Chapter Text
Harry clutched onto the handle of his overstuffed duffel bag, murmuring thanks to the cab driver as he paid him in a mix of crumpled bills and jingling pocket change.
Harry set his guitar case down on the pavement and adjusted the strap on his brown leather backpack as the cab pulled away. He couldn't carry his duffel bag, guitar case and decipher a campus map at the same time- Harry was too miserable at directions to try and get anywhere without a map. A bottle clinked audibly in his suitcase as he set it down.
"Preston Hall," he said under his breath, trailing a long finger across the map in an attempt to locate it. Judging by the map, it should be... to his left?
Harry sighed and crumpled the map back into his pocket- a near impossible fit with the skinny jeans he had on that day- and headed toward the nearest building on his left.
As soon as he made his way around to the front of the building, he was attacked by a swarm of people in neon shirts, chanting things about Preston Hall.
Harry bit his tongue to keep from laughing.
One of the neon-clad girls rushed up with a clipboard. "Name?" she asked, brightly.
"Um, Harry Styles," Harry said, peering over at the list, trying to see if they had anything written about him next to his name. Perhaps: Harry Styles... likes long walks in the rain and grey kittens. Sometimes sings the Lion King in the shower.
"Styles... Styles... seventh floor!" she beamed, and the people around her cheered.
Harry probably shouldn't have skipped out on his morning coffee today, he wasn't awake enough to deal with this level of pep. The only way she could be more enthusiastic would be with a set of pom-poms
"So if you could just follow him up to your floor-" the girl was explaining.
"What was that?" Harry asked, realizing he must have dazed off while she was talking. Maybe he shouldn't be signed up for so many three hour lectures if he couldn't focus on a one minute conversation.
"Your Residence Adviser- RA- is Louis Tomlinson?" she said, confirming he was listening this time. "If you just follow him, he'll help you get settled into your room."
"Okay, which one's Lou-" Harry stopped when it felt like the air had been sucked sharply from his lungs.
Jesus.
"Can I grab that for you?" Louis asked, reaching his hand out for Harry's suitcase.
"Yeah, that'd be great thank you," Harry said, a blush creeping up onto his cheeks already, knowing he'd been looking a little too long.
It's not like he could be blamed though. Louis Tomlinson was... he was something else. Curvy but strong, smaller than Harry but with a glint in his blue eyes that made Harry instantly feel like he was melting, and with a stubble on his sharp jawline that Harry bet would tickle if he kissed you.
Not that Harry was thinking about that.
"Is this everything?" Louis asked, shaking Harry out of his thoughts. He was holding up Harry's massive suitcase with ease.
"Mhm, that's everything," Harry nodded, and followed Louis into the building, and into the elevator. He was mentally kicking himself for how boring he'd come across so far. One cute guy and you forget basic conversation skills... great first impression, Styles.
The two were in the elevator together now, and it was tiny and cramped and Harry was too aware of that.
"So I'm Louis," the older boy smiled. "It's nice to meet you."
"I'm Harry," he replied. "I'd shake your hand, but you're holding all my possessions at the moment so..."
"We can hug it out later," Louis laughed.
Harry's ears perked up at the sound of that.
"What's your major?" Louis asked.
Harry could already sense that he'd be asked that daily for the first few weeks. "Psychology, concentrating in social work. How about you?"
The elevator doors dinged open, and Louis let Harry step out first.
Louis smiled, and lead Harry down a long hallway. "I'm double majoring in Journalism and English."
"Impressive," Harry said, looking around at the walls as they headed to his room. They were coated in brightly coloured flyers, advertising karaoke nights, tutors, book clubs, poetry readings, football games... "Is there always something going on here?" Harry asked, slowing down to try and catch the information from an open mic flyer.
"Always," Louis grinned. "You could find at least three different things to do a day here if you wanted."
"Wow," Harry said. "I don't know if I'm that... spirited." His eyes flickered to Louis' neon yellow 'PRESTON HALL' t-shirt. "No offense," he added hastily.
Louis laughed, as he wriggled the key into the lock- Harry looked up at the door they'd stopped at. Room 722. "It's not always like this," he said, jiggling the knob before the door creaked open. "Everything calms down after about a week or two, then everyone's just locked away studying all the time. I'll have to get you out to at least one or two of the events though... gotta get the college experience, you know?" They stepped into the room, cement walls painted a milky cream colour with two twin beds and two matching desks.
"Mhm," Harry agreed. "So living in an authentic jail cell is part of the experience I take it?"
Louis laughed, and Harry noticed a dimple pop into his cheeks. "You get used to it."
"Do you actually?" Harry asked.
"Not at all," Louis laughed. He set Harry's duffel by the bed next to the window. "Guess you get the window side, since you're here first," he smiled, looking over at the second empty bed in the room. "Hope you get on well with your roommate. Don't believe all the awful college stories- most roommates are great... and if they're not, that's what I'm here for."
Harry took a deep breath, he was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. He'd always had sensory issues- everything was just brighter and louder and more intense to him, and it made new situations seem overbearing. He sat down on the bare mattress, reminding himself over and over, first day of college is not the time for a panic attack.
"Here," Louis said, opening the musty blue curtains to let some light into the room. "Let me help you make your bed?"
Harry nodded, and unzipped his duffel, rooting through for his sheets and pillow, hoping that Louis wouldn't seeing anything embarrassing in his open luggage like his briefs or panties or half empty bottles.
Harry's sheets were plain grey and worn thin. Louis helped stretch the first sheet over the mattress, and then helped Harry smooth out the thicker blanket on over top.
When they were finished, Louis sat down on the freshly made bed and hugged Harry's pillow to his chest. Harry took off his boots, and sat down next to Louis.
"I wish I could just stay up here for a bit." Louis sighed, looking over at Harry, his blue eyes glimmering. "The whole chanting and hundreds of new people is all a bit much, you know?"
"Oh, trust me, I know," Harry said, twisting his thin leather bracelet around his wrist.
"Well, it was nice meeting you, Styles." Louis smiled, and left Harry's pillow on his bed, and dropped his room key on his empty desk. "Don't be a stranger."
Louis left the room and Harry was entranced as he walked out. No human should look that good from the front and the back.
Closing his eyes, Harry curled up on his freshly made, slightly lumpy dorm mattress. It didn't feel anything like home yet and he was more than ready to hide out for the rest of the day and nap until he felt less overwhelmed. He just needed a little quiet sometimes.
His phone blared, and Harry let out a sigh loud enough to make his curls dance a little.
He answered anyway.
"Hey, babe!" Harry said, his phone tight to his ear and his arms hugging the pillow that still held Louis' scent. "I miss you too."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Louis tugged at the hem of his neon Preston Hall t-shirt, itching to get out of the cheap fabric and into one of his favourite comfy scoop necks. He checked his phone- it was just past seven when the meeting was supposed to start. Louis surveyed the room trying to count in his head to make sure everyone was there. There seemed to be about forty students, which was the number he was waiting on.
The common room was cramped with first years, talking nervously, acting nonchalant and scrolling through their iPhones and stealing glances at the stack of pizza boxes on the table. He looked over at Harry who was sitting quietly by the windowsill, twisting his thin stack of leather bracelets around his wrist. Harry was wearing a faded Radiohead shirt and his jeans were tight against his lean legs. He sucked his lip ring into his mouth playing it around his tongue. Louis knew that lip ring would be the death of him- Harry had delicate lips, blushed through with red like he were bit them too much. Louis didn't realize he was staring until Harry looked up at him expectantly and he remembered he was supposed to be making a speech. Louis tried to clear his head and focus on his job.
"So," Louis said loudly, clearing his throat and clasping his hands together. "I'm Louis Tomlinson and I'll be your Residence Advisor, or 'RA' for the year! If you need help studying, or want to know how to get involved on campus, or just need someone to talk to, I'll be the one to go to! I live in room 710 and you can't miss it, I've got a big sign out front." Louis laughed nervously. Harry was looking up with bright eyes encouragingly, even though the rest of the students seemed disinterested.
"Also, not saying anyone's going to have roommate problems, but if you do, I'm the one you need to go to. Just some basic housekeeping- everyone should have noticed by now the papers on your desks when you got here. There's some forms you'll need to fill out for a few different things, campus maps, important phone numbers, and the floor rules. I'll let you read through those on your own time and make sure you're following them, but just to draw your attention to an important one for tonight especially, there won't be any noise on this floor past midnight, alright?"
Louis looked around encouragingly. "Any questions?"
"When do we get pizza?" some guy in a hoodie called out.
Louis sighed a little. He was almost hoping for an actual question or two. He liked feeling needed. "Go for it," he said, motioning to the table.
After the students had grabbed their pizza, most of them headed back to their rooms in small groups, already too afraid to be caught alone even though it was the first day. A few awkward straglers left the common room, and then it was just Harry, picking up his pizza and placing it on his plate carefully.
"How's your first day going so far?" Louis asked him, smiling with relief that at least maybe Harry would want to talk to him. Did Harry want to talk to him? Louis couldn't seem to think straight since they'd been introduced. Everything about the boy was just captivating and... different. Harry Styles was just a beautiful mismatch of personality and Louis craved every bit of information he could seek about him.
Maybe it was his journalistic nature coming out.
Or maybe it had been a day and Louis needed to calm the fuck down about some boy he'd just met (even if that boy looked glorious in skinny jeans).
Louis bit the inside of his cheek. It was probably the second one.
"It's... good," Harry nodded, nibbling at the end of his pizza slice.
Louis tried to keep his eyes from trailing over Harry's ink covered arms, but he couldn't help it. "Nice tattoos," he said. Nice biceps, he added mentally.
"Thanks," Harry said, brightening up. "My friend Niall did them, he's trying to make it as a tattoo artist."
"I don't know if I could ever do that," Louis said. "I'd be too worried about messing up and then it would be on someone's body forever."
Harry laughed. "Oh, Niall's messed up a billion times." He twisted his arm at a weird angle to show Louis an unidentifiable blotchy tatt. "See this piece of shit? On me forever. I told him I wanted a cat but this is what I ended up with."
Louis laughed, sitting down on the couch, and Harry sat hesitantly next to him.
"By the way," Harry said, "I don't know if that was your way of saying you're scared of messing up at being an RA but I think you're doing a good job so far." He looked over at Louis, thick lashes framing his green eyes.
"Thanks," Louis said. "It's just kind of awkward, you know, because I want people to like me but at the same time, I need them to take me seriously when I start busting parties and stuff."
Harry smirked, and Louis could see dimples denting into his cheeks. "Well if you ever bust one of my parties, I promise to take you very seriously, Louis Tomlinson."
God, Louis was so gone for this boy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Liam," Louis sighed into his phone. "I have a problem."
"Well hello to you too, Tomlinson." Liam laughed.
"Sorry, sorry," Louis said. "Hi, Liam, how's your day?" He bit his cheek, smiling as he listened to his friend on the other end of the line.
"It's been uneventful so far, thanks for asking," Liam said, and Louis could practically hear him pacing. Liam always wandered circles around his place when he was on the phone. "Okay, you can get on with your story now."
Louis wished he had a chord on his phone so he could twirl it around his fingers like he used to do when he was little and he would talk to his grandparents on the phone. He settled for twirling a pen between his fingers. "So, there's this guy-"
"Louis," Liam said, "There is not, don't do that, you have horrible taste in men. I thought we agreed, no more boy talk until you start respecting yourself."
"No, this one's different!" Louis insisted. Harry wasn't just some guy he'd met at a bar that wouldn't call him in the morning. "And stop sounding like my mom," he added huffily.
"Okaaay," Liam said, sounding wildly skeptical. "Where did you meet him? I thought you were stuck in the dorms for the first week in case any of the first years needed- oh. Oh! Jesus. Louis!"
"Liam," Louis replied calmly.
"He's not-" Liam warned.
Louis cringed into the phone. "Hypothetically, say he were a first year-"
"He's not." Liam insisted.
Louis groaned and faceplanted into his stack of pillows. "Am I going to hell for this?"
"For being a bad RA?" Liam laughed, "I doubt it. Just keep it in your pants, Tomlinson, you know the rules."
"I should have just lived with you," Louis muttered, picking at a hangnail.
"Probably," Liam laughed. "But it was like your dream to be an RA, so just... I don't know, just try to be friends with the kid, be normal."
"But he talks to me a lot more than the others do," Louis said. "Should I just stop talking to him, or?"
"No, no," Liam said. His pacing sounded faster now. "He might need that, that's what you're there for... just don't push him away, but," Liam sighed. "What's his name anyway?"
"Harry," Louis said, loving the way it felt on his lips. "Harry Styles."
"Harry Styles," Liam repeated. "You sound pretty far gone, mate. Also, may I remind you, it's been a day. We agreed, no more of this 'maybe he's the one' bullshit every time you meet a cute stranger."
"I know," Louis muttered into his pillow. Maybe if he stayed facedown long enough he would suffocate his way out of his problems.
"Just think," Liam said. "He's probably straight anyway."
"Oh that's true!" Louis said perking up. But for whatever reason, he couldn't picture Harry's lean body and delicate lips pressed into a girl.
Louis couldn't stop picturing that lean body pressed up underneath his, those delicate pierced lips forming an O shape as they tried to moan his name, cheeks flushed and eyes darkened, Louis' tongue tracing along the shapes of his tattoos.
Louis felt like his worst fear was coming true.
He was a terrible RA.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"What's wrong with you, huh?" Liam asked, kicking Louis in the shin. "You're pretty moody for a guy who's winning at Mario Kart."
"Harry hasn't talked to me in a week," Louis sighed.
"Oh no." Liam said, his eyes wide. "What a tragedy that the guy you're supposed to stay away from is doing all the work for you and making your life easier."
"No, it's not like that," Louis said defensively.
"Should I break out the ice cream so we can talk about our feelings?" Liam asked.
"Fuck off, Payne," Louis said. "I'm being serious."
Liam sighed, and turned to face Louis, his brown eyes watching Louis intently, pausing the game when he could sense Louis' shift in tone. "Okay, talk to me then."
"Well the first night the first years moved in, he came to my room at, like, four in the morning." Louis started.
Liam raised his eyebrows but didn't interrupt.
"And he was having trouble breathing, it was a really bad panic attack... he was crying and he just wanted someone to hold him and talk to him, so I did," Louis said while Liam listened quietly. "And he opened up to me a lot, and he was just so close to me and then I sent him back to his room and he seemed fine but he hasn't talked to me since. He just says hi when I bump into him in the halls." Louis thought about the past week and how many times Harry had awkwardly shuffled past him in the halls, barely making eye contact with Louis as he left for class.
"I think," Liam said, weighing his words carefully, "I think sometimes when people have panic attacks they tell you more than they would if they would have normally told you... you know? Like he probably wouldn't have opened up to you so much on the first day if he wasn't panicking. You were basically a stranger and now he probably feels awkward about telling you so much."
"So now that he's back to feeling he's embarrassed about telling me everything?" Louis asked.
"That's my best guess," Liam said.
"Then what am I supposed to... urghh," Louis groaned. "I hate my life, can we trade?"
"Nope," Liam said, grabbing for the bowl of chips. "I don't care how much you're getting paid, I'd literally never move back to a dorm room. I mean, public showers," he shuddered. "I like being able to do laundry without having coins on me and shower without sandals on."
"I just want to talk to him again, I don't want things to be awkward forever." Louis sighed.
"Why don't you ask him to the open mic tomorrow?" Liam asked.
"Do you think he'd go?" Louis asked.
"Probably," Liam said, "I mean, you might not get him onstage but at least he'd probably be down to listen. You still up for playing 'How to Save a Life' with me?" he asked, restarting the game.
"Yup," Louis said, grabbing a handful of chips. Even as he demolished Liam in Mario Kart, all he could think about was the green eyed boy down the hall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oops," Harry said, bumping into Louis in the hallway. He had a small stack of textbooks in his arms.
"Hi," Louis said, smiling nervously. "Where are you headed?" Saturday afternoon was a strange time to be wandering around campus with books when it was only the first month of school.
"I wanted to get some of my readings done for the week," Harry said, sucking on his lip piercing.
"Oh, that's a good idea," Louis said. "Um, so there's this thing on tonight at Hal's-"
"The cafe in Anderson Building?" Harry asked, his nose scrunched up a little as he tried to remember.
"Yeah," Louis nodded, smiling. "They're having an open mic tonight. You play guitar, right? You should come."
"Um," Harry said. "Yeah, yeah, maybe. I just was going to read maybe one chapter first-" he was avoiding making eye contact with Lou.
"We can study together!" Louis suggested. "We can study and then go?" Don't oversell it, Tomlinson, he thought to himself. He knew he shouldn't be pushing Harry so much, but God, he just needed to make sure he was okay. "You promised you'd let me drag you out to a few of these things, remember?" he smiled.
"Okay," Harry said hesitantly, and headed in the direction of Lou's room.
"Oh are we-?"
"What?" Harry asked, sucking on his lip ring again.
"I thought you'd rather study in the library," Louis said.
"We can, I'm sorry I just thought-"
"No, it's okay!" Louis said, "My room's just a bit of a disaster zone," he laughed.
Louis fumbled with his key as he opened the door. He didn't know why everything felt so forced between him and Harry.
Harry relaxed as soon as Louis opened the door. He accidentally let out a loud laugh and covered his mouth with his hand, blushing afterward.
Louis glared, his blue eyes narrowing.
"You're still living out of boxes?" Harry asked, his eyes practically watering with laughter. "Lou, it's been almost two weeks."
Louis tried not to laugh but he couldn't help it.
He cleared off the papers from his desk into a tall stack while Harry walked over to the window to open the blinds and pried the window open a bit. He quickly smoothed out Louis' comforter, trying to be subtle about it.
"Are you making my bed?" Louis asked.
"No," Harry lied, fluffing up the pillows.
"Neat freak," Louis smirked, sitting down at his desk.
"Hoarder," Harry retaliated. His eyes flitted over to Lou's dresser. "How long has that pizza box been there?"
Louis uncapped a pen with his teeth and opened his notebook. "I'm sorry, are we here because a certain overachiever wanted to study on a Saturday, or are we here to clean my dorm room?" He tried to be serious, but his lips turned up in a smile, his eyebrows raising like they did when he was trying not to smile.
"Sorry," Harry said, his cherry lips smiling, as he settled into Louis' bed. The cramped dorm was laid out so that Louis' bed was tucked into the far corner with the window, his desk pressed the exposed side of his bed, forming an L shape that allowed Harry to sit on Lou's bed and still be able to use the edge of his desk. Harry spread out his coloured highlighters and opened his Intro to Psychology textbook.
Louis looked up from his notebook. "I took that in first year!"
"Did you?" Harry asked, his green eyes bright. The late afternoon sun was spilling into the room, casting a soft glow on the younger boy.
"Well," Louis laughed. "Practically everyone takes psychology in first year. Psychology and German were really popular electives when I was a first year."
"Yeah," Harry said, nodding. "Like half the people on my floor are taking those."
"You're getting along with everyone here then?" Louis asked, tapping his pen against his notebook.
"Mhm," Harry nodded noncommittally, uncapping his pink highlighter and marking out a passage. "So... any groundbreaking tips for first year psych?"
"Yeah, actually," Louis said, turning his attention to Harry. "Can I have a look?" he asked, motioning to Harry's textbook.
Harry handed it over, and Louis rummaged through a stack of papers on his desk, pulling out a pair of glasses with thick black rectangle frames.
"You wear reading glasses?" Harry asked.
Louis sighed as he pushed them up his nose. "I know, I know. No need to poke fun."
"No," Harry said. "I think they're cute." He pulled out his phone, which was buzzing in his pocket and slid to ignore the call.
"You can take that," Louis said.
"Not important," Harry mumbled, putting his phone back in his pocket. Louis was amazed anything could fit in those tight jeans.
"Anyway," Louis said, flipping through Harry's textbook. "From what I remember... these two chapters are going to be the most important..." he grabbed some sticky notes from a drawer in his desk and marked off the chapters. "Also you'll want to pay attention to the lecture slides and videos, they'll bring stuff up like that in the exam to try and get people to lose marks for not going to class." He handed Harry's book back.
"Thanks," Harry smiled.
The two studied in silence for a while, Louis glancing over every now and again to see Harry's lanky frame bent over his thick textbook, long curls tucked behind his ears, highlighters in a neat row beside him. Louis tried to focus, but Harry was just so... pretty. His lips always looked so delicate, even with the piercing, and his curls were soft, some of them in wave with a few stray ringlets throughout.
A short while later, Louis' phone buzzed with a text. "It's my friend Liam," he said. "He's at the coffeehouse now, are you ready to go?"
"Yup," Harry said, capping his highlighter, and marking his page.
"Just give me a sec," Louis said, "I don't want to go in sweats."
"Um, okay," Harry said, looking out the window awkwardly.
Louis kicked off his sweatpants, stepping into a pair of black jeans with rips in the knees that he grabbed off the floor. He shrugged out of his t-shirt, and rummaged through his dresser until he found the shirt he was looking for. It was a white Stone Roses band tee, with the sleeves cut off.
He grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the top of his dresser, and slipped one in between his lips, pausing to ruffle his hair up a little in front of the dresser mirror before sliding his lighter into his pocket. "You ready to go?" he asked, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.
Harry was staring a little, and he looked down when Louis looked over, coughing a little bit. "Yup, I'm good."
"Kay," Louis smiled, feeling on top of the world as he grabbed his wallet and locked up his dorm, with the green eyed boy shyly following his lead to the cafe.
He could get used to this.