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Husker hissed and writhed as he opened the curtains. It felt as if the sun scrubbed out his eyes, grilled them, and smashed back with the sledgehammer. He needed to cut out his drinking at least for a week. It would be nice to remember what mornings were for normal people. He looked at the empty bed and felt claws of pain gripping his throat.
Don’t think about him.
Husker trudged into the kitchen to drink some coffee and make a toast. He hastily cleaned himself, grabbed the first clothes he saw, and finally left the flat. It was hard to stay there for long. The man thought of moving out, but the idea of giving up their place equaled losing hope to be there together again. That was something Husker would never do, even though the chances of going back to what they had were close to zero.
His shoulders relaxed after the chaos of New York, with its sirens, traffic, yells, and all the other signature moves, was shut away by the closed door. All windows were covered with blinds, so only dim light was getting in. The rays that found their way into the room illuminated the dancing dust grains, which lured Husker’s eyes. He liked to look at the interior of the bar at these moments, appreciating the red brick walls near the pool table and the green wallpapers on the opposite side. Husker slid his hand through the surface of the heavy-looking wooden bar stand with a kaleidoscope of bottles behind it. His eyes wandered around the room, noticing the plush bar stools colored similarly to the walls around them, the solid parquets, which most likely have been here for a century, the bulky slatted ceiling made from planks, the stage with the podium piercing through the rows of tables…
Fuck, the stage.
Husker put his palms on the face and slightly scratched the skin as if physically trying to get the thoughts out of his head. He let a sigh and went to the closet for a broom. The man tried to put all his focus on sweeping, arranging the chairs, going through the rows of bottles, preparing the ingredients for the cocktails - anything to keep his thoughts away. He just needed to get through the day, take a bottle of whiskey, finish it alone, maybe get another one on the way home, go to sleep, and repeat.
How fucking miserable he became.
Husker turned his head to the sound of the opened door and cane clatter. Ugh, just what he needed.
“Husker my friend! See you working blood and sweat.”
“What do you need, Alastor?” The bartender frowned.
“Can’t your good pal just pay a visit? Say, for two old-fashioned?” The man in a tacky red suit stopped near the wall, admiring the poster with a black cat holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.
“C’mon, we both know that’s not why you’re here.”
“Fine, fine, you got me,” Alastor threw up his hands, “I do have a small issue we need to discuss. You see, I’ve noticed a peculiar trend in our reviews. Our guests have been pointing out your…ill manners. If you don’t mind, I would like to show a few. Now let’s see… oh, that’s a good one: “Terrible place. The guy behind the bar is shitty as fuck. He called me a dickhead because I didn’t get where the toilet was after he explained it once. The show was nice, but I’m never going back there again. And neither should you.” Look, here’s another: “The bartender doused a cocktail on me after I asked to make it without sugar. He ruined my dress! Never ever coming there again!” And the list goes on and on, Husker dear. People were less than thrilled about your… friend leaving. The last thing that we need is to cause more discontent by the poor quality of our service.”
“So, you’re tellin’ me to be less of a piece of shit?” Husker skeptically arched a brow.
“I believe so,” Alastor twisted his cane with a wide grin.
“Fine, whatever. Can you leave now?”
“Hmm,” Alastor slowly walked over, fixing his glasses. When he was at arm’s length with Husker, he hooked the bartender’s neck with the cane’s handle and pushed the man to his face, “I’m afraid you are not taking this seriously, my friend. The lower our rating gets, the fewer people come. The fewer people come, the less money I earn. And I believe you are bright enough to see where this is going, aren’t you? Thus, it is in your best interest to behave. Although…you could leave, of course. Be your own man. Wouldn’t that be lovely! Ha ha ha! ”
Husker bent down and coughed after his throat was free of the cane’s grip. He could physically feel Alastor’s look of dismay. Husker wanted to hit that man so hard, his body buzzed with adrenaline. And, fucking hell, it hurt to know that he couldn’t.
“Would you also be so kind as to have a proper shower? You reek of alcohol,” As Alastor’s foot crossed the doorway, he turned back with a frustrated snap, “Oh, almost forgot, I will require your services tomorrow. Park Place and Rogers Avenue, 9 pm. Don’t forget to take your tools , we will have a diplomatic tête-à-tête.”
The bartender growled at the man in the red suit vanishing behind the door. He hated Alastor, he hated being dependent, but most of all, he hated being alone.
He was not doing good. It felt like his life was sinking and Husker had no control over it. Yes, that was the decision they made together. God damn it, he even insisted on it. But now it felt like the worst mistake in his life. Husker was fucked up long before they met, but this was starting to look like his lowest point. He was trying to keep the man’s name out of his head for the whole day, but here it was, right on the edge of his tongue.
He missed Angel so fucking much.
~
Angel hid behind the velvet curtains, blowing one last kiss. He tried to keep it cool, walking to the dressing room with his hips swaying, but just as the door shut behind his back, he started jumping, giggling, and clapping his hands. It was the best show he had done so far! Everyone loved him! It could be his chance to finally be noticed and get the real gig! Damn, maybe he could even get a backup dancer spot for some big shot at the Colosseum!
Angel was so hyped, he didn’t even notice the door behind him open. Hearing another row of applause, however, made him turn. He looked with puppy eyes at the tall figure in the crimson coat. A polished man with dark hair put in braids was standing in front of him, smiling temptingly.
“Angel Cakes, that was very good. I knew you were a marvel, but this is a new level, gorgeous,” Valentino gently stroked Angel’s cheek with his knuckles.
“I know, right?! They loved me! But wait, wait, wait, did they notice me? What did they say?” Angel squeezed Val’s hand, looking at him with eyes full of hope.
“Oh, baby, they noticed you alright. That is why I came here,” Val plopped down on the pink sofa, crossing his legs, “You see, there was a particular person who noticed you the most. He’s in close ties with people from Bellagio and is willing to help the rising star. But he will require some… persuasion. ”
Angel felt Val’s hungry eyes go along his body. He knew very well what kind of persuasion the man was talking about. Val suggested this option multiple times, and he always said no. He could do stripping, teasing a bunch of douches was alright too, even letting them drool over him was something Angel could put up with, but that was the line he had never crossed.
Val, however, never got tired of reminding Angel that if he was more agreeable, he would certainly have had bigger gigs by now.
“No, Val. I ain’t doin’ that shit.”
Valentino tsked at the blond and slowly stood up.
“Angel cakes, that stubbornness will be the death of you someday. I’m not saying that you need to fuck the guy. Just spend some time with him, show him attention, maybe give a quick blowjob and the big spot will be yours. I’m sure that is something you can handle”
“I’m not cheatin’ on him,” Angel whispered.
“Oh, c’mon, baby, you’re not serious, are you? You’re fucking twenty-five, grow up already. Your clock is ticking and you keep on passing opportunity after opportunity. The investments are not paying up”
“But you just said that I was good! I’ve been drawing in more money than any of your dancers!”
“You’re not progressing, which means that neither does the income from you. And stagnation is the main symptom of business in crisis,” Valentino looked at confused Angel with a smirk, “Angel, baby, you’re “longing for love” act was cute, but it’s time to cut it.”
“Val, I can’t…”
Valentino sighed and steered Angel to the mirror. Two figures looked back at them. Angel always felt comfortable in his body, even when naked, but standing in the mini skirt under the condescending stare of his boss made him feel more exposed than ever. The height difference was even more frustrating. Angel was used to being the tallest in the room - it always gave him a boost of confidence. Valentino was one of the few exceptions, and it made the blond feel weak. He sensed long fingers go down his skinny arm and then quickly fix his head in front of the mirror.
“What a pretty boy you are, Angel. But you’re not just pretty, are you? You have this spark, something that captivates people. I saw it that night at your boyfriend’s bar. You just needed a little help to perfect it and I gave you all the care you required. Look what beautiful muscles you got after pole dancing. How many nice clothes you have. Your spacious changing room is decorated just for you, and the salary is higher than that of any other dancer in the club. I gave you everything I promised and now I am persuading you to take something that you asked from me in the beginning. Angel Cakes, you are a very valuable asset to me, but daddy’s patience isn’t endless,” Valentino’s hand went through Angel’s hair. The touch was almost gentle, until the taller man roughly threw Angel’s head aside, revealing the tender skin on the neck. Valentino stroked it with his finger and rested his chin on the shoulder, “Let’s be honest, baby, if you love your boyfriend so much, why did you leave in the first place? You’re not stupid, you knew this won’t be a short trip. Let’s say that in 5 years you become the star you want to be. What’s next? You’ll just say “chao” and go back to your shitty flat in the Bronx? We both know it’s not happening. And I don’t see your boyfriend here, so how exactly do you think that would work? Should have talked this over with your noble love before signing the contract, baby”
Valentino fixed his braids, smiled at Angel with his golden tooth, and gave the blond a slight smack in the ass. He finally pulled back, but still stood behind Angel, looking at how the man sighed and leaned on the table.
“Let’s clear things out. You have two options: either do as I say, and win big, or break the contract and pay me back for all the favors I provided. And let’s just say you won’t be able to do it working in that little bar of yours. I give you 15 minutes to change, go down, and razzle-dazzle the man. If you’re not there by that time, we’re going to have a problem,” Valentino slammed the door.
Angel shuddered. He hated to admit it, but Valentino was right. There was no more reason to lie to himself. He is not coming back anytime soon, and Husker wouldn’t leave his bar behind.
If Angel left the club and went back to New York, he would only bring trouble. He didn’t have enough money to cover all the bills from Valentino. Husker already had Alastor on his tail, and adding another sketchy guy into his life was unfair. The whole situation was unfair. Angel left the man he loved behind, knowing he might never come back, and now he was supposed to fuck someone to get a job. He knew that this was wrong and disgusting, but truth was that Angel still wanted that shot. The idea of being more than just a naked body writhing on the pole, but a real star made him shiver with excitement. The stage in Husker’s bar, as sweet as it was, would never give him that thrill. Sleeping with someone sucked, but it would be only once or twice, and then he would have his spotlight. That’s why he moved to Las Vegas in the first place.
Husker deserved so much more. Angel had to call him and end this joke of a relationship. Husker would find someone else, someone who wouldn’t put their interests above all, someone who would be faithful to him, someone who would stay with him. Someone better than Angel.
He felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Angel grabbed his pink-cased phone and went to the contacts. His fingers froze above “💘 Sourpuss 💘”. He needed to call Husker and tell him that they were breaking up. With every ounce of his willpower, Angel pushed his finger on the screen and put the phone against his ear, squeezing the metal harder and harder after each beep.
“Angel?”
“Hey Husky! How are ya, babe?” He tried to murmur more, not to show the tremble in his voice.
“I’m alright, but… Sweetheart, aren’t you supposed to be workin’ right now? It’s like 11 pm at yours”
“Yeah, yeah, just got a few minutes, wanted ta hear yer voice,” Distant noises rang out in the background, “Are ya busy?”
“A little. Give me a sec,” He heard Husker cover the microphone, but it didn’t help much, “Hey, dickhea… sir! Put the fuckin’ bottle down or I will kindly shove it up your ass!”
Angel chuckled. He could almost see the terrified face of the drunk jerk, slowly putting the bottle back. God, he missed this.
“Sorry, just needed to take care of one idiot,” Husker heaved a sigh.
“No, babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize yer shift is not over yet. I’m gonna call ya later”
“Wait, wait, Angie, don’t go. Your voice sounds weird. Is everythin’ okay?” Angel’s tears finally went down his cheeks after hearing Husker’s concern. He quickly grabbed a cotton pad and wiped the skin.
“Everythin’ is fine, Husky, just had a long day. Alright, not gonna hold ya anymore, we’ll talk later,” Before Angel hung up the phone, he felt the words rushing from his mouth, ”Oh, and, Henry… I love you”
A heavy silence filled the line.
“I love you too, Tony. Are you sure you’re alright?”
Angel closed his eyes and silently cursed himself. It’s not like Husker’s name was a secret, everyone just called him by the nickname all the time and at some point, it became easier to always go by it. Angel, however, didn’t want to use his. There were many unpleasant memories connected with it, and after Angel started a new life, leaving the name behind felt right. However, the moment they both told their real names felt intimate, like it was something they shared only with each other. Saying them out loud was a way to show that intimacy. Angel didn’t want to do it, but he just couldn’t stop himself. He needed a reminder of what they had. For the last time.
“Yes, baby, of course. Ok, good luck out there! Don’t forget to beat up all the annoyin’ fuckers”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Husker chuckled, “And you have fun! I know you’ll outshine everyone, you always do. Bye”
“Bye!” Angel waited till he heard the beeps and then snuggled the phone to his chest. It’s okay. He would call tomorrow and tell Husker they were breaking up. Yeah. For sure.
Fuck, what a coward he was.
He reached for his table drawer and took out a tiny metal bottle. He used the cap with a spoon to take some white powder and quickly breathed it in. Angel needed to calm his nerves, and he knew that this baby was always there for him. He threw his head back, taking in the rush.
After he changed into the short sleek black dress with sequins, Angel went back to the mirror to fix his makeup. The face in front of him still looked tired, with the shadow of sadness. However, it didn't seem that bad with a new lipstick, longer lashes, and a fake smile. Just as Husker said, he could always outshine everyone. He made a few last changes to his hair and looked himself dead in the eye.
Let’s party bitches.