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It was a calm morning. Lambert had enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his walk to the cafe he owned with Aiden. The man in question was yelling at their poor coffee machine as Lambert entered.
“Come on, you stupid…argh! Why won’t you work for me?”
Lambert cackled as he stepped closer. “Aiden, Aiden, Aiden, you never learn. You need to speak to her more gently, then she won’t be a bitch to you. I never have a problem with her.”
Aiden just stuck out his tongue at him. He tinkered some more with the machine, but she just huffed and puffed and then went silent.
“Woooork, pleeeeease, I need to make money with you.” But the machine stayed silent.
Aiden dramatically flopped over the counter.
“Look at her, she is mocking me.” Aiden glared up from between his arms at the very innocent looking coffee machine. Lambert just huffed and pushed Aiden to the side.
“She wouldn’t, she is a beautiful angel, aren’t you?” Lambert cooed at her. “Look, you just need some kind words, click here, then here aaaaaand…”
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing was happening.
Aiden howled with laughter, spluttering words that Lambert couldn’t understand. Traitor, Lambert thought. He tried the same thing again. Still nothing.
“Well, sometimes you just need to restart her, you should know best that it takes some people more time to wake up,” he grumbled. Just yesterday it had taken him 20 minutes to throw Aiden out of bed.
Lambert restarted the machine, Aiden next to him still smiling way too cheerfully. Lambert boxed him in the side.
“Hey!” Aiden yelled while shoving back, which promptly turned into a little wrestling match. The machine just made some happy little crackling noises. Nothing could ruffle her feathers.
“Ass,” Lambert grumbled when he managed to pin Aiden to the ground, eyes twinkling with mirth.
“You started it!”
“Whatever,” he said, standing up with a groan. “Let's see if we managed to wake up our lovely lady.
Aiden sprung up with an elegant twist and threw himself over Lambert's shoulders. “Oh fair maiden, please take pity on us lowly peasants and bless us with your delicious coffee.”
Lambert rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his smile. “You are ridiculous.”
“Hey, you said I should be nicer to her!”
Lambert listened with half an ear to Aiden complaining about how he was such a hypocrite, clicked a few buttons…and again, nothing. Their machine stayed silent. Lambert would never say so out loud, but he started to agree that she might be mocking them.
In defeat Aiden put his head on Lambert’s shoulder. “Maybe we should call in Eskel? He helped us with setting up the wifi.”
“The fuck we will! He will never let us live that down if we can’t even manage to get a simple coffee machine to work!”
So they started again. Cursed some more. Got the manual out. Cursed even more. Started threatening her. Sweet talked to her. Begged her.
But still. Fucking. Nothing.
The coffee machine just sat there, utterly silent and content to make them suffer.
Suddenly the front door opened and in stepped Eskel. He was carrying a huge box that smelled heavenly of freshly baked goods.
“Morning guys, I just finished baking the pastries for the morning and we got a lull at the bakery, so I thought I’d pop by and trade some sweets against a cup of coffee?”
Eskel grinned at the men behind the counter. Lambert looked over at Aiden’s equally defeated expression. They didn’t want to admit that they couldn’t make the coffee machine work, but neither of them could ever turn Eskel away. That would be like kicking puppies.
“If it is inconvenient, I can come back later? I did not want to bother you.”
Lambert panicked at the sad notes in Eskel’s voice. “No! No, you could never be a bother. It’s just that…that…'' Helplessly he turned to Aiden, but he had flopped over the counter again. Lambert looked back at Eskel, who just looked so lost in the door that he couldn’t help himself and just blurted out the truth.
“We really want to have you here, but you see the coffee machine is broken…”
“Lambert!!” came the angry hiss from below.
“...and we don’t know how to fix her. She is being really difficult this morning.”
A sly grin spread across Eskel’s face. “Broken you say? How could this lovely bringer of heavenly goodness be broken, let me see.”
Aiden groaned and mumbled into his arms. “Not Eskel too, now I have two of you idiots who think a machine can be sweet talked into working.”
Still he righted himself to look at what Eskel planned to do. Eskel pulled a pastry out of the box and put it on top of the machine.
“For you my darling. I know these two dumbasses don’t appreciate you like I do, but would you please let me have some coffee? I will bring you a pastry each morning.”
Lambert and Aiden both held their breath as Eskel reached out to press the exact same buttons as they had previously and finally, with a glorious rumble, the machine came to life.
Delicious coffee flavour filled the air as liquid black gold poured into the cup below.
Cheering rang through the little cafe. Lambert and Aiden couldn’t contain their joy. Eskel found himself suddenly with an armful of Aiden who was pressing kisses all over his cheeks.
“Thank you so much,”Aiden cried, still wrapped around Eskel. “I will never doubt your coffee machine whisperer abilities ever again!”
Lambert grinned and bumped Eskel lightly in the shoulder.
“I hope you are prepared to come now every single morning to bring madam here her pastries. You promised her. I will not let a pastry-bribing scoundrel like you break her heart, she is still my baby.
“Even if she apparently doesn’t love me anymore,” he added with a glare in the direction of the coffee machine, who again just sat there, quiet and peaceful after a job well done.
Eskel laughed and tried extricating himself from Aiden’s grasp, which was a job harder than it should have been. Aiden had a death grip when it came to cuddles, and seemingly more arms than an octopus.
“Why won’t you both sit down and I will make us two more cups of coffee and then we can discuss how you will appropriately bribe me to bring the lady over here her morning pastry.”
Seeing Eskel, personified sunshine and kindness, every morning? Lambert and Aiden grinned at each other. They would absolutely not have a problem with that.