starts smirking. And smirking transforms into evil laughter – so rude! In Wei Ying's time of greatest need!
Who else would be able to figure out what went wrong? or right? last night? Wen Ning (the greatest person to ever exist) watched the security footage all night and made sure nothing happened after Wei Ying entered the building. Not a single remark on her rappel of shame down the building this morning.
“She thinks we've been dating this whole time! It was the most awkward conversation of my life. I told her I would stay for breakfast... Stop laughing! I told her I would stay for breakfast once I completed the heist.” Wei Ying can't raise her head, the shame and embarrassment permanently rendering her cheeks pink. Wei Ying wonders if the drug Lan Zhan used causes delusions and hallucinations. Did she hit her head when she passed out? Maybe she completely imagined Lan Zhan moping when she left.
“You've been obsessed with her... considerable assets... for months now.”
“Don't say it like that!”
Wen Qing ignores her, “She didn't turn you over to the cops. It's a good thing that she considers you close?”
“I can hear that you're still laughing at me. You're my least favorite Wen. This is cruel, Wei Ying is only three years old!”
Wen Qing snorts, “Save that for your sugar momma. Actually, please never tell me if that's something you two are into.”
“Wen Qiiiiiinnnngggg, you're supposed to help me and tell me how to let her down gently!”
“No, that is literally not what I'm supposed to do, ewww. Please keep your relationship drama out of my office.” The look of disgust on her face is priceless.
“But now I can't steal from her anymore! That necklace is worth at least 350k! Three strands of natural black pearls, perfectly round and matched for color, luster, and size.”
“So steal it and stay for breakfast. Maybe she'll find your virginal awkwardness cute.” Wen Qing goes back to her computer, bored with the romantic details.
“She won't like me anymore if she has to deal with me during the day. Or when I come home bruised, and when she can't tell her friends or family about me. She's the darling of the media and the design world.” Perfect Lan Zhan with her ridiculous curves, impeccable taste, and deadly one-liners.
(Wei Ying saved and repeatedly re-watched one of the few clips of Lan Zhan in public before the first heist – some random asshole telling her she didn't meet the feminine ideal because she was too “round.” Lan Zhan eviscerated him – verbally. Wei Ying shudders when she remembers the look Lan Zhan leveled as she said, “You are not qualified to speak to me.” Anyone would break out in goose bumps from that look.)
Wen Qing slowly turns back around to look at Wei Ying. Uh-oh. “Wei Ying, are you devaluing yourself in my office again? Do I need to bring out my needles? Idiots who do not appreciate themselves get needles, the rules are very clear.”
“No, no, stay back!” Wei Ying trips herself off the exam table and into the corner of the office to protect her feeble flesh from the monster in front of her. “I know that I am deserving of love, and worthy of good things, even things I don't steal for myself. No needles, you sadist!”
“Well, your girlfriend is waiting for you in Gusu. Maybe you should steal something better than just some oyster spit.”
Wei Ying scrunches her nose. “Gross. Also, don't say that when you meet her.”
“Yeah, I'll find some better way to question her taste in jewelry and lovers before then.” Wen Qing is already back at her computer checking on another patient remotely.
“Wait, Qing-jie, when did you know I liked her?” Wei Ying puzzles over the complete lack of surprise from either of her stolen family members.
The look Wen Qing gives her makes her hide with a squeak. “When you decided you absolutely needed to personally gloat by stealing her things directly in front of her. Like a cat showing off it's hunting skills against a feather duster.” Rude!
“That was a completely platonic rivalry!” How dare Wen Qing dismiss her petty need for validation!
“You just wanted a pretty girl to see you being cunning and flexible. How do you think she knew you were gagging for it?”
Wei Ying pouts out the door. No one appreciates her. Maybe a few hundred thousand in pearls will make her feel better.
Wei Ying takes nothing for granted as she zip-lines across to the roof of Lan Zhan's building. She's skipping the vents entirely this time, and rappelling down to disarm the window alarms instead. The window alarms would be superfluous on the 25th floor of any building, if Lan Zhan didn't tempt a very nimble thief.
The vents are more subtle and less risky, but the window is quicker – and it's been over 20 hours since Wei Ying saw her Lan Zhan. She feels bad about forcing the physical lock, after she overloaded Lan Zhan's network and caused a minor re-boot that let her get past the exterior alarms without tripping them. It will have to be replaced in the next few days, but there was no way to access the latch from the outside.
Lan Zhan's phone was used to access the elevator 2 hours ago, and has been active on her home wifi for the rest of the time. She's home, but Wei Ying doesn't see her in the living room.
It takes Wei Ying another two seconds to realize she hears the shower running. Her mind immediately produces a picture perfect rendition of Lan Zhan naked, wet with soap suds glistening as they slide down her immaculate body. Wei Ying has been privileged enough over the past six months to see her various dimples – on her elbows, her knees, her lower back just above her plush rear. Wei Ying wanted to lick them, almost as much as she wanted to bury her face in Lan Zhans' soft, pillow-y tits. She could live there, and die happy.
Wei Ying will not be a creep. She will not go down the hall to Lan Zhan's bedroom. She sternly tells herself she is better than that.
But also, if Lan Zhan is in the shower... Wei Ying could steal the pearls, change into her dress, and be lounging on Lan Zhan's couch by the time she gets done. Wearing Lan Zhan's jewelry, making herself at home in Lan Zhan's home... Like she belongs here.
Knowing Lan Zhan is naked in the same building is a huge distraction. Wei Ying almost fumbles the vault tumbler, but she's a professional. The keypad override still works without issue. With the vault open, she double checks for any additional security measures, and notes that Lan Zhan has activated the laser grid again.
Now she's almost sad she didn't wait for her to be done with the shower, the lasers really let her show off – Wei Ying puts on her goggles so she can see the lasers, flips and twists through the grid easily. She quickly makes an incision in the wall where the pressure sensors connect to the security grid, and loops them to disable the entire mechanism.
Another quick flip, and she's at the display, which now houses a new, larger jewelry box. She lifts it out, and tucks it into her fitted backpack. Two more careful shimmies and a split, and she's back out of the vault, closing the door and re-setting the locks.
The shower has just turned off. The whole theft took less than 6 minutes, despite the distraction.
Wei Ying quickly pulls open her pack, removes the jewelry box, checks that her lotus silk is still cushioned by multiple layers of tissue paper to prevent wrinkles, and efficiently strips to change into her date-night outfit. The dress is short and light, the shoes are ballet style for comfort. Her work clothes get shoved into the bag and dropped by the window.
She opens the jewelry case – and in addition to the pearls, semi-transparent black jade bangles have been added along with delicately carved obsidian earrings. Well, apparently Lan Zhan wants her to look decadent and classy.
Wei Ying just finished pulling down her hair and is still finger-combing it using the window as a mirror when the bedroom door opens. She quickly slinks to the couch, making sure her legs and jewelry are advantageously displayed. “Darling, I'm home! How was your day?” She shamelessly calls into the suite.
After a brief pause where neither of them even breathes, Lan Zhan quickly steps around the corner. Her blue and white cashmere dress looks very soft, and clings nicely over her hips. She appraises Wei Ying with her usual serious expression, but appears lightly flushed.
“Ying'er...” At first she doesn't seem to have any other words available. “You look lovely. The pearls are perfect on you.”
“Jiejie spoils me.” Wei Ying pouts, “I'm sorry you missed the athletic display, I just wanted to be ready for our date night early this time.” Lan Zhan looks so pretty – she clearly had her hair in curlers protected from the water, since it flows in gentle waves around her shoulders.
“I booked a private table. Give me a moment to get ready?”
“Lan Zhan is abandoning me? After a whole day apart? Maybe jiejie should help me finish getting ready, too – or everyone will think my wild hair was caused by something more interesting than the wind.”
Lan Zhan's fingers twitch. “Mn.” Words seem to have left her again.
Wei Ying rolls to her feet, watching Lan Zhan from under her lashes. She slides against her gently before continuing down the hall to her bedroom. The light from the bathroom illuminates the rest of the bedroom in contrast, but Wei Ying keeps moving before she can loose her nerve.
Lan Zhan comes in a moment later, with a small stool that she places in front of the floor length mirror. Wei Ying perches on the stool and watches Lan Zhan in the mirror as she collects a comb and some hair oil.
The process of Lan Zhan combing, braiding and smoothing her hair leaves Wei Ying breathless, and not entirely sure she can move. Her nipples are so hard they're visible through her dress. A small french braid pulls the hair back from either side of her face. The ends of her hair are teased into a a slight flip out.
Lan Zhan takes out a small pot of lip gloss, and dots some on Wei Ying's upper and lower lips. Wei Ying is very good and does not nip at her fingertips.
For her own hair, Lan Zhan only uses a clip to tuck the waves of her hair over her left shoulder, so the undercut on her right is fully exposed. She uses a small amount of the same gloss on her own lips, and pulls a necklace and earrings out of a drawer. The earrings she hooks in quickly. But the necklace she turns around and offers to Wei Ying.
“Help me put this on?” A star fall of light blue gems shimmer from silver chains. Lan Zhan turns around to face the mirror when Wei Ying unclasps the necklace. Lan Zhan carefully lifts her hair out of the way.
Wei Ying breathes through the lightheadedness. She gently lays the gems along Lan Zhan's collarbones, and latches the clasp behind her neck. Her eyes go back to the mirror – mesmerized, watching herself run her fingers under the necklace, arranging the gems over Lan Zhan's chest. Pulling her hands away feels like fighting one of the natural laws of the universe – her hands should always be on Lan Zhans tits, nothing could be more true. Lan Zhan meets her eyes in the mirror, dark and ravenous. Wei Ying takes two unsteady steps back. Lan Zhan's eyes track her.
Wei Ying's stomach audibly rumbles, breaking the moment. Lan Zhan lets out a slightly unsteady breath. “Thank you, Ying'er. The restaurant is two blocks away, we can walk.”
Wei Ying wants to whine, but Lan Zhan deserves better than a quick fuck in the bathroom. She can make it through dinner.
Wei Ying is dying. The private room only included a small, curved booth meant for two people, with a view overlooking an atrium. There is room for them to sit several inches apart, but Lan Zhan placed her hand on Wei Ying's knee to keep her from moving away when they sat down.
“...There was a lot of agility training on the mountain, my adoptive grandmother was too old to keep up with children anymore, but she would send us out to get groceries and for school, and it was quicker to go across the ravine than take the road into town...” Wei Ying has no idea what she's saying. Her mouth is on auto-pilot, brain fully engaged below the table cloth. She squirms slightly, and Lan Zhan holds her leg in place. Wei Ying doesn't quite stifle the whimper that breaks free.
Every time Wei Ying refills her teacup, Lan Zhan squeezes her thigh slightly in thanks. Every time Wei Ying looks over to respond to Lan Zhan, her cleavage is right there. Lan Zhan eats elegantly with her left hand, so her right can continue to torment Wei Ying. Once, when Wei Ying stopped eating, Lan Zhan plucked some tofu out of her own bowl and held it up for Wei Ying to eat. Wei Ying honestly can't take much more, the sparks under her skin consume every part of her attention that isn't focused on Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan wakes up at her usual time the next morning, despite the late night. Wei Ying is sprawled across her chest, one hand curling around Lan Zhan's breast. Several love bites are visible on Wei Ying's throat above the pearls that neither of them wanted to remove last night. Deep, smug satisfaction builds as she lays there enjoying a perfect morning. This is exactly where they are both supposed to be.
Eventually, she extracts herself from the complete wreckage of blankets and pillows. She promised Wei Ying breakfast, but after dinner last night she knows that her pantry is not equipped to satisfy her girlfriend. She quickly searches for the most highly rated hot sauces at local grocery stores, and gets dressed. She leaves a quick note on the night stand next to the earrings and bangles Wei Ying stole.
Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan her real name and her phone number last night, when they finally took a break for dessert. She was cutely embarrassed that Lan Zhan had no way to set up their next date, other than to publicly buy another expensive piece of art and wait for the resulting break-in.
Lan Zhan is still going to get the bio-metric hand scanner installed on the vault and buy another Zhang Kunyi painting – it's two weeks until their 6 month anniversary after all. They need to celebrate.