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Fundy doesn’t have a caregiver, so he can do whatever he wants when he’s baby. He can stay up as late as he wants, eat alllllll the candy, and- and-
And he doesn’t get cuddles.
He always always always wants cuddles and snuggles and kisses and just lots of physical love and affection in general when he’s baby, but he can’t have any.
Don’t be baby around anyone else, Big Fundy, buried deep inside his mind, always warns him. They’re going to think you’re crazy and no one will like you anymore.
Little Fundy always agrees quietly, hugging a stuffie to his chest and really really really just wanting a person to hug. Any person. He doesn’t care who it is. He doesn’t care if they like him or not.
He just.
Doesn’t.
Care.
But he hides his baby-ness, pouring the want to be tiny and sweet and adorable into his streaming. He’s not very baby on stream, usually, but he is kind of small.
The maid dress, for example.
He loved that dress at first, he thought it made him look adorable, but then he had people he knew watching his stream and the vague baby-ness melted away, leaving him embarrassed and trying to build a chair as quickly as possible.
Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes he stillnputs on the maid dress when he’s alone, because it makes him feel so so so small.
Today, he has the dress on, and an orange paci hanging from a clip of the same color attached to the collar of the dress. He’s bouncing around his bedroom, giddy with excitement and baby-ness and fuzzy and and-
The doorbell rings.
Fundy freezes.
No one’s supposed to come over today, he made sure of it, so who-
His phone buzzes.
The Blade(tm): yooo
The Blade(tm): im at your house nerd
The Blade(tm): let me in
furry: uh
The Blade(tm): wait your here right
furry: im here but its not really a good time
furry: nothing bad just.
furry: embarrassing
furry: you can come in if you want tho
The Blade(tm): doors locked
furry: oh yeah sorry forgot about that
The Blade(tm): i could bust it down
The Blade(tm): or you could unlock it
The Blade(tm): your choice
furry: ill be right there
There’s no time to change out of the dress, so he goes to the front door in embarrassment, closing the curtains as he goes past each window so that the neighbors can’t see him. He unlocks the door and opens it a bit, peering through the crack to see Techno, staring him down silently in true Techno fashion.
“Don’t laugh,” he pleads, then he opens the door fully and quickly pulls Techno inside, shutting the door as soon as possible.
Techno ignores Fundy’s plea, a laugh bubbling up, but then he stops abrupty, eyes fixed on-
Fundy panics.
He grabs the paci still attached to his collar and shoves it down the front of the dress so that it’s out of sight.
“Wait, was that-“
“Nope. Wasn’ anyt’in’,” Fundy babbles. “Doesn’ matter.”
Techni tilts his head, reaching out and pulling at the clip so the paci comes back into view. Fundy is terrified, he grabs the paci away from Techno and unclips it quickly, hiding it in his hand.
“Is that a pacifier?” Techno asks, pointing to Fundy’s hand.
“No,” Fundy says stubbornly. “Not a paci.”
Techno exhales sharply, wrapping Fundy in a tight hug. “You’re so annoying. Nerd.”
“Not a paci,” Fundy insists.
“Don’t lie, darlin’. I know it was a paci.”
Fundy pushes Techno away, crossing his arms and pouting. “Wasn’.”
Techno shrugs. “Well, darlin’, that must mean you don’t want cuddles, like you’d get if you were baby.”
Fundy hesitates. He wants cuddles! And he thinks Techno is okay with him being baby? So he takes a deep breath and extends the hand holding his paci to Techno, uncurling his fingers shyly.
“There you go,” Techno says, gently taking the paci from Fundy’s hand and clipping it back to the dress. “Good job, darlin’. I know how hard that was.”
Techno ruffles Fundy’s hair. Fundy leans into the touch, making soft trilling and cooing noises, the Fundy-specific ones his chat calls fox noises. He love love loves Techno!
“You like physical affection, don’t you, darlin’?”
“Yeah,” Fundy admits softly, bringing his thumb up to his mouth like he does when he’s live sometimes, out to the side to make it look like he’s just chewing on his thumbnail.
“Hey, don’t do that, darlin’,” Techno says, pulling Fundy’s hand down gently. “You have a paci for a reason.”
Fundy whines. “Don’ wanna.”
“Why not? It’s a nice paci.”
“Don’ wanna,” Fundy says stubbornly, refusing to clarify.
“Is it because you don’t want to look too baby around me?”
Fundy flushes, nodding a bit, fidgeting with the edge of his skirt.
“It’s alright, darlin’. I won’t judge you, I promise. Could I do anything to make you feel safer?”
Fundy shrugs. “Dunno.”
“What if we go to your room?” Techno suggests. “And we can play together in there. Would you feel safer in your room, darlin’?”
“Prob’ly,” Fundy mumbles.
Techno takes Fundy’s hand and makes to go down the hall to his bedroom, but Fundy whines, tugging him to a stop.
“What is it, darlin’?”
“Up,” Fundy whines, reaching for Techno.
“You want me to carry you?” Techno confirms, then, when Fundy nods enthusiastically, he laughs softly. “Alright, darlin’, I’ll carry you.” He swoops Fundy up into his arms like a front backpack. Fundy shrieks in joy, wrapping his arms and legs around Techno and squeezing him tightly, burying his face in Techno’s neck.
Techno goes slowly down the hall to Fundy’s room, rocking him gently. Fundy makes fox noises and taps his fingers aggressively on Techno’s back, one of his favorite happy stims.
“Hold on tight, darlin’,” Techno murmurs, shifting Fundy a bit so he’s balanced on one arm and reaching out to open the door.
Fundy makes a soft fox noise and pauses his stimming, not without effort, to hold on tighter. The door swings open, and Techno shifts Fundy back to being centered. Fundy giggles, tapping his fingers again. Techno sets Fundy down on the bed.
“Do you have any other littlegear, darlin’?” Techno asks softly, his voice way more calmer and more quieter and more baby-friendlier than normal.
Fundy nods aggressively, hopping off the bed and stumbling his way over to the closet. He opens the door and drops down onto the floor, lifting up the hidden panel.
His hand scrapes against the edge of the floor next to the panel, and he bursts into tears.
Techno’s breath catches, hard, when Fundy starts sobbing. He hurries over and sits down on the floor next to the baby, tugging him into his lap.
Techno’s taken care of babies before, but never a baby. He usually takes care of Phil, who’s always six to nine, or Tubbo, whose range is five to seven, or occasionally Wilbur, who doesn’t really have a specific range but is always two or older.
Apparently, Fundy is smaller than any of them.
Techno decides he’ll just wing it, based off of previous caregiver experience and vibes he’s picked up from Baby Fundy. Fundy seems to like physical touch, so Techno hugs him tightly, rocking back and forth, making soothing noises. His eye catches on the paci, still hanging from the maid dress he didn’t know Fundy had kept.
Techno takes the paci by the handle and holds it up to Fundy’s mouth. Fundy opens his mouth and starts suckling the paci instantly, his crying stopping as he stares at Techno, eyes wide. He holds his hand up, showing Techno the scrape on his hand and making pitiful “fox noises”, as everyone has labeled them.
Techno cooes in sympathy, kissing the scrape gently. Fundy giggles softly, then points at the floorboard, still slightly offset from the rest of the floor from where Fundy dropped it. Techno smiles gently, picking up the board and moving it to the side.
“You need to move your gear to a better place, darlin’,” Techno murmurs, running one hand through Fundy’s hair and using the other to lift out a box labeled ‘fundy box with boring stuff’ in childish handwriting. “You’re gonna hurt your soft baby hands.”
Fundy babbles in response, grabbing for the box. Techno laughs softly, opening it to find a few ziplock bags inside, each with labels.
teenspace 13+ (that’s the emptiest bag)
middlespace 6-12
littlespace 2-5
babyspace
The babyspace bag doesn’t have an age on it, but Techno can guess. There’s also one labeled ‘pacis’. Techno sets that one to the side, since Fundy already has one out.
“How old are you, darlin’?” Techno asks.
Fundy stares at him, wide-eyed. Techno chuckles. “Alright. Babyspace box it is.”
He takes out the babyspace ziplock and opens it, pulling out a glass baby bottle with an adult nipple, some goldfish, and a small snack cup, probably for the goldfish. Fundy makes some more fox noises, making grabby hands for the bottle.
“It’s empty, darlin’,” Techno murmurs, pouring some goldfish into the snack cup and handing that to Fundy instead. “I’ll go fill the bottle. Don’t spill this everywhere, alright?”
Fundy cooes again, reaching into the snack cup and pulling out a single goldfish very very carefully. Techno smiles dotingly, nudging Fundy off of his lap and getting up.
In the kitchen, it takes him a minute to find the vanilla (top left of the pantry) and honey (middle right), but the milk is in the door of the fridge, right where it is at Phil’s house. Techno mixes up the angel milk and puts it in the microwave for two minutes. While it’s going, he pulls out his phone and texts Fundy.
The Blade(tm): you good darlin?
furry: ❤️❤️❤️
Techno smiles, not sure why he texted a baby. Fundy probably isn’t even able to read the message. So Techno sends a voice message, asking, “You’re still good in there?” He gets another three hearts in response, and he smiles again.
The microwave beeps. Techno pulls the bottle out, covering the top with his thumb and shaking it briefly. He squeezes a couple drops on his wrist, making sure it's not too hot, then makes his way back to Fundy’s room.
To find the baby sitting on the floor, surrounded by broken goldfish.
“He’p,” Fundy mumbles softly, holding his hands away from his maid dress, which is covered in crumbs. He was trying to be careful, really, he was! He didn’t mean for the goldfish to break, he just wanted to throw the cup a bit, he didn’t know the goldfish would fall out!
“Oh, darlin’,” Techno cooes, putting the bottle on the nightstand and dropping down next to Fundy. Fundy tries to hide his face in his hands but all that does is spread crumbs even more.
“Don’t touch anything,” Techno warns sharply. Fundy stops quickly, freezing and holding completely still.
“I’ll get you some pajamas, darlin’,” Techno says, voice softening at the terrified look on Fundy’s face. “Sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn’t’ve done that.”
Fundy makes soft fox noises, watching with wide eyes as Techno goes over to the dresser and opens the drawers one by one until he finds the one with the pajamas. A minute later, Techno turns back around with a too-big orange hoodie and a pair of black leggings.
“Do you need help changing, darlin’?” Techno asks softly, coming over with the new clothes. Fundy nods, holding his crumb-covered hands out to Techno, who laughs. “You’re going to have to vacuum later.”
Fundy makes more fox noises as Techno helps him up and unclips his paci, putting it on the nightstand next to the bottle. Techno holds Fundy steady and helps him out of the maid dress and into the hoodie and leggings. Fundy looks sadly at the maid dress.
“We can wash it,” Techno assures him. “You want your bottle now?”
Fundy forgets all about the dirty dress, cooing happily and reaching for Techno, who laughs.
“I need to reheat it,” Techno says, “since it’s been a while. It’s probably cold now.”
Fundy whines, making grabby hands at Techno. He wants to come this time!
“Alright,” Techno laughs. “You can come.”
Fundy makes happy fox noises as Techno picks him up and balances him on his hip, like an actual baby. Fundy lays his head on Techno’s shoulder. Techno grabs Fundy’s paci, clipping it to his hoodie. Fundy pops the paci into his mouth as Techno grabs the bottle and starts down the hall to the kitchen.
Fundy babbles softly about nothing in general while Techno heats the bottle, rocking Fundy gently. Techno kisses Fundy’s hair, then takes the bottle out of the microwave and goes back to Fundy’s bedroom.
Techno sets Fundy on the bed, then tests how hot the bottle is on his wrist. Fundy watches curiously, giggling happily when Techno sits with his back against the backboard of the bed and scoops Fundy sideways into his lap.
Fundy snuggles close to Techno, leaning back onto his arm. Techno cooes gently at him, taking the paci out of his mouth and replacing it with the bottle.
When the bottle is halfway gone, Fundy’s already falling asleep. He wants to stay awake to finish the bottle, but he’s super tired.
He wakes back up a bit when Techno takes away the empty bottle, whining softly. Techno makes soothing noises, giving him his paci quickly.
Fundy settles back down, staring up at Techno through half-closed eyes for as long as he can stay awake.
Techno has really pretty pink hair.
Techno smiles down at the baby, then reaches over to grab his phone. He holds it away from himself and takes a selfie, making sure it has Fundy’s hands, tangled in Techno’s long curly pink hair, in frame.
baby knowers chat
The Blade(tm): Attachment
The Blade(tm): fundy is apparently also tiny
The Blade(tm): v tiny
The Blade(tm): like nv (nonverbal) tiny
Dadza(tm): awww
tubso: so baby
wilby: he is babie
Dadza(tm): Baby Fundy and Techno’s Pretty Pink Hair
The Blade(tm): precisely
If Techno puts text on the picture saying “Baby Fundy and Techno’s Pretty Pink Hair” and favorites it, that’s his own business.
And Fundy’s, when he sees Techno’s lockscreen the next day.