Work Text:
Yagi Toshinori dreams of the days where he used to be a hero; he dreams of the smiles given to him by strangers, the praise and glory associated with his name, and the mantle taken up by his muscular self. He dreams of the days where he was still a hero in training, Nana Shimura taunting him to do more, his classmates eager to spar and assert their dominance. He dreams about his debut and the many incidents that followed afterwards; he dreams of the days where he was up and coming, and where he was finally becoming the symbol of peace.
And then he dreams how that all went away.
Toshinori recalls his encounter with All for One, not the first but sometime later; it was the time where Toshinori had come to face the villain to seek justice for his sensei – to avenge Nana and her death. He dreams of himself shouting, spouting how the villain took away the life of a person he cared for deeply, and a person who had a loving family waiting for her at home. He dreams of the memory where he had supposedly won the fight but lost too much of himself to relish in his own victory.
Too much blood, too much darkness – too much pain to bear; Toshinori is honestly at loss as to how he still managed to survive but praises himself for being able to smile even just for a tiny bit. He remembers how despite the empty victory, he managed to stand straight with a fist in the air, just before he lost consciousness.
The next few scenes come to him in fragments; the hospital visits and the rehabilitation. The scolding he’d receive from the people who knew of his injury and its origin. Toshinori even dreams of the memory where he had stood outside a graveyard, too cowardly to face the families who lost their loved ones, and even that time where he stood outside the Shimura household, hesitating to knock on the door and tell them the news. He remembers walking away but opting to stop and watch from a far, as a few policemen drop by and begin to brief the family of Nana’s death.
At this point, Toshinori wishes to wake; he doesn’t want to see what happens next, but he dreams of it anyways. Through the window, he sees Nana’s husband falter and her son catching him, trying to get him stable. Toshinori can’t help but burn their expressions into his mind; the grim and the sorrow, the heartbreak and the disbelief. He wishes to apologize, for not telling them face-to-face, for not being able to save Nana, but before he gathers the courage to walk to their house again, he sees a little boy jump into the frame.
He looked no older than six – probably around four or five – he seemed confused about the situation but looked worried about the two men in front of him. The boy climbed up on the lap of Nana’s son and opted to grab the sleeve of Nana’s husband. Toshinori didn’t need to hear to know what the boy asked.
The boy was Nana’s grandson. His grandfather and father have both been shaken to the core by the news they just received – he’d probably asked, ‘what was wrong?’ or ‘what had happened to grandma Nana?’.
Toshinori wasn’t sure but he honestly didn’t want to know.
His heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
The memory blurs and Toshinori begins to see light. He finally finds himself waking conscious but begins to feel the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. He wipes them away and hopes to forget the faces that he dreamt off. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work and Toshinori is left to think of the pained expressions of the people in his memories.
Toshinori doesn’t come to work that day, and he shoots a quick text to Aizawa to apologize. He explains that he caught a cold and was unable to get out of bed today. He likes to think that what he sent was fine, that his absence from teaching was just for today; that his heavy heart was something that can easily pass, and his mind would eventually stop supplementing such painful memories.
But Toshinori knew the truth.
He knew that the pain in his heart and the reminder of such painful things wouldn’t stop. He could only hope they would.
All Might as the symbol of peace was built on the idea of hope but even then Toshinori knew that sometimes, hope wasn’t enough. And if that were true, then what about all those people he couldn’t save back then? What about all those children, those sisters and brothers, those mothers and fathers who he couldn’t save? What about the hope they held in their hearts? Their prayers that Toshinori – All Might – would save them?
Hope may be useful to ease the hearts of those present today, but hope was nothing but a heavy burden to Yagi Toshinori.
No matter how much he dreams, hope will never bring back those he failed to save.