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Marcy opens up her laptop to play Vagabondia Chronicles. Darcy feels a jolt of excitement every time Marcy wields her sword.
“YES. YES. KILL THEM ALL!!!”
Once Marcy has killed what she needed to kill, a cutscene pops up. As the characters are speaking to one another, Darcy groans.
“UGH, this is so BORING! Isn’t actually playing the game the whole point of this?”
“Yeah, but it’s nice to have a story along the way, with characters to grow attached to!”
“So far we have gained no attachment to any of these characters. We want to see a character DESTROY this boring land.”
Marcy rolls her eyes.
Throughout the rest of the game, Darcy constantly nags Marcy to take over this world.
“I’ve told you for the last time, this game doesn’t have a ‘destroy world’ option.”
“UUUUUGH.”
As the game progresses, Marcy makes it to the final boss cutscene. Suddenly Darcy is intrigued.
“Now THIS is a character we can get behind!”
The moment the cutscene finishes, Darcy jolts into the front seat to attempt befriending the final boss.
“Ok, how do we communicate to this final boss, how do we manipulate it to join us so we can take over this boring place?”
As Darcy moves its character around, the realization hits them.
“We have to FIGHT this thing to win?! We don’t want to save this boring place!”
Before Marcy says something, a thought occurred to Darcy.
“WAIT, if we kill this thing, we can harness its weapons and take over this world ourselves!”
Darcy is moving their mouse and clicking through the keyboard at lightning speed, head glued to the monitor.
“YES YES YES!!! YOU SHALL DIE SOON SO WE CAN TAKE YOUR WEAPONS!!!”
Once Darcy defeats the final boss, it lets out their evil laugh to celebrate its victory.
“THIS IS SO FUN! WE SHALL NOW COLLECT ITS WEAPONS TO GET RID OF THIS PLACE ONCE AND FOR ALL!”
After a few seconds of Darcy trying to find the weapons, they realize that there are no weapons.
“Wh- Where did the weapons go? Shouldn’t they be here?!”
“Well, you can’t really take the final boss’ weapons. Instead, you are seen as the hero! Isn’t that sweet?”
“What? No! We don’t want to be a hero! We want to kill them all! What’s the point of playing a game if you can’t do whatever you want!?”
An idea pops into Marcy’s head.
“Well, I actually have a game where you could sorta do whatever you want!”
Darcy’s eyes beam with delight. “Really?! Show us. We must have full control of a game.”
Marcy chuckles. “Let me have control of my body so I can pull the game up.”
“Ugh, FINE.” Darcy grumbles, never feeling this impatient before.
Marcy exits out of Vagabondia Chronicles and instead opens up Minecraft. She creates a new world and sets the game mode to creative.
Darcy goes back to the front seat with confusion.
“Um, what is this?” This game looks boring already. It just looks like Earth.”
“It’s a sandbox game! I set it in creative mode so you can do as much as you want! Press ‘E’ to open up your inventory!”
Darcy browses around the items for a bit and stumbles across a variety of eggs.
“What do these things do?”
“They spawn animals of any kind!”
“Like squirrels?” Darcy is suddenly intrigued.
“Well, uh, not really. I could try to find a mod though to ad—”
“BORING.”
“But there are so many other cute animals! Rabbits, cats, even parrots!”
Darcy ignores Marcy as it continues searching through the items they could use. Its eyes widen when they see swords.
“FINALLY. WE CAN USE WEAPONS. TIME TO KILL WHATEVER COMES IN OUR PATH. How do we kill, host?”
Marcy giggles. “Left click.”
“Do not tease us, host. It is very important for us to learn the art of the sword, even inside this digital junk.”
Darcy then proceeds to go to the nearest forest to kill the animals.
“YES YES YES!!!! THEY WILL ALL FEEL THE WRATH OF OUR SWORD. WE WILL KILL ALL OF THE ANIMALS IN THIS FOREST!” Darcy cackles.
Once Darcy has figured out how to fly and kill every single animal in the forest, they browse through the eggs to see what it should kill next.
“Villagers? As in people?! THEY SHALL FEAR OUR WRATH WITH OUR SWORD!!! How do we summon them?”
Marcy tries so hard not to laugh. “Right click.”
“We know you’re mocking us.”
Darcy then spawns a ton of villagers, and then kills them one by one with delight.
“YES!!! FEAR US, PEOPLE OF THIS GAME. WE WILL SLASH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.” Darcy cackles once again.
“WOW, this game is FUN. If only this sword could BURN them.”
“I might know how to do that!” Marcy says with a smug tone.
“TEACH US. TEACH US HOW TO RECEIVE THE FLAMING SWORD.”
Once Marcy teaches Darcy how to enchant their sword to fire aspect II, Darcy squeals with excitement.
“FINALLY. WE SHALL USE A FLAMING WEAPON ONCE AGAIN. THEY WILL ALL FEEL THE BURN OF OUR FLAMING SWORD.”
Darcy cackles with delight over the sight of the villagers burning, while Marcy is satisfied.
Not over the villagers burning, of course, but over Darcy being able to express its passion without causing actual crime or damage.
“Oh come on, you can’t commit actual crimes in this game?! Maybe if we figure out how to hack the entire playerba—”
“Darcy, no. Stick to singleplayer.”
“UGH, fine. At least this game is actually FUN. Are there any other torture methods?” Darcy asks themself as it searches through their inventory.
When Darcy discovers the TNT, its eyes glow with excitement.
“FINALLY, THE REAL GOOD STUFF. THIS WORLD WILL NOW PERISH.” Darcy chants as they start impulsively placing TNT all over the ground. Only for it to realize that none of it is actually blowing up.
“UGH, of course we need to light it up first. There has got to be something we can use” Darcy grumbles as it quickly searches through their inventory.
“Flint and steel? Wait a minute. Both of those together can create FIRE.” Darcy quickly takes the flint and steel and begins placing TNT all over its surroundings, and begins their monologue.
“ATTENTION ALL FORMS OF LIFE, WE WILL NOW LIGHT UP THIS TNT TO TAKE OVER AND DESTROY THIS LAND.”
Darcy watches in amazement as the lit up TNT explodes, which then causes another explosion, and another.
“YES YES YES YES YES!!! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO PLAN. THIS ONCE BORING WORLD IS NOW NO MORE. WE MUST DESTROY MORE.”
“I’m glad that you’re having fun, but it’s getting late.”
“UGH, you’re no fun. Fine, you can go to sleep.”
“By me, you mean us, right?” Marcy asks sternly.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”
When Marcy wakes up, she notices sad and angry messages from Anne and Sasha.
Anne: why did you blow up my base? :(
Sasha: do that to my base again and I will kill your dog. i mean it.
“Darcy, what did I tell you about only playing in singleplayer?”
“Yes, yes, we know. We were just curious last night to see what multiplayer is all about, and we saw what appeared to be a world with your friends in it. Also, why couldn’t we fly and be immortal with infinite TNT in that world?! Good thing we figured out how to get back to creative mode.”
Looks like Marcy has to buy a new account for Darcy.
“YES PLEASE. WE DO NOT WANT TO RULE THE DIGITAL WORLD UNDER THE IDENTITY OF ‘CoolBug33.’”
“As long as you don’t use any hacks or join any other multiplayer world, got it?”
“FINE.”
From there, Darcy begins working to get as much TNT as possible to destroy Anne and Sasha’s bases.
ToadWarrior406 blew up
ToadWarrior406: how dare you darcy
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5: HA HA HA WE DO NOT HAVE ANY PET SQUIRRELS SO YOU CANNOT USE BLACKMAIL ON US
ToadWarrior406: i know about your dog named squeaks
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5: WHAT? HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS
annabanana811: you literally built a giant playpen out of obsidian for them just so they can be safe and free without getting hurt
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5: SO YOU TOLD SASHA ABOUT THIS
ToadWarrior406: we can literally see it from our bases
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5: WHATEVER. YOURE NEXT ANNE
annabanana811: sorry dude. i dont usually kill dogs in minecraft but i actually wanna play the game without getting blown up every five minutes
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5: FINE. WE WILL BLOW UP EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND HERE. ALL WILL BE GONE EXCEPT US.
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5 fell from a high place
Rul3r.0fALL_W0RLD5: STUPID RAVINE!!!!!!!! WE WILL BLOW THIS UP FIRST
While Marcy was bored out of her mind with Darcy spending hours upon hours of gaming, she can’t help but find enjoyment in Darcy being so passionate about bringing forth destruction on a simple block game.